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TITLE: Carving For Cash
SCAMMER NAME: Williams Smith
SCAMMER LOCATION: Lagos, Nigeria
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers
Monday arrives, and what do you know, Williams' package arrives
on schedule!
Unfortunately Williams doesn't seem to understand the basic
principles of packaging items for international transit. Because
of this the carving sustained damage in a few places, most notably
on the dog's foot which was broken clean off. I make a quick repair
using superglue.
Pictures of the carving from various angles:
Here's a picture of the shipping receipt. It's hard to make
out, but the total shipping cost (converted from Nigerian Naira
to US Dollars) was only $79 (UK £45). Williams claim of $350/$450
seems a little inflated it seems!
Now to figure out how to make Willims' life a misery!
I decided to employ my favourite technique of letting my scammer
stew for a while, so I disconnected my phone and didn't reply to
Williams for 24 hours. Well it is Valentines day and I'm taking
my wife out (to dinner that is, not with a gun).
From: Williams Smith
To: Derek Trotter
Date: February 14, 2006
Subject: Co-operate
Hello Mr. Derek,
What is happening? i have been calling your line since yesterday
and you dont seems to pick up your phone why or send mail to me
as usual? I learnt from the managent Fedex Courrie Services that
the item have been delivered to you since 10:AM yesterday and the
person who received it is JERVIS . Please comply. I await your urgent
response now.
Thanks,
Mr. Williams.
Guess what? There's been an accident!
From: Roy Slater
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 14, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
My name is Roy Slater and I am the General Information manager here
at Trotters Fine Arts.
I am afraid the reason that Mr. Trotter has not been able to contact
you for the last 24 hours is because he has been hospitalised due
to an accident in our company car park yesterday afternoon.
Please may I enquire as to the business you have been conducting
with Mr. Trotter? We do not expect him to be available for some
time so I shall be taking over some of his duties until he is well
enough to return to work.
Regards,
Roy Slater - General Information
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 14, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR. MR. ROY SLATER,
GOOD DAY. REFER TO YOUR E-MAIL OF TODAY DATED 14/2/2006, I AM SO
SORRY FOR HIS HEALTH. I GUESS MR. DEREK MUST HAVE TOLD YOU THE BUSINESS
I HAVE WITH HIM AND YOUR COMPANY AS THE GENERAL INFORMATION MANAGER
OF TROTTERS FINE ARTS,AND I AM SURE YOU ARE AWARE THAT THE ART WORK
HEREQUESTED ME TO CARVE AND SEND FOR A SAMPLE TO YOUR REPUTABLE
COMPANY THAT AFTER WHICH HE WILL PAY FOR THE COST THE COST THE SHIPMENT
WITHIN 24HRS UPON SHIPMENT OF
THE ART WORK WAS SHIPPED TO LONDON ON 9/2/2006 BY FEDEX COURRIE
SERVICES AND WAS RECEIVED BY R. JERVIS ON MONDAY 13/2/2006 AT ABOUT
10: AM NIGERIA TIME.
NOTE, THE COST OF THE SHIPMENT IS $450 DOLLARS, THE PRICE OF THE
ART WORK, HE STATED IT AT $8000-15000$ DEPENDS ON THE MARK OF THE
ART WORK BY THE FOUR BOARD MEMEBERS OF THE COMPANY AFTER INSPECTION
UNDER 24HRS.
PLEASE, VERIFY, I AM WAITING FOR THE CONFIRMATION OF THE PAYMENT
FOR THE SHIPMENT COST AND THE COST OF THE ART WORK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
PAY TO: MR. STANLEY NNAMDI AKAGBUSI,
WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER- LAGOS.
PLEASE, MY EARNEST GREETINGS TO MR. DEREK AND VERY SORRY FOR HIS
HEALTH. THANKS FOR YOUR ESTEEMED UNDERSTANDING, WHILE WAITING FOR
YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
MR. WILLIAMS.
Right. Time to argue about this shipping fee.
From: Roy Slater
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 14, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
Thank you for your reply.
Please try to understand that since the terrible accident which
befell Mr. Trotter yesterday we are experiencing some delays in
processing applications etc. I would appreciate your patience at
this time and I will try to get everything cleared for you as soon
as possible and hopefully this week. I do however have some question
for you.
1. Regarding the shipping fee. Mr. Trotter told me that you told
him on the telephone that the shipping charge was $350, however
in your email to be below you state the shipping fee is actually
$450. However, on checking with the Federal Express accounts department
they sent me a FAX of the shipping receipt and it quite clearly
states that the shipping charges are 11,792 Nigerian Naira, which
translates to approximately US $82. Please can you explain the discrepancy
to me? I asked the Federal Express shipping department to quote
me for shipping an item up to 2kg and they gave me a quote of almost
an identical amount.
2. Do you have a copy of the artists release form? We cannot seem
to locate a copy of it in Mr. Trotter's office. If you have not
been told about this is it a simple form which requires the artists
signature on it to release the artwork into our possession. If you
have not yet returned this by email attachment then please do let
me know and I will forward you another copy ASAP.
3. Please could you tell me who Mr. Stanley Nnamdi Akagbusi is?
I shall pass on your regards to Mr. Trotter tomorrow morning when
I visit him in hospital. Unfortunately at the moment he is in a
light coma so is unable to talk. The doctor informs me that he should
be able to communicate within the next 24 hours.
Regards,
Roy Slater - General Information
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 15, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR MR. ROY.SLATER,
GOOD DAY.FIRST OF ALL, I HOPE THERE IS NO BOTTLE NECK ON MR. DEREK'S
HEALTH, TO GOD BE THE GLORY. YOUR CROSSPONDENCE LETTER MEETS ME
IN GOOD FAITH, AND THE CONTENTS THEREIN HAVE BEEN NOTED. THANKS
VERY MUCH FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
{1) YOU SAID, MR. DEREK TOLD YOU THAT THE SHIPMENT WAS $350 DOLLARS,
INSTEAD OF $450 DOLLARS DURING OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATION ON 9/2/2006
AT ABOUT 2:12PM NIGERIA TIME, I THINK THAT WAS A NET WORK PROBLEM
AS HE MR. DEREK DID NOT HEAR ME VERY WELL.
{2} YOU SAID YOU FAX FEDEX COURRIE SERVICES AS TO GET EXACT AMOUNT
FOR THE SHIPMENT, THAT IS CORRECT, THE $450 DOLLARS FOR THE SHIPMENT,
THESE INCLUDES BOTH TAXES AND SOME OTHER EXPENSES AS AT THE TIME
OF SHIPMENT, IT WAS SURPOSE TO BE MORE HIGHER THAN $450 DOLLARS,
BUT DUE TO THE WAY AND MANNER MR. DEREK SOUNDS TO ME AT THE FIRST
PHARSE AND I KNOW THAT THE BUSINESS WILL CONTINUE, THAT IS THE REASON
WHY I CUT DOWN SOME OF THE EXPENSES, SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO
ESTABLISHED A VERY GOOD BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH MR. DEREK AND
COMPANY. AND YOU WILL ALSO AGREE WITH ME THAT I MADE YOUR COMPANY
FOR NOT PAYING MUCH DUTY THERE FOR THE ART WORK, BECAUSE ACCORDING
TO MR. DEREK, HE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD PUT THE VALUE TO 30$, SO
THAT HE WILL NOT PAY MUCH DUTY ON THE ITEM, BUT WHEN I CONFIRMED
FROM MY MANAGER, WE FOUND OUT THAT WITH $30 DOLLARS, YOUR COMPANY
WILL PAY MUCH OUTTHEREIN, SO I DECIDED TO MAKE THE VALUE TO 20$.
(3} YOU SAID, I QUOTE, WHO IS STANLEY NNAMDI AKAGBUSI? THIS PERSON
STANDS LIKE PAULA JERVIS, THE RECIEVER OF THE ART WORK IN YOUR COMPANY.
MR. STANLEY NNAMDI AKAGBUSI, IS THE ARTISTAN WHO HUMBLY CARVED THE
ART WORK THAT WAS DELIVERED TO YOU.
{4} DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF THE ARTISTS RELEASE FORM? PLEASE SEE FORWARDED
MESSGAE AND YOU WILL FIND THE SAMPLES THERE IN.
ONCE AGAIN, MY EARNEST GREETINGS TO MY GOOD FRIEND MR. DEREK, HE
WILL GET WELL SOON IN JESUS NAME- AMEN.
I URGENTLY WAITING FOR THE CONFIRMATION OF THE PAYMENT. THANKING
YOU FOR YOUR ESTEEMED UNDERSTANDING AND GOD BLESS.
REGARDS,
MR. WILLIAMS.
From: Roy Slater
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 15, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
Thank you for your reply.
I am afraid that it is you that is mistaken regarding what you told
Mr. Trotter. All telephone calls to and from our offices are recorded,
and attached you will find a small recording of the section of your
telephone call where you told Mr. Trotter the shipping charge was
$350.
Regarding the $450 which includes taxes and expenses, please send
me a scan of the receipts for the said expenses. I am afraid that
unless you are able to prove these other expenses then we can only
pay you for the shipping charges that appear on the Federal Express
invoice.
It appears that your artist has not sent in a signed release form
as I can find no record of it. Please find attached the artist release
form which the artist will need to sign and date. Please return
the signed form to us by email attachment.
Regards,
Roy Slater - General Information
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
I attach a sample of the telephone call where Williams states
the shipping fee is $350.
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 15, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR MR. ROY SLATER,
GOOD DAY TO YOU AND MY EARNEST GREETINGS TO MR. DEREK. YOUR MAIL
OF TODAY 14:56:40:0000 WAS RECEIVED AND RAE NOTED. PLEASE, IF THIS
$350 AND 450$ OF THE SHIPMENT ISSUE WILL BRING A BARRIE TO OUR LONG
GOOD BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP, DO PAY THE $350 DOLLARS AND THE COST
OF THE ART WORK, SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED AHEAD.
LET US NOT BE MISUNDERSTANDING OURSELVES JUST BEACUSE OF SOME LITTLE
DIFFER, YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND WITH ME THAT IT WAS A NET WORK FLUTUATION.
I WANT TO PROVE TO HIM MR. DEREK AND COMPANY THAT I AM FOR REAL
AND READY TO BE YOUR REPRESENTAIVE HERE IN NIGERIA WITHOUT DELAY.
I AWAIT FOR THE CONFIRMATION OF THE PAYMENT.
THE ARTISTAN WILL BE SIGNING THE PAPER AND WILL BE SENT TO YOU BY
TOMORROW. THANKS FOR YOUR USUAL UNDERSTANDING AND GOD BLESS. SEE
MAIL BELOW.
REGARDS,
MR. WILLIAMS.
Williams contats me the next day to send the signed artists
release form.
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 16, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR MR. ROY SLATER,
GOOD DAY. HOW'S IT GOING WITH MR.DEREK, AS PER HIS HEALTH, HOPE
HE IS RESPONDING TO TREATEMENT? TO GOD BE THE GLORY IN JESUS NAME-
AMEN. SEE ATTACHED THE ARTIST RELEASE FORM.
NOTE, THIS DELAY IS NOT OUR AGREEMENT, OUR AGREEMENT IS THAT UPON
THE ARRIVAL OF THE ITEM IN YOUR COMPANY, PAYMENT WILL FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY
UNDER 24HRS, SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED FOR NEXT PROJECT, BUT I AM SURPRISE
WHAT IS GOING ON NOW AS DELAY FROM YOUR SIDE.
I AWAIT FOR THE CONFIRMATION OF THE PAYMENT, SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED
AHEAD FOR NEXT CONSIGNMENT.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS,
MR. WILLIAMS.
Artist Release Form:
From: Roy Slater
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 16, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
Thank you for your email below and the copy of the signed artists
release form that we received some moments ago.
I am afraid that the matter of the shipping expenses is what is
causing the delay. Federal Express records reveal that you only
paid US $82 for the shipping, yet you are now requesting $350. You
have informed us that the remaining payment is for other expenses,
yet you are unable to provide us with evidence of them.
I am afraid that the only payment I can authorise at the moment
is the proven shipping fee of US $82.
Regarding your payment for the artwork itself, because of the accident
which befell Mr. Trotter there has been a slight delay however the
board members will be meeting tomorrow morning to examine the work
and your artist's award amount will be revealed to you later that
same day. I expect to be able to authorise the donation payment
sometime tomorrow afternoon.
Regards,
Roy Slater - General Information
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 17, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR MR.ROY SLATER,
GOOD DAY MY GOOD FRIEND.THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL OF 16/2/2006.BEFORE
I PROCEED FURTHER, HOW IS MR. DEREK TROTTER'S HEALTH CONDITION,
I HOPE NOTING IS GOING ON HAY-WIRE,AS PER HIS HEALTH RECOVERY,AND
THAT HE WILL SOON GET WELL? TO GOD BE THE GLORY.
MR.SLATER, YOU SAID YOU WERE AFRAID HTAT YOUR COMPANY WIIL ONLY
PAY 82$, INSTEAD OF 350$ SPENT FOR SHIPMENT COST AND OTHER EXPENSES
DONE AS AT THE TIME OF THE SHIPMENT OF THIS ART WORK, THAT YOUR
COMPANY WILL PAY 350$ WITH PROVE OF RECEIPT THAT I DID SPENT SUCH
AMOUNT OPF 350$ OR MORE IN THE PROCESS OF THE SHIPMENT.
MR.SLATER, NOTE,IT WASN'T OUR AGREEMENT THAT EVERY EXPENDITURES
DONE ON THE PROCESS OF THE SHIPMENT OF THIS ART WORK TO YOUR LODON
OFFICE, MUST HAVE TO BE RECEIPTED.I AND MR.DEREK TOTLER, DID NOT
AGREE UPON, BASED ON THIS, I INGNORE EVERY RECEIPT OF THE EXPENDITURES
DONE AT THE TIME OF SHIPMENT.
YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME THAT THIS ART WORK COST ME SO DEARLY INOTHER
TO GET THE BEST OF THE ART WORK, INWHICH 4-5 SAMPLES WAS DESTROYED
ON THE PROCESS OF GETTING THE BEST, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS IS
A CONTNUEIOUS BUSINESS AND WAS REALLY HAPPY TO BE YOUR NIGERIA REPRESENTATIVE.
NOTE, I WAS NOT PAID EVEN A RED CENT TO GET THIS JOB DONE, I TOOK
THETASK TO MYSELF TO PROVE TO MR. DEREK THAT THERE ARE STILL REAL
GOOD PEOPLE IN OUR ENTIRE GLOBE, BECAUSE WHEN I ASKED MR. DEREK
FOR SOME FUND, FOR THE SHIPMENT OF THIS ITEM, HE REFUSED AND WAS
A KIND OF ANGRY WITH ME, IT IS NOW I KNOW WHERE HE WAS DRIVEN OUT.
MR.SLATER, I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I AM A MAN OF MY WORD, A MAN
OF TRUST AND HONEST,AND LIKE DEALING WITH PEOPLE OF MY ROLE MODEL
WITH GOOD CHARACTER, I DO HOPE, WE WILL BE MEETING ONE ON ONE, AS
THE BUSINESS PROGRESS, AND YOU WILL KNOW WHO MR.WILLIAMS IS.
HOWEVER, I AWAIT FOR THE AWARD AMOUNT OF THE ART WORK AND THE NEXT
STEP OF ACTION.
ONCE AGAIN, I SAID MY EARNEST GREETINGS TO MR.DEREK AND THE ENTIRE
STAFFS OF TROTTERS FINE ART.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS,
MR.WILLIAMS.
From: Roy Slater
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 17, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
So let me get this straight; you want me to pay for expenses that
you are unable to prove to me? What if you had told me the shipping
fee was fifty thousand dollars Mr. Williams? Would you still expect
me to pay it without any proof that you actually spent such an amount?
You may believe that is a stupid question but this is exactly what
you are expecting my company to do here.
Now, I do not know how you do business in Nigeria Mr. Williams,
but here in the UK we are happy to pay expenses IF they can be proven.
If you are unable to prove the $350 expenses to us then you will
only be paid the $82. If you are able to show me a written copy
of an agreement between yourself and Mr. Trotter that states he
will give you money just for asking for it then I will be happy
to pay it to you, but of course I doubt that such an agreement exists.
It is not a case of believing if you are a man of your word or not
Mr. Williams, or even trust. It is business, pure and simple. Every
penny has to be accounted for. UK Income Tax laws are extremely
strict and unless we have paperwork to verify any expenses in full
then we put ourselves in a very vulnerable position and could find
ourselves being fined very heavily indeed.
I also want to point out to you that whatever expenses you may have
incurred, the shipping fee is just that, the shipping fee. This
does not take into account any other expenses. Mr. Trotter agreed
to pay your shipping fee. We have proven that the shipping fee is
$82 so therefore you are not entitled to any other expenses as far
as I am aware other than $82.
The board members have now met this morning and decided the donation
amount to be awarded to your artist, however there is little point
in me giving you the final sum because of the dispute over the shipping
fee.
Sincerely,
Roy Slater - General Information
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
Williams caves in.
From: Williams Smith
To: Roy Slater
Date: February 17, 2006
Subject: Re: Co-operate
DEAR MR. SLATER,
GOOD DAY.YOUR MAIL OF 17/2/2006 WAS RECEIVED, I THINK THERE IS NO
POINT DRAGING ISSUES BACK, LET ME BEAR THE LOSS OF THE EXPENSES
AS AT THE TIME OF THE SHIPMENT, IT IS MY OWN MISTAKE FOR NOT HAVE
THE RECEIPT OF THE EXPENDITURES MADE. THE NEXT CONSIGNMENT, WILL
BE PROPERLY FOLLOWED AND DOCUMENTED ACCORDINGLY.
LET ME KNOW THE EXACT AMOUNT TO BE PAID AND WHEN TO GET ALL FUNDS,
IT IS CLEAR THAT $82 DOLLARS, IS THE COST OF THE SHIPMENT.PLEASE
MAKE ALL PAYMENT VERY URGENT. I AWAIT FOR YOUR REPLY.
MY EARNEST GREETINGS TO MR. DEREK TROTTER.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS,
MR. WILLIAMS.
Roy Slater doesn't bother to reply just yet, instead along comes
Derek Trotter's brother, Rodney.
From: Rodney Trotter
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 18, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
My name is Rodney Trotter and I am the General Sales manager for
Trotters Fine Arts. As a matter of courtesy I am contacting you
to ask you to congratulate your artist Mr. Stanley Akagbusi. Mr.
Akigbusi's work has been on display in our London gallery for the
past week since its arrival here on the 13th and I am pleased to
tell you that on Thursday the 16th of February your artists's work
was purchased by one of our regular business clients who was very
impressed with the carving.
I have attached photographs of the work on display and also the
sales receipt for your records. Again please pass on my thanks to
your artist.
I believe that my colleague Mr. Slater is currently dealing with
your payment. Mr. Slater will be unaware of the sale until he visits
my department on Monday morning. I am sorry that I cannot give you
any news of your payment amount personally as my department is not
involved in that side of the business, however I though it would
be courteous of me to advise you of the very quick sale of your
artists work.
I am sure Mr. Slater will be in touch with your very shortly as
I have been advised that the board members have already discussed
your payment.
Your faithfully,
Rodney Trotter
General Sales Manager
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
I attach two photoshopped pictures for Williams to gaze upon!
I think Williams is confusing the Derek Trotter company letterhead
with the actual name of the person that is contacting him. He isn't
happy, and replies with:
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 18, 2006
Subject: I hope this is not fraud?
HELLO RODNEY,
THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAIL OF 15-17/2006, I AM NOT HAPPY THE WAY THINGS
ARE GOING NOW, BECAUSE I DID NOT EXPECT THIS FROM YOUR COMPANY.1ST
IT WAS MR. DEREK TROTTER, 2ND WAS SLATER TROTTER AND NOW IT IS YOU,
I HOPE THIS IS NOT A FRUAD? THE ATTACHED SALES RECEIPT OF THE ART
WORK YOU SAID YOU ATTACHED, I DID NOT SEE ANY THING.
THANKS,
WILLIAMS.
Time to put Williams in his place.
From: Rodney Trotter
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 18, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
Are you some kind of idiot? How DARE you call me a fraud you disgusting
little man.
Have you actually SEEN our company website fool? LOOK at the people
listed in the contact email addresses. Can you see the one listed
as SALES? Tell me Mr. "Williams", do you see "Rodney
Trotter" listed there? I think you do, unless you are blind.
I am Derek Trotter's brother.
You have NOT seen ANY message from a Slater Trotter. There is NO
Slater Trotter. You are probably confusing our company logo which
you can see at the top of this letter with the name of the person
contacting you. This company logo is attached to ALL of our letters,
regardless of which company representative emails you. IT IS OUR
COMPANY LOGO YOU IDIOT. The company is called DEREK TROTTER.
Now, you had better damn well apologise to me RIGHT NOW for your
disgusting accusations or believe me you will never see one single
penny from my company.
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT before you decide to accuse somebody for
no reason.
The pictures WERE attached to the previous email I sent to you.
I just checked. It is not my fault if you use computers that are
so old fashioned and useless. I have attached them AGAIN to this
email in a different manner.
I await your apology IMMEDIATELY.
Rodney Trotter
General Sales Manager
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 18, 2006
Subject: Rodney Trotter, I Apologise/ From Williams Smith
DEAR MR. RODNEY TROTTER,
I REALLY APOLOGISE FOR THAT WORD "FRAUD" I DID NOT MEAN
IT THE WAY YOU UNDERSTOOD IT..OK, BECAUSE WHAT MR.ROY SLATER TOLD
THAT THE BOARD MEMBERS HAVE NOW MET AND DECIDED THE DONATION AMOUNT
TO BE AWARDED TO THE ARTIST, AND THAT THERE IS LIITLE POINT IN HIM
GIVING ME THE FINAL SUM BECAUSE OF THE DISPUTE OVER THE SHIPPING
FEE, THEN , I TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD GO AHEAD AND PAY THE 82$,FOR
THE SHIPPMENT COST, AND TELL ME THE AMOUNT FOR THE ART WORK, AND
THAT LET ME BEAR THE LOSS SINCE I DID NOT HAVE THE RECORDS OF THE
EXPENSES MADE AS AT THE TIME OF SHIPPMENT, THAT THE NEXT CONSIGNMENT,
I WILL KEEP RECORDS OF ALL EXPENDITURES MADE, SO I WAS EXPECTING
HIM TO TELL ME THE AMOUNT OR HE WOULD HAVE INFORMED ABOUT THE SALES
OF THE ART WORK AT THE EARLIST, SO THAT I WILL BE COMMUNICATING
WITHOUT MISTAKE, SO WHEN I SAW YOUR MAIL, I WAS A KIND OF CONFUSED.
I AM SORRY, IF THAT WORD "FRAUD" HURTS YOU.
ONCE AGAIN, I SAID AM REALLY APOLOGISE FOR THAT FOUR LETTERS WORD
"FRAUD" SORRY IF IT HURTS YOU, BUT I DID NOT MEAN IT THAT
WAY, AND YOU ALSO HAVE TO APOLOGISE FOR REFERING ME AS AN IDIOT,
BECAUSE I DID NOT EXPECT SUCH WORD FROM A HONEST AND GENTLEMAN LIKE
YOU.
I RECEIVED THE ATTACHED RECEIPT OF THE SALES OF THE ART WORK AND
MR.STANLEY AKAGBUSI THE ARTISTAN, IS VERY VERY GREATFUL AND HAVE
PASS HIS GREETINGS TO YOU AND THE ENTIRE STAFFS OF TROTTERS FINE
ARTS.
I AM REALY GREATFUL AND WILL BE THE HAPPIEST TO CONTINUE A GOOD
BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COMPANY.{LEST I FORGET}, HOW IS
MR.DEREK'S HEALTH CONDITION, I HOPE ALL IS WELL? TO GO BE THE GLORY.I
SENT A TEXT MESSAGE YESTERDAY VIA HIS PHONE AND I DID HOPE HE RECEIVED
IT.
ONCE AGAIN, I APOLOGISE. THANKING YOU FOR YOUR ESTEEMED UNDERSTANDING
AND GOD BLESS. I AWAIT FOR THE CONFIRMATION OF THE PAYMENT.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MR.WILLIAMS SMITH.
I didn't reply and the next morning Williams decided he's better
do some more grovelling.
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 19, 2006
Subject: letter of apology
SIR,
INVIEW OF WHAT HAPPENED ON THE DATE OF 18/2/2006 ON THE ISSUE OF
"FRAUD", I HEEREBY FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING TALKED TO YOU
THE WAY I DID.
PLEASE SIR, MY BEHAVIOUR THAT DAY WAS OUT OF ANNOYANCE AND ANGER,
AS I AM NOT AWARE OF DUE PROCESS PAYMENT IN YOUR COMPANY.
I HEEREBY TENDER ONCE AGAIN AND APOLOGY AND ASK FOR YOUR PARDON
AS I PROMISE NOT TO REPEAT SUCH WORD NEXT TIME.
EXTEND MY HEARTY GREETINGS TO MY GOOD FRIEND MR. DEREK TROTTER AND
I DO HOPE, HE IS GETTING ALL WELL. KINDEST REGARDS FROM MR. STANLEY
NNAMDI AKAGBUSI, THE ARTISTAN, AND MY FAMILY AND I
THANKS,
FAITHFULLY YOURS,
MR. WILLIAMS SMITH.
From: Rodney Trotter
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 20, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
Are you trying your best to insult and humiliate me?
Why are you asking about the health of my dear brother Derek when
you were told by email nearly two days ago that he died of his injuries
in hospital? Are you intentionally trying to hurt and disrespect
me? Mr. Roy Slater told me that he informed you of my brother's
death in an email to you on the 16th of February, and now you are
asking about his health? What a horrible thing to do to a fellow
human being.
I am not sure if I should now authorise the board to refuse your
donation payment because of your show of disrespect to me. I can
only assume that you did not read or receive Mr. Slater's email
to you of February 16th. I have attached a small clipping from our
local newspaper that ran the story of my brother's demise.
I will have to think very carefully about how to proceed with you
now Mr. Williams.
Rodney Trotter
General Sales Manager
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
I attached a newspaper clipping of my brother's unfortunate
death:
.jpg)
Click to open in new window
Looks like I got away with the newspaper clipping. I didn't
really think I would!
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 20, 2006
Subject: I AM SORRY FOR MR. DEREK'S DEATH/ COMPLY.
MR. RODNEY,
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DEATH OF YOUR BORTHER MR. DEREK TROTTER, Are
you trying your best to insult and humiliate me? STOP IT. Iam a
human being and how could i hear such kind of painful news and have
refused to sympathise with you, Do you know how many times i sent
a get well text message to MR.DEREK? MY FRIEND, I AM OF AGED 52YRS
AND CAME FROM A CHRISTIAN HOME..OK
You said, Mr. Roy Slater told me that he informed me of my brother's
death in an email to you on the 16th of February, MY FRIEND, I WAS
NOT INFORMED BY ROY SLATER ABOUT YOUR BROTHER'S DEATH OR IN ANY
WAY THAT MR. DEREK TROTTER'S CONDITION IS CRITICALY BAD OR HAVE
YOU IN ANY WAY TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR BROTHER'S DEATH MR. DEREK, SINCE
YOUR COMMUNICATIONS WITH ME, YOU TOLD ME THAT MR. DEREK TROTTER
IS YOUR BROTHER..OK. PLEASE CO-OPERATE WITH ME.
NOW, SEE BELOW MR. SLATER'S EMAIL OF Thu, 16 Feb 2006 16:01:03 -0000
TO ME AND GO THROUG IT IF THERE A IS PARAGRAPH THAT CONTAINED ABOUT
THE DEATH OF MR.DEREK TROTTER?
THANKS AND CO-OPERATE WITH ME.
MR. WILLIAMS.
From: Rodney Trotter
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 20, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams,
I asked my secretary to check with Mr. Slater to ask if he did
indeed send you the information about my brother's death. According
to him he did indeed tell you about it. I am not sure who to believe.
I do not have enough evidence at hand to make a qualified opinion.
You seem quite apologetic so I will give you the benefit of the
doubt and have Mr. Slater shot at dawn.
I shall instruct the board members to contact you regarding your
award amount. The head of the board members is Mr. Larry David.
I would advise you to curb your enthusiasm when communicating with
him as he is very strict and businesslike. He is a very fair man
but has no time for for niceties. You will be contacted by him shortly
after I have spoken with him, which should hopefully be later this
evening.
I have to leave to visit my younger brother in Singapore tomorrow
to make the funeral arrangements, so Mr. David will complete the
donation procedure on my behalf.
Rodney Trotter
General Sales Manager
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 20, 2006
Subject: Re: I AM SORRY FOR MR. DEREK'S DEATH/ COMPLY.
MR. RODNEY,
GOOD DAY. I AM STILL VERY SHOCK AND SYMPATHIC ABOUT MR. DEREK,S
DEATH, IF I EVER HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT HIS DEATH BY MR. SLATER UPTILL
TODAY 20/2/2006 YOU WERE TELLING ME AND NEVER CARE, I THINK I WILL
BE THE MOST WICKED PERSON ON EARTH COMPARE WITH SATAN.
I AND MR. DEREK STARTED THIS TRANSACTION IN A VERY PEACEFUL WAY
AND I KNOW AFTER HIM, YOU WILL CONTINUE FROM WHER HE STOPPED AND
I ASSURED YOU THAT THE SKY WILL BE BLUE FOR US IF CONTINUE IN THE
SAME WAY I STARTED WITH YOUR BROTHER MR.DEREK.
I REMEMBERED VIVIDLY THAT MR. DEREK'S TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD HASTEN
UP THE ART WORK, SO THAT HE WILL ARRANGE MY PAYMENT BEFORE HE TRAVEL
TO SINGAPORE BY 26/2/2006, OH DEATH. VERY SORRY.
HOWEVER, I AWAIT FOR MR.LARRY DAVID'S MAIL. AND THE PAYMENT PROCEDURE.
MR. STANLEY NNAMDI AKAGBUSI, THE ARTISTAN AND MY FAMILY SEND THEIR
SYPATHIC GREETINGS TO YOUR FAMILY AND THE ENTIRE STAFFS OF DEREK
TROTTER ARTFOR THE BIG LOSS.
HAVE A NICE DAY AND GOD BLESS,
MR WILLIAMS SMITH
As promised, Larry David contacts Williams to finally put him
out of his misery, and reveal his award amount.
From: Larry David
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 21, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams esq.
I believe that my colleague Rodney Trotter informed you that I
would be contacting you today to facilitate the transfer of your
artists award amount. My name is Larry David and I am the head of
the donation/scholarship board here at Trotters Fine Arts.
I am told that you have been left waiting for quite some time for
your award amount to be revealed to you and transferred. Of course
as you will hopefully understand the very recent tragic events here
have caused some delay in processing donation payments. Please understand
that you are not the only person who has been affected by this delay.
There are seventeen other artists from all over the world who have
also been kept waiting.
Mr. Slater passed over your payment details before the shooting
this morning. The details were as follows:
Payment Recipient: Mr. Stanley Nnamdi Akagbusi
Location: Lagos, Nigeria.
I am happy to inform you that the payment to Mr. Akagbusi was made
earlier this morning, and attached you will find a scan of the Western
Union payment receipt. Please keep this for your internal records.
Full details of the payment are as follows:
Pay to: Mr. Stanley Nnamdi Akagbusi
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Payment Currency: United States Dollars
Payment amount: $6.42 (Six Dollars Forty-Two Cents)
Exchange rate Fixed: Yes
Sender: Mr. Larry David
Sender Address: D.T.F.A. HQ, 32 Krotchless Way, Peckham, London.
PH1 3TY. UK.
Secret Question: What a?
Question Answer: Plonker
Please send our regards to Mr. Akagbusi and inform him that we
may contact him in the near future to discuss purchasing other work
from him.
Yours,
Larry David
Scholarship Board
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
I attach the Western Union receipt
I hope Williams isn't disappointed with the award amount!
Williams is unimpressed by the payment amount, but seems to
be keeping his cool.
From: Williams Smith
To: Rodney Trotter
Date: February 22, 2006
Subject: CO-OPERATE WITH ME.
HELLO MR. RODNEY,
I WRITE TO INFORM YOU THAT MR. LARRY DAVID SENT $6.42CENT AND WHAT
ABOUT THE SHIPPMENT FEE, I THINK THAT SHIPPMENT FEE IS VERY VERY
IMPORTANT, MR. STANLEY THE ARTISTAN, IS NOT GETTING IT ALL WELL
WITH ME AND HAS PROMISED TO GO TO ANY LENGHT INOTHER TO RECEIVE
HIS HARD WORK AMOUNT FROM ME. PLEASE DO SEND ME THE SHIPPMENT FEE
WHICH IS $82 DOLLARS, SO THAT I WILL KNOW HOW TO BORROW MONEY AND
PAY MR. STANLEY FOR THE AMOUNT HE BILLED ME FOR THE ART-WORK. NOTE,
YOUR $6.42CENT, IS STILL UNCLAIMED.
I AWAIT FOR THE PAYMENT OF THE SHIPPMENT FEE OF $82 DOLLARS NOW.
THANKS,
MR. WILLIAMS.
Rodney Trotter is of course unavailable, having left for Singapore.
From: Rodney Trotter
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 22, 2006
Subject: *** AUTOMATED AWAY MESSAGE- PLEASE DO NOT REPLY
***
>>> This is an automated message - please do not reply
<<<
Dear Sir or Madam.
Thank you for your email to me.
Unfortunately I am currently unavailable until February 27th as
I am in Singapore.
If your request is urgent please contact our head office information
department.
Sincerely,
Rodney Trotter
>>> This is an automated message - please do not reply
<<<
The next morning, Larry David, unaware of Williams disappointment,
sends another message.
From: Larry David
To: Williams Smith
Date: February 23, 2006
Dear Mr. Williams esq.
Please complete the attached questionnaire.
Sincerely,
Larry David
Scholarship Board
Trotters Fine Arts
www.deltrotter.co.uk
I attach the questionnaire:
I wonder if he will complete it to my satisfaction?!
Well I'm afraid to announce that the above questionnaire was
the last straw for Williams. He came to his senses and busted me!
I won't go into too much detail about our last few emails, however
here is a flavour of some of his replies to me:
From: Williams Smith
Date: March 3, 2006
Subject: You are just a beginner
HELLO,
DOES ALL THESE SINK INTO THE THING YOU CALL YOUR BRAIN? I THINK
YOU ARE JUST A BEGINNER.IT IS BETTER YOU SEND THE MONEY FOR THE
ART WORK AND THE SHIPPMENT COST OR YOU WILL COMMITT SUICIDE WITHIN
THIS SHORT PEROID, IF YOU DOUBT ME, THEN FAIL NOT TO SEND THE WHOLE
FUNDS.
IF YOU LIKE, WRITE 1MILLION MAILS TO ME FROM DIFFRENT ANGELS
WITH DIFFRENT NAMES, I HAVE TOLD YOU, EITHER YOU SEND THE FUNDS
FOR THE ART WORK AND THE SHIPPMENT COST OR ELSE YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE
SUICIDE THIS SHORT PEROID.
IT IS CERTAIN THAT YOU WILL SURELY COMMIT SUICIDE, COME RAIN
COME SUNSHINE.....YOU HOLLIGAN..
GO AND MARK IT, YOUR DEATH, YOUR FUNERAL..YOU HOMESEXUALIST...YOUR
ENTIRE HOME WILL BE LIKE THE DAYS OF SODOM AND GOMORAH THE CITY
THAT WAS DESTORYED BY THE ALMIGHTY GOD.
YOU WOULD HAVE CONTINUED IF YOU HAVE THE LEVER TO RUN THE OUTFIT.
MAYBE I WOULD HAVE CONNECT YOU TO A BIGGER DEAL WITH SOME OF EUROPEN
CLIENTS....BUT SEE HOW UNLUCKY YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU DONT NOW HOW
TO PROSECUTE YOUR JOB, YOU BRAINLESS DULL....
As you can see, Williams may just have twigged I was baiting
him, and it looks like suicide is the only option for me now. I
did reply to his last email but I think he's had enough of me -
as I write on 17th March he has never bothered to reply to me.
Case closed.....
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