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Title: I PRAY TO DIE HENCEFORTH
A tale of love, lust, loss and greed when the X Files meets The Matrix. Good people, please remember Fags in your prayers....... A small note:
Attn: President/CEO,
Let me start by first introducing myself properly to you, I am williams kenny [WILLIAMS KENNY - remember that!] a director with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) Eleme Refinery. I came to know of you in my private search for a reliable and reputable person to handle the confidential transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum confidence. THE PROPOSITION: a foreigner, Engineer James Akmed, an Oil Merchant/Contractor with the Federal Government of Nigeria, until his suspension three years ago, executed with us at Eleme Refinery of NNPC, and had a total contract executed worth US$28.6 (Twenty Eight Million,Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollar) which flows in the Corporation's suspense account. It is because of the allegation/petition leveled against him that he (Engr. James Akmed) who is a close friend to the late dictatorship General Sanni Abacha (formal Military President of Nigeria) who died in office in 1998 and during his tenure the country experienced various mismanagement and series of malpractices were carried out in collaboration with his foreign friends. However, a Panel were set up to investigate the issue, who found him (Engr. James Akmed) guilty and the present Democratic President of Nigeria Chief Olusegun Obasanjo suspended him from transacting any business in Nigeria with immediate effect and was asked to leave the country. However, these made the contract fund "UNCLAIMABLE" which was only known to my colleagues and I. Fortunately, all the Contract document including the " CONTRACT COMPLETION CERTIFICATE" are with me but the need for a very trustworthy foreign business man/woman whom I would present as the Foreign contractor/beneficiary to claim the fund. In order to achieve this development, some of my colleagues and I now seek your permission to have you stand as the FOREIGN CONTRACTOR so that the funds would be released and paid into your account as beneficiary's who executed the contract in the year 1999. All documents and proves to enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out. More so, we are assuring you of a 100% risk free involvement. Your share stays while the rest would be for me and my colleagues for investment purposes in your country. We have agree that, the funds be shared thus, after it has been transferred into your nominated account: (1) 30% of the money will go to you for acting as the beneficiary of the fund. (2.) 5% will be set aside for reimbursement to both parties for any incidental expenses that may be incurred in the cause of the transfer. (3). 65% to us the originator of the transaction. If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed on you and your Company, kindly get to me immediately on my E-mail Address as stated bellow. Please furnish me with your most confidential Telephone and Fax Number(s), Company Name to use, Banking information including the A/C Number, Swift Code (if any). I assure you that if you will follow my instruction, the fund shall be in your Account within 7-10 days of this transaction. Thanking you for your kind understanding in this regard. My best regards, [So, as noted previously, numb-nuts starts off by introducing himself as 'Williams Kenny' and signs off with John Ademola! I'll let that fly for now.]
To: [email protected] My dear Mr.Ademola,
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2003 04:59:19 -0700 (PDT)
Dear Miss Gillian Anderson. How are you and your family? I know that You have been receiving different e-mails
of different stories but this is real and no crime is attached to
it, It may interest you to know that two years ago a similar transaction
was carried out with one Mr. Patrice miller, the president of craine
international trading corporation at number 135, east 57th street,
28th floor, new York, 10022 with telephone ((212))308-7788 and telex
number 6731689,after the agreement between both partners in which
he was to take 5%. the money was duly transferred into his account
only to be disappointed on our arrival in new York as we were reliably
informed that Mr. .Patrice miller was no longer on that address
while his telephone and telex numbers have been reallocated to someday
else, that is how we lost uss$ 27.5m to Mr. Patrice miller.
[A change of john's email address, but lets ignore it]
From: Gillian Anderson
Dearest John, Also please note that on Wednesday (3rd September)
I am at a launch party for a new magazine which is being launched
(I am on the front cover!) so I will be unavailable via email or
fax on that day.
Date: Mon, 1 Sep 2003 07:53:10 -0700 (PDT) Dear sister Gillian I got your mail my good friend and the content
were well noted, my friend in regard your request for my identification,
with all pressure I will send to you my photo now. I am also happy
you are truly a trustworthy fellow one can always rely on at any
given time in life due to your questions regards this transaction.
From: Gillian Anderson
My Dear Mr. Ademola, Thank you for your email. Please note that I have just received a fax from a colleague, and it seems that the fax machine is not working correctly. The engineer tells me that a rat has somehow got caught up in the workings (I hate those little bastards). If you need to send me any documents, please send them as email attachments for the moment. As for your questions, my age is 27 and I'm one hot babe. As my company currently earn in excess of 4.2 million dollars per year, I am sure that my account is more than adequate to deal with a large sum such as yours. If there's one thing I can handle, it's large loads. Please Mr. Ademola, thank you for your picture, but it is quite small and I cannot see your face very clearly. Please would you send me another photo? I await your instructions. Kindest regards, Miss Gillian Anderson.
Date: Mon, 1 Sep 2003 10:14:11 -0700 (PDT)
Dearest sister,
From: Gillian Anderson
My Dear Mr. Ademola, Sorry, but I have to end this email here as the vermin
exterminator is here and he needs to use his flame-thrower.
[John takes a shine to me] Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 04:36:39 -0700 (PDT) Dear sweet angle, [Angle? Would that be 90 degrees or 45 degrees?!] How are you and your family? Hope fine thank be to the God almighty ,I got your mail in regarding my your bank information's and your picture. Sister thank very much for your quick reply, and I will not fail to let you that you are very beautiful, infect you are an ANGLE! Please sister from today onward I will be addressing you as sweet angle. Sister I am very sorry that I could not hear your sweet voice over the phone, I cause that accident that happened to you ,please bear with me for I fell for you. I am also happy you are truly a trustworthy fellow one can always rely on at any given time in life due to your questions / carefulness regards this transaction . Sequel to your request I fax if i have to fax any document now that i should scan and sent to you? I have to use the job completion certificate with me now to validate and obtain / back date a new job completion certificate on your name and of company as the beneficiary that executed this contract in the year 1999 as I have the old certificate and nobody knows about this development. My sweet angle I will be very happy if to hear soonest that the engineer has been through with the fax machine so that we do not have any delay regard receiving the approval documents of this fund from all the ministries concerns. My friend you know that this a deal do not worry for I have done the underground work for the for the successful transfer of this money , all I need is your support . As soon as I obtained the new certificate I will fax it to you immediately. Would you like to register your company as a subsidiary contractor here in Nigeria? I have to appoint an attorney on your behalf that will follow up this transaction I will pay him for his legal professional fee, because I am a government official , I don't want anybody to know my involvement in regard this transaction. I will tell the attorney that you are my old friend from LONDON Who executed a contract with my corporation (NNPC) that you ask me to secure an attorney that will assist you get the approval of this fund into your bank account The attorney will proceeded and he shall be given you reports on his dealings . At any stage of development, the lawyer shall send you copies of all the documents for your perusal until the amount reflects in the government's schedule list for payment, then representatives of the group will come to your country to man our share of the proceed. Should you be interested in this arrangement mail me immediately. Lets trust and absolute confidentiality be our watchword throughout this business transaction. Thanks while I await your immediate response. Best Regards, NB:Like you said that you will be off mail tomorrow, I wish you the best of luck and god's protection wherever you went my sweet angle.
Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 04:38:50 -0700 (PDT) Dear sweet angle. My sister i want to bring to your notice that my mentor have this morning forwarded the letter of claims including your name/bank and of your company to the appropriate quarter concern for the immediate approval of the fund in your favour . I am happy to inform you that your name and your company's has been encoded in the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) computer, thereby, making you the bonafide owner of the Twenty Eight Million, Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars, (USD$ 28,600,000.00) I have been assured by my mentor in the (FMF) that the final approval must be ready as soon as possible. Thereafter, the fund will be released to you by the Apex Bank of Nigeria (CBN) through telegraphic transfer into your nominated bank account in London- England. As soon as you receive any document/correspondence or phone call from any organization or an individual from Nigeria, you should not respond until you notify me so as to enable me advise you on what to do. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT INSTRUCTION WHICH MUST BE ADHERE TO. You are expected to keep this transaction TOP SECRET
at all times until the money has arrived your bank account. You should also bear in mind that any expenses we might incurred during the cause of this transaction will be taken care by 5% set aside for expenses. On this note, you are advised to keep records of all your expenses since the 5% will be shared according to the ratio of our expenses, and 30% will be given to you as the owner of the account used, while 65% is for me and my colleagues. As soon as you confirm the money in your bank account, you MUST notify me so that i and one of my colleague will come down to your country to collect our share of the fund .and part of our share will be used to set up a business which you as a partner will be inspecting for us over there. Please mail me back immediately you receive this mail. Thanks while I await your immediate response Best Regards, ENGR. John Ademola
From: Gillian Anderson
My dear John, Many thanks for your very sweet email, it was very touching to me, in fact I am touching me as I write this (hard to do I can tell you). Yes, it is a pity that I cannot talk to you over the telephone, but hopefully we will meet soon. Please try to find a bigger picture of yourself to send to me. For every picture you send to me I will send one from me. Your other pictures are to small. Your face looks nice, but I cannot see the pictures clearly as they are too small, and I want to make sure you are not a hideous pox-ridden specimen of a man, like my last boyfriend Brad Pitt. Please for the future send any needed documents via email attachment, and I will also do the same. You may register my company, Clockzone Modelling Inc. if you feel that it would help to complete this transaction quickly. Please instruct your lawyer to proceed at his will. I will leave you for now my John. I will be back tomorrow evening after the magazine has finished taking my photographs for their cover. I am excited; the photographer has promised me a pearl necklace if I do well. Take care, Gillian.
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2003 04:59:19 -0700 (PDT) Dear sweet angle How is your outing regarding the magazine coverage? Best Regards,
From: Gillian Anderson
My dearest John,
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2003 12:23:51 -0700 (PDT) Hello sweet angle [Will somebody PLEASE get this guy a dictionary!] I got your mail and your request I send to you my lager photo for your viewing, my dear angle I would have send to you my photo again if I have one at my reach now, but I want you to understand that I am a handsome looking man [I think later on we are about to find out that John is what is technically known as, 'a lying bastard'] and a director with (NNPC) , do not bother yourself about my postures because very soon we meet face to face and have diner /wine together in your country. My dear angle the reason why I do not have much posture of myself-alone is I am a public figure, most of my pictures where group pictures and most of all is video coverage, please bear with me my sweet angle. I want to bring to your notice that there was a proverb,( which say that, it is nice for a queen to follow corner way to enter kings palace) that is to say as far as we are going to meet face to face soonest ,please dear picture or no picture for now let us join hand /rob[?!] mind together to the succeed of this transaction. My sweet angle I am not saying that you should stop sending your pictures to me, I welcome your posture at any giving time, because I like/love to see you at all times. My angle if I may forget how is your outing today? Have you been contacted by the lawyer? Because I have advised him to proceed and I have send to him some money to execute his duty on your behalf. Please you are to inform me as soon as your fax machine is ok. I am happy to hear that you assured me 100% of confidentiality. My dear angle mail me back once you receive this mail. Best regard
From: Gillian Anderson
Dear John,
Date: Thu, 4 Sep 2003 05:29:41 -0700 (PDT) Dear My Sweet Angle, I got your mail with a great shock of mind. Let me tell categorically that i am not much interested in your money, but for you in particular. Due to the business we are into that make us to know ourselves is God sent which we both of us will benefit from it soonest. I am not hiding anything for you to be very sincere, i am a director with Nigerian National Petroleum coporation, 35 years old married with one child but divioced in year 2002, since then i have not made any other choice of another wife, but because i came in contact with you i think i will give it a trial. I believe by next week ending this funds will be in your account, i will then travel to meet with you so that we can sort things out. Below is my photograph. Bear with me my dear angel.
Best regard
From: Gillian Anderson
Dearest John, Your emails are welcomed, and thank you for putting my mind at ease with regards to some things. Dear John, please forgive me, for at the moment my dearest pet dog died this morning. My dog was with me for many many years, and since I have not yet been married he was a close friend to me. My dog was called Fags, named after my great Uncle George Fagsinder Anderson. Fags had been suffering for some weeks now (he was coughing a lot recently) and his death was expected but it still comes as a great shock to me. Without Fags, my life feels empty at the moment. I really loved my pet, and I am not certain how I am to continue without Fags. Sorry to keep going on about a silly thing like Fags, but until you know the feelings I have, you will never know how hard it is to be without Fags. My dearest John, I am unhappy also with picture you sent to me. They are the same picture that you sent to me before but you have enlarged it. This makes me even more unhappy, and I feel I cannot trust you. Are they your real pictures, or are you trying to keep your real identity secret because you do not trust me, or are you dead? Please John, do not be afraid to reveal your true self to me. Looks are not important to me, but friendship and trust is. Now that I have to live without Fags I am in real need of somebody I can trust; I hope it is you. Do you think you can be a substitute for Fags? I feel sure that you can become my new Fag. I am going to have to ask you to do one thing for me to prove your honesty to me. I need you to get a real photograph sent to me, but this time to prove that you are not sending me a false image I need you to hold a sign that shows the image must be you. Please John, will you take your photograph holding a sign for me? Will you pay respects to my dear departed pet by holding up a sign? I would like you to hold up a sign that says "I LOVE FAGS". That way I know that the photograph is true because nobody else will know to do this. If you can do this for me then I know for certain you must be a true and gentle man. Without this proof I am sorry but I cannot proceed any further. Please, for the memory of my Fags, do this one thing for me my dearest. I have to leave now dear John. I have to arrange the burial for my beloved pet and the funeral director is asking for Fags. Your love, Gillian Anderson.
Date: Fri, 5 Sep 2003 10:11:56 -0700 (PDT) Dear sweet angle [FFS!] I got your mail and I am very sorry to hear the death of your lovely pet Fags. It is a pity that I can not talk with you on phone, I would have tell you what and how I fell for the death of fag. Hence I send this mail to you. I am sorry for my late replying; it is because I went out early this morning to inspect a new site for my corporation (NNPC). My dear angle you wish is my command I will do exactly what you want regard fag's death. To show my concern for you and fag. My dear sweet angle all the pictures that I have sent to you is my real image and to prove to you that I love you and not happy for fag's death I will snap a new picture today and send it across to you as you requested, to hold up a sign that says "I love Fags" [YEAY!] because your happiness means much to me now that you have no friend expect me. I have to leave now my sweet angle. I have to and arrange with the photographer, which I will send to you by tomorrow as soon as I receive the copy from the photographer. My dear sweet for the fact that I do not know much about scanning works because I am petrochemical engineering and I can not take my picture to anybody else to do the scanning for me do to the nature of this transaction. But I will do my best my sweet angle bear with me. My dear sweet angle ,one more things that I wouldn't want to be hearing/reading from your mails to me is (if you done do this, I cannot proceed any further. ) You should remember that this transaction is a god sent that brought us together and should be regarded at all times, because we both will benefit from it. My dear angle there is something I have in mind to tell you but not until we meet face to face in your country, which will be soonest. Please except my condolence for the death of fag, may the Good Lord gives you the mind to bear the grate lost. Hope to be with you soonest. Thanks while I await your immediate response. Your lover, [EURGH!]
From: Gillian Anderson
Dearest John, Thank you for your thoughts about my pet. I know such things may be silly to you, but for me my Fags was a lifelong companion. As I am not married Fags was very close to me, and with me all the time. You could say I was addicted to Fags. Thank you for trying with the picture. It is very important to me that I find someone who I can trust 100% Please be sure to make the image as large as possible so that your sign of truth is clear. I will be VERY grateful to you for a big, clear image. I will not tell you now what I will do for you, but it will make you very happy! As soon as your picture is received I will complete this transaction ASAP. I have attached a picture of my beautiful departed friend Fags. I hope you like Fags too. Your love, Gillian.
Date: Sat, 6 Sep 2003 11:09:13 -0700 (PDT) Dear sweet angel. [ALERT THE PRESS - He got it right!] How are you today? I hope that fag's death is not causing too much disturbances to your life? Please my dear sweet angel do not feel bad about this incident for it is not your wish but the devil. I will not fail to tell you how i feel to hear fag's death ,although i did not see/know fag but hence the death toches your heart i feel the same. My dear sweet angel i am attaching this picture for the memory of fag's death to please my sweet angel. My dear now that you have lost your life long companion do not worry much for you have found someone dear to you ,that is me {I WILL BE ANYWHERE FOR YOU TO MAKE YOU HAPPY} this is my word of advise for you. May his or her soul rest in perfect peace AMEN!! Please i want to ask you this question , I know such question may be silly to you, but i am serious , Have you been proposed for marriage by any man as of now? I want you to have me in mind from now onward because i want to be closer to you. Please except my condolence for the death of fag,
may the Good Lord gives you the mind to bear the grate lost.
John sends me this picture with a cut & pasted head!
From: Gillian Anderson
Dearest John, How can you do this to me? I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful message that you wrote, but WHY oh WHY have you disguised the head? It is quite plain to me that you have put another head on top of the original photograph. John, I am in tears as I write. I am now wet. I was starting to trust you and now you do THIS?? Please john, it does not matter to me what you look like. As I have said before, your looks are not important to me. Because I am a model, I have always had handsome men coming after me, but they have ALL let me down once they did me doggy style. The only thing I could ever trust is Fags. I know the picture is false. I work with photographers nearly every day, so please be honest with me. Dear John, it seems that you are another of these bad men who will treat me badly and be bad to me, which is bad, and I hate bad. [You follow that?!] Gillian.
Date: Sun, 7 Sep 2003 08:55:00 -0700 (PDT) Dear angel My dear angle I got your mail, and all the content of your mail were well noted my dear angel. My dear angel to satisfy your mind and mine as partner to be in future, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO AT THIS PRESENT SITUATION? To please you. I am now getting real that you love me my sweet angel.. Please very urgent reply. Your lover John
From: Gillian Anderson
Dearest John,
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2003 04:40:57 -0700 (PDT) Dearest sweet angel How are you today? My sweet angel Let's trust that absolute confidentiality be our watchword throughout this business transaction. Regard your request from me, this is to prove my honest / love I have for you hence I send to you these two pictures for your perusal and safe keeping. Please my angel now that you have my photo I believe that we can proceed further as future partner to be and finalize this transaction as soon as possible. My plan/intention is as soon as this fund is transferred / confirmed into your account; I will file an application letter for my resignation to the appropriate ministry concern as a civil savant with my government and come over to stay with you. Or what do you think? Have you been contact by any of the ministries regarding the approval of this fund in your favour ? Have the lawyer sent to you any of the documents? At any stage of development, the lawyer shall send you copies of all the documents for your perusal until the amount reflects in the government's schedule list for payment. As soon as you receive any document/correspondence or phone call from any organization or an individual from Nigeria, you should not respond until you notify me so as to enable me advise you on what to do. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT INSTRUCTION WHICH MUST BE ADHERING TO. You are expected to keep this transaction TOP SECRET at all times until the money has arrived your bank account, do not disclose this transaction to your bank at this stage until the fund is transferred into your account and you will be backed up with all the necessary documents of claim. You should endeavor to keep me updating always so as to give me information on every stage of development concerning this transaction. Please except my condolence for the death of fag [FAGS! FAGS! FAGS! It's "Fags" you idiot] may the Good Lord gives you the mind to bear the grate lost. Please mail me back immediately you receive this mail. Thanks while I await your immediate response ENGR. John Ademola Nb: please is dear any means we could talk on phone, because I am egger to hear your voice anyhow.
From: Gillian Anderson My dearest John, I thank you from my heart for sending me you new photographs. You look like a very sweet and gentle man [Actually, the first words that came to my mind were "complete" and "dork"] and I know that my trust in you will remain. The lawyer did contact me my darling, but when I was so sad at the death of Fags I have deleted all of my emails, so I do not have a copy of the letters. Please ask him to contact me again to send any needed documents to me. [Just to make him work a little harder] Please my love, tell the lawyer to be sure to print your name in the subject so that I can easily know who it is from. Please, let me know what you would like me to do now. Thank you again for your thought for Fags. It is nice to know that you have always got Fags on your mind. I know you must me a warm caring man, and I will reward you soon for your hard work. I am so happy that you love Fags! Dearest John, you can try to call me, but you will have to talk loudly and slowly. If I am not home, please leave a message on my answer phone. Please note that because I get so many strange calls, you will need to say a password when leaving a message so that I know it is you. Before you leave any message, you must say the passwords "I love Fags", then I know it will be you. My telephone number is 001 206 XXX XXXX (this includes the country dialling code). Please remember that this is my private US telephone number, but if I am available the call will be forwarded to whatever location I am at. I have sent another picture for you dearest John. It is a quite sexy picture so I hope you like it! Forever, Gillian.
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