|
TITLE: Father Jack's in da howse!
SCAMMER NAME: George Ochonogor
SCAMMER LOCATION: Nigeria
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers
George Ochonogor contacted me with another standard donation
scam. I ran the "tattoo" routine with him, but the pictures
he sent back to me were so bad I decided to have some extra fun
and spare no regard for the fact I might lose him! It starts all
serious then insanity is slowly introduced!
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 17, 2005
Subject: YOU ARE BLESSED
GoodDear Sir/madam,
Greetings to you who are highly favoured may the lord God Almight
be with you Amen. My name is george Ochonogor,im from Delta State
Nigeria,am 24years old
boy,I have no family i lost my whole family during the crisis which
they fought seriously in Delta state in the year 1999,i have no
father,mother,sister or brother,they where burned alive by the ijaws
youth during the crisis. Good grief! I hope my ijaws don't
set on fire - sounds damn painful.
I was the only one who God survived in my family since then
i have nothing in this world all of our property where burned complete
including my whole family right now i am alone in this world suffering
and begging.i lost my education career because there is no one to
pay my school fees,i dont have home to live and no good clothes
to wear,i begged to eat right now there is no one i can call for
help.
i am now a worthless beggar. Who can afford Internet
access. please i really want you to help me with anything
you have for me.in fact if there is anyway you can used to help
me it will be great.you can help me your old clothes which you are
not wearing anylonger,please look at my situation and the pains
which im going through in world and help me.
I have no family to help me that is why im here begging you
to help me. it is written in the book of {matthew chapter 7verse
7 it says "ask and it will be given unto you,seek and you will
find,knock and the door will be opened to you"}so you can help
me with anything at all and the Lord will surely blessed you as
you help Amen.
I wish my parents are alived i would have finished my education
by now. Help in the name of God, please i really rely on your help
and i wait for your reply.thanks for you assitance
N.B
YOU CAN HELP ME WITH CLOTHES THAT YOU NO LONGER WEAR,YOU CAN SPONSOR
ME TO ANY OPHANGE HOME,OR YOU CAN ALSO ASSIT ME WITH ANY AMOUNT
OF MONEY TO COMPLETE MY EDUCATION OR YOU CAN TAKE ME AS YOUR SON
OR HOUSE HELP. GOD BLESS FOR EVERTHING YOU DO.AMEM
A note to people unfamiliar with these types of scams:
George sounds pretty desperate doesn't he? I can well understand
how a charitable person might be taken in by his sob story, however
I have the benefit of the experience of many many hundreds of these
types of scams, and also George has been sneaky. He has in fact
sent similar scam letters to around a dozen of my other scambaiting
accounts, but for some reason he decided to change his name and
some minor details in most of them. For instance, in one email "George"
calls himself Martin Eze and his parents died in a traffic accident.
He uses the same email address in all his scam emails, so he isn't
the brightest bulb in the box. Perhaps he didn't get the education
he needed after all.
Don't be fooled by people like George. These guys can earn many
many thousands of dollars a month from such simple scams, and you
DEFINITELY don't want to meet up with him on his patch, unless you
have a penchant for having your throat cut...
So, lets start the usual Tattooed Saint procedure...
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 17, 2005
Dear brother George,
Thank you so much for your very nice email. You sound like a very
caring person, and I hope that God rewards your hard work appropriately
and I am sure he will look after you and ensure you receive everything
that you deserve. I will most certainly pray for you this evening
and ensure my members do the same. I am sorry but in this instance
I am unable to help you with your current predicament.
Please do note that my church give yearly donation and financial
help to the underprivileged, sick and needy every year. In total
we give approximately $12 million a year to the less fortunate and
needy of the world.
Sadly I am afraid that I am unable to help you at this time. You
see the rules of my Christian ministry forbid members of my church
from any business dealings personal, charitable or otherwise with
people who are not part of our church or faith, so although I would
normally be most pleased to help you my hands are tied. I would
like to help your very noble cause by sending a generous donation
of perhaps $40,000 or $50,000 to help you to help others as you
are trying. But because you are not a member of my church it is
sadly out of the question. The rules of my ministry only allow financial
help to others who are members of our faith and church.
Of course, if you were to go through the induction procedure and
join our church then of course I could help you, and even send a
donation for you to pass on to the less fortunate and spread the
word of our church, but of course I do not and would not expect
you to go through the induction procedure for our church because
it requires a lot of commitment to our church so of course I can
understand if you refuse.
So once more, I apologise that I cannot help you at this time,
but I will pray for you this evening that you find the help that
you require.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
Notice George's change to uppercase pleading. This is usually
a good indicator that the first introduction letter was not actually
written by the scammer himself but in all probability written for
him by an accomplice, of maybe even perhaps stolen from another
scammer. This is a very common occurrence.
For the first couple of letters scammers usually have a set
of "form" replies at the ready, all usually prepared by
someone with a half decent grasp of the English language, however
once you get them "out of script" they have to rely on
their own writing abilities, which sometime leave a lot to be desired.
This is one of the many many ways to spot a scammer in action. You
need to watch out though; some scammers deliberately make their
emails looks as though they are coming from a complete moron in
order to fool the victim into thinking they might have the upper
hand, so just watch out!
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 18, 2005
Subject: GOD WILL BLESS YOU
MAY GOD BLESS YOU FATHER BRUCE CORBIN,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL WHAT YOU HAVE SAID INCLUDING YOUR
PRAYER.MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR MINISTRY IN JESUS NAME AMEN.AS
YOU CAN SEE RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO PARENTS THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING
FOR YOUR HELP,PLEASE I WANT YOU TO HELP ME IN ANY WAY YOU CAN.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR MEMBER IN YOUR CHURCH,NO MATTER WHAT
ITS TAKE I WILL LOVE TO BE YOUR MEMBER.YOU CAN HELP ME SIR,IF YOU
ARE TO BE IN MY SHOES AND YOU ASK ME TO HELP YOU I WOULD HAVE DONE
ANYTHING TO HELP YOU. ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO TO BECOME YOUR
MEMBER I WILL DO IT SIR,SIR DO IT FOR GOD.
I BEGGED TO EAT,I BEGGED PEOPLE FOR CLOTHES.HELP IN JESUS NAME
IM SEEKING FOR YOUR HELP I HAVE NOBODY TO CALL TO HELP,MY PARENTS
ARE DEAD.YOU CAN HELP ME SIR I REALLY RELY ON YOUR HELP.NOTHING
IS TOO BIG OR SMALL.MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR ALL WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED
FOR ME IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR.
GEORGE OCHONOGOR.
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 17, 2005
Dear Brother Ochonogor,
Thank you very much for your kind email
I have to tell you that I am extremely excited that you are indeed
considering joining our church. Your commitment is to be admired
greatly. However you must understand that in order for me to be
able to help you it means you will have to join our church, and
you must (like all our members) prove your absolute devotion to
our cause and church. You must complete our short induction procedure
before you can join with us. The induction procedure is simple,
but you must be warned that it must not be taken upon lightly.
I must tell you that to join our church you must show great commitments,
however the rewards are great. Once you have become a member and
have completed the induction procedure I am sure that my board members
can help you with a most generous donation, especially if as you
say you are interested in setting up a branch of our ministry in
your country to help spread the word our church. I cannot give you
a firm commitment as to the amount of the donation we can send to
you to help others, but it is normal in these types of cases for
my church to offer sums of between $40,000 to $60,000 if you are
indeed serious about helping us to spread the word of our ministry.
Of course, in order to receive such financial help you must become
a full and willing member of our church.
Again I must repeat I that to enter our ranks does take great commitment.
All members of our church (myself included) must bear the tattoo
mark of our saint, Saint Bartholomew Shiver. As an example I have
attached a photograph of the tattoo mark as shown on our latest
inductee, Mary Clifford. This mark of faith is tattooed on to each
individual member of our church. Not only does this serve as a graphic
reminder of our commitment to our faith, but all over the world
it helps us to recognise our brothers and sisters. It is a golden
rule of our church that our members must do everything in their
power to help and aid fellow members.
So, to be inducted into our church, you must agree to the following:
1. Agree to have a tattoo showing the mark and name of Saint Bartholomew
Shiver. This can be placed on any part of your body. Most of our
members have this placed on their arms.
2. Provide photographic proof of the tattoo mark
3. Agree to use any donations sent to you for the good of your fellow
men & women.
If you can agree to the above requirements then I see no reason
why we cannot start your induction procedure immediately. On receipt
of the photographic proof of your tattoo mark of St. Bartholomew
we can provide you with a generous donation and regular help within
24 hours of receiving the photographic proof. We will also of course
send much information by posts contain our scriptures, information
about the church, and how we would like you to help spread word
of our church and cause.
Of course agreeing to have a tattoo placed upon your body is a very
important one, and committing yourself to this is a great request,
but it is exactly this which will show us your willingness to be
a part of our ministry.
Please note that you must be able to fund the tattoo and photographs
yourself. We will of course refund you all your costs as well as
provide the donation to you, however this can only be given once
the induction procedure has been completed successfully.
Let me know if you are in agreement to the above requirements and
I will forward you more detailed information and also a picture
of the tattoo mark of St. Bartholomew so that you can make your
own arrangements to have the tattoo applied at your place of choosing.
Thank you again for your email.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
I attach the now familiar Photoshopped image of
one of our inductees.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 19, 2005
Subject: I WILL JOING YOUR CHURCH SIR
DEAR FATHER BRUCE CORBIN,
GREETINGS TO YOU SIR,MAY THE LORD ALWAYS BE WITH
YOU FOREVER.THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME
TO BECOME YOUR MEMBER AND TO SPREAD YOUR GOSPEL HERE IN NIGERIA.
SIR I AGREE TO HAVE A TATTOO SHOWING THE MARK AND
NAME OF SAINT BARTHOLOMEW SHIVER.
WHAT WILL I USED TO DRAW MY OWN TATTOOO IN ANYPART OF MY BODY,IS
IT THE TATOO IN THE LADY ARM ON YOUR ATTACH PICTURE, HOPE IS THE
SAME THING THAT I WILL ALSO DRAW IN MY OWN ARM. SIR I AM REALLY
READY TO JOIN YOUR MINISRTY,AND I SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHT GOD THAT
I WILL NEVER FAIL YOU OR DISSAPOINT YOU.SIR BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT
I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ,I BEGGED MONEY TO COME TO THE CYBER CAFE TO
SEND YOU EMAIL.YOU REALLY NEED TO HELP ME WITH SOME MONEY AND TO
BECOME YOUR MAIN MEMBER. With monotonous regularity, again
another scammer tries to get a small bit of cash up front. And with
equal monotony I shall refuse!
SIR I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER FAIL YOU I SWEAR,I WILL DO ALL
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.BUT I WANT YOU TO PLEASE SEND ME SOME LITTLE
MONEY TO ARRANGE MYSELF HERE.I WILL ALSO LOVE TO HAVE YOUR BRANCH
HERE IN NIGERIA,DONT WORRY SIR I WILL DO ALL YOU NEED SIR I SWEAR
I WILL NOT DISOBEY YOUR COMMANDMENTS.I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP HERE
SIR.
I WILL EVEN LIKE US TO TAKE SOME OATH SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW
THAT I CANT FAIL YOU,I WILL ALWAYS DANCE TO YOUR TUNES SIR.MAY GOD
ALWAYS BLESS YOU AND YOUR MINISTRY IN JESUS.YOU WILL LIVE LONG AMEN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR FOR TAKING ME AS ONE OF YOUR MEMBER
IN NIGERIA.
GEORGE OCHONOGOR
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 19, 2005
Dear brother Ochonogor,
Thank you so much for your reply.
As you have requested, the induction information is as follows.
Please take care to follow the procedures very carefully. The four
church board members will decide on your donation amount which depends
on how strictly you have kept to our procedure.
The induction procedure, which we call "the baiting of the
faithful" should take very little time to complete. How long
this takes is completely up to you and how quickly you are able
to present the photographic evidence that you have completed our
procedure to the satisfaction of the four church board members.
As I told you previously, the faster that you are able to complete
the procedure the faster you will receive our financial help.
INSTRUCTIONS
1. I have attached a sample image of our induction logo. It bears
the name of our Saint, St. Bartholomew Shiver. Phase one of the
induction procedure is to have a copy of this logo tattooed onto
a part of your body.
2. You may choose the part of the body which you feel comfortable
with having the tattoo, however you must ensure that the completed
tattoo is large and clear so as to be able to be photographed clearly.
To aid you, I have also included a photograph of one of our recent
inductees, Mary Jane Branson. As you can see, Mary chose to have
the induction logo tattoo on her right shoulder.
3. You must ensure that photographs of as much of the tattooing
procedure are taken as possible. Take photographs of the various
steps of having the tattoo applied.
4. You must supply various photographs of the tattoo from different
viewing angles, and also a photograph of yourself for identification,
and if possible, showing the tattoo at the same time.
** VERY IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ CAREFULLY ***
You must understand that the tattoo MUST be a real tattoo, not a
drawing or other type of fake tattoo. In other words, being a real
tattoo you will of course have it with you for life, so it is important
that you are absolutely sure and happy about your decision to join
our church.
Of course, as you will know, real tattoos leave slight scarring
for the first few days until they heal. Photos MUST be supplied
so as to provide proof that a real tattoo has been applied. Sadly,
some people have tried to fool us by applying fake tattoos, but
I must warn you that our four man board are extremely diligent and
can recognise a fake tattoo very easily. If your tattoo shop need
it, we are happy to provide them with payment for their services
and allowing you to take photographs. Payment to the tattoo shop
can be up to US $1,000. If you provide us with a receipt after the
tattoo has been applied we will send payment to them immediately
the photographs have been received.
We require at minimum for you to send by email attachment HIGH QUALITY
PHOTOGRAPHS of the following:
1. The first stage of the tattoo being applied to the inductee.
If possible, photographs showing the tattoo artist actually applying
the tattoo would give great encouragement to the board members.
2. Photographs of the tattoo immediately after it has been completed,
so that the board members will be able to ascertain it is real because
of normal scarring or marking.
3. Photographs taken 24 hours later, showing the healed tattoo.
It is your decision what colour to make the tattoo, but please ensure
you choose a colour which can be photographed clearly. Most of our
members choose to have a black tattoo applied.
Please remember that MULTIPLE photographs are required, with at
least one close-up image so that the board members can determine
the tattoo to be real.
Again, it is entirely your decision what part of your body to have
the tattoo applied to. All you need to do is ensure the tattoo is
large and clear enough to be photographed clearly. Places that our
members usually choose are: arms, top of the legs, or back shoulders.
VERY IMPORTANT
I must stress to you again that the tattoo must be real, and the
photographs you send will be inspected very carefully to ensure
that they are. I am sorry that I have to keep repeating this to
you pastor but as I have already told you, sadly there are ungodly
people out in the world who try to take advantage of our church
by applying for donations by sending in fake photographs, this is
why it is very important that the photographs you send by email
attachment are very large and clear so that the validity of the
tattoos can be checked easily. Poor quality or small images will
be rejected by the board members.
Once we have received satisfactory photographs from you, we will
then send you a copy of the church induction application form. This
is a very simple form which the applicant must complete ad sign
with their name and date. Once the form has been returned to us
then your donation payment can be processed within 24 hours and
sent to you by whichever method best suits your means.
I offer one piece of advice brother; the board members usually give
larger donations depending on the size of the tattoo. So the larger
the tattoo the larger the donation payment is liable to be, but
the very minimum we send to help is $40,000 so as you can so you
will be able to do a lot of very good work with such an amount.
Of course, once you become a member you will be invited to our yearly
gathering here in the UK (your flight fees and expenses will of
course be paid by us) and you will be able to meet many of our members
and well as myself.
I hope that explains things clearly to you brother, and if you have
any questions please feel free to contact me any time.
Please will you reply to this email as soon as possible to let me
know when you expect to be able to email me the photographs. The
four board members work all across the UK so they will need to be
gathered to examine your photographs and make the donation payment.
This may take 2 or 3 days, so if I know in advance when you are
likely to be ready to send the photographs I can ensure that the
board members are gathered together in readiness for your photographs.
Please also let me know by what means you would prefer the donation
payment to be made.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
I attach the logo of the Tattooed Saint:
More feeble attempts at getting some cash up front.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 21, 2005
Subject: I WILL DRAW IT SIR
GOOD DAY SIR,
I HAVE AGREED TO DRAW MY TATTOO ,BUT THE PROBLEM
IS I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY TO DRAW IT.TO DRAW A TATTOO HERE IN NIGERIA
IS ABOUT $150 WHICH I DONT HAVE THE MONEY.ALL I WANT FROM YOU AS
A FATHER I WANT YOU TO HELP ME WITH JUST $150 SO THAT I CAN DRAW
MY TATTOO AND TO SNAP THE PICTURE,I PROMISE YOU SIR I WILL NEVER
DRAW A FAKE TATTOO . I SWEAR ONCE YOU HELP ME WITH THAT LITTLE MONEY
I WILL DO ALL WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO DO.
SIR PLEASE HELP SO THAT I WILL BECOME YOUR MEMBER,YOU
KNOW I DONT HAVE ANY BODY WHO CAN HELP HERE THAT IS WHY IM ASKING
FOR YOUR HELP.I WANT YOU TO SEND ME THE$150 SO THAT I WILL DRAW
MY TATTOED ONCE.YOU REALLY NEED TO HELP ME WITH THE MONEY.I PROMISE
I WILL DO IT VERY WELL IF YOU SEND THE MONEY TO ME.GOD BLESS YOU
AS YOU DO.
TO DRAW THE TATTOO IS NOT THE PROBLEM BUT THE MONEY
TO DRAW IT THAT IS MY PROBLEM,YOU KNOW I WILL SNAP THE PEOPLE WHEN
THEY ARE DRAWING THE PICTURE. THANK YOU SIR I WAIT FOR YOU QUICK
REPLY.GOD BLESS YOU AND I RELY ON YOUR HELP.
FROM YOUR SON GEORGE OCHONOGOR
Lets put a stop to these dumb requests right now.
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 21, 2005
Dear brother Ochonogor,
Thank you for your email.
I am sorry my brother but it seems we can no longer help each other.
It was made very clear to you in my previous emails that my church
can not pay any money in advance of receiving the photographic proof.
I am afraid you will have to find another benefactor, I can no longer
help you in your current situation, it is against my church rules
and I will never go against the rules of my church.
I wish you much luck finding somebody else who can help you.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 22, 2005
Subject: FORGIVE ME FOR MAKING YOU ANGRY
GOOD DAY SIR,
I AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU ANGRY WITH ME ,PLEASE
DONT BE MAD AT ME .SIR I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING FIRST BEFORE
I DRAW MY TATTOO.
I HAVE GOOTTEN SOME ONE WHO WILL DRAW IT FOR ME ON CREDIT,BUT WHAT
THEY USED HERE IN DRAWING IT IS (NIDDLE).CAN HE USED IT TO DRAW
IT SIR.IT WILL BE REAL NOT A FAKE ONE.
I WILL SEND YOU 4 COPY OF THE PHOTOGRAPH BUT YOU
HAVE TO WAIT FROM NOW TILL FRIDAY OR SATURDAY THIS WEEK.PLEASE SIR
I WILL NEVER MAKE YOU ANGRY AGAIN,FORGIVE ME.THE BOY WHO WANT TO
HELP ME TO DRAW IT, SAID I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT HE WOULD LOVE TO
BE YOUR MEMBER OF YOUR CHURCH.
FATHER PLEASE HELP ME I WLL BE YOUR MEMBER.
SIR CAN WE USED NIDDLE TO DRAW THE TATTOED BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT
WE USED HERE IN NIGERIA.PLEASE I WANT YOU TO REPLY ME QUICKLY SO
THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR PICTURES AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
YOU WILL SEE THE BLOOD AND EVERYTHING IN MY HAND WHEN HE IS
DRAWING IT SIR.IT WILL NEVER BE FAKE SIR.I AM STILL YOUR MEMBER
HERE.I WILL BRING MORE MEMBER TO YOU ,IF YOU HELP ME SIR.
THANKS MAY GOD BLESS YOU SIR.
GEORGE OCHONOGOR.
I RELY ON YOUR HELP AND YOUR QUICK REPLY.
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 22, 2005
Dear brother Ochonogor,
Thank you for your email.
You did not make me angry, so do not worry yourself over that. When
writing it is very hard to convey emotions and it is easy to mistake
the intentions of a letter.
I look forward to receiving your photographs. Please ensure the
images are clear and large, and remember that at least one close
up image is required by my board members.
In the meantime, please make a note of this reference number: 1178291-115
This is your payment reference number and you will have to ensure
you remember it because you will need to quote it to use when you
tell us how you wish to receive your payment at the end of this
process. Without this reference number we cannot make that payment
to you/
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 22, 2005
Subject: CAN THEY BE MEMBERS OF YOUR CHURCH?
DEAR FATHER,
I WILL BRING MORE MEMBER TO YOUR CHURCH SIR,DONT
WORRY THINGS WILL BE FINE HERE IN NIGERIA.I HAVE ALREADY STARTED
YOUR WORK HERE .SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY READY TO JOIN OUR CHURCH,
So it's "our" church now is it George?!
WHY SOME ARE TELL ME THAT IM A LIAR,I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO
DO NOW TO THOSE WHO ARE READY TO JOIN OUR MINISTRY.
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO SIR PLEASE,I DONT WANT THEM
TO SAY THAT OUR CHURCH IS NOT REAL.I HAVE SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE READY
TO JOIN US,BUT THEY ARE YOUTH LIKE ME CAN THEY BE A MEMBER OF OUR
CHURCH. IF YES TELL ME WHAT TO TELL THEM SIR.
THANK YOU SIR, YOU WILL GET IT SOON SIR ,HOPE WE CAN USED NIDDLE
(!?) TO DRAW IT YOU WILL SEE EVERYTHING SIR.
THANKS
GOD BLESS YOU FATHER CORBIN
I don't bother to reply to George. I'll leave him to find his
"niddle".
Looks like the deed has been done.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 23, 2005
Subject: THE PHOTO WILL BE HERE SOON
GOOD DAY SIR,
I HAVE SNAP THE PICTURES,I WILL SEND THEM TO YOU AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE,MAY BE TODAY OR TOMMORO,WHAT WE USED HERE IN DRAWING TATTOO
IS NEDDLE ,CAN YOU PEOPLE COLLECT THAT TYPE.
I WILL SEND YOU 4 COPIES OF THE PHOTOGRAPH ,IF I HAVE THE MONEY
TODAY.TRY TO REPLY ME BACK SO THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT.
THANKS
Before I have time to reply, the picture arrive. Looks like
George is on a tight budget!
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 23, 2005
Subject: THE PICTURES
HERE ARE THE PHOTOGHRAPHS,WHAT IS THE NEXT THING FOR ME TO DO.THANK
YOU VERY MUCH,BUT YOU NEED TO SEND ME SOME MONEY TO PAY THE GUY
THAT HELP ME TO DRAW THE TATTO,INCLUDING THE MONEY FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHER.
P[LEASE YOU NEED TO SEND ME LITTLE MONEY TO SETTLE THEM ALL.
WHEN ARE YOU SENDING MY FORM.
GOD BLESS YOU FATHER CORBIN.
George attaches the pictures:
Well, as we can see, that "tattoo" is totally unacceptable.
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 24, 2005
Dear brother Ochonogor,
Thank you for sending your pictures to me this afternoon.
The photographs will now be passed on to our charity awards department,
headed by Father Jack Hackett. He will be checking the photographs
for authenticity and then he will contact you very shortly to give
you his decision. Once he has confirmed that he is happy with the
pictures you have sent then the donation payment will be made to
you immediately.
Please note that Father Hackett is not English so forgive his slightly
strange use of the English language. Although he has spent nearly
10 years in our country his English skills are not very good.
Please let me know the exact details of how you would like the donation
payment to be made to you.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
George is impatient to receive what is coming to
him.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 24, 2005
Subject: TATOOO BILLS
GOOD DAY SIR,
PLEASE YOU CAN SEND MY DONATIONS THROUGH WESTERN
UNION ,DELTA STATE NIGERIA.BUT FIRST I WANT YOU TO PLEASE SEND ME
SOME MONEY TO SETTLE THE TATTOO ARTIST AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER MAN.THEY
ARE DISTURBING ME HERE SERIOUSLY AND YOU KNOW I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY.
YOU PROMISE TO PAY THE MONEY OF THE TATOOO AFTER
DRAWING ,BUT I SEE NO MONEY PLEASE SIR HELP IN THE NAME OF GOD SO
THAT I CAN PAY THEM THEIR MONEY.WHEN EVER YOU WANT TO SEND ME MY
OWN DONATION LET ME KNOW.
HOPE YOU KNOW YOU TOLD ME THAT IF YOU SEE THE PHOTOGRAPH PROOF
YOU WILL SETTLE THE TATTOO ARTIST,BUT NOW SEE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH
ME HERE THEY ARE TROUBLING ME.WHEN YOU ARE READY TO SEND ME MY DONATIONS
LET ME KNOW FIRST SO THAT I CAN LOOK FOR SOMEBODY TO HELP TO COLLECT
IT THROUGH WESTERN UNION OR THROUGH IS ACCOUNT.FATHER YOU REALLY
NEED TO HELP ME.
Father Hackett HAS NOT YET GET BACK TO ME,WHAT WILL I DO WITH
REFERENCE NUMBER WHICH YOU GAVE TO ME THE OTHER DAY.WHERE IS THE
FORM .
THANKS FATHER CORBIN
GEORGE OCHONOGOR
N.B
WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT MY PICTURES,ARE THEY OK. PLS SEND ME THE MONEY
TO PAY THE TATOO ARTTIST AND PHOTOGRAPHER
GOD BLESS YOU SIR.
Fear not George. Father Jack Hackett is now on the case, and
some asses will get kicked if he's not happy. Father Jack shares
the same name and facial features as a priest in the UK TV series
"Father Ted" but I'm sure that's just a coincidence!
Jack is also "down wiv da kidz"!
From: Father Jack Hackett
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 25, 2005
Yo mi bruvva Ochonoga,
Mi name is old geeza jack ackett and I am da ead of da charity awards
division of da church of da tattooed saint.
Man, i saw da photographs dat yous sent to us and wot can i say
bro? Geeza yous must ave bin for real smacked out on erbal redemies
whun yous did ave dat tattoo done. Da tattoos is totally unacceptable
and quite frankly it seems to me dat yous is avin a massiv joke
wiv our church.
It is impossible to check da tattoo clearly as it as bin done so
badly. I am sorry but da church will unda no circumstances accept
dat as a real and acceptable tattoo. Man, I deal wiv people every
day who go to da time and aggro to get themselves ready to join
wiv our church. One lady by the name of Annov Cleaves walked nearly
112 miles to meet wiv us and arrange to ave a tattoo produced professionally.
Dis wicked (but large) mama saved fa 5 months, takin on an extra
2 jobs to be able to afford da fees fa da tattoo. Fa a magnificent
devotion to our church, three days ago she was awarded $47,250 and
invited to one of our weekly cattle strangulation ceremonies.
I ave attached a picture of myself wiv dis wicked biatch to dis
email so dat yous can check fa yourself wot true devotions dis chick
has got. Now, please get back to me as soon as possible to explain
pacifically wot yous intend to do to correct your poa efforts.
God be wiv ya,
Father Jack Hackett
Charity Awards Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
I took a random picture of a priest I found on
the Internet and added a new head, as well as changing the facial
features of all the people in the image.
George sends a frantic message to Father Corbin.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Bruce Corbin
Date: November 25, 2005
Subject: WHY THIS ALL
good day,
Father Hackett replied me this morning tell me
that i did a fake tatooo,and what i did is real and everlasting,i
told you before i draw my tattoo here,that what we used in drawing
tattoo is niddle,in a local way.you know i dont have money to travel
to the city for international tattooo.
infact i dont know what to say or to do,right now
im confused of what to do. we dont have the machine that they used
in drawing tatoo here what we used is needle. So what happened
to the niddle George?
how will i get money to settle the photogrphers and the local tatoo
artist,i have put mtself into trouble now,why will i draw a fake
tatooo and tell you is real.dont i have a sence,please tell me what
to do next ,and where will i get money to settle them,if you can
help me with anything to settle them please help me. you that i
came to you as a begger the first time ,you did not have any mercy
for me at all,look at what i going through right now.
you dont used to reply me as you used to before,please tell
me what is going on.
father corbin help me please.
I send the following "automated" reply to George from
Father Corbin:
*** THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE ***
Dear Sir or Madam,
Thank you for your email.
I apologise but I am out of my office for the moment. I am taking
a sabbatical in Las Vegas for two weeks and shall not return until
December the 8th.
If you require urgent attention then please try the other contact
email addresses on our church website.
Thank you and God bless you.
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
*** THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE ***
George then replies to Father Hackett.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Jack Hackett
Date: November 25, 2005
Subject: WHAT
Father Hackett ,
YOU DONT NEED TO TREAT ME THIS WAY PLEASE,I DID
THAT TATOOO REAL AND EVERLASTING,NOW SEE WHAT YOU ARE TELL ME,YOU
SAID I DID A FAKE TATOO,DONT YOU SEE THE INJURING IN THE PHOTOGRAPH,WHERE
WILL I GET THE MONEY TO SETTLE THE PHOTOGRAPHER INCLUDING THE ARTIST
OF THE TATTOO.
PLEASE Father Hackett YOU NEED TO HELP ME WITH $500 TO SETTLE THE
PHOTOGRAPHER AND THE ARTIST.PLEASE WILL LOVE TO DRAW ANOTHER TATTOOO
BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE DONT HAVE THE PLACE WHERE THEY USED MACHINE
THE PLACE IS FAR FROM MY STATE.
TRUST ME Father Hackett . IF YOU REFUSE THAT ONE I NEED TO DRAW
AGAIN BUT YOU NEED TO SEND ME THAT MONEY TO SETTLE THE PHOTOGRAPHER
AND THE FIRST ARTIST.YOU CANT TELL ME THAT $500 WILL STOP YOU FROM
NOT HELPING ME.
THANKS FATHER HACKETT.
Father Jack replies to George.
From: Father Jack Hackett
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 25, 2005
Yo mi bruvva ochonoga, ows it angin?
I am not doubtin dat da tattoo is real bruvva. I did not tell yous
da tattoo was fake. I told yous dat da tattoo was unacceptable as
it as bin so well badly done. I cannot believe fa one moment dat
anyone would charge yous any money fa a sorry-ass job such as dat.
Da main man dat applied da tattoo fa yous is obviously a complete
amateur and as no experience whatsoeva of wot a real tattoo is supposed
to look like, yo.
Take a check at dis image Georgy:
Yous will recognise da image above as da church logo which we require
to ave tattooed onto our members
Now check at dis image:
Dis is (apparently) da "tattoo" dat yous did ave placed
on your arm. can yous check any similarity to our church logo at
all? No one would recognise da image on your arm as our church logo,
it's a bag of shite to be onest main man.
I cannot understand why yous employed such an amateur lunatic to
apply da tattoo. By doin such a fin yous is denyin your entry into
our church and deprivin yourself of angin wiv many wicked people,
such as old geeza Father Frolic Ruffly whose picture I ave attached
below. As yous can check, we can for real get down and do da deed
just dig old geeza Ruffly, and yous is not in da house out on all
dis just by attemptin to pass off a lumpy arm as a tattoo.
I is awaitin your cringeworthly reply.
God be with you,
Father Jack Hackett
Charity Awards Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
I attach a slightly edited picture of Father Frolic Ruffly:
George then surprises me by actually agreeing to a new tattoo.
I thought my antics above would have scared him off.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Jack Hackett
Date: November 25, 2005
Subject: WHAT
GOOD DAY SIR,
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW ,WHAT IS ON MY MIND IS TO
GO AND PREPARE A NICE TATTO FOR YOU SIR.PLEASE JUST GIVE ME SOMETIME
TO ARRANGE FOR A NEW TATTOO FOR YOU.
I DONT WANT YOU TO BE ANGRY WITH ME BUT IS NOT
MY FAULT.WHAT WE USED HERE IS NEDDLE,BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU TO WAIT
FOR ME TO ARRANGE A NEW ONE ON MY LEG OR BACK.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR,
GEORGE
Father Jack agrees to a "compromise"!
From: Father Jack Hackett
To: George Ochonogor
Date: November 25, 2005
Dear bruvva George,
I am chilled dat yous ave at least decided to concede dat a new
tattoo is required, therefore I is made to try to help make fings
easia fa yous.
It seems yous is avin some aggro checkin a tattoo maka who as some
skill, so ere is mi my suggestion to yous: If yous is made to ave
da tattoo placed onto your back, and in large letterin then instead
of puttin in da more complitaced church logo yous may if yous wish
just ave da single word SHIVER tattooed. Howeva, if yous agree to
dis then it must be placed on your back and da letters must be large
and clear.
If yous is in agreement to dat thun please notify me whun yous
expect to be able to ave such a tattoo applied.
God be with you,
Father Jack Hackett
Charity Awards Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
After a delay of over a week George decides to contact Father
Corbin to scam a bit of spare change.
From: George Ochonogor
To: Father Jack Hackett
Date: December 3, 2005
Subject: YOU KNOW I AM A BEGGAR
DEAR Father Jack Hackett ,
WELL I HAVE TIRED ALL MY BEST TO GET MONEY TO TRAVEL
TO DRAW YOUR TATTOO BUT NO ONE HERE SEEMS TO HELP ME ,I HAVE BEGGED
PEOPLE AROUND NOBODY WANT TO HELP ME.
PLEASE SIR HELP ME WITH $500 FOR ME TO LOOK FOR A
REAL ARTIST TO DRAW MY TATOO,EVEN THE ONE THAT I DREW WHICH YOU
REJECTED I HAVE NOT PAY FOR
THAT ONE INCLUDING THE PHOTOGRAPHS.
SIR WHY CANT YOU HELP ME ,DONT YOU SEE THAT IM VERY
SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ISSUE,PLEASE SIR WHAT IS $500 THAT YOU CAN HELP
ME.PLEASE I PROMISE TO YOU ONCE YOU SEND IT I WILL DO EVERYTHING
WELL OK.GOD BLESS YOU AMEN
GEORGE
Time for Father Corbin to lay down the law to George.
From: Father Bruce Corbin
To: George Ochonogor
Date: December 3, 2005
Dear brother Ochonogor,
Thank you for your email.
Read this VERY carefully because it is the last time that I will
tell you this. I have already explained this to you THREE times
already:
I cannot help you financially or spiritually unless you are a member
of our church. If you cannot complete the induction procedure correctly
then you are not a member of our church, therefore we cannot help
you.
Please do not keep asking me for money because it is the LAW of
my church that we do not help people who are not members of our
church. Do you seriously expect me to break one of the most important
laws of my church? No, this will never never never happen.
I am sorry, but there is at least $30,000 waiting here for you to
help you, however if you are unable to help yourself then perhaps
you do not deserve to be a member with us?
I am sorry to sound so harsh, however I made it perfectly clear
to you before you started that we cannot help you until you are
a member.
God be with you,
Father Bruce Corbin
Accounts Department
Holy Church of The Tattooed Saint
Not sure if George will notice that Father Corbin
actually replied to his email when it should have been Jack Hackett,
and also, Father Corbin is supposed to be in Las Vegas until the
8th of December!
UPDATE: 24/1/2006
Unfortunately after numerous attempts to get George
to reply he never did. I guess I stretched him a little too far.
I'll have another crack at him after giving him
a few weeks rest, though I suspect George no longer has much confidence
in The Church of The Tattooed Saint!
END.
Please help to
support this site.
|
