TITLE: Wanted: Dead or Dead A change from the usual 419 type scam now. Here we have a scammer selling non existant puppies.
From: Tommy Mark my is clement i am from barrytown(new york) but due to work presntly i was just been transfered about couple of days for a missionary purpose in west africa.right now i am still located in republic of benin where am carrying out my missionary assignment and due to tight assignment i found myself i don't have much time to take good care of my puppy like i use to,and so also the environment that the puppy found her self here in republic of benin is too harsh. therefore have decided to give out the puppy to a good caring person that would treat my puppy with a tender care and a well family interraction. the puppy is well breed and the puppy has a current vaccination,vet exams,health certificate and 1year guarantee.the puppy has potty trained,home raise and socialized for tremendious attitude.well and excellent temparamented.the puppy has super trainability and people pleasing personality.the puppy is given a high learning a delight elegance of structure and well dewormed.the dog has C.K.C,A.K.C and F.C.I Registered.am offering the puppy out at $650 each one including the shipment.and i have attack the pics of my puppy, and i will like to attach the pic of mine self. i will like to hear from you as soon as possible.Thanks AND GOD BLESS. Tommy attaches (or should that be attack?!) photos of his puppy, obviously ripped from some internet site. Note that these picture are actual size:
I express an interest in Tommy's puppies, but not in the way he thinks. From: Arthur Dent How much will it cost for you to kill the puppies and send the fresh meat to me?
From: Tommy Mark THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I DO NOT KILL PUPPY I ONLY SELL DUE TO I ON A TRANSFER LIVE OUTSIDE UNITED STATE THAT IS WHY I WANT TO SELL OUT MINE PET FOR A CHRISTIAN PERSON THAT WILL TAKE HER AS A DAUGHTER SO ARE YOU WILLING TO BUY A LIVING PUPPY? THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS.
From: Arthur Dent I only deal in dead dogs, sorry. It costs more to import them alive.
Seems that Tommy can supply dog meat after all. What a surprise! From: Tommy Mark THANKS FOR THAT WE HAVE DOG MEAT AND THEY ARE READLY FOR SALE BUT I CAN STILL TELL YOU FLLOW WORKER THAT I HAVE SEE THE PERSON THAT IS READLY TO BUY THE MEAT BUT UT IS TOO COSTLY AND IT CAN BE SHIPPED TO YOU COUNTRY THAT IS IF YOU ARE WILL WILLING TO PAY FOR IT. RERPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED
From: Arthur Dent Do you have dealers who also specialise in Mogwai meat? I recently lost my usual supplier and am in desperate need of a new and reliable supplier. Typically for good quality imported Mogwai meat my company pay $2,700 per kilo (that is for the smoked Mogwai meat). I would be very interested in importing regular supplies if you are able to arrange this.
It seems Mogwai meat is definitely on the menu. From: Tommy Mark Yes i have a dealer who specialised in Mogwai meat,i spoke to him concerning supplying your company as you request.He export the smoke and unsmoke mogwai meat at the rate of $2,550 per kilos. He has different kind of meats he export to its customers. Reply as soon as possible Thanks and God Bless.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Clement,
From: Tommy Mark thanks for your mail, sorry for replying your mail late.I went to femmard fod company to verity something from them and i gave them ypur information concerning mogwai meat,They did a medical checkup of the mogwai meat in order for me ,to know how good their foods are.And i was conrincd about their stuff.They are the one who will send you those certificateof exportation. so here is the company email address(xxxfoodsupplies@xxxmail.com) to hear from you soon thanks and remain blessed.
Before I even contact Tommy's recommended company, they get in touch with me. Apparently his "certificate" is in the form of a couple of sentences in an email! Actually as you'll see, Tommy's company contact is actually Tommy himself. No two people could produce written language so badly! From: Lewis Seth REPUBLIC OF BENIN EXPORT COMMISSION DATE 29TH MAY 2000 DEAR CUTOMER THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT FEMMARD FOOD HAS BEEN REGISTERED AS A LIVESTOCK EXPOTER UNDER DECREE 202 OR THR REPUBLIC OF BENIN CONSTITUTION. NATURE OF OPRATION-EXPOTER(LIVESTOCK) THIS IS THE ONLY FORM OF CERTIFICATE ISSUED BE REPUBLIC OF BENIN COMMISSION. THIS IS THE ONLY CERTIFICATE THAT ANY BUYER OF LIVESTOCK CAN BE ISSUED WHEN BUYING FROM US IN R/BENIN. FAMMARD
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
From: Lewis Seth HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL BACK SOON YOU RECEIVE THESE MESSAGE. THERE IS NO PROMBLE WE DEAL IN BOTH LIVESTOCK AND DEADSTOCK,AND WE SHIPPED ALL OVER THE WORLD IF YOU WNAT TO BUY DEADSTOCK FROM US THAT IS OKAY AND WE WILL LIKE TO BE ONE OF OUR CUTOMER AND WE ARE TELLING YOU THAT FOR YOU FIRST ORDER WE ARE ONE THAT WILL SHIP IT TO YOUR COUNTRY DIRECT WITHOUT ANY PROMBLE BECAUSE WE HAVE DO THESE BUSINESS WITH MANY COUNTRY LIKE TURKEY,USA,CANADA.SPAIN,ITALY,JAPAN,HOLLAND AND SO MUCH COUNTRIES LIKE THAT AND WILL WE WANT YOU TO BE WITH US AT ALL TIME SO THAT YOU CAN GAIN MORE WITH US. THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
From: Lewis Seth hello i will like to know thetype of cetificate they need in your country so that i can ship whose meat to you in your country, to hear from you soon.
I send Lewis a sample of a deadstock importation certificate. From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
Tommy Mark gets in touch. He's obviously been "talking" with Lewis! From: Tommy Mark HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALL THE INFORMATION THAT YOU NEED FOR THE IMPORTATION AND EXPORTATION AND CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT THAT WILL PROVE THAT THE PUPPY MEAT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION,BUT AS YOUR HAVE ALREADLY KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU THAT I NOT A CITIZEN OF BENIN REPUBLIC I AMHERE ON A MISSIONARY OUTREACH.THEY HAVE GIVING ME SOME CERTIFICATE BECAUSE ALL THE PUPPY KILL HAS BEEN TEST AND THEY ARE ALL OKAY, PLS I WILL NEED YOUR REAL FULL NAME TO FILL UP SOME DOCUMENT SO THAT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU FOR SO THAT IT CAN BE CONFIRMED,I WILL LIKE TO TO SEND ME SOME MONEY AT LIST $5,000 TO $10,000 SO THAT ALL CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT CAN BE WELL DONE AND OKAY,IT IS DUE TO I AM A FOREIGN IN THESE COUNTRY (BENIN REPUBLIC). IF YOU CAN BE ABLE TO SEND ME THE MONEY BY THE NEXT 2DAYS ALL THE CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT WILL BE SEND TO YOU SO AS WELL FOR CONFIRMATIONFROM YOU. THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND GOD BLESS.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
From: Lewis Seth Hello sorry for the delay in responses,thanks for the sample of the certificate,what our company need from you is your the contact address and information of your organisation and the phone number for easy conversation.the mogwai meat is medical tested and its okay for human consumption.Get to our company as soon as possible. PHONE NUMBER...............................
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
A few days later it appears my certificate are ready. From: Lewis Seth HELLO ALL THE CERTIFICATE YOU NEED IS READLY PLS REPLY ME BACK.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
Lewis seems to think he's getting payment up front. What a deranged fellow he is. From: Lewis Seth HELLO WE ARE THE ONE THAT CALL YOU JUST TO TELL YOU THAT ALL THE ARRANGEMENNT HAS BEEN READLY,WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO CONFIRM THAT THE MONEY FOR YOUR BUYING OF THE MEAT IS READLY SO THAT I CAN SHIP IT TO YOUR COUNTRY BUT WE ARE SORRY THAT WE WILL ONLY SELL OUT 70KIO FOR YOU JUST FOR STARTING SO IT WILL BE EASY FOR US TO DO MORE BUSINESS NEXT TIME. FOR THE PAYMENT WILL LIKE TO SEND IT THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, SO THAT YOUR GOODS CAN BE SHIP TO YOUR COUNTRY. THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Sir,
A week goes by and eventually Lewis gets back in touch. I suspect he thinks I may have forgotten about the certificates? Lewis is obviously mentally retarded. From: Lewis Seth hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send it in. RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
WARNING: Bad language alert! From: Arthur Dent I AM STILL WAITING TO SEE THE FUCKING IMPORT PAPERS YOU MORON. ARE YOU READING MY FUCKING EMAILS??????
Just as I send the above email. My phone rings: March 18, 2006: Lewis Seth (and I presume Tommy Mark) - 1meg MP3 The guys got frustrated (as did I), putting the phone down on me twice!
Incredibly, after the call above, and after they have received my previous email, I received an exact copy of their last email. From: Lewis Seth hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send it in. RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
I decide to give a short and sweet answer. From: Arthur Dent FUCK OFF.
Quite a few days went by and I thought I'd heard the last from Tommy and Lewis, but then: From: Tommy Mark hello i am sorry the meg is not met for you, i will soonxet send you the ceritficate.
Looks like this bait is going nowhere. From: Arthur Dent Am I wasting my time with you or do you REALLY have meat I can purchase? If you do not have it then just say so instead of keeping me waiting. I have the full payment here of $42,744 ready to send but it seems you do not want it
From: Tommy Mark hello thanks for your mail i have dog meat only but the problem is that i have know money that i will pay to the republice of benin in africa before they can give me the importation ceritifcate so if you have any idea to give that is okay by me ,thanks and God bless.
From: Arthur Dent NO. You will not get one single penny from me until I have the importation certificates. Arthur Dent
From: Tommy Mark hello do not worry i will get the certificate ready by the next 7 days from now.
Nine days go by and nothing to show for it. I decide to contact Tommy Mark's alter-ego, Lewis Seth. From: Arthur Dent You partner told me more than a week ago now that you would have the certificates ready to send to me, however once again you have both failed to live up to your promises. Am I to assume that you have both been lying to me all this time?
Amazingly, Lewis sends ANOTHER request for payment! From: Lewis Seth hello i will like you to send me the sum of $242250 of 95 kilos money of the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou
From: Arthur Dent Mr. Seth, Are you completely BRAINLESS?
Over a week goes by and no reply from Seth. I guess he has got fed up of the abuse! Lets try to smoke him out by pretending we have sent some money to him. From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, Payment has now been sent so that maybe I will at last get this meat.
The smell of money brings Seth out. From: Lewis Seth HELLO ARE SURE THAT YOU SEND THE MONEY BEFORE I WILL GO AND COMFIMED SO IF YOU HAVE SEND IT BEFORE 3 TO 4 DAYS WE ARE GOING TO SHIP IT TO YOU AND WE WILL NEED YOU TO SEND US YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS, CITY,STATE NEARTEST AIRPORT SO THAT WE CAN BE ABLE TO SHIP IT TO YOU. THANKS FEMMARD FOOD SUPPIES COMPANY.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, I have put the payment on hold until I receive the export certificates you promised to me weeks ago. When I receive that then I shall authorise western union to free the payment to you. Arthur Dent
From: Lewis Seth HELLO ARTHUR DENT pls we are sorry for sending you a method of payment while we have not send you the export certificate it is due to some internet fraud but for now we are ready to do business with your company, that money you send was not confrimed as there is no money in it, but that is not our force for now we do not open our compamy every saturday and sunday and you know that nextday to us is weekend by monday to friday we will send you the export certificate,plsase bear with us. Thanks I won't be holding my breath Seth.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, The reason that the payment is not confirmed is because I have put the payment on hold until I receive the certificates that you promised to me weeks ago. I shall await the arrival of the certificates on Monday and once I have them in my possession I shall then clear the payment.
Hurrah! The certificate finally arrives. Are you all excited? I hope not! From: Lewis Seth hello this is the certificate of exportation.so we will like you so send the money so that i can ship the mogwai meats to you. The certificate (actual size):
Totally unacceptable, I think you will agree.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, Do you want me to send you this money or not? If you want the money THEN SEND A PROPER SIZED IMAGE. You will not get a penny until I have a LARGE, CLEAR image of the certificate. Arthur Dent
From: Lewis Seth hello these is the certificate in the proper size so i will like to hear from you soonext. Lewis gets the size right, but......
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, Deadstock certificates are valid for 6 weeks only. Your certificate is dated 2005 which makes it over a year out of date. Arthur Dent
From: Lewis Seth hello That do you mean by the certificate is dated 2005 which makes it over a year out of date.That certificate was giving to us then are just about start to export to others country but now we can ship to any country in these world with that certificate, so i will like to hear from you soonxet.
From: Arthur Dent Dear Mr. Seth, The date on the certificate is February 2005. Did you know that we are now in May 2006 (TWO THOUSAND AND SIX)? Arthur Dent
From: Lewis Seth hello it is noy useless so for the shipping i will tahe care of it, pls if you will like to buy it froom us okay to hear from you soon.
From: Arthur Dent No. We do bit buy food that IS NOT PROPERLY CERTIFIED. Arthur Dent
To be continued...? Sadly not. This particular pair of idiots never did get back to me, which is a great pity as they were definitely comedy gold, and I was so looking forward to more sparkling telephone conversation. END.
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