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Title: OWN GOAL!
Scammer Name: EBI GARR
Submitted By: SHIVER METIMBERS

 

PART TWO

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Thursday, February 19, 2004 7:23 PM
Subject: PHOTOGRAPH:AUTHUR

Dear Authur,

Thanks for the all the understanding you have on us and the faith, the photograph you see can tell you how we are really willing for your help. the photograph i hope it will be ok by you due to the short time being geving to us i hope you understand .

The other phhotograph you see is me , as you can the pitch behind is not well good for us. well you can see the spelling of the ARES BANDIT was not well correct due to the artis that did it, it was his fult and we don't have much time to correct it that why we have to use it. please i'm sorry for that i hope you understand.

I will be waiting for reply ASAP becos i will not like this chance to pass my club so we can become better team and club to help orders.

please authur i will like you to consider my club due to the mistake we have made.

regards
Ebi Garr

[A very disappointing set of pictures arrive]

[NO! NO! NO! This just WILL NOT do at all. Time to admonish Ebi!]

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your images but I am afraid I have to tell you that after all the careful explanations I gave you I am extremely disappointed by the pictures you have sent. I shall go through the problems one by one.


1. The images are MUCH to small. Such small images are unacceptable. I will not show them to the donation committee because I know they will be rejected immediately. Unless the image is VERY LARGE and VERY CLEAR then you will be wasting you time as it will be rejected.

2. The images are very grainy and over compressed, resulting again in a very degraded image. As I stressed previously, the images must be LARGE and CLEAR

3. As you have noted, the spelling is wrong. It should read, ARSE BANDIT

4. Again as stipulated previously, there must be at least TWENTY members.

5. You have only made one sign. As stipulated in my previous emails, EACH member has to hold his own sign. So for instance if you had twenty members, you will need twenty signs so that each member can hold his own sign. You may use a sheet of A4 paper to make the individual signs, but make sure that the text is CLEAR to see.


Ebi, I am sorry to have to reject your images, but we are talking about a lot of money here. You may not be aware but Mr. Adwele has not sent his images in time, and also has not answered any of my reminders, therefore I can tell you that the amount of money that can be donated to you upon a SATISFACTORY image being received is $93,770.00 (ninety three thousand, seven hundred and seventy dollars).

You may feel that I am being very critical of your images, but you have to realise that there is $93,770.00 at stake here, and for such a donation we must insist on a satisfactory image. The ones supplied are nowhere near good enough. The donation committee are very hard to please in such cases and I know that such small and unclear images will be rejected without question.

Having said all that, I can see that you have made some effort to send the pictures so I am willing to give you more time to get a more professional photograph prepared. As you know I have to fly to a conference in Alaska, but if you are still willing to provide a suitable image then I will let my personal assistant Mr. Charles Brocket handle everything in my absence, that way you will have more time to forward a more adequate image.

If you are still willing to try to send a more acceptable image, please send all further emails to my personal assistant Charles Brocket. His email address is brocket@xxxxx.co.uk I will forward all the required information on to him.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Saturday, February 21, 2004 11:34 AM
Subject: Thanks

dear authur,
Thanlks for mailing back i was very happy when you gave us time to get a more understanding phtograph i will see what i can do by sending it to your assistance i will mail him later and send the clear photograph to him. please i will want all infromation about me being giving to him so we don't have to start allover.

Thanks and have a good time in alaska.
Ebi garr

 

 

[I can't reply, I'm now in Alaska. My 'automated service' replies...]

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

*** THIS IS A AUTOMATED REPLY SYSTEM - PLEASE DO NOT REPLY AS YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A ANSWER ***

 

Dear Sir/Madam,

My thanks for your email. I am sorry but I am not available to reply to your email as I am attending a conference overseas.

Your email has automatically been forwarded to my Personal Assistant Charles Brocket. He will reply to your message shortly.

Thank you,

Arthur Dent.
Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

[UK readers may recognise the name of Charles Brocket. He was one of the contestants in this years ITV show "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!"]

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Mr. Ebi.

Good afternoon to you sir.

My name is Charles Brocket and I am the Personal Assistant to Arthur Dent. Your email was forwarded to me a few minutes ago.

As you are probably aware, Mr. Dent Left his office this morning to fly to a conference in Alaska and will be away for some weeks. I have been given all the relevant information regarding your donation and I am fully up-to-date with the arrangements.

I believe Mr. Dent and the committee are waiting a new photograph from you. I have not seen the previous images that you sent but I was made aware that the images were regarded as being too small and unclear? I have been given full directions on the way the photographs need to be presented so if you need any further information please do not hesitate to let me know although I have been told you have all the instructions you need. However, if there is an area that you are unsure of I will be most happy to help.

If you are able to let me know when you expect to be able to send your new picture/s then that would be very helpful. I am in constant contact with Mr. Dent and on receipt of a satisfactory photograph I have been given full powers to award the payment immediately.

With warm regards,

Charles Brocket.
PA. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, February 22, 2004 2:10 PM
Subject: Hello Charles:Ebi

Dear Charles,

thanks for your mail i was very glad when i got you mail, with all information that Dent have giving to you.
All the information i need to give a good photograph have being give to me by Dent, i will see what i can do about the photograph this week.

please charles i will be very greatful if you let know when the commitiee will be holding the nest meeting so i can send the photograph before then.

thanks Charles for you unstanding.

regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your email.

For your information the next committee meeting is scheduled for the 28th of this month. After that the next meeting is on the 19th of March.

Sincerely,

Charles Brocket, PA
Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Monday, February 23, 2004 1:46 PM
Subject: Thanks for the infor:charles

Dear charles,

Thanks for the information , i will see what i can do before 28 i have contacted all memeber of my club together may the photograph will be taken today.

regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your positive response. I shall ensure Mr. Dent is made aware of your efforts to complete the procedure quickly..

Kind regards,

Charles Brocket, PA
Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 4:11 PM
Subject: Question

dear chales,

Thanks for the replying ASAP but i will like to ask one question i don't know if you can tell the size of the image becosi will like to have a good and clear image,sorry for asking this but Mr dent did not give me any so i want to know if you have an ideal of the image.

i will be very glad to get an answer from you ASAP.
regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your email.

To help you I have attached a photograph which we ourselves took during a personal donation presentation last month. Obviously the signs are different because the framed signs are in fact our donation certificates (these are given after the donation procedure has been successful), but it will give you some idea of the type of quality image we are expecting.

I hope that this will help you.

Sincerely,

Charles Brocket, PA.

[OK, so I searched the Internet for a picture featuring a group of people in a suitable pose. As luck would have it I found a great picture of a group of people appearing at a works presentation. They were all holding framed award certificates, absolutely perfect for my purposes. After a little editing I sent Ebi the picture...]


Click to enlarge (85k)

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 6:54 PM
Subject: Thanks:charles.

dear charles,

Thanks for the image you sent me i'm really very happy to let you know that i have all the information of how the image will look like. but i don't think my club will have the money to put the word ARSE BANDIT in a frame . Mr Dent told me just to use A4 sheet to write the word so what do you think about that.i will be waiting for your reply.

Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

You misunderstand me. There is NO NEED to put the name in a frame. I only sent you the picture so that you would know what SIZE and QUALITY picture we expect. The way that you write down the name is entirely up to you, it is your choice. The only thing we ask is that each person holds a sign and that each sign is clear.

Kind regards.,

Charles Brocket, PA

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:37 PM
Subject: Thanks:charles.

DEAR CHARLES,
THANKS FOR THE MAIL AND ALL THE INFORMATION THAT HAVE BEEN GIVING TO ME BY YOU.
THE PHOTOGRAPH WILL BE SENT ASAP TO YOU.
EBI GARR.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your response and I am glad that the misunderstanding has been cleared up.

Please could you let me know when you expect to have the photograph ready? I will be speaking to Mr. Dent later this evening and he may ask me about your progress.

Sincerely.

Charles Brocket, PA
Arse bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 5:37 PM
Subject: Re: Thanks:charles.

dear chaeles,

Thanks for the question i will be sending the photograph on 27 th of this month which is on friday.

Ebi Garr.

 

 

[The 27th arrives, and so does another excuse]

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Friday, February 27, 2004 3:51 PM
Subject: Re: Thanks:charles.

dear charles,

i'm very sorry for keeping you waiting for the photograph but it's due the to the fult we are having here the photograph have been takeing but we are have problem with the scaner i wiil send the photograph ASAP when every thing is ok .

i will like to ask how is Mr Dent doing over there at alaska please tell him when you get contact with him that i send my greetings that every thing with the photograph will be ok ASAP.

i hope you understand i will be waiting for your reply ASAP.
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

May I remind you that the Donation Committee meets for the final time on the evening of the 29th of this month (Sunday). If your photograph is received after that date, there will be a three week delay before your donation can be approved.

Kind regards,

Charles Brocket
PA. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

[Well, Ebi is too late for the Donation Committee's meeting. Guess I'll be waiting even longer for the pic!]

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, February 29, 2004 9:06 AM
Subject: Re: INFO:charles.

dear charles,

Thanks for reminding me about the meeting of the comittee i will see waht i can do about that becos we are having problem with the scaner but ASAP when we re thru i will send the photograph to you.

thanks for the mail.

Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: INFO:charles.

dear charles,

how are you today i hope fine anyway i just want to let yu know that the photograph will be send befor 19of the month i hope you unstand the condition of things over here.

i will mail you back when i have more time.

Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Charles Brocket, PA
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your email.

I must stress that the meeting on the 19th of March is the last of our financial year. There will be no further committee meeting after this until the 24th of August, so it is imperative that you get your photograph to us before the 19th of this month. In fact, the latest date to complete the entire donation would be the 17th of this month because the qualification procedure will take two days.

It would be of great help to me if you would be able to give me a firm date for the arrival of your photograph. Mr. Dent has been discouraged by the long delay.

With kind regards,

Charles Brocket
PA. Arse bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Saturday, March 06, 2004 12:10 PM
Subject: Thanks:charles.

dear charles,
Thanks for the information you passed unto me , to say i was very happy when i saw your mail.

Due to the information i will likely to say that the photograph will me sent to you ASAP i will make sure of that. [Yeah, yeah. I've heard that enough times already!]

Thanks for your reminder God will bless you for that Amen.

regards
Ebi Garr

 

 

[Arthur's back from Alaska, and he wants to know when this bloody picture is arriving]

From: Arthur Dent, MD.
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

How are you? This is Arthur Dent.

I am just letting you know that I have now returned from my conference in Alaska. My personal assistant Charles Brocket has kept me well informed as to your progress.

As you have already been told, the final meeting of the Donation Committee will be on the 19th of this month (March), therefore is you are to qualify for the donation payment then you must send in your photograph *before* this date. The meeting on the 19th is the last meeting of our financial year and they Donation Committee do not convene again until the end of August.

[Time to let Ebi know that there is another scammer on the horizon after his money. Perhaps this will get him to move faster]

Ebi, please let me know if you will be able to send your picture before the 19th because we have received another application for a donation from a sports ministry in Cote D'Ivoire. If you are unable to send in your picture then I am afraid we will have to proceed swiftly to help our other applicant because they have already informed me that they can have their photograph ready within 24 hours of our asking.

Please get back to me ASAP as this is very important and time is running short. After the 19th of this month I am afraid there is nothing more I can do for you.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Friday, March 12, 2004 9:20 AM
Subject: Re: URGENT

Dear Arthur,

i'm very happy to see your mail thanks for the reminder in fact i will be able send my photograph is due to the scaner we are having here ASAP i wll send the photograph to you on monday,

Please Dent i will like you to consider my club for we don't want his chance to pass us by i will be very greatful if you put us into considiration .

Thanks for the reminder.
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent, MD.
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your email.

I am sorry to hear about the problems with the scanner. Perhaps you have a friend who can scan the picture for you, or maybe you have an Internet cafe that can offer such facilities?

Ebi, I will be very happy indeed for you to receive this donation. I can see that you have tried very hard to get the information required. It would personally make me happy to see you get what you deserve. [Happy indeed!] However, I have to tell you that the decision is not for me alone to make. It is true that I am the owner of the club and business, but due to very strict charity laws here in the UK your donation must be approved firstly by the donation committee before I am able to award you the $93,770.00 (ninety three thousand, seven hundred and seventy dollars) so it is vitally important that you get the picture to me very quickly indeed. After the 19th of this month I am unable to process your claim for another 5 months (August 2004).

Ebi, I believe that my assistant Charles Brocket has already sent you an example picture which shows the kind of size and quality we expect, but if you have any further questions about the picture please do not hesitate to get in touch with me and ask.

Because we are getting so close to the final date for submissions it is vitally important that you fully understand the type of image that is required. If you need any further advice (such as scammer or image settings) then please let me know and I will get some information from the technicians in my computer departments. I have included some simple instructions below.

With kind regards,

Arthur Dent
Arse Bandit PLC.

 

*** SCANNING INSTRUCTIONS ***


1. Set the scanning software to scan at a MINIMUM resolution of 200 DPI (Dots Per Inch) then scan in your original photograph.

2. Once the photograph has been successfully scanned, resize the photograph to approximately 1,000 (one thousand) pixels in WIDTH.

3. Save the image as a JPG image but be sure to make the JPG compression set to a minimum. If the image has the compression set too high the result will be a blocky and unclear image. Blocky or blurry images will be REJECTED.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Saturday, March 13, 2004 11:08 AM
Subject: Thank you

Dear Arthur,

I'm very happy for the information and all the faith that you have in my club anyway thanks for the ideal you gave me i will see what i can do about finding an internet cafe in my area i'm very lucky to have the use of internet in my club.
i don't no what to say but thanks for every thing you done for my club.

Mr dent i will send you the photograph as soon as posible before monday, it's weekend so i will see what i can do.

Sorry for the delay it was due to some things here i went to register my club for our inter state compitision which is starting on the 29 of this month, please i will like you to send my greeting to charles brocket your PA.

I will mail you back later today if i have the chance of scanning the photograph.
regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, March 14, 2004 2:31 PM
Subject: Please reply

Dear Arthur,

Happy sunday to you i just want to let you know that the photograph will be sent to you tommrow i got a friend how has an internet cafe that will help me can the photograph.

please Dent i will like you to reply to my e-mail to keep my faith going and memebers of my club. Like i said we are the chance of playing for the inter state compitision which is starting on the 29 of this month. we have our first game on the 30 becos we are in group B in the compitision.

I will be waiting for your reply as soon as posible . like i said thnaks for all the time and faith you have on my club i don't what to say but Thanks.

regards
Ebi Garr

 

 

From: Arthur Dent, MD.
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

My thanks for keeping me well informed of your progress. As soon as your photograph is received tomorrow I will contact you immediately. I presume you will be in your office all day tomorrow?

Once the photograph has been verified as suitable I will immediately forward you the agreement form via email attachment. All that is required then is for you to sign and date the form and return it to me and then the donation can be paid out immediately.

If you also forward me your full mailing address I can have my secretary post you various brochures and booklets about my company. It will give you much more information about the type of business we do and there are many photographs of the inner-city projects we have currently been helping to develop.

I look forward to receiving your image tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

[At last! A great image arrives. I reach another peronal milestone in the fight against scammer scum!]

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, March 14, 2004 2:31 PM
Subject: Please reply

Dear Arthur,

Thanks for the e-mail you sent i have goting the photograph scan which is under the message i hope this meet a satifactry photograph,this will tell you how we are really in need of your help.

Please Dent i will like you to understand if there is any erro in the photograph, i will like you to consider my club and i hope the photograph have meet to the satifaction of the committee.

I have tried to make sure that have the correct test question ARSE BANDIT with all memebers of my club holding his own sing please consider my club.

Thanks for every thing you done for my club please i will be waiting for your reply as soon as posible,

Regards
Ebi Garr.


Click to enlarge (135k)

WELL DONE EBI!

 

 

[I need a day's thinking time. I send Ebi an 'automated reply']

From: Arthur Dent, MD.
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

*** AUTOMATED REPLY ***

Dear Sir/Madam,

My thanks for your email. Unfortunately I am out of the office now. I shall return at 8:30AM tomorrow morning.

I will endeavour to reply to you then.

Kind regards,

Mr. Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Arthur Dent, MD.
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

My thanks for the picture you sent yesterday. I apologise for the late reply but your picture arrived whilst I was out of the office.

I am happy to tell you that the donation committee have accepted the photograph, and we can now proceed to the second and final phase of your donation. I will shortly send you an agreement form which as I have explained before you will need to complete and sign. Once this is received then we can get on to the matter of forwarding you the funds.

[Although I am quite happy with the picture Ebi sent to me, I wonder if I can get a higher resolution version suitable for me to frame to put on my desk?!]

This next matter is not so important, and is not needed for the donation but it would be appreciated if you could ask for the photograph to be scanned again at a higher resolution (the person who did the scan for you will understand this). Although the picture you send it was acceptable, it would be appreciated if you could send a version of the photograph that has been scanned at a higher resolution so as to make the image more detailed. Perhaps if it can be re-scanned and send to me at a size of about 2,000 pixels wide. There is no point in just resizing the current picture as the enlarged image would decrease in quality. As I have said, this is NOT a requirement, and you will still get the donation payment. It would just be looked on with great favour if you are able to do this.

I will forward the agreement to you later today Ebi. I have a very important meeting to attend to this afternoon, so once it has been completed I will send the agreement for to you as a attachment.

Once thing I require before I send the form is that you confirm to me the following:

Your FULL name.
Your Full address
Your contact telephone number if any.

I will write again soon.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.