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Title: DOUBLE TAKE
** PAGE TWO **
From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, My secretary has contacted me to tell me that you telephoned me today and left a message for me. I am sorry that I was not in my office to receive your call, I am currently in Scotland on business. My brother-in-law (Mr. Hoots Mon) runs a Haggis breeding farm and we are trying to complete a business deal to sell our Haggis to a large security firm to use as guard Haggis. Anyway, my apologies again and I will try to be home the next time you call. I am awaiting to instructions on how to proceed. Sincerely, D'arth Vader.
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, I hope this correspondence meets you in good health. Thank you for providing the required details we need to begin this laudable transaction. The information you have provided will enable us update the
file of late Engr. Steve Moore in the bank and include you as a
relative who is qualified to be a next of kin. However in order
for you to be recognized as the next of kin of late Engr. Steve
Moore by the bank, you will need a letter of administration from
the high court which will empower you to administer the In order to process the letter of administration, you will need a probate attorney to help you file the necessary papers. I have already instructed a colleague of mine to help me look for a good probate attorney who I shall introduce to you to help you secure the letter of administration. As soon as the letter of administration is secured from the high court, I shall use my influence in the bank to get the approval required for the transferr of the funds to your nominated bank account. Although in due course I shall make available to you the death certificate of late Engr. Steve Moore and his bank statement to aid you in in the process of securing the letter of administration. Do endeavour to call me as soon as you receive this mail on my telephone number: 234-1-776-0541. While I expect to be in touch with you later and also wishing you a happyweekend, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, I hope this mail meets you in good health. I just wrote to find out from you if you received my mail of yesterday. Hopefully by tomorrow or wednesday i will get back to you with details of a good probate attorney that will assist you secure the letter of administration to late Mr. Moore's estate. Are you still in scotland? when are likely to be back from your trip please let me know. I await to hear from you till then , my regards to you. Regards, Nelson
Nelson sends me a nice voicemail, yet again quoting
the password phrase Nelson Coakley Voicemail. Received 24/11/03. Click HERE to listen (64k/40 seconds).
From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, Thank you for your email, and I can confirm that I received it, as well as your email of the 23rd of November. I look forward to receiving the attorney's details. I am still in Scotland, but I have my laptop with me and always have access to my email. Sincerely, D'arth.
Guess what?! Nelson sends me yet another
voicemail, yet again quoting the password phrase. Apparently "I"
telephoned him but missed him. I did no such thing Nelson Coakley Voicemail. Received 25/11/03. Click HERE to listen (65k/40 seconds).
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, I hope this correspondence meets you in good health. I was told you called by my personal secretary [LIAR!]. I tried calling you but your phone was on voice mail and I dropped a message. Please do call me as soon as you receive this mail so that we can discuss the modalities of bringing this transaction to fruition. While I expect your call and also wishing you a nice day, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson
From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, Thank you for your email. I am still in Scotland attending to the Haggis with my brother Hoots Mon, but as I mentioned previously I am always available via email my laptop. I do have my mobile phone with me but unfortunately in the part of Scotland where I am (Majorca) the reception is extremely poor. Please forward me the details on how to proceed. Sincerely, D'arth.
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, Thanks for your mail. Sequel to my last email correspondence to you, I wish to inform you that I have found a good probate attorney who can help you secure the required letter of administration necessary for submission to the bank so that approvals can be given for the transfer of the funds to your account. The name of the lawyer is Eliza Agbakobia Esq. Please contact him directly on his email address : [email protected] Find below is a specimen copy of the letter of instruction you are to write to the probate attorney. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sir, You came highly recommended by an associate of mine and I would like you to represent me some probate matters in Nigeria. It was of late that I heard of the sudden death of my late uncle who died alongside his immediate family in a plane crash. He left behind the sum of $35,500.000.00 in Zenith International bank and he also died interstate i.e without leaving a will behind. Please advise me on how I can administer his estate and at the same time take custody of the funds left behind. I shall await your prompt response. Yours Sincerely, D'arth Vader. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be rest assured that we have all the required documents in the file of Late Engr. Steve Moore (Snr) to ensure that you secure the necessary letter of administration from the Lagos state high court and consequently obtain approvals fro the transfer of the funds to your nominated bank account. Always keep me abreast of your correspondence with the attorney and call me on my number after you have contacted the probate attorney. While I expect your prompt compliance, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson
[OK, so I contact 'the attorney'] From: D'arth Vader Dear Sir, [OK, so the attorney is a woman, so what?!] You came highly recommended by an associate of mine and I would like you to represent me some probate matters in Nigeria. It was of late that I heard of the sudden death of my late uncle who died alongside his immediate family in a plane crash. He left behind the sum of $35,500.000.00 in Zenith International bank and he also died interstate i.e. without leaving a will behind. Please advise me on how I can administer his estate and at the same time take custody of the funds left behind. I shall await your prompt response. Yours Sincerely, D'arth Vader. [I advise Nelson that the attorney has been contacted]
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, I hope this correspondence meets you in good health. After reading your mail of yesterday, I tried calling you but your phone lines are not going through, I also tried sending you a fax but I could not get through as well are your lines faulty? Please let me have an alternative number or your cell number
with which to While I expect your prompt response, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson. [I duly ignore Nelson's email. Always nice to make em sweat]
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr . VVader, I hope this correspondence meets you in good health. I am worried about you as I have not heard from you since my last mail informing you about the probate attorney. Have you contacted the probate attorney yet? please let me know and also let me know the outcome of your contact with the probate attorney. While I await your prompt response and also wishing you a nice day, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson.
[This is dragging on a bit now. Time to try to speed things up] From: D'arth Vader Dear Mr. Coakley, I must apologise for my lateness in reply but I have been very busy here in Scotland. If there is any way that we can speed this business up without wasting too much time please tell me. I do not have a lot of spare time for other matters. My business is the most important thing for me at the moment and to keep having to communicate with different people all the time is very distracting. Please tell the attorney to get to the point. I am not very patient with such matters. Sincerely, D'arth.
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, I hope this correspondence meets you in good health. Having
read through your mail, I made contacts with the attorney to find
out what was going on. He informed me that he had requested from
you the death certificate and bank statement of late Engr. Steve
Moore so that he can do his legal investigations before briefing
you on how he can secure the letter of I must let you know that the attorney is not our partner in this transaction hence we have to follow his instructions so that he can do a professional job for you. I had earlier introduced myself to the attorney as your family friend hence you have to write a mail to lawyer informing him that you will send him the requested documents through your family friend tomorrow morning. Before submitting the documents to the lawyer, I shall make scanned copies of the death certificate and bank statement which I shall send to you for your perusal and records. I know you are a very busy man but you should please find time to respond to my correspondence on time and also keep me abreast of the correspondence you receive from the attorney because the lawyer will be dealing with you directly. Please note that this is a transaction in which we are not expected to spend more than necessary time as a result we have to make sure that we get the funds transferred to your account before the bank closes for the year. While I expect to be in touch with you later and also wishing you a nice day, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson NB: Please let me have a telephone number or cell number with which to call you.
[Lets try for a amusing phone message] From: D'arth Vader Dear nelson, Thank you for your email. I shall await the document from you. I am pleased to tell you that I am not back from my trip to Majorca in Scotland. I have left my brother, Hoots Mon in charge of dealing with the selling of the Haggis to the security company. You may if you wish call me on my telephone number which I have given to you previously. I have to do some contract signing for the next few days. As you know my company, Dark Side Industries PLC manufactures "THE FORCE" super glue, and we have had interest from a number of other companies to develop special glue formulas for them. One large company, Glass Hammers Ltd, have requested that we manufacture fireproof latex glue for their chocolate fireguard protectors, and this deal alone is worth $7.2 million Dollars a year should we be successful, so I hope you can appreciate that I may be quite busy. Again, if I am unable to receive your call you may leave a message on my answer service. I will do my very best to answer you call ASAP as I know it is important that we speak soon. Please note that the password phrase has now been changes. If you need to leave a message you need to quote the new password phrase which is "EYE REALLY YAM A MOO GOO". Thank you once again Nelson. D'arth.
[The attorney gets back to me] From: Eliza Agbakobia Esq Attn: D'arth Vader, Dear Sir, This is to acknowledge the receipt of the death certificate and bank certificate of your late uncle Engr. Steve Moore Snr which was submitted on your behalf by your family friend Mr. Nelson Coakley. With the receipt of these documents we shall commence our legal investigations and before the close of work today we shall inform you of our findings. We remain obliged in providing you the best legal representation. Yours Faithfully, Eliza Agbakobia Esq [I've already told Nelson I'm not interested in dealing with other people, so I ignore the attorney]
From: nelson coakley Dear Mr. Vader, Thanks for your mail. Sequel to my last correspondence to you, I have already submitted to the lawyer the documents which he asked for. Find attached to this mail are the scanned copies of the documents for your perusal and records. Please always endeavor to keep me abreast of any correspondence you receive from the attorney. While I expect to hear from you, my warm regards to you and your family. Regards, Nelson [Nelson attaches some nice forged documents]
[I'm suitably unimpressed, so no need to go overboard with my reply] From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, Thank you for your email and attached documents. Sincerely, D'arth.
[At long last, I get the inevitable email asking for 'investigation fees'] From: Eliza Agbakobia Esq Attn: D'arth Vader Dear Sir, In pursuant to the probate matters of your late uncle Engr.
Steve Moore Snr,We embark on an extensive Investigation of your
Late Uncle's Estate and proffer to inform you that we have made
our verifications with the Probate Registry to ascertain if your
late uncle has a Will that is kept with the Probate Registry. We
are sorry to inform you that we are unable to From our preliminary investigation, you have a genuine claim as my law firm has been able to establish your inheritance claim with the Zenith International Bank. Be it as it may, It will please you to know, that We have concluded our verification as regards your claim to an inheritance of US$30,000,000,00. Our investigation revealed, that there is indeed a deposited sum of the same mentioned amount in the name of Engr. Steve Moore with Zenith International Bank, with office at Lagos, Nigeria. The amount has been deposited since the year 1998 By one Engr. Steve Moore (now deceased). It will also Please you to know that the amount in question, have yielded a lot Of interest on the Principal. As at September 2000 it has generated an interest of close to USD5.5M. making a total sum of USD 35.5M. Also we found out that an additional interest of USD has also been generated on the principal sum of USD30M as at September 2002. Thus the total sum in the account right now is USD41M.(Forty One Million Dollars) [Good news!] When I filed papers to verify the state of the Account,the Chief
Accountant in charge of the Deposit Department told me that they
were only waiting for the end of the present fiscal year before
they will declare the Account as an unclaimed Account, and then
send the money to Government treasury. According to him The Chief
Accountant was very pleased to know that the Next Of Kin has now
decided to come forward for the claim. I strongly think that I should
say that you are Our Law Office will need the sum of USD15,420. (Fifteen Thousand
Four Hundred and twenty United States Dollars) to file all the necessary
papers to ensure that the funds(inheritance claim) gets transferred
into your nominated account within the But before then, you will need to forward me with The following-: (1). A Power of Attorney authorizing me to act on your behalf in respect of the inheritance claim.This Power Of Attorney shall be prepared by our office once we receive evidence of payment of the processing fees.We shall send you the prepared Power Of Attorney for your signature once we receive payment of the Processing Fees. (2).Your Nationality---Age----Sex----Religion----occupation and marital status. If married, state name of your spouse.If you have children, please do state their names-age and sex. The break down of the Processing fees of US$15,420 Is as follows-: (1). Application Forms from Probate Registry-----US$900 Please do note however, that Our Professional Fee for representing you in this transaction would be 0.8% of the total sum that would be remitted into your account. This sum would be paid into our Law Office, 48 hours after your nominated account has been credited. We have to give you detailed breakdown considering the time
constrain. My law office will contact you soon there after, to provide
you with our nominated bank account information through which you
can make payment into the account Section of Our Law Office. Please
note that we can only start processing Your inheritance claim only
after we have received evidence We thus await to hear from as we remain at your service. Yours Faithfully, Barrister Eliza Agbakobia Esq.
[Time to let Nelson know that I will require some identification from Eliza] From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, The barrister has contacted me (email below), but is demanding a fee of USD $15,420 for processing the necessary paperwork. I suggest that you contact him immediately and explain to him that I will require his proof of identity in the same way I required it of you. Without this proof of identity I shall not proceed. This is a non negotiable request. Sincerely, D'arth.
From: nelson coakley Dear D'arth, Thanks for your mail. I will notify the lawyer about your request but it will be more appropriate if you contact the lawyer directly and ask him for a copy of his I.D. strictly for identification purpose.( because as your lawyer you need to have his I.D so that you will know who is representing you). In doing this you should also ask him to furnish you with his bank account information so that you can make the funds available to him. The reason why you have to ask him for his bank account information together with his I.D is so as not make your request for his I.D look like a slight on his personality. He is really a reputable probate attorney and he will help you secure the letter of administration if you follow his instructions hence I would like you to make your request for his I.D very palatable. [I think not my fiendish friend] I would really appreciate if you can give me a direct phone number with which I can call you or in the alternative let me know when you will be chanced to call me on my telephone number. While I expect your prompt compliance, my warm regards to you
and your Regards, Nelson
From: D'arth Vader Dear Nelson, I want to make myself very clear here so as not to avoid ANY misunderstanding. The lawyers ID will NOT be acceptable to me. He must send me a picture of himself either holding the advert I originally sent to you, or agree to hold a sign with a password phrase on it. Absolutely NOTHING else will do. If you feel that the lawyer will refuse this then I am not prepared to continue any further. Remember, I told you in a previous email that I would be demanding this kind of proof with anybody who requested money from me. The lawyers reputation is of no consequence to me. What is important to me is that when I am sending a LARGE amount of money that I trust the person I am sending it to. I shall now advise the lawyer the same thing I did of you. If he refuses me then you will have to find another person to deal with. Sincerely, D'arth.
From: D'arth Vader Barrister Eliza Agbakobia Esq. Thank you for your email, and the contents have been read and fully understood. The processing fee is well within my means, but I must warn you that I do not send off such large amounts to people who I have never done business with or trust. I am going to have to make a request of you before I am willing to proceed any further. I run a large and extremely successful multi-million Dollar company, and so I have to be extremely careful about the people that I deal with. My employees and business representatives handle hundreds of thousands of Dollars in cash every week so I need to be able to trust them 100%. To this end I am going to request that you send me a photograph of yourself holding a copy of my company advertising image OR an agreed password phrase. The reason I ask for an image in such as way is to ensure that the picture you send cannot be a forgery. Please do feel insulted by this request, I make this request to all my business associates. It may seem like irregular business practice to you, but this is why I am a multimillionaire. Please signal your agreement to this request and I will either forward you the my advertising image or a password phrase. I am afraid that the terms above are non negotiable. If you fail to comply then I am not interested in proceeding. Sincerely, D'arth Vader.
From: Eliza Agbakobia Esq
Dear Sir, This is to acknowledge the receipt of your correspondence. It came to me as an embarrassment because throughout my years as a probate attorney none of my clients had ever doubted my integrity or reputation. [Not even after you STOLE their money?!] I usually take cases based on recommendation and as such I expect you to trust the person who recommended you to me. Based on how I was approached on your case I had to wave the mandatory 10% deposit of my professional fees which is the statutory requirement and only demanded from you the exact amount needed to process papers at the high court in the course of securing the letter of administration. I had earlier thought that my I.D would have been sufficient proof of my identity but asking me to pose with your company's advert logo is really something I never expected. Be that as it may, I am prepared to do the things you requested provided that you will accede to my request as well. Upon given you my I.D and the photograph you are requesting, I shall expect you to pay to my chambers the mandatory 10% deposit of our professional fees as required by law, so that we can take care of expenses related to the processing of the letter of administration on your behalf. Please let me hear from you so that I can send you the requested items. Also provide me your company logo with which I can take the photograph. I remain obliged in providing you the best legal representation Yours Faithfully, Eliza Agbakobia Esq.
[OK, now I try something a bit dumb I know, but is there any chance this might work?!] From: D'arth Vader Dear Eliza Agbakobia Esq. I understand that my request may seem irregular, but here in the West it is quite a common practice, especially for successful businessmen like myself. There are always people trying to use devious methods to extract money from people like myself, so extraordinary precautions have to be taken. [OK, this is a bit on the audacious side. I have my dumb pics, and I've had Nelson on the go for over three months so what the hell!] Because of the amount of fraud that takes place on the Internet I have to be especially careful. Do you know anything about the "419" fraud? I must confess that I do not know anything about this, but I have heard it mentioned. I do not understand exactly what that is, but some of my friends have told me to be very wary of a letter claiming to be from a Mrs. Mariam Abacha. Of course, I am sure you are a very honest person Miss Agbakobia, but with the kind of wealth I have I do need to be very careful. I have recently opened up a new exclusive restaurant called "EATER DOT COM" which is my new project, and as well as being a very exclusive restaurant it features many state of the art Internet and communication booths. This is a very new business and so no one knows about it. If you made a sign with the name of my company and had your photograph taken holding it this would provide proof enough for me that you are a genuine person. I think that I need also to clear up this "419" problem, so I recommend that we place this number in the sign with my company name because I know a real dishonest person would not ever think to use such a symbol. It would be a good recommendation from you. Placing these things together on one sign would be an extremely honest way to prove yourself to me. So, please make a sign with the words "I RECOMMEND 419 EATER DOT COM" and have your photograph taken holding it. I would urge you to make the sign LARGE and CLEAR so that my company name can be seen very clearly. Please ensure the photograph is also large and clear so that there is no possibility of forgery. Please note that a small sign of photograph will be totally unacceptable. On receipt of the above photograph I will IMMEDIATELY forward any necessary fees as I would like to conclude this business as soon as possible. If it is possible to have this business concluded before the 7th of December that would be very beneficial to me. Sincerely, D'arth.
From: Eliza Agbakobia Esq Attn: D'arth Vader. Dear Sir, This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail. The idea of taking a photograpgh with the phrase "I RECOMMEND EATER DOT COM" is quite okay but adding the acronym "419" to it simply makes it quite absurd. If you may know, the acronym "419" was coined from section 419 of our criminal code and it refers to fraud related activities. As a lawyer of high integrity I cannot be seen to be associated with such dubious and malicious tendencies. [Ho Ho!] If the idea of taking the photograph is to show that the photo in my I.D is not forged then I see no special reason why the acronym "419" should be added to the phrase. Consequently I shall be taking a photograph with the phrase " I RECOMMEND EATER DOT COM" which I shall send to you along with a scanned copy of my international passport. As a reciprocal gesture I shall ask you to also send me a copy of your international passport so that I can have your indentity in my file. I remain obliged in providing you the best legal representation [DAMN!]
[Looks like Eliza isn't going for it. I try a do or die last attempt] From: D'arth Vader Dear Eliza, Adding the '419' (whatever this code means) will cover myself as I will have to make out a contract at some later stage to include this to cover myself against consequential loss. I would have been happy to reciprocate with my passport but it seems this will no longer be needed as it looks like our deal is at an end. I am already a very rich man, so ending this deal will be no great loss to me. If you are not prepared to commit the whole of my message to a sign then please do not bother at all. Consider our business dealing at an end. Sincerely, D'arth.
[Over a week goes by with no reply from Eliza or Nelson] From: D'arth Vader Dear Mr. Coakley, Can I assume by your lack of communication they you are no longer interested in pursuing this business transaction? D'arth.
419eater note: Sadly, I heard no more from Nelson or Eliza. As noted previously,
Nelson was also trying to scam me under his other pseudonym of Olu
Martins in the bait titled "I LIKE TO WORRY SHEEP".
I suggest readers check out that bait for the latest news on Nelson/Olu
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