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Title: OWN GOAL!
Scammer Name: EBI GARR
Submitted By: SHIVER METIMBERS

 

A tale of a great football (or as our American friends call it 'Soccer'!) club, and our efforts to help the sporting scammers of Nigeria!

A word of warning, getting my result was a long, long drawn out affair! Are you sitting (very) comfortably? Then let us begin:

 

From: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Date: Tuesday, January 20, 2004 4:54 PM
Subject: WE NEED YOUR HELP.

CHILD CARE ASSOCIATION OF GHANA/NIGERIA.
We take care of children in nigeria and order country in africa,children ofaccident victims, operation neeeded deseases e.g apendix,......

the association was founded by some good citizen of ghana/nigeria individualy to help the children of the africa,the african child needs help, because of the nature of poverty in africa.The association is finace individualy by good peoples from ghana/nigeria but we have facilities problem and finace which we need your help on helping these children .
We are mailing you just because we know you can help these children
with anything you have,because your help can save the live of these
children.The association have to pay their school bills and order development thesechildren.just about $5000 (us doller)we are asking your help in hand so we can make the africa a better place for the children.Anything you send will be acceptable that's why we don't have to bill anybody we just want you to give as your mind will tell you to give, as humans who care about the tommrow of children swimming in poverty.We're writing you because we know your penny can save the lives of this children,and as you do your best God will bless you mightily.Thanks for your help .thanks for reading this mail and we will wait for your reply contact address:ccogn2001@yahoo.com
phone : +234-8033923849.
seiyefa.e.obokoro (DR)

[Yes, I know it's a different name to the one in the title, but hang on and you will get the picture]

[I decided at this point to see if it was possible to turn things complately around and see if I could take this scammer on a different track. It was easier than expected...]

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro

Dear Seiyefa,

Your sad case interests me. Sadly my company (Arse Bandit PLC) only donate to sporting organisations. We are the UK's leading donator to sports facilities and organisations and we also own the UK's 4th largest football club, Arse Bandit United.

If you have a branch of your organisation that promotes sporting activity then I may be able to help with a large donation (possibly around $90,000,00 Dollars), but unless you have such a branch then I am afraid I cannot help you.

My sincere regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse bandit PLC.

[I'm taking a wild guess that Seiyefa might just have a link with a sporting organisation!]

 

 

[Well what do you know? Looks like I can help after all!]

From: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:45 AM
Subject: ATTENTION:Arthur Dent

dear arthur,

the content of your lastmail, dated Tue, 20 Jan 2004, is noted and your determination to contribute to the social aspect of this organisation is noted, we menbers of the noble non-profit-organisation, based in the western region of africa, we have diffrent programm that we have in this organisation that our principle objective is to alliviate the suffering of the less priviledge children thru the help of good and kindhearted organisation like yours, we have the office of the youth and sport development that cater for the orphan and the director of sport will contact you in respect of this in our subsequent mail, i have forwarded your mail to the director of sport, and he will update you on all relevant informations and programs of his department, here is the email, add, sadwale@yahoo.com, and his name is DR SMITH ADEWALE, phone number 234-8036668537,

you can contact him and he will update you on activities of his department, and the youth programm, and sport development.

thanks
regards
DR OBOKORO

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro

Dear Dr. Obokoro,

Thank you for your reply.

Please feel free to ask Dr. Adewale to contact me if he feels that his department may benefit for our help. We are always willing to help to sponsor the development of sports wherever possible.

Please note that of course if a donation is requested we will need to receive some kind of proof of the existence of Dr. Adewale's development program. This should be a very simple matter and if Dr. Adewale contacts me then I can explain a simple way to prove his authenticity.

For your records, I have attached a photograph of our Reliant Stadium. This photograph was taken three weeks ago whilst preparing the stadium for a rock concert by the American rock group Trigger Happy.

With sincere regards,

Arthur Dent.
Arse bandit PLC.

[I attach a picture of 'my stadium']

 

 

[Surprise surprise. A short while later a letter comes in from a Mr. Adwele, director of sport. Strange thing is though, the email seems to originate from EXACTLY the same computer and location as Dr. Obokoro's. Surely the good doctor isn't trying to scam me?!]

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 5:04 PM
Subject: INFORMATION:ARTHUR.

SIR,

I HAVE BEEN DIRECTEED TO CONTACT YOU AND UPDATE YOU ON THE PROGRAMMS OF MY FOUNDATION, AND ACTIVITIES FOR THE YEAR, THIS FOUNDATION IS NON-PROFIT ORGANISATION BASED IN THE WESTERN REGION OF AFRICA, WE HAVE ESTABILISHED THIS DEPARTMENT TO CATER AND UPLIFT SPORT, IN THIS FOUNDATION AS BRIDGE AND FORSTER UNITY IN THE FOUNDATION, IN THE COURSE OF THIS PROGRAM, WE HAVE ORGANISED LECTURE, SYMPOSSIUN, SEMINARS, AND TRAINING TO IMPROVE THE FOOTBALL TEAM AND OTHER SPORTING ACTIVITIES OF THE FOUNDATION.

PRESENT THE SOURCE OF FUNDING THIS ORGANISATION COMES FROM THE FOUNDATION, AND OTHER ASSISTANCE FROM INDIVIDUAL DONORS WHO HAVE BEEN OF IMMENSE HELP TO THIS FOUNDATION, TO THIS REGARDS WE WILL APPRECIATE IN WHAT AREAS OF SPONSORSHIP YOUR FIRM IS WILLIN TO ASSIST THE FOUNDATION.
YOU CAN CONTACT ME FOR FURTHER INFORMATION ON MY PHONE 234-8036668537. AND SEND ME YOUR CONTACT PHONE NUMBER TO ENABLE ME CONTACT YOU ONBEHALF OF THE FOUNDATION
THANKS

SMITH ADEWALE
DIRTECTOR OF SPORT.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr Adwale,

Thank you for your recent communication. My apologies for not replying to you much earlier but I have been in an important meeting with my board members.

I was expecting your email. I received a communication from your friend Dr. Obokoro yesterday. He was asking for help towards the upkeep for The Childcare Association of Ghana/Nigeria. Unfortunately I had to inform Dr. Obokoro that my company, Arse Bandit PLC only supply donations/financial help to sporting facilities and organisations.

As the owner of a large company and also Arse Bandits United Football Club (picture attached for your records) we are well aware of the benefits of helping young men and women to make more from their lives by using sport as a platform to fitness of mind body and spirit. Wherever possible all over the world we make charitable donations to companies or organisations that require help to facilitate the structurisation of freely available sporting facilities for young men and women, in the hope that this will help them stay off the street and hopefully away from crime and drugs. In fact, only last month we donated money and equipment to a sporting organisation in Nairobi, Kenya. Perhaps you know of them? They are called the East African Young Sports Association. They are located in the Westlands area of Nairobi.

Anyway, back to our business. Dr. Obokoro tells me that your department would benefit from a donation to help further your foundation's efforts to strive for a better life for the young men and women of Nigeria. Dr. Adewale, after consultation with my board members I am pleased to tell you that we would indeed be able to forward a donation to your foundation. Presently the amount we can offer you is US $87,550.00 (eighty seven thousand five fifty Dollars).

Of course, you will realise that we are unable to donate such large amounts without proof that your organisation is real, and that some way will have to be worked out so that you can provide me with proof. Here is my suggestion:

Presently we only offer donations to organisations with 20 (twenty) or more members. Would it be possible for you to supply me with a group photograph of yourself with 20 or more of your members? If you can supply a photograph with more then that is all the better. Of course, there will have to be some way to prove to me that the picture of these people is in fact of your members, but on receipt of your agreement to these terms I will suggest a way for you to do this.

On receipt of suitable photographic proof we can proceed immediately to forward the donation payment in a manner of your choosing.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
Arse Bandit PLC.

[I attach the picture of my football stadium]

 

 

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, January 22, 2004 8:10 PM
Subject: INFO: ARTHUR

Mr Arthur Dent,

Thanks for the mail and your surpport towards our foundation. We the members of the management of this organization really want touse this media to say thanks for all your kingness toward everything. In responsed to you all what you needed has been provieded to you and a good well grouped photograph of all the memebers of the organization. As you can see am with white in personal be your right,also in the group photograph with white. The next person is the director of finance with a seperate photo called Mr. Akhigbe Osinor Al-Razaq.

Regards
Dr smith Adewale

[Dr. Smith attaches some photos quite obviously scanned from a magazine, all INNOCENT parties in this debacle']

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Dr. Adewale,

Many thank for your swift response, but I am afraid you have misunderstood my previous email to you (I have repeated it below).

Whilst I thank you for sending the photographs I am afraid that I will need to ask you to provide a new group photograph that shows some kind of proof that the people in the photograph are indeed allied to yourself and your organisation. Here is my proposal:

My company is called Arse Bandit, and so if you could ask all your members to be photographed together, with each of them holding a sign with the words ARSE BANDIT written/printed on them, that would be more than enough proof for my board members.

I need to be 100% sure in this respect as there are many people who try to fraudulently obtain funds. I am sure you will understand my position.

Please let me know your thoughts.

With sincere regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Sunday, January 25, 2004 9:12 AM
Subject: Re: ARTHUR

Arthur Dent,

based on the informations from your last mail, what you are asking my self and member of the foundation to do now is to send down a group photograph of the organisation with your company name? to this informations what is the position of this foundation and the youth team in your program of activies?.

presently we have a youth team, that is registererd with the federation of youth sport and culture, as a youth team, in the under 18, and 21 category. are you intrested in talking over the sponsorship of this team?

we have to come into understanding and development of this club and all modalitys as regard the change of documentaion with your club and company will be signed and your assistance to the foundation and the youth team will also be put into consideration, as we have quite a number of good players both in the male and female team,
also in the track and field in aspect and will like you to give me a call personaly to enable me update you on activities of this foundation and in my position as the sport director update you on this department of the foundation. kindly send me all your contact phone nunber and you can contact me on my phone number 234-8036668537.
thanks,

Mr smith adewale

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

Thank you for your recent communication.

With regards to the sponsoring of your organisation, that can easily be arranged. My company is always happy to help promote any areas of sport, and unlike other sponsors we do not request any changes of documentation/paperwork, or the implementation of new managers etc.

Once we have proof of your membership (in the manner previously asked for) then All that will be required by you is to sign and date our agreement form and the payment will be sent to you in a manner which most suits you. After that my company have no request other than for you to keep us updated on the progress of your organisation. You will have no legal ties to use.

I hope that clears things up Mr Adwele, and if you require further explanation on how we would like the photograph to be taken please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:49 AM
Subject: INFORMATION

dear arthur,

to the question of intergrity and bussiness, i am real surprised that you do not have 100% trust in me and members of my foundation, i will like to make a point very clear this is a non-governmental and non-profit oriented foundation, our goal and ambitions to help thru sport, develope the mental orientation and future of this generation, for this purposed we have seek your assistance in areas of development and sponsorship. all requirement that is required will be table in our next general meeting that is coming up by this weekend, and it will be delibrated upon by the member and the excutive of this foundation to this regard i will update you on the position of the entire foundation to your requiement.the assistance you have decided to give will not only affect the areas of sport development but humanity in general.as the orphanage department required total surport and we member of the this department understand the purposed and motive of this foundation.in your desire to send an invitation to the foundation, we will require from you how many members of the foundation, that you are willing to invite this will enable all aspect of the foundation to be duly represented, the youth wing, and the general executive of the foundation as well.kindly send me in your reply, further requirement, as i will have to present, the requirement to the general meeting.

thanks
smith adewale

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

Thank you for your email, and I am encouraged by your positive response.

Once the matter of proof of your organisation is given to me I will be happy to forward all my private contact information. I am afraid until this matter has been cleared up positively I cannot forward such information yet. I am not trying to insult you Mr. Adwele, but such information is only given out to trusted business associates. Once I have received suitable photographic evidence I will of course be more than happy to communicate with you on a more personal basis, moreover, once the matter of your organisation's activates are confirmed I would also like to invite you over to the UK (all expenses paid) to view our club and sporting facilities. Perhaps would will be able to offer you much advice.

As for the photograph, I shall explain in detail what is required.

You need to gather 20 (twenty) or more of your organisations employees.

Each individual member need to hold a clear sign with the words ARSE BANDIT written upon it. A4 sized paper will fine for this purpose.

Gather all the members together holding the signs and then take a photograph of the entire group and then send it to me as an attachment.

Once I receive the image and verified it then I will send you a very simple agreement form to complete. All this requires is your name and signature. Once I receive the signed agreement then the donation can be paid out to you immediately in the manner of your choosing, or if you wish, you can fly over to the UK and collect it in person, whichever suits you best.

IMPORTANT: It is VITAL that the words on the signs should be very clear, and that the photograph is large and very clear also. Small or unclear images will be rejected.

I hope that is enough information for you Mr. Adwele, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincere regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, January 29, 2004 1:53 PM
Subject: UPDATE

Dear Arthur,

Based on the out come of our meeting and the position of your company to
follow your company procedure we have come to an aggrement that we will send you an official photograph of the association and with your company inscription as demanded by your company, also we will send you the complete photograph of the foundation football team, we are glad to inform you that the management of this foundation is very happy to inform you that we are very glad and appreciative for the donations and future assistance will be highly appreciated from you as regard the aggrement form are you sending this form in your next mail or after we have scan and send you the photograph?

thanks
director of sport.
Dr Smith Adewale

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

Many thanks for your email, and the members of my board look forward to receiving your photograph.

So that there is no mistake I will repeat once again that each INDIVIDUAL member must be holding a sign with the company name ARSE BANDIT and that the image must be large and clear.

With regards to the Agreement Form, this will be sent after the photograph is received.

With kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.

 

 

[Five days late and Dr. Adwele hasn't replied]

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

Am I to presume by your lack of contact that you no longer with to proceed with our proposal?

Please let me know ASAP as I have other donation matters to be getting on with.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, February 05, 2004 5:51 AM
Subject: Re: UPDATE

"Arthur Dent ,

we are very sorry for the delay in communication is as a result of the present program of my other members who are presently in some distance community with the orphanage department of the foundation,and we wish to send you the complete photograph of all members that are involved in this noble foundation as a result we wish to seek your understanding that we ensure that we all present this weekend and ensure we send the photograph to you soonest
thanks

smith adewale

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

My thanks for your prompt reply. I look forward to receiving your photograph.

One other question. Could you tell me what sporting facilities you currently have connected with your foundation (such as football pitches, gym rooms, tennis courts, swimming pools etc.)? This is just to give my board some idea of how we may be able to help you again in the future.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.

 

 

[Well well, what do we have here? Another scammer needing a donation for his football club? What an amazing coincidence!]

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, February 08, 2004 10:03 AM
Subject: DEAR SIR.

DEAR SIR

I AM A MEMBER OF A FOOTBOLL CLUB CALLED (AMACO FOOTBOLL CLUB) WE ARE LOCATED AT THE WESTERN PART OF NIGERIA (EDO STATE) BENIN CITY . I SAW YOU FOOTBOLL CLUB NAME AT THE INERTNET THAT YOU HELP SPORTING MAN AND WOMEN IN SPORTING ACTIVITIES, SORRY IF I DID THE RONG THING AS FOR MAILING YOU.
WE NEED YOU HELP SIR, AS A YOUTH WHO LIKE SPORT VERY WELL AND PLAY FOR MY CLUB WE ARE LACKING FACILITY PROBLEM , LIKE BOOT, SHOT, PITCH,E.T .C.

SIR AS THE CAPTIN OF THE TEAM I WANT TO ASK YOU IF YOU CAN HELP MY CLUB WITH ABOUT ($1500,000 US DOLLER) SO WE CAN MEET THE COMPITITION COMING UP AT THE END OF THIS YEAR I WE WANT TO CPMPEIT FOR THE CAF CUP OF NATION THIS SEASON.

I PLAY FOR THE UNDER 20 TEAM, IN WHICH WE HAVE UNDER 23, 17 AND THE FEMALE TEAM ABOUT 10 PLAYER FOR THE FEMALE TEAM , I WANT THE GIRLS TO LOOK AT SPORT ACTIVITIES AS A MORAL THING WHICH CAN HELP THEM BUILD THE LIVE OF THEM THEN GOING INTO DRUGS, PROTITUTION AND SO ON.

PLS SIR I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY
(CAPTIN AMACO FOOTBOLL CLUB)

[Of course upon tracing the source of this email it resolves right back to the same computer and location as Dr. Smith Adwele. It appears Dr. Adwele is either fishing for double portions or is testing my story!]

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Sir,

Many thanks for your email which is most welcome. Please, when you reply would you please give me your full name as you have neglected to mention it in your email?

It is good to see that you are promoting sporting facilities for the young people of Nigeria, and as the owner of a large football club ourselves (Arse Bandits United) we like to try to help people who are promoting fitness and also helping the young people to stay away from a life of crime. I have to say I was very impressed by your letter, and I would like to try to help you if possible.

I think we may be able to help you with a donation, but presently we are actually processing a donation payment for another organisation in your area. Perhaps you know the gentleman concerned? His name is Mr. Adwele and he runs a sporting foundation in Nigeria also. Anyway, until Mr. Adwele's donation payment has been processed I am afraid cannot proceed with your case. Because of the strict charity laws here in the UK we are only allowed to make donation payments once all outstanding cases have been cleared.

I expect Mr. Adwele's donation to be processed within the next 7 days however. I am awaiting receipt of a photograph from him, and then his signature on our donation agreement form. Once I receive this my company will immediately make the payment to him immediately and then of course we will be free to process your application for a donation. I have to tell you however that we will require some proof of your organisation in the form of a photograph. I will explain exactly what is required at a later date.

If you are still interested in our help and are willing to wait until we have dealt with Mr. Adwele then please reply to me ASAP.

Thank you again for your email, and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Kindest regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Monday, February 09, 2004 10:32 AM
Subject: DEAR SIR.

Dear Arthur,

Thanks for mailing back in other to help my club,My name is Ebi Garr, club name (Amaco football club) i was very happy to hear from you in help my club, and was very happy that you can help my club thanks one more time.
In fact i konw about the Mr adewale and his team they are really nice in fact they help my club in one of the games we played. they are nice sporting club i never you were helping them with some donation. thanks for doing that.if i nay ask when we their donation end, sorry for that if it's not good to ask.

back to my club problem we are really in bad shape as for now that why i need your organazation to help my club.
so you mean after 7days we can talk about my help and the poof of photograph i can get that for you as soon as you want me to, becos the female team are having games coming up at the beining of next mouth so you see that why i'm really asking for help , but sorry if i'm pressing hard i don't want my club to lost the game.

i will be waiting for your reply.
(captin Amaco football club)
regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you for your prompt response.

It is good to know that you are aware of Mr. Adwele. He seems like a nice person to me.

With regards to your question; We are awaiting a photograph from Mr. Adwele, which we have been told may be arriving today. Once we receive a satisfactory photograph from him we shall send him a agreement form to sign. Once he has done this his donation will be paid out immediately. Of course, how long this takes depends on Mr. Adwele. If he send the photograph today then I shall forward him the agreement immediately. As soon as he return that to me signed then the payment can me made straight away and then we can move on to the matter of your donation.

Providing that Mr. Adwele sends a suitable photograph then I expect his donation to be paid out within 4 or 5 days.

So Ebi, I think that there should not be a problem organising your donation within a matter of a week or two. Everything rests with Mr. Adwele now.

My sincere regard,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Monday, February 09, 2004 5:06 PM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.

dear arthur,

thanks for mailing back that shows you really do what your organization does, infact i will like you to infor me about the photograph i need for your poof so i can start right away with out any long time.

please tell me about the photograph more and the poof of what my club member need to do.i don't want any delay so as to help my team and the club, as for the female team about 7girls just join for the games coming up at the beining of next month so we need to give them confort as a club.

i will be waiting for your reply.

Ebi Garr.
captin Amaco football club.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

Thank you once again for your swift response.

Basically the photograph is needed as proof of the number of members/associates in your organisation. Presently we only donate to organisations who are able to prove that they have 20 or more members/associates in their organisation. It is complicated, but it is one of the subsection of rules (UK Charities act) that we have to abide by.

What we would require is that you gather all your members together (20 or more), and have a group photograph taken. Each INDIVIDUAL member/employee must hold a small sign with the name of our company (Arse Bandit). You then need to send this photograph to us as a attachment. VERY IMPORTANT: You must ensure that the image is large and clear. If the photograph is not clear is will be rejected.

The reason we ask people to pose holding our company name will ensure the photograph is genuine. Sadly because we are a large multi million Dollar company we do get a lot of dishonest people who try many trick to gain access to our funds, so by asking for such a photograph it show the people in the image are genuine.

I hope that is of help.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

[Time to try to find out what has happened to my original scammer Dr. Smith Adwele]

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele

Dear Mr. Adwele,

Please would you get in touch ASAP. I would like to know when you will be sending me the photograph?

Also, please can you tell me if you know a gentleman by the name of Ebi Garr? He contacted my via email a few days ago.

I would appreciate your swift action on the above matters as I am due to fly to Alaska shortly and would like to finalise these matters quickly as once I leave I will be unavailable for 3 weeks.

Kind regards.

Arthur Dent
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

[Ebi Garr gets back to me]

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 4:35 PM
Subject: DEAR SIR.

dear authur,

thanks for miling back i like that your ideal of proof becos over here we don't trust any body it ok my me, i will see if we can take the photograph as fast as we can but i we like to ask you some question if posible.

1: As a young come foot ball club what do you think we may do to help us with thing like this so we can help strong and effective.
2: please which is the mini_ donation you can help us with, sorry to ask that but i need to.
3:we have a female team what do you think we most do to keep them in from.

please i heop this question do not boder you. i will thanks you and your club for what you do for sport becos i don't think every other club can do this.

i will be waiting for you reply ASAP.
thanks
Ebi Garr.

 

 

[Mr. Adwele gets back to me, and of course, he knows all about Ebi Garr!]

From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 4:51 PM
Subject: UPDATE

dear authur ,

The photofragph will be send to you as soon as we get every thing in other please bear with us.

i know about that name Ebi Garr i think he is in a club named Amaco football club yes i know about him. we saw once in a game.

sorry i don't have much to saw. i will se what i can do about as fast as posible.
adewale smith.

[And that dear readers was the last ever email I received from Mr. Adwele. But of course, we already know that Ebe Garr and Smith Adwele are one and the same person!]

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Mr. Ebe.

My apologies for not letting you know of the amount. Details of our standard donation amounts are posted at the charities commission, I had assumed that you had seen the information there.

In fact the total amount due would entirely depend on whether Mr. Adwele is able to proceed with his donation to a successful conclusion. You see, we are at the end of our financial year, and have only a small amount of fund left to distribute. If Mr. Adwele sends a suitable photograph and completes our agreement form then he will be awarded our standard amount. However, if Mr. Adewale is unable to complete our donation procedure to our satisfaction then that will leave more funds for us to pass on to you, so your donation amount will vary between US $46,250.00 and US $90,165.00 When we pay out the donation we also send information packs with all kinds of useful information and advice.

So as you can see, until Mr. Adwele has completed his side of the procedure the total amount is unknown, but the minimum amount will be $46,250.00.

I hope that has answered some of your questions.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 8:46 AM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.

dear authur,

Thanks for your mail i think it's ok by me but when do you think Mr.Adewale will
do away with he photograph becos i want to be fast about it mine is geting done as i mail you .
anyway i will waiting till when Mr. adewale is ok.

i will mail you back to tell you when the photograph will be sent to you.
regards
Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Ebi,

I am still waiting for the photograph from Mr. Adwele. I expected to receive it early this week but apparently there has been some delay. I have urged Mr. Adwele to hurry as I am due to fly to Alaska to finalise a business transaction shortly and I shall be unavailable for three weeks,

Please feel free to send your own photograph as soon as you can, then on receipt of a satisfactory image I will forward you the agreement form for signing.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent
MD. Arse Bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 9:16 AM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.

dear authur ,

thanks for the mail i am with the football team when i got your mail, i will be send the photograph 17th of the month due to the to the time the photograph will be ok to send to you.

thanks
Ebi Garr

 

 

[6 days later and still no photo. Time to try to move things along]

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Mr. Ebi,

This is a last reminder that you only have three remaining days to send in the photograph. After that I will be leaving for a business conference in Alaska and will be unable to process your donation for two months.

In your last email to me you told me you would be sending the picture today (17th). Is there a problem?

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 1:32 PM
Subject: Re: Last reminder

dear authur,

i'm very sorry for the delay of thing , the photograph will be sent to you ASAP please i will want you to hold on.

Ebi Garr.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr

Dear Mr. Ebi,

Thank you for your email. I urge you to hurry as there is only just over 48 hours left.

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse bandit PLC

 

 

From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:31 AM
Subject: Re: Last reminder

dear authur,

thanks for mailing back i'm sorry for the delay of thing is due to the scan we have it's give ue problem, at the moment we are trying to get it done anyway the photograph will be sent to you .

Thanks for all the information.
Ebi Garr.