Title: DUMB & DUMBER Ladies and gentlemen. The email exchanges below canoot by any stretch of the imagination be called 'an interesting read', but as an example of sheer stupidity Mr. Ali surely must rank as a No.1 contender. Not unly does he eventually send a very moronic picture, but his greed and intellect is such that he does not notice over four name changes and two company names I go through!
Date: Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 12:51:52 +0100 (CET) Dear one, With the name of ALLAH i send you greetings may the almighty ALLAH guides and protect you . With brif introduction i am ALHAJI MOHAMMED ALI from URA in IRAQ. One of the personal adviser to the former president of IRAQ president SADAN HUSEN [And here's me thinking the ex president of Iraq was Saddam Hussein].Afterthe insident that happend between AMERICA and IRAQ I flew away to one of the AFRICAN country called ABIDJAN for security reasons. I was with some money and some gold that i took away from the goverment and went to Abidjan to meet a friend of my there.and when my friend saw the huge amount of money and gold that was with me and he was afread because theri is a of the security company for security reason.Sohe also advise me that i should not deposite the money with my name or his own name because of security reasons and also he is a politician in his country. And they can cut him and bound the money So i dicided to use your name as my foreign business partner and the owner of the fund .I did because of your good information that i got from A close friend of my who from in the same country with me.He is the one who introduse your name to me as his good and trust whoulghty friend of his .Unfortunately he was killed by the war that break in to the country IRAQ. May the almighty ALLAH recive his soul. SO dear one as i am in Abidjan i am not save and i am afread of theri political problem and i still think that my country may know that i made away with there money. So that is why i am calling you to come and assist me clam and transfer this money to your account in your country and so that i should come over to country to esterblish some business in your name . MAY THE ALMIGHTY ALLAH BLESS YOU AS YOU ASSIST ME. FROM
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Sir, I am sorry but as an owner of over 120 businesses here in the UK, I earn much more than 15% of $8,500,000 from my personal salary alone. I may be willing to help you become rich, but I will not enter into any business deal without IRREFUTABLE proof of identity. If you are willing to prove your identity to me IN THE WAY I REQUIRE then I am not interested in your proposition. Sincerely, Mr. Cosmo Naut.
[Some excuses about lack of documents, and a new spelling of his name] Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 12:51:52 +0100 (CET) Dear Cosmo Naut , Thanks for your urgent and assistance to help me .May the almigthy ALLAH guide and protect you. Sir as of the identity that you demanded from me as i told you that i flew out of my country because of the war . I was not be able to collect all my documents i was only with my international passport and It was sezid by the abidjan goverment because it is a deplomatic passport and they said that they did not want to see Any politician from any other country to come to theri country because of there political problem So that is why i did not use my name to deposit this items in the security company. But i will send to you my picture when i had from you. As of the amount that is included as i told you befor is 18.7million U.S dollars and 8 gota of gold. So please i want you to come as the owner of this items and clam it. What i want you to do now is to send me your full contact. Your full name Then i will send to you the catificate of deposit and the agreement documents for you to forward to the security company for quick transfer of the items to your place. because i am in the hotel and my hotel bill will exparing in one week time and i can not come out side because of the political problems here and i can not move arround so please do it urgent so that you can assist me to come over to your country for investment. waiting to here from you. From Mohamed.
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Sir, I will not enter into any business deal without IRREFUTABLE proof of identity. If you are willing to prove your identity to me IN THE WAY I REQUIRE then I am not interested in your proposition. Mr. Cosmo Naut.
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 12:50:48 +0100 (CET) Dear Sir, I am happy to recive your mail this mouning may the almighty ALLAH guide and protect you . Please sir you are the only hope that i have that can assist me out of this problem.please sir timorrow i will send to you my pesonal photograph and the Catificate that i used to deposit the item and the agreement that i made with them please bear with me and assist me please Thanks and may you remain blessed. FROM MOHAMED.
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Sir, Thank you for your email. Please take some time to read my previous emails more carefully. Before I am prepared to enter into any business deal with you I require a photograph of yourself in the manner that I require. Do not send me you passport or other personal photograph. I know that such things can be very easily forged. Please note I am not interested in seeing any documents or other photographs until I receive the proof of identity I require. To prove your identity to me to me 100% I will require that you have a NEW photograph of yourself taken holding a password phrase. If you are agreeable to having a photograph of yourself taken holding a password phrase then please get back to me and I will tell you what password to use. If you do not agree to my terms above then please do not reply to this email as I will not continue any deal without the image I require. Kind regards, Cosmo. Mr. Cosmo Naut.
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 17:39:03 +0100 (CET) Dear One, I am now in receipt of your mail and all contents are well understood, please rest assured that I am not here to waste my good time and energy with anyone, I hopefully contacted you for an assiatance which I proposed to you with an open and pure heart, Inshah Allah Hu, I am looking forward to go into good partnership with you. I will have my picture forwarded to you by tomorrow and also all documents of this deposits shall be send to you by tomorrow, try to be honest with me and make sure that every informations which you give to me shall be nothing than the truth because if I found out that you are not been honest, I shall cut down every communication links with you. Thanks, From Mohamed.
[I sense this guy is going to turn out to be a bit of a dumbo. So time for a business name change. Will he notice?] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Sir, do you have a problem with understanding my emails? I have to tell you now for the THIRD time that I need a ** NEW ** photograph of you holding my password phrase. How can you send me a picture when you don't even know what the password is?!! Mr. Cosmo Naut
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 18:27:07 +0100 (CET) Dear One, Please let me understand you very clear, what password are you talking about, you asked me for prooves about this consignment, and I told you that I am going to send to you my picture and documents issued to me by the security company on the date of this deposit, well if you feel that there are some kind of mis-understandings in this transactions or if you do not beleived me to be honest man, then contact the Director of the Security Company by name Mr. Andrew Davies and his direct phone contacts, Telephone: 00225 22 41 16 06. Fax: 00225 22 41 41 47. Mobile Phone: 00225 07 00 36 64. Please be very clear to me and also try to be very honest person or you stop writing me, please tell me again what you mean by password or you have that explain to the security company Director and I shall meet with him to get your information. NOTE: Please on no account should you made know to the security company's Director that I am having money or gold in the Please do no mistake or you put me into trouble here. Waiting for your reply if you are still on the computer. Thanks, From, Mohamed.
[Time to give Mr. Ali a reality check] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Sir, you are wasting my VERY VALUABLE time. This is what I require: That you have a photograph of yourself taken holing a LARGE sign with my company name written on it. The name I want you to put on the sign is: DOPEY CUNT Make sure the picture is LARGE and CLEAR as small unclear images will not be accepted. Once I have this proof of your identity THEN I will do business with you. Sir, I am already a multi millionaire, and I have no time to mess about with unserious people. If you do not want to do what I requested, please say no and then let us cease communications. Please understand this: THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER COMMUNICATION IF YOU REFUSE. I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY TELEPHONE NUMBER, BANK DETAILS, ADDRESS OR ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL I RECEIVE THE PHOTOGRAPH I REQUIRE. I AM *NOT* INTERESTED IN CALLING ANYONE TO VERIFY YOUR IDENTITY. THE PROOF WILL BE IN THE PICTURE YOU SEND HOLDING MY COMPANY NAME. Sincerely, Mr. Cosmo Naut
[Amazingly, Mr. Ali seems happy with my request] Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 12:40:48 +0100 (CET) Dear One, Good morning, I have received your email now and all content of your email do I understood, Concerning your request, I also Waite for my email and picture. Thanks from Mohammed.
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 14:58:48 +0100 (CET) Dear One, I have taken my picture from the photographer, I a, trying to get it scan now and shall send it to you. Thank, Mohammed.
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Mohammed, Thank you for your email and I shall await your photograph. Sincerely, Cosmo.
[Mr. Ali send his photoghraph, but sadly it's a bad fogery] Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 15:53:12 +0100 Dear One, Attached is my picture with the code name you gave to me DOPEY CUNT written on a paper, though the picture is not too clear, I think it is because of poor photographic productions here in Africa. Ok whatsoever you know it is me and the code name. I wait now for your respons and please try to call the Security Company Director Mr. Andrew Davies because the company is getting worried by my failure to clear the consignment as I agreed with them. Thank, From Mohammed. N/B: Due to problem of attaching my photo, I have written to you through my old email address, meanwhile for security reasons, please do not write me through this email address, write me through my formal address at: Voila.fr.
[This guy is dumb, and I'm going to test just how dumb by sending an email to him from my 419eater account!] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut - [email protected] Mr. ALi I am waiting for you to prove yourself to me by sending me a ACCEPTABLE, CLEAR image, NOT a forgery as you previously sent.
[Yes, he truly is a prize!] Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 13:32:19 +0100 Dear One, I will be sending to you another picture by tomorrow. Thanks, Mohammed.
[Another slightly less bad forgery arrives] Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 13:18:26 +0100 Dear One, Here is the picture as you requested, please make sure you contacted the Security Company. Also write me as soon as you get this message. Thanks, From Mohammed.
[A very pathetic forgery]
[I try to make it as obvious as I can that the two images are forgeries] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Mohammed,
[Mohammed brings up the ubject of "419" as though I was accusing him of it, which I didn't because Cosmo Naut doesn't know what 419 is Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 11:37:10 +0100 Dear Cosmo, Thanks for your answer may God bless you. please let me tell you that a true heart that is seeking for your assistance is only God that will assist him as i come to you for assistance and you take me as a 419 as you call it is only God that knows the trougth as you are suspecting and you don,t want to assist me God will provide who will assist me from your country and if i come there i will like to write you and told you that i am there. If is not because of the problem that is in this country did you think that i will call you for help and you can not call me a duper did you know what that mins is to kill my image please thank you for your help untill we see in your country. Thanks From Mohamed.
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Mohammed,
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 19:13:17 +0100 Dear Cosmo, Will i send to you all my pictures befor you can assist me Or what did you want to do with my picture? You requested my picture i gave it to you and you told me that the writing is not clear and i resend it agian and now you are requesting another picture from me. as can not belive me how do i know that if i send another picture you will belive me? Even though i send to you all the picture i have you will not still belive me. let me tell you what makes a man is by his word is not by looking at picture as you can not belive me by my word you can not still belive me if i sent to you all the picture in the wold. as of now i don,t have any picture to sent to you i know how dificult that takes me befor can go and take the picture that i send to you. So if you no that you can not help me you can forget about it and let me look for another person who will trust me and assist me . As for you i think you are just waisting my time here and you want me died here in abidjan so that you can call the security company and clam my items. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU. FROM MOHAMED.
[Shortly after the previous email, Ali sends me another] Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 19:27:36 +0100 DEAR COSMO, LET ME ASK YOU ONE QUESTION? ARE YOU THE ONE TO TRUST ME OR I AM THE ONE TO TRUST YOU? I AM THE ONE THAT IS SENDING MY MONEY TO YOU FOR SECURITY REASONS I AM THE ONE THAT IS SUPOSE TO BE AFFREAD IS NOT YOU THAT IS RECIVEING IT .I MY SELF IS THE ONE THAT SUPOSE TO ASK OF YOUR PICTURE IS NOT YOU THAT SUPOSE TO ASK ME MY PICTURE. [Answers on a postcard please!] I TRUSTED YOU THAT IS WHY I CONTACTED YOU BUT NOW YOU ARE SELLING YOUR TRUST. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE IN THE WOLD BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT I CHOSE AND NOW YOU ARE SELLING THE TRUST THAT I HAVE IN YOU. THANKS FROM MOHAMED.
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Mohammed. Please LOOK CAREFULLY at the two pictures you sent to me. PLEASE LOOK CAREFULLY. SURELY you must agree that the two photographs are EXACTLY THE SAME. The only difference is the sign you are holding. The position is the same. The shadow is the same. Your fingers are in EXACTLY the same position in each photograph. Do you think I am a fool Mohammed? Do you REALLY think that you can fool me with such a childlike forgery. Don't talk rubbish to me about believing your word when you have already LIED to me. It is ME that is INSULTED by your lies. No problem Mohammed. If you want to go and find some POOR person to help you that is fine with me. I am already VERY RICH, so if you don't want my help I do not care. I hope you find someone who has no money to help you because I will certainly NOT help you until you are HONEST with me. Goodbye. Cosmo.
[This is getting quite ridiculous now. Anther fake arrives] Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 11:20:37 +0100 DEAR COSMO. THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTION FOR TRUELY SPEEKING I DO NOT KNOW THE WAY THEY TRANSFER MONEY HERE PLEASE. AS YOU SAID I AM THE ONE THAT CONTACTED YOU AND I AM STILL HAVING TRUST AND BELIVE THAT YOU WILL HELP ME OUT OF THIS PROBLEMS YOU KNOW THAT A BEGER HAS NO CHOISE SO I DESIDED TO SEND TO YOU ANOTHER PICTURE SO THAT YOU CAN NOW TRUST ME. HERE IS THE PICTURE SO IF YOU ACEPT IT PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
[Lets try another slight name change. Whoever the guy is in the picture (and it certainly isn't Mr. Ali) I know Ali probably has half a dozen pics of the same guy in different poses. Lets see if he happens to have one on a new pose] From: FATHER Cosmo Naut Dear Mohammed,
[A rather pathetic excuse follows] Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 16:34:07 +0100 DEAR COSMO, THERE IS A RAYOIT HERE IN ABIDJAN TO DAY PEOPLE CAN NOT GO OUT SIDE. THE RABELS BREAK IN TO THE CONTRY AGIAN TODAY AND THEY WHERE FORIGNERS SO FOR THAT THE POLICE IS DISTUBING ALL THE FORIGNERS LIVING HERE. SO PLEASE I CAN NOT GO OUT NOW TO TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE BUT I WILL SEND THE PICTURE THAT YOU REQUESTED AFTER THEY HAVE STOPED THIS PROBLEM. PLEASE YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND CONTACT THE SECURITY COMPANY NOW BECAUSE THE AGREEMENT THAT I HAVE WITH THEM WILL BE EXPARING THIS MONTH ENDING THAT IS WHY I AM SO WARRIED ABOUT IT. SO PLEASE SIR I PROMISE THAT I WILL SEND THE PICTURE TO YOU BEFOR I WLL COME OVER TO YOUR PLACE AND IMMIDIATLLY YOU RECIVED THE ITEMS AND CONFARM IT. PLEASE TRY AND DO SOMETHING BEFOR THEY WILL SIZED MY MONEY THAT IS THE ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVE IN THIS LIFE PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST AND DO SOMETHING. WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU. MOHAMED.
[I'll play along for a while and see what happens] From: FATHER Cosmo Naut OK Mohammed, If you security company/barrister etc. want any payment, I will NOT pay anything until I receive the picture. I will also not give any personal information either.
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 17:07:39 +0100 DEAR COSMO, Here is the telephone number and email contact of the director of the security company phone number, 0022507003664. email, [email protected] by name. Andrew Davies. Thanks mohamed
[I contact Andrew Davis at the 'security' company] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Mr. Davis I was told to contact you for information on the funds my Mohammed Ali. Lets have it then. Cosmo Naut.
[I let Mr. Ali know that I have contacted the security company] From: Mr. Cosmo Naut I have contacted the security company.
[Mr. Ali replies to let me know the picture will follow. I have serious doubts, but then again I'm a suspicious fellow!] Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 17:20:26 +0100 DEAR COSMO, THANKS FOR YOUR HELP I AM VERY GREATFUL. PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THE TRANSFER I PROMISE YOU IMMIDIATLLY THE RIOT STOPS HERE I WILL GO AND TAKE THE PICTURE AND SEND IT TO YOU. IS BETER FOR ME FOR YOU TO HAVE THE MONEY WITH YOU THAN THE MONEY IS BE SEIZED OR ABADONED HERE WITH GIVING ME ANY INTEREST. AS I KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT BETRAY ME THAT IS WHY I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOU RIGHT FROM THE FIRST DAY I CONTACTED YOU. SO PLEASE SIR IF YOU HAVE THE FEAR OF GOD DON,T ALLOW THEM TO BLOCK MY MONEY HERE BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVE.AND I WANT YOU TO SAVE MY LIVE HERE I AM DIEYING.IF IS SAID THAT YOU ARE SEEING ME FACE TO FACE YOU WILL REALY RENDER YOUR HELP TO ME. SO TIMORROW I WILL TRY AND CALL THE SECURITY COMPANY DIRECTOR TO ASK HIM WHY HE HAD NOT REPLY TO YOUR MAIL. MAY THE ALMIGTHY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. MOHAMED.
[The security company gets in touch. Lets hope Mr. Davis has a higher level of intellect!] Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 11:05:25 -0500 (EST) Dear Mr. Naut, I am in receipt of your mail and your demands for your partner's consignment is well recorded. Mr. Naut, I am seizing this opportunity once more to remind you parties that the said consignment shall be attracting a demourrage bills of $100 per day as from the date of 01/12/2003. This was the agreement between my company and your partner Mr. Ali and any attempt to brake our agreement shall resort to litigation. At the moment, this is not yet a matter of litigation anyway but of an understanding between you parties, so every arrangement has to be made now to get your consignment withdrawn before the signed date of withdrawal or to face a penalty bills which may resorts to litigation. Thanks for your co-operations. Andrew Davies. [A threat of litigation?! I won't take that lying down!]
From: Mr. Cosmo Naut Dear Mohammed,
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