Title: JUST GET ON WITH IT!
PAGE TWO
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, Well Plunder you are right now making all things difficult for Stev.
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Ebe. I am sorry for your plight, but if you had read my email to you correctly you would have known that the image would not be accepted. Do not worry about payment, this is definitely not a problem for me. What is more important to me is trust, and because you are sending such a small and incorrect image you are not helping to speed this matter up to a successful conclusion for both of us. Just to make sure 100% that you understand me I will repeat my request: 1. The picture and sign must be VERY LARGE and VERY CLEAR. 2. The words are: I TAKE IT UP THE ARSE Once you send an acceptable picture I am sure that we can proceed to a very swift conclusion. Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
[Well, it's been 10 days since I last heard from Stev. Better check if he's still up to the job] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Stev, Am I to assume by your lack of contact that you no longer desire to continue with this business relationship? Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, How are you doing and how is everything with you hope fine. Plunder you such STEV.
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Stev. Thank you for your email and I shall await your pictures ASAP. Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, Thanks for your letter and am glad to hear from you. Plunder you such a nice stev. [He's right of course. I really am a very nice man
[Ho hum. Another 10 days has passed and nothing from Stev] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Mr. Ebe, This email is to let you know that I am flying to Singapore on the 18th of January 2004. If your photograph is not received by this date then I am afraid we shall not be able to continue with this deal. Kind regards, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe How are you doing and how si everything with you hope fine. I ma sorry i stev
[Another 4 days go by] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Stev. This email is to remind you that the final date for receiving your image is the 21st of January. If you fail to send your photograph before then I am afraid the deal is definitely off. Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Hello plunder, Thanks for thr information and i will be please to send you the image today precisely as i have it just to scan and the upload it. Am deeply sorry and i will then see yhou soon as i will send it. Takecare steve. [I didn't bother to reply]
[THREE DAYS later, a suitable picture finally arrives] From: Stev Ebe Dear PLUNDER HOW R U DOING AND I HAVE SEBT THE IMAGE THROUGH MY EMAIL HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts *** THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE *** Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your email. Unfortunately I am in Singapore on business and I shall not return until the 24th of January. Please contact me again after this date. Mr. Plunder Myknuts
[I'm back from Singapore. I can highly recommend Jurong Bird Park by the way!] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Ebe,
From: Stev Ebe hello plunder, Thanks for you letter and akm glad you are 100% happy about the image. How was business in Singapore hope fine. So how do i get the donation? hope to hear from you soonest. Steve.
[I'd better remind Mr. Ebe about his original scam plans] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Steve, We can get to your donation in time. Please can you tell me how we can progress with the original proposition you contacted me about (your original email is below)? Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, Thanks for the letter and glad to hear from you. Know as i have told you that i need $2000 for the lawyer who is in charge of the document for the said money and that money i mean the $2000 is the money he will use in signing sand processing the document for the said money and transfer the document to the bank where the money was kept and then the cheque of the money will be given to him after then i will plan on how i will transfer the said money to your account immediately as soon as the lawyer negotiation has been successfull. So all i need from you now is the $2000 that i will give to the lawyer in processing the cheque. Please note when sending the money use the WESTERN UNION with my name. Hope we becoming a good business partner and hope you help me to invest the money in a good business. Hope to hear from you soonest. PEACE. [Did you spot Mr. Ebe's accounting error dear readers?!]
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Ebe, Your latest request for $2000 disturbs me. The last time you mentioned payment you told me it was to be $200. I have repeated your email below for your reference. Please explain this. Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, Am deeply sorry i made a mistake when i was typng that letter. Plunder it was a mistake please am sorry i was talking about $2000. Plunder on a normal note how can this deal be transact with $200? all the lawyer ask for was $2000 am sorry it was a mistake. Plunder am sorry it was a supprise too as i got your letter and you said i wrote $200, Plunder that was a mistake it was a typing error. Am sorry and please accept my apology and let get the deal on. Hope to hear from you soonest. Ebe. [Switching over to "Ignore Email" mode!]
From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, How are you doing hope fine. I just want to write you as am waiting on your reply and please dont be mad at me. stev
[One minute later...] From: Stev Ebe Hope to hear from you soonest
[An hour later...] From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder,
I can't watch my hard earned money go down the drain like that. Please Plunder be fast as you can before the lawyer changes his mind. Ebe.
[Three days later and I decide to reply] From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Ebe, Please ask your lawyer to contact me and explain exactly what these 'charges' are for. Before I pay any money out I will require certified documentation. Sincerely, Mr. Plunder Myknuts
From: Stev Ebe Dear Plunder, Thanks for the letter and am glad to hear from you. I will contact him tomorrow ans then he will as well conract you and give you all the informations. Thanks and hope to talk to you soonest.
[Barrister Paul Okere gets in touch] From: Paul Okere Dear Sir, I am Barrister Paul Okere. My clients Mr Steve Ebe have some problem, which I believe you have already known, and also willing to help. I had ealier warned him to forget about every body and try and raise this money for his case but the money he raised was not enough. And time is really runing out and he has sworn not to open his eyes and watch his money go down the drain. He now told me he got a friend on overseas that is willing to help him. I told him Twenty five million, five hundred thousand US dollars is a whole lot of money and after the job he could be douped. He swore you could never do a thing like that. I told him the decision is left for him to take I am only there as legal adviser that will be paid after I render my service. And I was mad at him he said he was sorry that you travelled to Singapore. Then I told him to be more serious about the deal before it is too late for him. Especially now I have a lot of client to attend to. Mr. Plunder, the $2000(two thousand US dollas) he asked you is not for him. It is the token I asked him to bring first to enable me start the processing of the said documents. Which I believed is already sucessful. If not I would have bothered him to waste his money. The agreement is: Ten percent (10%) cash will be given to you who brought the money for the execution of the job, Twenty percent (20%) will be for my client ( Mr. Steve Ebe) for his personal use. While the remaining seventy- percent (70%) will used for a viable business venture of your choice. What a big risk![My thoughts exactly!] I will start processing the documents as soon as my client provides the US $2000. Mr. Plunder, I know we have not met before I mean I don’t know you neither do you. I want to plead with you on behalf of my client not to play any game of cheat as soon as the money is transfer into your account. Since my clients have this undeniable trust for you I don’t see any reason why I fear. He told me this information this afternoon that you wanted to hear from me. So you have nothing to fear, every thing is perfectly genuine.[What? Surely you mean 100% risk free?] Please I would advise you give him the money as soon as possible so that the processing of the said document commence without any further delay. Yours sincerely, Barr. Paul Okere [Plunder doesn't take kindly to bullshit]
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Okere,
From: Paul Okere Hello Mr. Plunder, I saw your mail. Looking critically to your mail, it seems you are in state of doubt. As a good businessman you should not be afraid to take some necessary and guaranteed risk. At the other hand, Mr. Steve my client stands in the biggest side of the risk. You see I will not blame you because we are all human and to believe or doubt anything especially the things or persons we have not proved or tested. He even told me that you asked him to bring his picture that he did and you will not accept it unless he sends it again. That you wanted to know whom you are dealing with and without which you will not give him the money in question. He complied and the money is not is not coming forth. Please Mr. Plunder, if you are no longer ready to give him the money tell him so that he can look for another. Because the time is fast spent. I have other clients and things to. Please let it not ever come to your mind that you may be duped or some thing of that nature. I have handled jobs worth millions of dollars I don’t think $2000 is the kind of money I will dupe. Just that it is very necessary for my client to follow the normal procedure. As for the said documents I am very sorry it will be unethical for me disclose them to you it will be too risky any one could gain access to it. And you know what that means. One of my duties is to make sure that those documents are well protected. I hope you will understand what I mean. My not disclosing the said document is not deliberate it is the laid down principle that I must abide with. Please just know that as soon as you settle with Mr. Steve he will inform me and the transaction starts immediately. Please I have to stop now I am very tired the day was hectic and I have to go beg now because I have to travel first thing tomorrow morning. Your sincerely, Barr. Paul Okere
From: Mr. Plunder Myknuts Dear Mr. Okere,
[Looks like the barrister has had words with Mr. Ebe] From: Stev Ebe Dear Plunder , It has come to a long way that you are no more a stranger to me or i a stranger to you. I have seen clearly what you need and I have put up my hands and do take a risk on showning you the document for the said money with the Bank, But on one condition my lawyer is going to write and shown the document to you and on a more serious note it will be scanned and send to you through the net but it’s a risk for me to disclose this to you but I will have to disclose it right away because my lawyer is so much angry and upset about the delay that he had an important issues too to handle. So its my pleasure to show the bank document to you and please don’t try and do anything because it was to be a confidential matter not to disclose since you still need more proof I have to do that for more proof. Please don’t just say the deal is over you are the one that is going to make this deal get to a successful height and we have gone a long way so why the quiting just like that. Well have to handle deals in a normal way not with an upset heart. I will be telling my lawyer Mr Okere to please pardon me so then he will send you the Bank Document just to let you know the fund exist. Hope things will work out for you and me diffinately we will get to meet in person one day. Hope to hear from you soonest. Your friend
[Shortly after, barrister Okere gets back to me] From: Paul Okere Dear Mr. Plunder, Reading from your last reply it seems you are getting the whole thing wrong. My client told me that you people are friends. But you were not sounding very happy it seems you are angry about the whole thing. May be the tune of my message made you to react the way you did I am sorry for that. I personally I feel humiliated. For crying out loud, I won’t tell you to bring $2000 if such there is nothing that will warrant that. You asked if that is how we do business in our country I am not just a legal pratictional but also a good business man I know what business is all about. I know it entails lots of documents. I know if I had presented to you the necessary documents I would have talked less. But you failed to understand that the nature of things had not permited me to do so. Mr. Plunder can’t you see that it is the biggest risk? Forinstance, you are not feeling comfortable sending the $2000 "like that" because of lack of trust. How much more that kind of money. So I was not comfortable with what you said. Mr. Plunder we all take risks some times. Even me that am talking to you, I know various risks I have taken, though not always favourable. But the ones that are, pays me a great deal and I am not regreting it. It was the risk that I took in May 8 1984 that has brought me to line light. And today I am a sucessful legal pratictional and a businessman. Mr. Plunder, I must commend your efforts so far. You hardly see people that talked about bussiness on net now adays because of mistrust. When you are done with Mr. Ebe I will share some things with you. The truth is you are a good businessman and you are the kind of person I always need around me. Please you have nothing to fear. As for the said documents, I will see what we can do about that. Best regards, Barr. Paul Okere. [Yawn. Ignored]
[Yippee! Looks like my documentation is on the way...] From: Stev Ebe Hello Plunder, How was your day and how was business hope fine. I just want to say hello and my lawyer will be sending the document to youy soonest. Hope to talk you you soonest. Ebe [I wait]
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