Title: OWN GOAL!
Scammer Name: EBI GARR
Submitted By: SHIVER METIMBERS
A tale of a great football (or as our American friends call
it 'Soccer'!) club, and our efforts to help the sporting scammers
of Nigeria!
A word of warning, getting my result was a long, long drawn
out affair! Are you sitting (very) comfortably? Then let us begin:
From: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Date: Tuesday, January 20, 2004 4:54 PM
Subject: WE NEED YOUR HELP.
CHILD CARE ASSOCIATION OF GHANA/NIGERIA.
We take care of children in nigeria and order country in africa,children
ofaccident victims, operation neeeded deseases e.g apendix,......
the association was founded by some good citizen of ghana/nigeria
individualy to help the children of the africa,the african child
needs help, because of the nature of poverty in africa.The association
is finace individualy by good peoples from ghana/nigeria but we
have facilities problem and finace which we need your help on helping
these children .
We are mailing you just because we know you can help these children
with anything you have,because your help can save the live of these
children.The association have to pay their school bills and order
development thesechildren.just about $5000 (us doller)we are asking
your help in hand so we can make the africa a better place for the
children.Anything you send will be acceptable that's why we don't
have to bill anybody we just want you to give as your mind will
tell you to give, as humans who care about the tommrow of children
swimming in poverty.We're writing you because we know your penny
can save the lives of this children,and as you do your best God
will bless you mightily.Thanks for your help .thanks for reading
this mail and we will wait for your reply contact address:[email protected]
phone : +234-8033923849.
seiyefa.e.obokoro (DR)
[Yes, I know it's a different name to the one in the title,
but hang on and you will get the picture]
[I decided at this point to see if it was possible to turn things
complately around and see if I could take this scammer on a different
track. It was easier than expected...]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Dear Seiyefa,
Your sad case interests me. Sadly my company (Arse Bandit PLC) only
donate to sporting organisations. We are the UK's leading donator
to sports facilities and organisations and we also own the UK's
4th largest football club, Arse Bandit United.
If you have a branch of your organisation that promotes sporting
activity then I may be able to help with a large donation (possibly
around $90,000,00 Dollars), but unless you have such a branch then
I am afraid I cannot help you.
My sincere regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse bandit PLC.
[I'm taking a wild guess that Seiyefa might just
have a link with a sporting organisation!]
[Well what do you know? Looks like I can help after
all!]
From: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:45 AM
Subject: ATTENTION:Arthur Dent
dear arthur,
the content of your lastmail, dated Tue, 20 Jan
2004, is noted and your determination to contribute to the social
aspect of this organisation is noted, we menbers of the noble non-profit-organisation,
based in the western region of africa, we have diffrent programm
that we have in this organisation that our principle objective is
to alliviate the suffering of the less priviledge children thru
the help of good and kindhearted organisation like yours, we have
the office of the youth and sport development that cater for the
orphan and the director of sport will contact you in respect of
this in our subsequent mail, i have forwarded your mail to the director
of sport, and he will update you on all relevant informations and
programs of his department, here is the email, add, [email protected],
and his name is DR SMITH ADEWALE, phone number 234-8036668537,
you can contact him and he will update you on activities
of his department, and the youth programm, and sport development.
thanks
regards
DR OBOKORO
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Seiyefa Obokoro
Dear Dr. Obokoro,
Thank you for your reply.
Please feel free to ask Dr. Adewale to contact me if he feels that
his department may benefit for our help. We are always willing to
help to sponsor the development of sports wherever possible.
Please note that of course if a donation is requested we will need
to receive some kind of proof of the existence of Dr. Adewale's
development program. This should be a very simple matter and if
Dr. Adewale contacts me then I can explain a simple way to prove
his authenticity.
For your records, I have attached a photograph of our Reliant Stadium.
This photograph was taken three weeks ago whilst preparing the stadium
for a rock concert by the American rock group Trigger Happy.
With sincere regards,
Arthur Dent.
Arse bandit PLC.
[I attach a picture of 'my stadium']
[Surprise surprise. A short while later a letter
comes in from a Mr. Adwele, director of sport. Strange thing is
though, the email seems to originate from EXACTLY the same computer
and location as Dr. Obokoro's. Surely the good doctor isn't trying
to scam me?!]
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 5:04 PM
Subject: INFORMATION:ARTHUR.
SIR,
I HAVE BEEN DIRECTEED TO CONTACT YOU AND UPDATE
YOU ON THE PROGRAMMS OF MY FOUNDATION, AND ACTIVITIES FOR THE YEAR,
THIS FOUNDATION IS NON-PROFIT ORGANISATION BASED IN THE WESTERN
REGION OF AFRICA, WE HAVE ESTABILISHED THIS DEPARTMENT TO CATER
AND UPLIFT SPORT, IN THIS FOUNDATION AS BRIDGE AND FORSTER UNITY
IN THE FOUNDATION, IN THE COURSE OF THIS PROGRAM, WE HAVE ORGANISED
LECTURE, SYMPOSSIUN, SEMINARS, AND TRAINING TO IMPROVE THE FOOTBALL
TEAM AND OTHER SPORTING ACTIVITIES OF THE FOUNDATION.
PRESENT THE SOURCE OF FUNDING THIS ORGANISATION
COMES FROM THE FOUNDATION, AND OTHER ASSISTANCE FROM INDIVIDUAL
DONORS WHO HAVE BEEN OF IMMENSE HELP TO THIS FOUNDATION, TO THIS
REGARDS WE WILL APPRECIATE IN WHAT AREAS OF SPONSORSHIP YOUR FIRM
IS WILLIN TO ASSIST THE FOUNDATION.
YOU CAN CONTACT ME FOR FURTHER INFORMATION ON MY PHONE 234-8036668537.
AND SEND ME YOUR CONTACT PHONE NUMBER TO ENABLE ME CONTACT YOU ONBEHALF
OF THE FOUNDATION
THANKS
SMITH ADEWALE
DIRTECTOR OF SPORT.
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr Adwale,
Thank you for your recent communication. My apologies for not replying
to you much earlier but I have been in an important meeting with
my board members.
I was expecting your email. I received a communication from your
friend Dr. Obokoro yesterday. He was asking for help towards the
upkeep for The Childcare Association of Ghana/Nigeria. Unfortunately
I had to inform Dr. Obokoro that my company, Arse Bandit PLC only
supply donations/financial help to sporting facilities and organisations.
As the owner of a large company and also Arse Bandits United Football
Club (picture attached for your records) we are well aware of the
benefits of helping young men and women to make more from their
lives by using sport as a platform to fitness of mind body and spirit.
Wherever possible all over the world we make charitable donations
to companies or organisations that require help to facilitate the
structurisation of freely available sporting facilities for young
men and women, in the hope that this will help them stay off the
street and hopefully away from crime and drugs. In fact, only last
month we donated money and equipment to a sporting organisation
in Nairobi, Kenya. Perhaps you know of them? They are called the
East African Young Sports Association. They are located in the Westlands
area of Nairobi.
Anyway, back to our business. Dr. Obokoro tells me that your department
would benefit from a donation to help further your foundation's
efforts to strive for a better life for the young men and women
of Nigeria. Dr. Adewale, after consultation with my board members
I am pleased to tell you that we would indeed be able to forward
a donation to your foundation. Presently the amount we can offer
you is US $87,550.00 (eighty seven thousand five fifty Dollars).
Of course, you will realise that we are unable to donate such large
amounts without proof that your organisation is real, and that some
way will have to be worked out so that you can provide me with proof.
Here is my suggestion:
Presently we only offer donations to organisations with 20 (twenty)
or more members. Would it be possible for you to supply me with
a group photograph of yourself with 20 or more of your members?
If you can supply a photograph with more then that is all the better.
Of course, there will have to be some way to prove to me that the
picture of these people is in fact of your members, but on receipt
of your agreement to these terms I will suggest a way for you to
do this.
On receipt of suitable photographic proof we can proceed immediately
to forward the donation payment in a manner of your choosing.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
Arse Bandit PLC.
[I attach the picture of my football stadium]
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, January 22, 2004 8:10 PM
Subject: INFO: ARTHUR
Mr Arthur Dent,
Thanks for the mail and your surpport towards our
foundation. We the members of the management of this organization
really want touse this media to say thanks for all your kingness
toward everything. In responsed to you all what you needed has been
provieded to you and a good well grouped photograph of all the memebers
of the organization. As you can see am with white in personal be
your right,also in the group photograph with white. The next person
is the director of finance with a seperate photo called Mr. Akhigbe
Osinor Al-Razaq.
Regards
Dr smith Adewale
[Dr. Smith attaches some photos quite obviously
scanned from a magazine, all INNOCENT parties in this debacle']
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Dr. Adewale,
Many thank for your swift response, but I am afraid you have misunderstood
my previous email to you (I have repeated it below).
Whilst I thank you for sending the photographs I am afraid that
I will need to ask you to provide a new group photograph that shows
some kind of proof that the people in the photograph are indeed
allied to yourself and your organisation. Here is my proposal:
My company is called Arse Bandit, and so if you could ask all your
members to be photographed together, with each of them holding a
sign with the words ARSE BANDIT written/printed on them, that would
be more than enough proof for my board members.
I need to be 100% sure in this respect as there are many people
who try to fraudulently obtain funds. I am sure you will understand
my position.
Please let me know your thoughts.
With sincere regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Sunday, January 25, 2004 9:12 AM
Subject: Re: ARTHUR
Arthur Dent,
based on the informations from your last mail, what you are asking
my self and member of the foundation to do now is to send down a
group photograph of the organisation with your company name? to
this informations what is the position of this foundation and the
youth team in your program of activies?.
presently we have a youth team, that is registererd
with the federation of youth sport and culture, as a youth team,
in the under 18, and 21 category. are you intrested in talking over
the sponsorship of this team?
we have to come into understanding and development
of this club and all modalitys as regard the change of documentaion
with your club and company will be signed and your assistance to
the foundation and the youth team will also be put into consideration,
as we have quite a number of good players both in the male and female
team,
also in the track and field in aspect and will like you to give
me a call personaly to enable me update you on activities of this
foundation and in my position as the sport director update you on
this department of the foundation. kindly send me all your contact
phone nunber and you can contact me on my phone number 234-8036668537.
thanks,
Mr smith adewale
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
Thank you for your recent communication.
With regards to the sponsoring of your organisation, that can easily
be arranged. My company is always happy to help promote any areas
of sport, and unlike other sponsors we do not request any changes
of documentation/paperwork, or the implementation of new managers
etc.
Once we have proof of your membership (in the manner
previously asked for) then All that will be required by you is to
sign and date our agreement form and the payment will be sent to
you in a manner which most suits you. After that my company have
no request other than for you to keep us updated on the progress
of your organisation. You will have no legal ties to use.
I hope that clears things up Mr Adwele, and if you require further
explanation on how we would like the photograph to be taken please
do not hesitate to get in touch.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:49 AM
Subject: INFORMATION
dear arthur,
to the question of intergrity and bussiness, i
am real surprised that you do not have 100% trust in me and members
of my foundation, i will like to make a point very clear this is
a non-governmental and non-profit oriented foundation, our goal
and ambitions to help thru sport, develope the mental orientation
and future of this generation, for this purposed we have seek your
assistance in areas of development and sponsorship. all requirement
that is required will be table in our next general meeting that
is coming up by this weekend, and it will be delibrated upon by
the member and the excutive of this foundation to this regard i
will update you on the position of the entire foundation to your
requiement.the assistance you have decided to give will not only
affect the areas of sport development but humanity in general.as
the orphanage department required total surport and we member of
the this department understand the purposed and motive of this foundation.in
your desire to send an invitation to the foundation, we will require
from you how many members of the foundation, that you are willing
to invite this will enable all aspect of the foundation to be duly
represented, the youth wing, and the general executive of the foundation
as well.kindly send me in your reply, further requirement, as i
will have to present, the requirement to the general meeting.
thanks
smith adewale
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
Thank you for your email, and I am encouraged by your positive response.
Once the matter of proof of your organisation is given to me I will
be happy to forward all my private contact information. I am afraid
until this matter has been cleared up positively I cannot forward
such information yet. I am not trying to insult you Mr. Adwele,
but such information is only given out to trusted business associates.
Once I have received suitable photographic evidence I will of course
be more than happy to communicate with you on a more personal basis,
moreover, once the matter of your organisation's activates are confirmed
I would also like to invite you over to the UK (all expenses paid)
to view our club and sporting facilities. Perhaps would will be
able to offer you much advice.
As for the photograph, I shall explain in detail what is required.
You need to gather 20 (twenty) or more of your organisations employees.
Each individual member need to hold a clear sign with the words
ARSE BANDIT written upon it. A4 sized paper will fine for this purpose.
Gather all the members together holding the signs and then take
a photograph of the entire group and then send it to me as an attachment.
Once I receive the image and verified it then I will send you a
very simple agreement form to complete. All this requires is your
name and signature. Once I receive the signed agreement then the
donation can be paid out to you immediately in the manner of your
choosing, or if you wish, you can fly over to the UK and collect
it in person, whichever suits you best.
IMPORTANT: It is VITAL that the words on the signs should be very
clear, and that the photograph is large and very clear also. Small
or unclear images will be rejected.
I hope that is enough information for you Mr. Adwele, and I look
forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincere regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, January 29, 2004 1:53 PM
Subject: UPDATE
Dear Arthur,
Based on the out come of our meeting and the position
of your company to
follow your company procedure we have come to an aggrement that
we will send you an official photograph of the association and with
your company inscription as demanded by your company, also we will
send you the complete photograph of the foundation football team,
we are glad to inform you that the management of this foundation
is very happy to inform you that we are very glad and appreciative
for the donations and future assistance will be highly appreciated
from you as regard the aggrement form are you sending this form
in your next mail or after we have scan and send you the photograph?
thanks
director of sport.
Dr Smith Adewale
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
Many thanks for your email, and the members of my board look forward
to receiving your photograph.
So that there is no mistake I will repeat once again that each INDIVIDUAL
member must be holding a sign with the company name ARSE BANDIT
and that the image must be large and clear.
With regards to the Agreement Form, this will be sent after the
photograph is received.
With kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.
[Five days late and Dr. Adwele hasn't replied]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
Am I to presume by your lack of contact that you no longer with
to proceed with our proposal?
Please let me know ASAP as I have other donation matters to be getting
on with.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Thursday, February 05, 2004 5:51 AM
Subject: Re: UPDATE
"Arthur Dent ,
we are very sorry for the delay in communication is as a result
of the present program of my other members who are presently in
some distance community with the orphanage department of the foundation,and
we wish to send you the complete photograph of all members that
are involved in this noble foundation as a result we wish to seek
your understanding that we ensure that we all present this weekend
and ensure we send the photograph to you soonest
thanks
smith adewale
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
My thanks for your prompt reply. I look forward to receiving your
photograph.
One other question. Could you tell me what sporting facilities you
currently have connected with your foundation (such as football
pitches, gym rooms, tennis courts, swimming pools etc.)? This is
just to give my board some idea of how we may be able to help you
again in the future.
Sincerely,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandits PLC.
[Well well, what do we have here? Another scammer
needing a donation for his football club? What an amazing coincidence!]
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Sunday, February 08, 2004 10:03 AM
Subject: DEAR SIR.
DEAR SIR
I AM A MEMBER OF A FOOTBOLL CLUB CALLED (AMACO
FOOTBOLL CLUB) WE ARE LOCATED AT THE WESTERN PART OF NIGERIA (EDO
STATE) BENIN CITY . I SAW YOU FOOTBOLL CLUB NAME AT THE INERTNET
THAT YOU HELP SPORTING MAN AND WOMEN IN SPORTING ACTIVITIES, SORRY
IF I DID THE RONG THING AS FOR MAILING YOU.
WE NEED YOU HELP SIR, AS A YOUTH WHO LIKE SPORT VERY WELL AND PLAY
FOR MY CLUB WE ARE LACKING FACILITY PROBLEM , LIKE BOOT, SHOT, PITCH,E.T
.C.
SIR AS THE CAPTIN OF THE TEAM I WANT TO ASK YOU
IF YOU CAN HELP MY CLUB WITH ABOUT ($1500,000 US DOLLER) SO WE CAN
MEET THE COMPITITION COMING UP AT THE END OF THIS YEAR I WE WANT
TO CPMPEIT FOR THE CAF CUP OF NATION THIS SEASON.
I PLAY FOR THE UNDER 20 TEAM, IN WHICH WE HAVE
UNDER 23, 17 AND THE FEMALE TEAM ABOUT 10 PLAYER FOR THE FEMALE
TEAM , I WANT THE GIRLS TO LOOK AT SPORT ACTIVITIES AS A MORAL THING
WHICH CAN HELP THEM BUILD THE LIVE OF THEM THEN GOING INTO DRUGS,
PROTITUTION AND SO ON.
PLS SIR I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY
(CAPTIN AMACO FOOTBOLL CLUB)
[Of course upon tracing the source of this email
it resolves right back to the same computer and location as Dr.
Smith Adwele. It appears Dr. Adwele is either fishing for double
portions or is testing my story!]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Sir,
Many thanks for your email which is most welcome. Please, when you
reply would you please give me your full name as you have neglected
to mention it in your email?
It is good to see that you are promoting sporting facilities for
the young people of Nigeria, and as the owner of a large football
club ourselves (Arse Bandits United) we like to try to help people
who are promoting fitness and also helping the young people to stay
away from a life of crime. I have to say I was very impressed by
your letter, and I would like to try to help you if possible.
I think we may be able to help you with a donation, but presently
we are actually processing a donation payment for another organisation
in your area. Perhaps you know the gentleman concerned? His name
is Mr. Adwele and he runs a sporting foundation in Nigeria also.
Anyway, until Mr. Adwele's donation payment has been processed I
am afraid cannot proceed with your case. Because of the strict charity
laws here in the UK we are only allowed to make donation payments
once all outstanding cases have been cleared.
I expect Mr. Adwele's donation to be processed within the next 7
days however. I am awaiting receipt of a photograph from him, and
then his signature on our donation agreement form. Once I receive
this my company will immediately make the payment to him immediately
and then of course we will be free to process your application for
a donation. I have to tell you however that we will require some
proof of your organisation in the form of a photograph. I will explain
exactly what is required at a later date.
If you are still interested in our help and are willing to wait
until we have dealt with Mr. Adwele then please reply to me ASAP.
Thank you again for your email, and I look forward to hearing from
you again soon.
Kindest regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Monday, February 09, 2004 10:32 AM
Subject: DEAR SIR.
Dear Arthur,
Thanks for mailing back in other to help my club,My
name is Ebi Garr, club name (Amaco football club) i was very happy
to hear from you in help my club, and was very happy that you can
help my club thanks one more time.
In fact i konw about the Mr adewale and his team they are really
nice in fact they help my club in one of the games we played. they
are nice sporting club i never you were helping them with some donation.
thanks for doing that.if i nay ask when we their donation end, sorry
for that if it's not good to ask.
back to my club problem we are really in bad shape
as for now that why i need your organazation to help my club.
so you mean after 7days we can talk about my help and the poof of
photograph i can get that for you as soon as you want me to, becos
the female team are having games coming up at the beining of next
mouth so you see that why i'm really asking for help , but sorry
if i'm pressing hard i don't want my club to lost the game.
i will be waiting for your reply.
(captin Amaco football club)
regards
Ebi Garr.
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Ebi,
Thank you for your prompt response.
It is good to know that you are aware of Mr. Adwele. He seems like
a nice person to me.
With regards to your question; We are awaiting a photograph from
Mr. Adwele, which we have been told may be arriving today. Once
we receive a satisfactory photograph from him we shall send him
a agreement form to sign. Once he has done this his donation will
be paid out immediately. Of course, how long this takes depends
on Mr. Adwele. If he send the photograph today then I shall forward
him the agreement immediately. As soon as he return that to me signed
then the payment can me made straight away and then we can move
on to the matter of your donation.
Providing that Mr. Adwele sends a suitable photograph then I expect
his donation to be paid out within 4 or 5 days.
So Ebi, I think that there should not be a problem organising your
donation within a matter of a week or two. Everything rests with
Mr. Adwele now.
My sincere regard,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Monday, February 09, 2004 5:06 PM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.
dear arthur,
thanks for mailing back that shows you really do
what your organization does, infact i will like you to infor me
about the photograph i need for your poof so i can start right away
with out any long time.
please tell me about the photograph more and the
poof of what my club member need to do.i don't want any delay so
as to help my team and the club, as for the female team about 7girls
just join for the games coming up at the beining of next month so
we need to give them confort as a club.
i will be waiting for your reply.
Ebi Garr.
captin Amaco football club.
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Ebi,
Thank you once again for your swift response.
Basically the photograph is needed as proof of the number of members/associates
in your organisation. Presently we only donate to organisations
who are able to prove that they have 20 or more members/associates
in their organisation. It is complicated, but it is one of the subsection
of rules (UK Charities act) that we have to abide by.
What we would require is that you gather all your members together
(20 or more), and have a group photograph taken. Each INDIVIDUAL
member/employee must hold a small sign with the name of our company
(Arse Bandit). You then need to send this photograph to us as a
attachment. VERY IMPORTANT: You must ensure that the image is large
and clear. If the photograph is not clear is will be rejected.
The reason we ask people to pose holding our company name will ensure
the photograph is genuine. Sadly because we are a large multi million
Dollar company we do get a lot of dishonest people who try many
trick to gain access to our funds, so by asking for such a photograph
it show the people in the image are genuine.
I hope that is of help.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC
[Time to try to find out what has happened to my
original scammer Dr. Smith Adwele]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Dr. Smith Adwele
Dear Mr. Adwele,
Please would you get in touch ASAP. I would like to know when you
will be sending me the photograph?
Also, please can you tell me if you know a gentleman by the name
of Ebi Garr? He contacted my via email a few days ago.
I would appreciate your swift action on the above matters as I am
due to fly to Alaska shortly and would like to finalise these matters
quickly as once I leave I will be unavailable for 3 weeks.
Kind regards.
Arthur Dent
MD. Arse Bandit PLC
[Ebi Garr gets back to me]
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 4:35 PM
Subject: DEAR SIR.
dear authur,
thanks for miling back i like that your ideal of
proof becos over here we don't trust any body it ok my me, i will
see if we can take the photograph as fast as we can but i we like
to ask you some question if posible.
1: As a young come foot ball club what do you think
we may do to help us with thing like this so we can help strong
and effective.
2: please which is the mini_ donation you can help us with, sorry
to ask that but i need to.
3:we have a female team what do you think we most do to keep them
in from.
please i heop this question do not boder you. i
will thanks you and your club for what you do for sport becos i
don't think every other club can do this.
i will be waiting for you reply ASAP.
thanks
Ebi Garr.
[Mr. Adwele gets back to me, and of course, he
knows all about Ebi Garr!]
From: Mr. Smith Adwele
Date: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 4:51 PM
Subject: UPDATE
dear authur ,
The photofragph will be send to you as soon as
we get every thing in other please bear with us.
i know about that name Ebi Garr i think he is in
a club named Amaco football club yes i know about him. we saw once
in a game.
sorry i don't have much to saw. i will se what
i can do about as fast as posible.
adewale smith.
[And that dear readers was the last ever email
I received from Mr. Adwele. But of course, we already know that
Ebe Garr and Smith Adwele are one and the same person!]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Mr. Ebe.
My apologies for not letting you know of the amount. Details of
our standard donation amounts are posted at the charities commission,
I had assumed that you had seen the information there.
In fact the total amount due would entirely depend on whether Mr.
Adwele is able to proceed with his donation to a successful conclusion.
You see, we are at the end of our financial year, and have only
a small amount of fund left to distribute. If Mr. Adwele sends a
suitable photograph and completes our agreement form then he will
be awarded our standard amount. However, if Mr. Adewale is unable
to complete our donation procedure to our satisfaction then that
will leave more funds for us to pass on to you, so your donation
amount will vary between US $46,250.00 and US $90,165.00 When we
pay out the donation we also send information packs with all kinds
of useful information and advice.
So as you can see, until Mr. Adwele has completed his side of the
procedure the total amount is unknown, but the minimum amount will
be $46,250.00.
I hope that has answered some of your questions.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
Arse Bandit PLC
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 8:46 AM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.
dear authur,
Thanks for your mail i think it's ok by me but
when do you think Mr.Adewale will
do away with he photograph becos i want to be fast about it mine
is geting done as i mail you .
anyway i will waiting till when Mr. adewale is ok.
i will mail you back to tell you when the photograph
will be sent to you.
regards
Ebi Garr.
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Ebi,
I am still waiting for the photograph from Mr. Adwele. I expected
to receive it early this week but apparently there has been some
delay. I have urged Mr. Adwele to hurry as I am due to fly to Alaska
to finalise a business transaction shortly and I shall be unavailable
for three weeks,
Please feel free to send your own photograph as soon as you can,
then on receipt of a satisfactory image I will forward you the agreement
form for signing.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent
MD. Arse Bandit PLC
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 9:16 AM
Subject: Re: DEAR SIR.
dear authur ,
thanks for the mail i am with the football team
when i got your mail, i will be send the photograph 17th of the
month due to the to the time the photograph will be ok to send to
you.
thanks
Ebi Garr
[6 days later and still no photo. Time to try to
move things along]
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Mr. Ebi,
This is a last reminder that you only have three remaining days
to send in the photograph. After that I will be leaving for a business
conference in Alaska and will be unable to process your donation
for two months.
In your last email to me you told me you would be sending the picture
today (17th). Is there a problem?
Sincerely,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse Bandit PLC.
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 1:32 PM
Subject: Re: Last reminder
dear authur,
i'm very sorry for the delay of thing , the photograph
will be sent to you ASAP please i will want you to hold on.
Ebi Garr.
From: Arthur Dent (Managing Director)
To: Mr. Ebi Garr
Dear Mr. Ebi,
Thank you for your email. I urge you to hurry as there is only just
over 48 hours left.
Kind regards,
Arthur Dent.
MD. Arse bandit PLC
From: Mr. Ebi Garr
Date: Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:31 AM
Subject: Re: Last reminder
dear authur,
thanks for mailing back i'm sorry for the delay
of thing is due to the scan we have it's give ue problem, at the
moment we are trying to get it done anyway the photograph will be
sent to you .
Thanks for all the information.
Ebi Garr.
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