Kola Needs Money for an Operation
Elvis……..........Me, a trusting person that seems to throw around money left and right
Kola……..........The 419 Scammer
Dr. Johnson......Kola’s Doctor (the same person as Kola of course)
The Elvis Impersonators…..Me
Scammers Real Names and Address:
Ajao Sheriffdeen Kolawole (Surname: Ajao Balogun)
DOB: 12 May 1984 (Confirmed)
Ajao Abdul Rasheed
Sanni Sulaiman Damilola
21 Balogun Street
Iwaya Yaba Lagos Nigeria
You will quickly realize that Kolawole is not very sophisticated and quickly looses control of anything going on. This begins as a very simple, low level 419 sympathy scam with the ‘Need Money for Operation’ Theme. All correspondence is only edited for clarity and for all intensive purposes exactly as sent/received.
Out of no where, a desperate plea for help arrives!
Summary of Plea: He needs $20,000 because there is something wrong with his skin
DAY 1 - December 27 2004
Subject: to whom it may concern
How are you? And how is your work? It is my pleasure to write this shortletter to you. My name is Kola Balogun I am young boy of 20yrs old. My main purpose of writing you this letter is all about assistance towards my body diseases (Surgery).
This disease started when I was 6yrs old, my parent thought that it was only a small boil. But gradually he started to increase will went to many various Hospital although they tried there best so when was 19yrs old I went toLagos teaching Hospital (LUTH) when the Doctor at the hospital stay thatthis case cannot be handle in Nigeria. That I need to travel out for this case so the Doctor has recommender a letter for me to travel out of thestate for surgery. So dear friends when will estimate the cost that I will used in hospitalityand other essential document is all about US$20,000 dollars which my family could not raise please help me this case is getting worse. I need yourassistance any body willing to help me out of this killer diseases should mail back at [email protected] I will appreciate any donation from thepublic, you can contribute any amount you have. Please this disease is dis-stopping my education in school. I want to becomea professional pilot but how can I achieved my dream with this particular killer diseases. I will be looking forward to here from you.May Almighty God bless you towards your contribution (Amen). Thanks please try to know that i need donation from the public you can contribute any amount you have.
Remember Please I am not scam, swindled or internet fraud star am just begging
Forhelp for my surgical operation. Remember used [email protected] for your reply.
Kola wants lots of money. How can I refuse, its only $20,000 he needs! Time to mess with him. Let’s see if I can change his name to Cola.
I think that I may be in a position to help you. I would like to know what your condition is. $20,000 is a lot of money. I would like to know what doctor you are seeing. I can probably help.
Tell me more,
DAY 2 - December 28
Subject: i thank you for your reply
I thank you for your reply may Almighty God bless you (Amen) i see doctor for skin in Lagos Hospital he is the one that recommended a letter for me to travel out of the state that the case can not handle in nigeria that is nigeria don't have the equiment for the surgical so the is the doctor email addresse [email protected] is the doctor for skin in that hospital so i will like to here more form you thanks
Now an email from the Doctor. Curiously, sent from the same computer 17 minutes later. It is easy to tell this Doctor attended the Finest Medical Schools.
hi doctor Elvis
the boy told me about you i am the doctor thta recommed the letter for the boy you can see the picture of that boy now yourself the case can not handle here that why i recommed the letter with conjuction with health organisation so bearer with him and assist him with what you have.
Dr. Johnson Note: forwarded message attached.
Obviously a picture nabbed off the net. Looks like a little Oxy-10 will take care of that Acne, I mean that killer disease. Of course Kola and the Doctor are the same...
DAY 3 - December 29
Thank you for sending coca Cola's photo. From the looks of it, and being an excellent doctor, it appears that he has a bad case of ElmerFuddus Rabbitism. Is that what you diagnosed? What is Cola's age and body temperature? What is Cola's IQ? Is it below 40? I have seen IQ down to 35 to 30 in these cases. Is it even lower? Since these cases are very expensive to treat, I am willing to help that all that I can.
I helped someone about 2 years ago with ElmerFuddus Rabbitism, a Mr. Bugsabunny. That cost about $25,000 USD to treat. It seemed like a looney tuney thing to do, but I donated about half of that amount.
So tell me more about yourself and Cola. Please answer my questions.
Success! Kola is being called Cola!
About the Doctor
My name is Doctor John Johnson
I am from Lagos Teaching Hospital (Nigeria)
I am the director of all doctors in that hospital
my diagonised is skin and blood prevention
cola age is 20years old
cola body temperature is 0 degree
cola iq is below 40 is 30
Cola full name is Balogun kola
he was 20years old
he has a poor family background & he wanted to became
someone in futures
so that all i can tell you about cola and me
thank you for staying with poor masses
Being an excellent doctor in 419 Land, I instantly diagnosed Cola’s problem! The patient is Frozen Solid at 0 degrees! I never heard of Skin and Blood PREVENTION! The IQ of 30 is pretty obvious and should undergo further demonstration.
IQ 30: Illiterate to up to 1st Grade Level; Skills: up to simple, non-critical household chores. Yep, that’s our Cola!
DAY 4 - December 30th
Subject: thank you
i have told my doctor he said he will sent the mail to you okay. thank you for taking time to here me
Cola seems so nice and polite. Too bad he is a thief and a liar!
It sounds like you are doing a good job treating coca Cola. Is Cola in pain? Sometimes the Carbon Dioxide (CO2) in the liquid runs low and fizz is lost. Do you think coca Cola is getting flat? Are you going to treat Cola there or outside the country? How many doctors work for you? If you wanted another job, you could work for me! Would that interest you? I want to help Cola all that I can. Before I give money to help Cola, I need a copy of your medical degree and license. I need a copy of them so I can give money without being taxed on the money. With no taxes, I can give more money! I am sure that you understand.
And a follow up to the same person, I mean to the patient Cola.
I am happy that you have such a good doctor. I am going to help you all that I can. I need some documents from your doctor first, otherwise I will be taxed so much that I will not be able to send any money to you. Your doctor understands. He can just email me what I need. Try to warm up!
Since I really got this guy going, I now start to paste all the emails together in Word and add to it daily.
DAY 5 - December 31
The Doctor is one of few words…
i thank you for your reply i understand that from you i will tried to do that but just give me sometime for me to prepre it i will send it to you ok
And Cola, well even fewer words…
Subject: Re: thank you
i thank you i will tell my doctor to do that for you
Can’t imagine what he is coming up with. Since he has little computer skills, I’m imagining he will draw something up with crayons! I send off a quick note to him…I mean them.
Thank you for writing. Hope you are feeling well. I'm sure that your doctor will send me what I need. I want to help you very much.
Thank you for working on that. I need those documents so I will be able to send you money. I can send money to another doctor for medical research without being taxed on the money. Otherwise, I will be taxed too much and will not be able to send any money.
DAY 6 – January 1, 2005
thank you for giving me time to search for the document. But i went to inform you that for the past a month i have been out of my state to another state in Nigeria for medical conference. i tought that my wife will able to found it. But she could't . so this conference will last for three month. so before I arrive to my state is next three month. i infrom one of my friend to scan and send his own document. But he refuse to do so. please Dr. Elvis if you real want to help that boy out of that killer disease please try to send the money little by little to avoid much taxes.if the boy has catch the money by him self i will inform one of my doctor in hospital to prepre the travelling since the boy has told me about you that will i have been faitfull to you ok thanks and bearer with the boy
Seems that forging a few fake documents is too difficult of a task. 3 month conference, what BS! For $20,000 you would think that he would come up with a document! I’m not letting him off that hook this easily, but I will come back to this after stirring up some trouble.
Let the fun begin! Before he starts with the Western Union payment info, lets shake this guy up and get him to think that $2500 is being sent to him with no way to collect money!
I sent a very special package to your doctor. Ask him about it, it is wonderful news!
I’m tossing in a lot of dollar signs to get his greed going…
I just sent you a package with $2500 USD in Cash to help with Colas condition. I sent this money by express mail and you should receive it shortly. Be sure to tell me when you receive this money. I really want to work with you helping Cola. $2500 USD is a lot of money to send, but due to the urgency of Colas condition, I think this is best, don’t you?
I sent the $2500 USD in twenty-five brand new $100 bills. I went to my bank and got brand new bills, $2500 worth. The banker and I were the only people ever to handle these $100 bills. These $100 bills are nice and crispy. I sent the package with the $2500 in cash addressed to you. This $2500 should arrive to you soon.
I will not send any more money until you get the $2500. Tell me the moment you get my $2500. I know that Cola needs money, and my $2500 is just a start.
So I sent 2500 Imaginary Dollars to his Imaginary Doctor at his Imaginary Address. This should drive him nuts! He thinks that there will be $2500 sitting in the post office that cannot be delivered and he has no way to collect it. This should keep him busy trying to think of a way to get this money (and less time for him to be scamming!) Hopefully he will lose some sleep over this. My plan is to force him to admit receiving these imaginary funds, otherwise no more money will be sent.
DAY 7 - January 2
Subject: Re: For you doctor
thanks for your sincere co- operation.I was glad when i read that you are sending the money.But there is something puzzling about this. I have not giving you my mailing address and you have sent the package, that's really made me to be soconcerned about my email box.i guess someone is planing to play a dirty game which i knew nothing about.I guess my email address has been tampered with. I will like you to recall this package back if possible,because the package will not come to me. Secondly,i will like you to give me the mailing address of the reciever that was giving to you.For me to do my own private investigation.
I will like you to send this money via wester union money transfer
Elvin? Insulting the King of Rock & Roll?!? So Cola thinks that his email account has been hacked. I just want him to think that money was sent to the doctor at the hospital. Oh well, I ignore him and go out for a nice steak dinner.
Another email arrives, and the true names come out.
Subject: less i forget
Happy new Year
less i forget i want ro remmind you that i am not around. so send the money to the boy once the boy received the money and told me i will inform one of my doctor to
prepre is traveling so this is the information of the boy
Name:-Ajao sheriffdeen Kolawole
Home address:- 21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos
or you can send the money to his brother
Name:-Ajao Abdul Rasheed
Home address:-21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos
phone number:- 234-8023961808
if that you want to used the method that you used to send the money to me ok
Incase you want to you western union money transfer you can you this details
Other names :-Sulaimon Damilola
home address is :-21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos
phone number:- 234-8023961808 (Imagine that….Cola and the Doctor have the same physical address and phone number) in case you want to use western union please tell me all you details about Sender and the receiver with control keys, securtiy question and answer so it will easy for me to cash.
remmember to stop the first transaction and used one of the infromation i write down now because the money will not get to me remmemeber any email you see apart from [email protected] or [email protected] is
a internet fraud mail ok please i also need your phone number because internet
was not secure and your country any email you want to send now send it through that boy mail [email protected] ok
I tried to hack Colas email with the new information provided. Success after only 3 tries! Colas password is simply his street name, balogun. Hard to imagine, but the fake Doctor’s email password is the same.
I change both passwords on his email accounts, as well as his profile information so there is no way for him to retrieve the Yahoo and Fastermail passwords. This should drive him really crazy!
Now I have a new way to torment him!
NOTE: In Colas Inbox, there was a kind message from a very real person expressing that they were not able to help Cola due to their personal circumstances. I sent this person an email outlining the 419 scam and some 419 FAQs and links. I also encouraged this person to do an independent internet search for “419 Scam, “Advanced Fee Fraud” and “Nigeria Scam”. This turned out to be very productive.
Back to this Bozo…
DAY 8 - January 3
He's got a new email address, no surprise there. Since I have his email address, he has to create another email address to contact me.
Subject: it me doctor Johnson john
i have been trying to login to my yahoo account but he was refuse to open my box.i don't understand what is happen. Doctor elvis try and bear ware of scam or fraud star,please any mail you want to send now don't send it again to [email protected] because i was not able to login into my account again due to scam on net ok i wa the one that mail you yesterday the two mail abut the address and the infromation about cola try and bear ware of scam any information you want to send now send it here ok even though cola too can not able to login into his account again my box open yesterday i used to send to you but today he was not able to open ok elvis try and stay with me and cola
Of course this guy made another mistake, when he set up his new email account to be the doctor, instead of being John Johnson as the name, he is using “ajao sheriff”. I’m going to let this slide for now and hopefully use this later as my wildcard against him.
I continue to ignore him to keep him sweating…
Subject: its is me John Johnson
please i want to tell you that the information i give you yesterday is trute information is the one you should you to send the money please if any body change it is not from me is from the scam ok please don't let the scam collect this money from colas hand remmember again that i could'nt able to login to my account again [email protected] today i login 2/1/2005 but as from on the 3/1/2005 i was not able ok please don't mind any mail that comes from [email protected] or [email protected] again he as been hijack from me and the boy ok please used the information i sent to you last to send the money if anybody has you to change it remmember it is not from me it is from the internet fruad
am not changing anything about the information of the money please used the one i sent to you last it is me John Johnson
Bear ware of scam, frud, theifs
Ummm….how many times can he repeat this?
Subject: its is me John Johnson
any mail you want to send again use this mail don't send to [email protected] or [email protected] it has been hijack from me
and the boy
I just glance over this rehash…
Subject: it me John JOhnson
These are the details that i used for you last
Recicver name:- Ajao Sheriffdeen Kolawole
Home Address:- 21, Balogun street Iwaya Yaba Lagos Nigeria
phone Number:- 234-8023961808
His Brother owns is
Name:- Abdul Rasheed Ajao
Home Address:- 21, Balogun street iwaya yaba lagos Nigeria
you can used one of the two information to send it if you want to used the method you used to send the first transaction .remmember tried to stop that transaction he was not from me i have never give you my detail so how do you know that. remmember if you want to send it through western money union transfer you can use this details is also his brother so he will cash it for him
Name:- Sanni Sulaiman Damilola
Home Address:- 21, Balogun street Iiwaya yaba lagos Nigeria
Phone Number:- 234-8023961808
remmember to include all necessary information in order to cash easily. remmember the hackers or internet fraud star has been hijack my box with cola own both [email protected] and [email protected]
if you see any mail come throught the two is not from me or cola is from the fraudstar or Scam please elvis i will need your Tel-phone number so will can discus private remmember i sent two mail for you yestarday sunday 2/1/2005 but now i can not able to access my account and cola own if you really want to help cola please stop sending anything to those mail again ok any mail you see is it from will. these are the detail i sent last tried and bear ware of scam
i also said that if you see any mail apart from [email protected] or [email protected] that do not reply .
OK, I fire back here, and I am still ticked at him for not sending me those medical documents, 3 month conference huh! I also make up some stuff to keep him thinking there is another Mugu involved. I throw in some more $ signs to spark some more interest and give this dope little wiggle room.
I really do not who you are. I got an email from my friend coca Cola today and one from Doctor Johnson. Both of their emails come from the right email address. Cola told me that he is in good spirits, he was able to go outside for lunch and do something with bottling, his family is doing the best that they can, but he needs much help. Cola told me today that his brother was very happy. I do not know why Colas brother was so happy. He said his brother could not stop laughing. I will ask him tomorrow about it.
Doctor Johnson told me today that Cola needs money for medication. Dr. Johnson told me Cola needs $3200 USD for medicine.
Doctor Johnson told me that you are not who you appear to be, that you are faking to be Cola and faking to be Dr. Johnson just to steal money from my friend Cola!
I do not know what to believe. Are you pretending to be Dr. Johnson? I want to send money to my friend Cola, but you have to prove to me that you are the real Doctor Johnson. I asked Dr. Johnson before for a copy of his Medical Degree and Medical Certificate (Medical License), and the Doctor was out of the state but now is back. You will have to send me copies of your Medical Degree and Medical Certificate if you are the real Dr. Johnson. Email copies should be OK.
You have to send me copies of both. Doctor Johnson told me today that he can send me copies of his Medical Degree and Medical License, he just needs a day or two for his personal secretary to make a copy. I was impressed by that. So if you can send me copies of your Medical Degree and License, I might believe you.
If you do not have a medical degree and medical license, then you are no doctor, you are faking to be Dr. Johnson, you can’t treat or help my friend Cola, and you are not getting any money!
Cola needs $3200 USD for medicine. Cola is my friend and I want to help him. I will hold sending the $3200 through Western Union to Dr. Johnson until you can prove to me you are the real Doctor Johnson.
No, I’m not going to call you, because you may be a fraudster and you may just want to steal money from my friend Cola! You have to prove to me you are the real Doctor Johnson. Otherwise you are the fraudster and all you want is to take Colas money!!!
You can say all that you want, but if you cannot send me the two medical documents, you are no doctor, you cannot help Cola, and you get no money.
OK, this should confirm to him that another Mugu hacked his email and pretending to be him. Hopefully this will get Cola busy wasting time making up fake documents. Cola can’t win here, no matter what happens, Cola is always going to be a few steps behind and on the defensive. It is fun tormenting him!
DAY 9 - January 4
Subject: Re: it me John JOhnson
I thank you for reply me although you may not understand me. but i want to use this opportunity to tell you that you should not sending any money to anybody either [email protected] or [email protected] the two boxs has been hijack from me and cola. i used the box to send message to you last Sunday 2 of
January 2005 But he was hijack from frauder star yestarday monday 3 of January 2005 go and check your box and verify my last message i sent to you through that box. [email protected] any mail you see come through that box from 3 of January 2005 he is not from me or cola he is from the scammer the have hijack the two boxes i have not arrive from the conference if the [email protected] give you and degree or other document please is a fake am the really doctor. But he will had for you to know again the message i sent last was (less i forget) and other one that i told you that you should stop the transaction ok go into your box and verify please don't answer any mail that come from the two mail again is not from me he has been hijack. by the scammer. cola want to open another box to use it mail you but i stop him please bear ware again of fraud star and again do not give the [email protected] or [email protected] this mail box if you give them they will also hijack again from me ok less i forget don't send the two mails any money agin unless the money will not get to me remmember stop the first transaction so will can discuss again cola did'nt need any money for medicine or other thing they want to collet your money for nothing. i think you understand that ok i am not asking you to send me money as for now i just
want you to know that the scammer is between me and you please that is the real information i give you last if you want to send any thing for me or cola if you want to know if this is trute go through my old box [email protected] and this present ones you found out that is the same the information i give you if they has you to change it please don't change it you also you your sense to do this bear ware again of scammer
Finally he writes to his stolen email accounts...."The Hijacker". Sort of one thief to another…
Subject: you think you can hijack my box
To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
i thank you for hijack the two boxs but i want to tell you that he is not ok main why you may be laughing at me but remember that there is God he has not been easy for me to get money and help so this is only way i do boy but now you hijack it you think you can get money and wasted another soul so let wait and see what God his going to do thanks
DAY 10 – January 5
Cola sends me this twice…
Subject: it me cola
our box was hijack from the scammer yestarday Monday 3 of January 2005
although Dr. Johnson told me that i should not mail you until the problem is solved.But i call him that he should allow me to mail you and he accepted for me elvis my box is been hijack once again i am not the one that is mailing you Dr.Johnson he said to me that you sent me a package but he has not give you the information so stop any transaction as for now please don't received any mail from [email protected] and [email protected] he has been hijack from me and Dr. John so try and bear ware of Scammer am real your friend colas, Doctor john has not arrived from his trip so i don't need anything as for now don't mind [email protected] or
[email protected] this is my new email address [email protected] you can talk to me on this number 234-8023961808 go through your box and check last message that Dr.john sent to you John sent last message to you on 2, of january 2005 through his old mail address [email protected] but has from 3 of january he could not able to login.go through the last message that john sent to you and this present once you found out they all the same so my friend bear ware of scammer am your through friend cola
Dr. johnson has not arrived and he has not receicved any money from express mail so i will give you advice stop the transaction used the detail that Dr.john give you to send it if you check [email protected] and this present once [email protected] you will see it there remember i don't need any money for medicine the two mail has been hijack yestarday [email protected] and [email protected]
And even more emails….think that he is panicking?
Subject: its me cola
please don't give the hijacker [email protected] and [email protected] this two mails unless the will also hijack it from us again.
[email protected] and [email protected] because they will also hijack it
bear ware of scammer
OK, lets get him to do some explaining…One email to the “Doctor”
Hello. I am not sending any money to anyone until I figure out who you are. Cola wrote me today. Cola told me that you are really his Uncle and that you want to take his money. Cola told me that you want to make sure that he doesn’t get well. Are you really such a bad person? Are you really trying to steal money from Cola? Are you really Colas uncle?
I have extra money and I want to help people. I want to help people that need help, not someone who is just trying to take my money. I want to help my friend Cola!
I want to believe you if you are the Real Dr. Johnson. But first you have to answer some questions. I’m not sure about this, but are you saying someone took over your email? Is that what you are saying happened? Is someone pretending to be you?
Questions for you:
How was your email hijacked?
Are you Colas Uncle?
Are you a Real Doctor?
Can you send me anything that can show me who you are?
Can you send a picture of you with a sign saying “I am the Real Doctor Johnson”
And I send another email to Cola. I tell him what the hijacked Cola allegedly told me. This should confuse him more…
I got an email today. Cola told me that you are his Uncles wife. Cola told me that you are his aunt. Are you his aunt? Are you a women? I was told that you are a bad women and you would use any money sent to you for bad things! Is this true?
Is your husband pretending to be Dr. Johnson? Is Dr. Johnson his Uncle? Are you really my friend Cola or are you just a greedy woman? Are you a women pretending to be a boy?
I want to get this figured out and I need your help.
After a few hours, I send this to him from his stolen email address
Re: you think you can hijack my box
To: "ajao sheriffdeen" <[email protected]>
u tell elvis I doctr
u tell guy sen mony to me
And a bit later, just to keep him on the hook and make sure he doesn’t throw in the towel…
You have to remember that all I want to do is help my friend Cola. I want to be sure that my friend Cola gets help and that I am helping Cola. I do not want to help some trickster. I want to help my good friend Cola.
You have to remember that I have 2 Doctors and 2 Colas talking to me.
Re: Its me, Elvis
To: "Elvis King" <[email protected]>
thanks for your reply i know that you really want to help cola but i am the trute Doctor my old box was [email protected] and he has been hijacker from me on monday 3 of Janauary 2005 i used this box to sent to you on sunday 2 of january 2005 before he was hijack on monday
Elvis please try and bear ware of scammer again they are pretending like doctor and cola. cola and i has open another box and the two box is [email protected] [email protected] please don't tell the hijackers this two mail they will also block it from us again will don't know them niether we relative they are scammer they predent like cola and doctor I am not his Uncle or aunty or brother will don't know them they are scammer they have hijack the box. please don't send any money to them if you do so they use your money for life and other enjoyments and wasterd cola life ok so bear ware of that
Poor Cola, he doesn’t really know it, but he is trying to tell me that I took over his email and I should stop talking to the fake him which is really me and I should stop listening to the fake Doctor which is really me talking to myself and I should only be listening and talking to the real him. As strange as all that seems!
I am really getting tired of him whining about this hijack thing, but it is wasting his time telling me this over and over and over. I like driving him crazy, so I let it continue.
Subject: Fwd: the pics
Are you Colas Uncle? No
Are you a Real Doctor? yes my name still remind John Johnson
Can you send me anything that can show me who you are?
yes this is colas picture if i am not the really Doctor how can i see cola picture
Can you send a picture of you with a sign saying “I am the Real Doctor” I can but i Told you that i am not around i am at conference in Imo state so it is difficult for me to send.
I told cola yestarday to scan his picture again and send to me and he do so
if i am not the doctor how can i see the picture of cola
Question for you
Have you send any Money
Have you stop the frist transaction
Please stop the first transaction they are scammer
Note: forwarded message attached.
He sends me the original stupid uninformative picture…rescanned and bigger. Gee thanks Cola.
How lame this guy is! This doesn’t prove a thing. No picture of the doctor with the sign, still at the conference excuse. Well this is going to haunt him.
Subject: Re: its me cola
i thank you for your reply
elvis i told you that i don't know them they are scammer they are predenting to be and Doctor I am not is Uncle wife and again i am not is aunt am not is sister or mother or any relations i am the really cola my doctor has forward my picture to you again and Dr am your friend cola all that he wrote you his lies he his pretending to act like me and doctor i don't know him
elvis if you look at his words you will found out that he is not the same is the same person act like me and doctor they have see all messager you sent to doctor john and me in our box so they follow this information to decived you so you will belive with they say
Question for you Elvis
Has the two of them to provide first letter you see before you mail back that you want to help
He wants the Hijacker to provide the first email he sent out to scam. No problem there. But I'll get to that Cola, relax, I'm running things here not you!
Subject: bear ware
if you don't bear ware he will also hijack your own box too is very good and smart. (THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!) so bear ware of him ok and he will see all information in your boxs so don't mail him again. I think you can know the trute now
Question for you Elvis
Ask Him the first message you in your box that you reply that you help Huh?
OK, enough of this hacked email nonsense, I’m tired of hearing about it! Lets give Cola a serious problem to deal with. I am going to prove his ID by mailing the Doctor a card at his conference! This seems like a good confirmation on the legitimacy of the Doctor, but of course the problem is there is no conference and there is no such person as Doctor Johnson! If he is at the conference, then he will get my card, and if he is not at the conference, he can send me his photo and medical certificate. Lets see how he wiggles out of this one.
I am sorry that I was not able to write earlier. I am glad that you are not a women and you are not pretending to be a women. That would be strange.
Have you send any Money.
I am holding sending money out to anyone until I figure out what is going on. I want to know who is who first. I want my money to go to Cola, not some fake person that may use it for bad purposes. I want my money to do good.
Have you stop the frist transaction
I am working on that. I should know about this soon.
All the email address write and sound the same way you do. (Retarded!) I can not tell any difference between what you say and what they say.
I have been thinking about this problem we are having.
I have good news for you! I have a good way to straighten this whole thing out. I know how to make sure who is the Real Dr. Johnson and who is the trickster. I will send you a card in the mail at the 3 month conference you are at. This card will have a special codeword in it, and if you get the card and tell me the codeword, then you are the real doctor. This will tell me that you are the real doctor, and you are at the conference. The real doctor is at the conference in Imo state, if you are in Imo State at the Conference, you are the real Doctor. The Real Doctor told me he is in Imo State for the next 3 months. Isn’t this a great idea!
This will tell me for sure that you are the real doctor. Do you like my idea? If you are the real doctor, then you are at the conference in Imo state, and you will get my card. If you are the fake doctor, you are not at the conference, you will not get my card, and you will not be able to tell me the codeword. See, this is a very easy way to tell who is telling the truth!
Since you told me today you are at the conference and you are staying there for 3 months, this should not be a problem at all! You told me today you are at the conference that is why you could not send me a picture of you and your medical degree. I am so happy that I will finally figure out who the real Cola and real Doctor is.
I guess he has about 1 hour a day to write emails because that is all that he can afford at the internet café. So after reading this, he has less than an hour to think up something to get himself out of this jam.
Subject: your reply's
i know is the time to know the trute i like your Idea
i will like to do that for me.
I am not asking for money now i just want you to know the right Dr.Johnson ok
Please send me the special codeword i will reply you
please try and bear ware of the scammer they will hijack your box if you don't bear ware they will see all information in your box because they do the same to me they used all
information in my box to trace you
Question for you
have you Stop mailling [email protected] and [email protected] the two mail has been hijack and they are very good and smart (Compared to you anybody is!)
What is with this Idiot? I have never encountered anyone this stupid! Can he Read? I want to mail the card to the imaginary conference, is he expecting me to send it to his shack? We’ll see about this.
I send him this from his stolen email account…this should shake him up a little.
From the Hijacker:
why u talk mi guy
I giv u $20 u leave elvis
u tell elvis I doctr
i pay u
u tell elvis sen mony to me
Now a quick email from him…
Subject: i forget to ask you
i forget to tell you please ask your friend [email protected] and [email protected] that they should present you the frist message you see when your reply that you will help
OK, he wants the first message to show that this Hijacker is a fake. Lets use this against him. Since I took over his email, I don't think he has the original letter he sent out begging for money. So maybe he doesn't have it either. I send him another email from his stolen account.
Subject: u lose
u sen ur 1st letter to mi friend when u send to many
i sen ur 1st letter to mi guy
u no have ur 1st letter
i no sen u midle part ur letter
ha ha, u no have midle part
i sen to mi guy all part
u no have all
u have no midle to sen
i tel mi guy u no have all letter
now i ofer $0 to you
How are you? And how is your work? It is my pleasure to write this shortletter to you. My name is Kola Balogun I am young boy of 20yrs old. My main purposeof writing you this letter is all about assistance towards my body diseases (Surgery). This disease started when I was 6yrs old, my parent thought that it was only a small boil. But gradually he started to increase will went to many various Hospital although they tried there best so when was 19yrs old I went toLagos teaching Hospital (LUTH) when the Doctor at the hospital stay thatthis case cannot be handle in Nige
NO MIDLE For u. u no can sen letter to mi guy.
ase I am not scam, swindled or internet fraud star am just begging Forhelp for my surgical operation. Remember used [email protected] for your reply.
Now Elvis writes him and puts the squeeze on him. I’m not happy that he didn’t get that conference address to sink in to his little brain.
Why do you tell me to ignore the other Doctor then tell me to ask him for the first letter? How can I ignore him and not write him when you want me to ask him for the first letter? I have to tell you that I did get the first email sent to me from the other Dr. Johnson earlier today. He told me that you cannot send me the first letter sent to me. He told me that you can not send it because you are a fake and a trickster and a liar.
He said that if you are the real Doctor, you should send me the letter. He said that you do not have the whole letter. He said that if you are missing some of the letter, it is because you are a fake and a liar and I should not listen to you.
So can you send me the first letter you sent me? I will read the whole thing to see if there is anything missing.
The other Doctor sent me the first mail, and it was all complete. I compared it to first one that I got and nothing was missing. It was all there. So you have to send me the first mail. You have to remember that you are the one who asked me to have him send the first mail. He did send me the first mail and now it is your turn. You are the one who suggested the first mail. Your turn now.
Also, you never did tell me where to send the card with the codeword. I want the address of the conference in Imo State. The address you give me must be in Imo State. If it is in Lagos, that is not right because the conference is in Imo State. Doctor Johnson told me that the conference is in Imo state three times and also he told me three times that he is there for 3 months.
So, you have to send me
To keep him off guard, I sent him this from his other stolen "Hijacked" email account:
To: [email protected]
why u no talk
He sends me the original letter begging for money about his skin and….
Notice Board 1
I am not swindling or internet fraud star am just begging for help in order to live in life try to mail.
Notice Board 2
i used [email protected] for the reply before he was hijack by the scammer so now i open another new mail for cola now is [email protected]
Notice board 3
Elvis this people are using my information in my box to trace you and decived you so that you will bilief what they are saying
Notice board 4
try and bear ware agin if you don't want to loose your inofrmation in your box because they are very good and smart (thank you again for the compliment!) they are scammer
Your last question is
Eastern Hospital in Imo State Nigeria the full name was (Imo State Teaching Hospital )
I think Cola is getting a little paranoid. Understandable since he sits in an internet cafe surrounded by fellow 419 scammers.
DAY 11 - January 6
Subject: your answer
i am not happy to mail you again since is difficult for you to found out the right person. i have been trying to let you understand that those peoples are scammer they are using all our information in our box to talk to you.
i said you should stop mailling them all our information is with them so it will difficult for you to know the right will are not asking for money as for now but they are asking you money all the time All they want is your money i told you that i am cola that my old box was hijack by the scammer and Dr.johnson owns [email protected]
and [email protected] if am not cola how can will give you the picture of cola so i don't have much to say i pray for you that Almighty God will show you the right person (Amen)
I send him this quick email to pep him up a little. He has been on the defensive for too long and I want to keep him hooked. I’m going to give him a little confidence then slam him around more of course.
I must tell you that I am very impressed by what you sent me! Thank you for sending me the original letter. I feel much better about you. I will be careful of anyone trying to steal my email box. I don’t even let my wife near my computer, I keep her in the kitchen where she belongs!
I am also very impressed that you are not asking me for money every 5 minutes. I have been asked for $3200 for medicine (OXY10 medicine for his back), $1800 for a Monoculator from Stalag 13 for the doctor, and Cola asked me $600 for new road runner ACME shoes and a used tooth brush.
DAY 12 - January 7
Subject: the confarmation
when i maill my old box see they reply they give me i open another box to mail the two boxs please read the
replys sent to me
He did a horrible job pasting what I sent him from his hacked email to me. In the middle of all the Yahoo advertisements and text scripts, 3 pages worth (!), I saw “mi guy elvis” and all the rest.
Subject: i want you to know
Do not mail them that i forward the message to you because they can also forge a mail that he comes from me. i just want you to know the trute information
OK, time to fire back at him. I’m going to send him what the Hacked Doctor says about him. I used an automated complaint letter generator:
This complaint generator comes up with paragraphs of things that sound impressive, but nonsense to follow. This should overwork his poor little mugu brain. I suggest you glance at the first few sentences and the last ones where I customized it. Even I didn’t bother to read the whole thing! I whip this up in a few minutes and send it off…
Subject: About You
This is what the other Doctor has been saying about you!
My Dear Friend Elvis,
It is so nice to talk to you once again my dear friend. Ignore that fool who says he is Doctor Johnson. Let's talk again about an all-too-familiar subject: Dr. John Fake Johnson and his devious ploys. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Dr. Fake Johnson himself. If nothing else, you should never forget the three most important facets of his perversions, namely their intolerant origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue.
If we let Dr. Fake Johnson gain a virtual stranglehold on many facets of our educational system, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. I do not wish to evaluate unilateralism here, though I think that Dr. Fake Johnson has no soul. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that a great many decent people are just as distressed as I am about his snow jobs. Well, how about this for evidence: Dr. Fake Johnson somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information), distortions (the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of Dr. Fake Johnson's own base nature"), and misplaced idealism (Dr. Fake Johnson is omnipotent). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "chromatographic".
Dr. Fake Johnson's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that he is a martyr for freedom and a victim of parasitism?) Dr. Fake Johnson says that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of quasi-viperine stereotypes. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely immature and gruesome lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Dr. Fake Johnson's faithfuls.
He demands obeisance from his acolytes. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Dr. Fake Johnson forces them to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships throughout the entire society. How can we trust him if he doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, honest people will admit that his shenanigans have reached a depth of degeneracy that was virtually unknown in the past. Concerned people are not afraid to spread the word about Dr. Fake Johnson's dodgy, ornery musings to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers. And sensible people know that by allowing Dr. Fake Johnson to do exactly the things he accuses eccentric sots of doing, we are allowing him to play puppet master. Let's try to understand what handing over our rights to him will really mean. It certainly won't mean that we'll be able to freely ring the bells of truth. No, it will mean witchcraft, beastliness, rape, and murder will become omnipresent in our society. It will mean a descent back into the jungle.
Dr. Fake Johnson's misguided, vainglorious effusions convince me of only one thing: that Fake Johnson asserts that his propositions are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. The great irony is that his perceptions are sophomoric to the core. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his tendentious flimflams. Curiously, when I first became aware of Dr. Fake Johnson's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why sex-crazed wastrels are intrigued and puzzled by Dr. Fake Johnson's amalgam of Pecksniffian hooliganism and paltry materialism -- a tangled web of KKK, Freudian, encounter-therapy, populist, Ayn Rand-like, and Marxist notions. My peers aver that if stated outright, Dr. Fake Johnson's cop-outs would be manifestly unpopular. While this is honestly true, I contend we must add that I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Dr. Fake Johnson want to treat people like self-aggrandizing, wanton propagandism enthusiasts. Call me larcenous if you'd like; I will still do everything in my power to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community. Then, I will announce to the world that for those of us who make our living trying to place a high value on honor and self-respect, it is important to consider that an armed revolt against him is morally justified. However, I maintain that it is not yet strategically justified.
Whenever there's an argument about Dr. Fake Johnson's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Dr. Fake Johnson embraces revanchism with open arms. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. He must sense his own irremediable inferiority. That's why Dr. Fake Johnson is so desperate to fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries; it's the only way for him to distinguish himself from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Dr. Fake Johnson also realized that if we are to embrace the cause of self-determination and recognize the leading role and clearer understanding of those people for whom the quintessential struggle is an encompassing liberation movement against the totality of sectarianism, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the bleeding-heart and crazy ideologies that Dr. Fake Johnson promotes. Griping about Dr. Fake Johnson will not make him stop trying to paint pictures of bitter worlds inhabited by contemptuous jackanapes. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not sullen undesirables. Dr. Fake Johnson, get a life! Just look at the bill of fare served up in recent movies and television programs, and you will hardly be able to deny that it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by his iconoclastic put-downs. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his brethren.
He owes us all an apology, right? Right. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Is it possible for those who defend pestiferous fogyism to make their defense look more destructive than it currently is?" I, for one, would venture the answer has something to do with neopaganism. To elaborate, Dr. Fake Johnson recently claimed that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before.
One thing is certain: By now, we are all more than familiar with his loud nostrums. In view of that, it is not surprising that his stories about Jacobinism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Before I leave this issue, let me share an interesting finding from a recent poll: Four out of five people surveyed feel that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which Dr. Fake Johnson has tried to construct the spectre of a terrible armed threat.
When he says that he can override nature, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. We can say that Dr. Fake Johnson's stratagems have led to date rape, domestic violence, pornography, and other social ills, and Dr. Fake Johnson can claim the opposite, and it won't make one bit of difference. His precepts all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. In plain, simple-to-understand English, our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to find the common ground that enables others to follow through on the critical work that has already begun, we must promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because you might say, "Society has paid a dear price for letting Dr. Fake Johnson curry favor with infantile renegades using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their 'value', their 'importance', their 'educational mission', and other unimaginative nonsense." Fine, I agree. But if Fate desired that he make a correct application of what he had read about opportunism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the deranged fool would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, his whitewash of the issue offers no real analysis of the situation that resulted in his dictatorial words in the first place. To top that off, his equivocations are based on hate. Hate, expansionism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. What I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that my dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to begin the debate about Dr. Fake Johnson's invectives. My aim is to tackle the multinational death machine that Dr. Fake Johnson is currently constructing. In fact, I have said that to Dr. Fake Johnson on many occasions, and I will keep on saying it until he stops trying to compromise the things that define us, including integrity, justice, love, and sharing.
Given a choice of having him reinforce the impression that malignant losers -- as opposed to Dr. Fake Johnson's sycophants -- are striving to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I, not being one of the many lewd callous-types of this world, would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Dr. Fake Johnson uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. He likes to cite poll results that "prove" that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented hastily mounted campaigns. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will indubitably find that Dr. Fake Johnson maintains that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that it's his belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to resort to underhanded tactics. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an unprincipled idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that Dr. Fake Johnson has abandoned ethics altogether. (Actually, this is no laughing matter, but that's not important now.) I can only teach the most perfidious despots you'll ever see about tolerance if Dr. Fake Johnson's army of boisterous televangelists is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anyone and everyone for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. To wrap up, I'll just hit the key elements of this letter one last time. First, there is every indication that Dr. John Fake Johnson reports the news selectively in order to advance his agenda. Second, imprudent muttonheads are unable to see that Dr. Fake Johnson is unable to see any issue in a broad perspective or from more than one side. And finally, Dr. Fake Johnson will go to almost any extreme to prevent my message of truth from getting out.
I want this letter to serve as an oasis of sanity in Dr. John Fake Johnson's desert of foolishness. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, I have reason to believe that Dr. Fake Johnson is about to use organized violence to suppress opposition. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that if Dr. Fake Johnson can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that his opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality -- I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Libidinous Rhetoric. In the meantime, Dr. Fake Johnson has, at times, called me "pathological" or "drugged-out". Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to control what we do and how we do it. If we are powerless to disabuse Dr. Fake Johnson of the notion that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his appalling, besotted prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers, it is because we have allowed Dr. Fake Johnson to bamboozle people into believing that laws are meant to be broken.
If I am correct that he attempts to sound intelligent by cramming as many big words into a sentence as possible, whether they are used correctly or not, then Bonapartism is dangerous. Dr. Fake Johnson's damnable version of it is doubly so. To malign and traduce me is Dr. Fake Johnson's objective, and cacodemonic, wild sesquipedalianism is his method. In point of fact, "Dr. Fake Johnson" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community, I tell him or her to stop "Dr. Fake Johnson-ing". He has never tried to stop fickle blockheads who sentence more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death. In fact, quite the opposite is true: Dr. Fake Johnson encourages that sort of behavior.
Although he has unfairly depicted me and those who share my beliefs as liars and cheats and goof-offs, we are neither. Yes, Dr. Fake Johnson uses the word "literally" when he means "metaphorically", but his faithfuls carry out orders like puppets obeying the puppeteer. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me lift the fog from his thinking. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because Dr. Fake Johnson presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures.
As I stated, this Doctor Fake Johnson is a fake, a fraud, a liar, and a thief. If you send me $500 I will kick him in the nuts for you. This should be done as soon as possible.
-The Real Doctor Johnson
Now we can’t Forget Cola! Once again…the first few sentences and the last paragraph is mine, a little customization. Minutes later, I send this…
This is what the other Cola has been saying about you.
My good Friend Elvis. It is so nice to write to you. I am trying to do better but the pain I am in is very bad. I need money for my surgery. I am angry. Angry that events have transpired that lead me to write this statement about the Fake Cola. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter, but the conclusion's general outline is that Fake Cola will stop at nothing to dominate or intimidate others. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, once you understand Fake Cola's memoirs, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Fake Cola put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse. Your guess is as good as mine as to why he wants to gag the innocent accused from protesting careerism-motivated prosecutions. Maybe it's because he plans to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. I might be able to forgive Fake Cola, but only if he promises never again to abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and froward, prodigal calumniators. His idea of filthy alcoholism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a complacent blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, a coldhearted and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a merciless frenzy and then prompts them to play the blame game.
Don't be fooled: The fact of the matter is that if he thinks that laws are meant to be broken, then he's sadly mistaken. For the moment, I will concentrate on the fact that ever since Fake Cola decided to pollute the great canon of English literature with references to his disagreeable agendas, his consistent, unvarying line has been that the worst types of coldhearted Fake Cola clones there are are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive.
While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because he has bid adieu to objectivity. But it goes further than that; no matter how bad you think his vituperations are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Without a doubt, however, prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially Fake Cola's featherbrained form of it -- is. There is no defense against ridicule. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that his opuscula blend short-sighted racialism (manifested in a sex-crazed, rude stance) with a purported support for environmentalism, trade unionism, and the dignity of labor. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. You may be wondering why self-satisfied deviants latch onto Fake Cola's convictions. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why I honestly feel that Fake Cola has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. He obviously has none, or he wouldn't flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet.
Leaving aside the behavior of other selfish jerks, just because Fake Cola and his stooges don't like being labelled as "stubborn half-wits" or "uncompromising, impudent fast-buck artists" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. Who is he to say that everything is happy and fine and good? You know what? His spin doctors have discounted their brain as a useless organ. If you doubt this, just ask around.
Fake Cola is battening on us, and besides, if it were up to Fake Cola, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. Several things he has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. Out of the vast number of devastating evils for which slatternly chiselers are directly or indirectly responsible, I shall pick out only a single one which is most in keeping with the inner essence of Fake Cola's juvenile maneuvers: opportunism. I know more about radicalism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Fake Cola can't possibly believe that anyone who dares to lift the fog from his thinking can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. He's stupid, but he's not that stupid. While some information provided by his understrappers may be factual, other material is unsubstantiated rumor or shabby harangues.
By refusing to act, by refusing to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come, we are giving Fake Cola the power to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. In the past, when I complained that he was attempting to paint pictures of overweening worlds inhabited by the most vindictive carousers I've ever seen, I was told that I was just being brain-damaged. But nowadays, people realize that socially inept, spineless liars and cheats often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Fake Cola enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with his attitudes. He obviously didn't have to pass an intelligence test to get to where he is today, because his knowledge of how things work is completely off the mark. First of all, Fake Cola has a strategy. His strategy is to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him destroy the lives of good, honest people. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Fake Cola.
All I can tell you is what matters to me: His writings were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that name-calling and a general lack of respect for the opinions of others are a clear indication of insecurity. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: Fake Cola is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, Fake Cola throws principle to the wind. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that he is surely possessed by the devil. Of that I am certain, because this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to mock, ridicule, deprecate, and rebuke people for their religious beliefs. Not yet, at least. But perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of pompous, oppressive hoodlums. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that if Fake Cola gets his way, I might very well stampede into the abattoir. You may be surprised to learn that I was once like Fake Cola. I, too, wanted to institutionalize neopaganism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. It interfered with my judgment, my reasoning, and my ability to give you some background information about Fake Cola. Currently, he lacks the clout to toss sops to the egos of the rancorous. But quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "philoprogenitiveness", he will have enough worshippers to spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. I unmistakably don't want to have to hear his rambling streams of consciousness. Interestingly, he doesn't seem to care about that.
I could accept, perhaps, platitudes backed by the forces of logic and powerful reasoning. Newsgroup postings marked with hypocrisy and contradiction, however, merit none of my respect. Please don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. In fact, the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to comment on his plans for the future? For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: whenever Fake Cola finds himself confronted by the law, he insists it needs reforming. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different classes of lackluster tribalism.
The practical struggle which now begins, sketched in broad outlines, takes the following course: I try never to argue with him, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason. I firmly believe that Fake Cola's dupes allege, after performing shoddy research and utilizing threadbare scholarship, that a number of their enemies are planning to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that someone once said to me, "Fake Cola's priorities are inverted." This phrase struck me so forcefully that I have often used it since.
While the concept of broad-based peace and social justice coalitions remains desirable, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how there are lawsuits in Fake Cola's future. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. Fake Cola supports a wide variety of wheelings and dealings. Some are resentful; others are myopic. A few openly support emotionalism. To end this letter, I would like to make a bet with Mr. Fake Fake Cola. I will gladly give Fake Cola a day's salary if he can prove that he does the things he does "for the children", as he insists. If Fake Cola is unable to prove that, then his end of the bargain is to step aside while I review the basic issues at the root of the debate. So, do we have a bet, Fake Cola?
When I first heard about his contrivances, I dismissed them as merely dishonest. But when I later learned that Fake Cola wants me to cower before the emotions and accusations of others, I realized that if you've never seen Fake Cola condone universal oppression, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself.
It's my hunch that if sesquipedalianism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal. While there's no use crying over spilled milk, Fake Cola's put-downs are an abysmal carnival of propagandism. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that many people are shocked when I tell them that widespread expansionism is the price we'd pay for making "teleoroentgenography" a dirty word. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that he acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. Fake Cola's ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, his core principle has remained the same: to go to great lengths to conceal his true aims and mislead the public. If you don't believe me, then note that if Fake Cola isn't worthless, I don't know who is. Although he has never read carefully anything I've written, he is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because Fake Cola's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that his new changes will be even more infernal, because Fake Cola likes to cite poll results that "prove" that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Fake Cola claims that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. I respond that posterity will have little occasion to glorify his "heroic" existence in a new epic.
While it is reasonable to expect that soporific self-promoters tend to dismiss reason, science, and objective reality, it remains that if Fake Cola feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself. It is common knowledge that his recommendations are merely a stalking horse. They mask Fake Cola's secret intention to subjugate persons of culture, refinement, and learning to what I call lazy weasels. Everybody knows that Fake Cola's failure to ratchet up our level of understanding is so hate-filled that Fake Cola uses his ignorance as grounds for belligerence, but you should consider that Fake Cola's slaves tend to fall into the mistaken belief that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to Fake Cola's demands, mainly because they live inside a Fake Cola-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other.
I, hardheaded cynic that I am, would like to comment on his attempt to associate Fabianism with jingoism. There is no association. So, what's my take on Fake Cola's meretricious refrains? Simply this: He says that his activities are on the up-and-up. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. As for me, I have no bombs, no planes, no artillery, and no terrorist plots. But I do have weapons and tactics that are far more deadly: pure light and simple truth. If I said that Fake Cola has achieved sainthood, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being thoroughly honest if I said that what we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person -- every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility -- must concern himself with it.
His claim that society is screaming for his op-ed pieces is factually unsupported and politically motivated. I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner. Fake Cola's argument that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not is hopelessly flawed and utterly circuitous. What's the difference between Fake Cola's encomiasts, who are legion, and hopeless, crude extortionists? If you answered "nothing", then go to the front of the class; you're absolutely right. Unless Fake Cola could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else, it is simply wrong to conclude that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't.
I wish that some of his flunkies would ask themselves, "Why am I helping him pamper the worst types of macabre freebooters there are?" As a general rule, he wants to reinforce the concept of collective guilt that is the root of all prejudice. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. Fake Cola's evil excuses are an epiphenomenon of petulant tribalism. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that he ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Fake Cola can't possibly believe that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. He's stupid, but he's not that stupid.
Again, his revenge fantasies are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're completely abusive, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I don't care a brass farthing about what he thinks of me. Of that I am certain, because it seems clear that his sick fantasy fits neatly into his logorrheic model of society. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Fake Cola extend his 15 minutes of fame to 15 months. Fake Cola's inane prognoses can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance.
You may make the comment, "What does this have to do with frightful pamphleteers?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that there is a problem here. A large, morbid, stupid problem. Facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever Fake Cola dreams up. That proves that it would be charitable of me not to mention that I regret not writing this letter sooner. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that when I say that his cult followers are hardly strangers to oligarchism, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. This is a common fallacy held by harebrained hackers. He has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that if he gets his way, none of us will be able to empower the oppressed to control their own lives. Therefore, we must not let him turn bullies loose against us good citizens.
That other Cola is a fake. For a mere $320 I will bang his face into his keyboard. I wish I had new glasses so I could see his face getting smashed better instead of a being a red bloody blur. Thank you for taking the time to hear me once again my friend. I am the Real Cola.
-The Real Cola
A few hours later I send this. I want to give him the impression that he is one step ahead of the Hacker….an indirect and contrived confidence builder.
Subject: i giv u mony
To: "ajao sheriffdeen" <[email protected]>
u no can sen mi guy ur 1 note
u tel mi guy sen mony me
how muchs u want ?
u tel mi guy sen mony me ok
i giv u mony
i giv u mony 1st ok?
how muchs mony u want
u talk to me
i nic guy
DAY 13 - January 8
Subject: your confermation
i see ur last message you sent but all i want to tell you is that i have mail the hijackers of my old mails that they should pray that what happen to cola should happen to them by Almighty God becuase they want to wasterd another person soul beacuse of worldly things i know that is only God that knows everything in the earth and in the heaven; I pray to this hijackers of the two mail by the Almighty God that what happen to cola will surely happen to them (Amen) i have getting tied of mailling every time.
i told you that i am the real doctor that my old box has been hijack with kolas own but you refuse to believe me
because i usually browse at commercial cafe at the conference
Notice Baord 1
elvis i want you to do this fevour for me pretending that you want to send those peoples money that you have already knows that they are hijackers and see what they will do
Notice Board 2
Elvis upon all information you have had from me and others you still don't believe me i am not asking you for a second about money but they are asking you several time can't you look at this
Notice Board 3
Elvis i know that all my information is in their hands with picture of the back of cola ask them to provide the front picture of cola but don't ask them as for now first ask them that you want to send them a lot of money and see with they will do
And some blah from Cola...
Doctor said i should stop giving you mail again that i should hand over to him ok
And to the Hijacker:
Subject: i pray for you
To: [email protected]
i want to pray for you that want heppen to cola will sure happen to you because you want to wasterd another person soul becuase you want to enjoy the money and other lifes money will wast please i want you to continue this bad job donation from the public so the boy see and you want to block it also block your way from generation to generation please continue with this Bad jod i love it from you. But remember what happen to you is from your hands
The Hijacker writes him:
why u no work wit mi
why u do tis?
i nic guy lik i told u
u tell me trut ok
u be tru me i be ok wit u
He writes back to the Hijacker:
God will return the diseases of cola to you or your next generation if you still insist that you will distop the donation for cola
My Reply to him to keep him in the game. Also I do this because I have a new plan for him and I am setting him up…
Subject: Agreement Offer
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
Hello. I thank you very much for your email. I feel that you are very sincere. Since you are so sincere and I do get the impression that you are a good person, I want to make an agreement with you. Hopefully this will make things easier for both you and me. I want both you and I to have a relief from the stress of this.
OK, here is what I offer to you because you are a sincere person and I really do like you:
A simple Agreement between YOU and ME (if you agree?):
I will not email these other guys at all and I will not send them any money at all for a Full 14 Days. I will not contact anyone else but You for 14 days. I also agree not to read or open any emails from them. I will NOT email, read email, or reply to email from them. I will only send and read email only from you and to you.
But of course, if you agree, you have to do something! You agree to send a picture and tell me in detail, what is going on. No lies, nothing but the full truth. Over the 14 days, you have to send me a picture of you and Cola together with a Sign that says “Elvis”.
OK, here is our agreement:
My 14 Day Agreement:
1. Not Informing Anyone Of Our Agreement
2. For 14 Days I Will Cut-off Email with these others
3. No Reading Email From These Others
4. No Sending Email To These Others
5. Not Sending Any Money to Anyone
6. Reading Email and Replying to Email Only From You
and To You (except emails from my wife)
Your 14 Day Agreement:
1. Not Informing Anyone Of Our Agreement
2. You Email and Contact Only Me (or to your family)
3. Simply Tell the Truth:
Why Your Email Was Stolen
Your Relationship with Cola
As many details of You and Cola as reasonably possible.
You will email me as often as you reasonably can
You and Cola together with "Elvis" Sign
Also, you agree, if I request, that you can and will email me another picture of both You And Cola with a sign with a different word (just to be sure that you are both the same people in the first picture and agree that I can change the word on the sign to a reasonable and respectable word and have a picture taken at a respectable and reasonable place)
So is it a deal? I am a gentlemen and I agree to these terms right now. I await your reply.
So how about that for a deal? Cola can’t pass this up! I’m going to stop contacting the Hijacker and only contact him. The reason for my plan, I want to get some documents (trophies) from him, I want to get him to get this hijacker thing off his mind so he can get working on those documents, and I have a really fun plan lined up for him after I get a few trophies. Can you tell that I want the damn documents?
DAY 14 - January 9
Subject: i was happy today
i thank Almighty God for making you to come to an end with the thrute information and i also thank you also for bear with me since the day of hijack May God Bless all your needs (Amen) i know that you really want to help cola, so i received your message today i was very happy about it. i agreed with you agreement i will try and scan my picture with cola and i will send it to you. please i don't understand your Elvis signature you don't send your signature to me. please explain to me detail what you mean about your signature OK
Elvis i think you know that i am still in conference i will ask my friend to please and send his own pictures with cola and also all document you required before doctor degree and lenience
Subject: less i forget
less i forget
i need your phone number either land or mobile or you can contact me through the phone i gave you last 234-8023961808
DAY 15 - January 10
So he is happy, that’s good. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. I think by signature he is asking for my address? (finally this clown asks!). OK, enough of this happiness, lets give him a shake-up.
Subject: Re: i was happy today
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
I do not understand what you mean by 'signature'? If you mean 'signature' the way you are saying it then I am very offended.
Lets shake him up some more and motivate him to get those documents to me, 4 hours later I send him….
Let me clarify my earlier email, asking someone 'for their signature’ is a bad slang term. It means your asking them what sex they do. It means asking what sex acts do they do! That is why I was so offended!
That is why I am not very happy with you at all! I think that we have been through a lot and I think of you as my friend, then you ask me this! Not good my friend!!!
So where are those documents?
I made that up to get this clown back on the defensive and get him motivated. Get him happy and settled and then smash him is a fun thing. So who is running this thing? I really want those trophies so I can get my new plan in action.
DAY 16 - January 11
Subject: please don't be annoyed
To: [email protected]
i am sorry about that is because i don't understand that is the reason why i ask you. please don't be annoyed with me ok About the document i have been prepred it please give me something to do this ok I will forward everything to you at once both the two document and the picture of cola and I so it will easy for you to do your process at once
Please remember to give me your telephone number because of security reason my own number is 234-8023961808 Any time you want to make transaction i will first give you a call becuase of scammer
He then sends this to the Hijacker:
Subject: release my password
To: [email protected]
I want my password back please release my password for me hence what happen to you comes from your hand
I create a new account and guy 'Barrister Mubamba'. Mubamba is a name that looks kinda mean. Mubamba writes him with some bogus email passwords. This will keep him busy for a few minutes on the computer.
From: "barrister mubamba" <[email protected]>
Subject: ur email bak
To: [email protected]
u b mi friend?
i nic guy
Password [email protected]: ismartudum
Password [email protected]: igeturmony
DAY 17 - January 12
Didn’t hear from him today. I didn’t want to waste any time of him….so the sick excuse of my imaginary wife cooking for me comes into play. Of course I am writing to a “doctor”, do you think I will get any sound medical advice?
Subject: Forgive me not writing
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
Hello my friend. I am sorry that I have not written to you sooner. I have been feeling very sick. My wife made fish last night and I have not been good. I think the fish was bad. I should be better soon. I hope all is well with you.
DAY 18 - January 13
Some pictures arrive with unbelievable amounts of BS!
Sorry Elvis about that I Know very soon you will get better I have arrived on monday this week at conference center i have to cut off the conference because of what you ask me to send. So i mailed you on Tuesday evening and get all the document at home on my way to the scanning I was robbed by an armed robber with all things in my briefcase was collected including the document with Photos and cola International Pasport in the folder i hold, for scanning, I reported the case to the police imidiately. and the forcemen assistance. the armed robber though that is the money inside the briefcase
This make me unhappy because of all my document i don't present to you. What do you think I can do, because the government says it will be at least one month to issue me another one. because of cola situation. we try to get another International passport for cola which i have scan and attached for you to see under.
I don't get myself, I am confused now because of this situation. and the stress am facing, what can i do immidaietly to serve cola situation before next week. that is the reason i don't mail you yesterday. for the stress am undergo. please i will like you to help cola to send the money little by little in order to serve the life
Dr.Elvis (He Signed with My Name!)
Information About Cola
Surname is Ajao Balogun
Other Name is Sheriffdeen Kolawole
Address is 21, Balogun street iwaya Yaba lagos Nigeria
International passport number is A2906454
Remember to include all the information you add to it like control keys security question and the answer and others thing Please any time you want to send please first give me a call because of security reason direct all things to cola ok
please used [email protected] for next reply (he has a new account now!)
ok i just open the account today becuase of the scammer (I am a scaring him!)
Notice Board again
The scammer and the hijack has mail me today please bear ware again they have come again i Don't know how they get my box again
Note: forwarded message attached.
I like his passport, it was issued yesterday! How about that timing? What are the odds? What does that signature say, "Arse"! Yep, that describes him! So that’s what he was doing yesterday. Since he has limited computer skills, I guess he paid some Mugu to trump this up for him. Yep, that is his real date of birth, I have that confirmed in his stolen Yahoo account profile.
Looks like a Purse Snatcher on the 6 o’clock news! Probably the runner up for his passport photo.
Posture Cola, gotta work on that posture…
Here is a picture of Cola with his killer disease! He sure does look sick. Yep, I’m going to jump on sending him money so he can get treated right away. Since you have his address, why not send him some money, or at least invite him over for dinner!
Where is that Elvis Sign? STILL No Medical Degree?
DAY 19 - January 14
Subject: hello it me the real cola
it has been long that i haer from you thanks for everything you have been saying i love that from you (that’s just sick and wrong!) My doctor said he as mail you today he ask me to remember you if you want to send anything you should used is current box becuase of hijacks ok
And also any amount you want to send you should please tell him even if possible you should first giving him a call 234-8023961808 remember if you want to send money always used western union and direct everything to me Cola remember reply ur mail through the newbox
A message to him with rather obvious meanings he can’t comprehend. Of course I send this to his old account…I’m not cooperating with him with his new email account.
I am so sorry that you were robbed! I felt so bad hearing your story. I’ve had a robber try to rob me recently, then I hit the robber in the head with a metal pipe so hard he didn’t know what was happening! I slapped him all over the place. This robber had no idea what was happening. I kept hitting him over and over and then I rubbed his face into the ground! I’m not going to tell you what happened to that pipe, but it is in a not so sunny place. But none of my money was lost. I figured he deserved it since he was there to steal money from people. You see, I was ready for him, and when he was trying to take money, BAMM! I hope the police catch that awful robber soon. I am so glad that you were not hurt or injured. Please let me know when he is captured. I hope that you aren’t scared!
Please my friend, do not feel bad. You told me that it will take a month to get your documents back. You know me by now. You know that I am a patient person. I can wait a month. I can wait a few weeks for you to get your documents. When you get them, just send them to me, OK?
Thank you for the photographs. I do not know why you didn’t send a photo with the Elvis sign. Please let me know when you get you documents, and also when the Elvis photo will be available.
I am feeling better all of a sudden. It really is something to me that you were harassed so much by such a person like I described above. I am going to lay down and rest and smile.
Now, after that slapping that he is too stupid to realize, I send him this a few hours later to get his mouth watering. I really ham it up as you can see!
Subject: great news
I have great news. I went to the post office today and I got a package. The package I sent you was returned! Remember when I sent you $2500 USD in cash? I got my package back!
I also included a Gold Watch in the package with the money. It is a nice watch, 24K Gold with 4 diamonds. I got a great deal on this gold watch, it only cost me $1900 USD. I wanted to give this gift to the Doctor because he is doing such a wonderful job treating Cola.
I wanted the doctor to show this watch to Cola, the gold is nice and shiny, it would have helped cheer him up. There is so much gold on the watch Cola would have been able to see his smile in it. I have gotten back the $2500 USD in Cash and the gold watch that I sent to the doctor! Isn’t that amazing! The Money and the Watch are right here! The package was never opened!
The package is marked “UNKNOWN PERSON”, “LAGOS – NIGERIA”, “RETURN TO SENDER” and two other marks in a strange language. See, the Money and the Gold Watch was in Lagos all this time. Imagine $2500 and a gold
watch just sitting and waiting in Lagos for someone to collect it. I sent this package to Dr. John Johnston at the Lagos Teaching Hospital.
I also got postage insurance...so I got all my postage fee back! So it cost me nothing to send this package! I got $2500, a Gold Watch, and $43 postage back today. I sent my money around the world and it cost me nothing.
So all the cash and the gold watch was sent to Lagos, Nigeria with nobody to claim it. It probably was in the post office in Lagos for many days, just sitting there with all that money and a ticking gold watch in it. Isn’t it good that nobody stole my money! $2500 and a Gold Watch was waiting to be delivered or picked up. I am glad that the $2500 USD and a $1900 Gold Watch was not stolen. I know you are glad that nobody stole my money.
I’m wearing the watch right now! Its so nice and pretty and is made with real Gold with real Diamonds. WOW, what an expensive watch! The Gold is so shiny and the Diamonds are sparkling! Look at those diamonds sparkle! Wow! Those diamonds are dazzling! I’m wearing a $1900 USD Gold Watch. It fits me perfectly, I love this watch! I’m never going to take this watch off! I am so happy! I am feeling much
I am so happy. I don’t know what I am going to do with the $2500 since you said that you didn’t want the $2500 in cash. I think I will spend it before my wife spends it. I think that I am going to buy a new computer and a motorcycle. Yes, I will do that right now before my wife gets home. I am going to get a fast computer and a fast motorcycle.
I’ll let you know what I buy today.
Whoa! Record time I get a Response! Don’t want me spending my money on me do ya Cola!
Subject: congatulation/Great news
i was happy about the mail you sent. i want to use this oppurtunity to tell you that you please don't spend the money becuase cola really need your help. Please send the package back to Cola Ok at this following Address
AJAO SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE 21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
please do that to right now to start cola process please will we be expecting it at this above address ok I am not sure that the Federal goverment will issues another one for A month it can be more than a month Please will really need your help towards cola condition
please used private post to posted it
Yeah, he is panicking that I will spend my money on myself. He wouldn’t want me to do such a selfish thing. Isn’t he nice! I completely ignore him.
Subject: continue of mail
The first address he was not a wrong address he was a mistake by me ok please send the money back to the new address please don't spend the money cola really need your help
I’m sure that he isn’t going to spend this money on wine, women, and song. I’m not giving up here, I want that medical degree, license, and Elvis sign. Do I sound obsessed? After/If I get those documents, I’m going to really play with him with a great plan. My simple plan here….tell him I’m not doing anything until I get those documents and also have the Hijacker get nastier and nastier as time progresses. This should get this idiot moving on those documents then I can put my grand plan into play.
Mubamba writes in Cola’s vernacular, a drunken stupor.
Subject: i no play
To: [email protected]
how muchs mony u get
u tel me how muchs
u giv me mony now
U TEL ME NOW
i wants mony NOW
how muchs u ask for
i nic but not nic long
MUBAMBA - see, that name does look mean
DAY 20 - January 15
No emails from him today…I guess the line at the internet café was too long.
DAY 21 - January 16
Lets get him excited again and frustrated. To him: phone call = money soon
I tried to call you earlier, but the phone would not ring. Are you sure that you gave me the right phone number? I wanted to talk to you on the phone but I did not get through. The first time I called, I got nothing, no ring or anything. The other times I got a recording in a language that I could not understand. Have you gotten any of my phone calls? Have you gotten any phone calls from anyone to make sure your phone is working? I am trying to reach you. I wanted you to know that.
DAY 22 - January 17
Time to Stir Up More Trouble
Subject: your replys
i was happy to read your mail today my cell phone is working i will advise you to try it again 234-8023961808 try it again Please don't forget to return the package back at the above address. cola is the point of death (yeah sure!) please return the package back in order to save cola life please use this address to send it back
AJAO BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE
21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
Elvis make sure you return the package back ok
And another one today…
Subject: continue of mails ok
this is continue of mail that i sent to you please try to return the package back at the bobe address given cola relly need it urgently. please don't wait for my document it can be more than a month before government issues another one please save cola life by returning the package back ok
please try the phone again 234-8023961808
OK, I can’t get these Medical documents out of him….maybe some help from my friend Mubamba will do the trick.
Subject: Re: your replys
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
Hello. I wanted to send money to my friend Cola today, but I got an email from a Mr. Mubamba. I thought the email was from you that is why I read it. He told me that he is a high ranking Nigerian government official and is investigating you. Mubamba told me that you did not complete medical school and you are practicing without a license. He said that I shouldn’t give you any money because you are not a real doctor! Is this true? Is Mubamba right in his charges? Do you have a license and medical degree? Is that why you didn’t send me those documents? If you can’t show you are a doctor, then you can’t help Cola.
I’m not sending any money until you answer these charges against you. Also, if you were robbed and called the police like you said, where is the police report? I’m confused and now Mubambas charges are telling me are not a Doctor at all. I’m sorry, I want to help my friend Cola, but if you cannot show you are a doctor then I cannot send any money to you. So you have to send me your Medical Documents and the police report before I send you money.
You have to remember that I want to help Cola and I want to send money to help my friend, but I want to make sure my money helps him and is not stolen or wasted. Please work with me.
DAY 23 - January 18
A Very Fun Day!
He sends me this and ticks me off. (not really because I get to stomp him more!)
Subject: I was not happy today (that’s good!)
is like you don't want to help cola. I am not happy with you for the mail you sent to me today you promise that you will not read any mail except the one from me or your wife.
Now you betary me you break your promise by read the mail from Mr Mubamba don't you know that he is a scammer and he is lies to you that he is a chief Invesigator from Nigeria please if you know that you really want to help cola please stop read any mail from the public and do the transaction in time. remember i am not the one who need your help is cola if you know that really want to help please make it snappily.
1. why you don't imagine yourself how the Invesigator know me and you
2. I told you that the two document is not with me it can be more than a month before the federal Government issue another one
3. This is surely the work of those guys hijack my mail before
Blaming Scammers Again, what's new? Picking on Elvis? I can’t let that happen! Time to rail him.
Subject: Re: I was not happy today
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
I was very happy today. I was happy today until I heard from you.
How dare you say that I don’t want to help Cola! YOU HAVE A HELL OF A LOT OF NERVE BUSTER! I’m the one who sent $2500 and a gold watch to Nigeria! I’m the one working to make sure that you are the true doctor! I’m the one making phone calls to you! I’m the one who is trying to work with you. I’m the one who proposed our agreement. I’m the one who is going to send money. I’m doing everything here!
OK, lets see, what have you done? Lost your email? Can’t keep track of your password? What is wrong with you? You gave me the wrong address (Lagos Teaching Hospital) otherwise you would have the $2500 and the gold watch! Right? So you don’t even know where you work at? You can’t even tell me where you are! Where is my ‘Elvis’ sign? Another thing you didn’t do. Documents, nope, nada, nothing from you. What is new there! You blame everything on some scammer! How many scammers are there? Huh? Everytime you run into something, your like, it’s a scammer. Ignore this problem or that problem because it is some scammer. Yeah right.
Oh, and your damn phone doesn’t work either! I tried 34 times, nothing. So you are either giving me a wrong number or not paying your phone bill. The way you work, I’m thinking that it is both. Yeah, I know, scammers have taken over you phone right?
READ MY LAST EMAIL. I TOLD YOU I OPENED THE EMAIL FROM MUBAMBA BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS FROM YOU! I told you first thing in my last email that I wanted to send money to my friend Cola. READ IT. Now you are saying that I don’t want to help Cola? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Can’t you read? Can’t you remember one email from another? I was going to send money to Cola, and now you write me this STUPID email of yours? You wrote me the dumbest, stupidest, most insulting thing I have ever seen.
I am working so hard to help Cola and now you say that I don’t want to help him!!!!?!?!?!
I told you to send me a sign with the word “Elvis”. Did you do that? NO! I want some documents from you, your either away at some conference or get robbed. OK
then, send me the police report. Send me something.
You have the frieken nerve to tell me that I betray? NOW YOU REALLY PISSED ME OFF! OK, what have you done as part of your agreement?
Elvis Sign No
Let me tell you one more time, OK, read all of this. I want to help Cola. Yes, I want to send money to my friend Cola. I’ve already sent money to Cola but you don’t even know where you work. I want to send more money but you have to do something. Read over the my emails and you will know what I want. Otherwise I
will find someone else to send money to.
I’m writing Cola an email and tell him how pissed off I am at you.
And an email to Cola telling him how stupid his Doctor is. This if fun!
Subject: I AM PISSED OFF!!!
To: "kola balogun" <[email protected]>
I am frieken pissed off at your Doctor! You better straighten your Doctor out. If he doesn’t get his act together then I can’t help you. Sorry, I have a lot of money that I want to give you, but if all your doctor is going to do is insult me and complain then I can’t help you. I tried to send you $2500, but your stupid doctor says that I don’t want to help you. Your dumb doctor can’t even get his address right otherwise you would have that money. So you get this guy moving on something or else that’s it.
Let me know today what you are going to do.
DAY 24 - January 19
Coming Crawling Back Huh Cola…No Surprise after 24 days into this!
Subject: please forgive me
To: [email protected]
i am so sorry about the email i was get annoyed when you said that you read mail from Mr Invesigator Please elvis forgive me is all my effort. Elvis please forgive me about my worng doing is like i mistake give you the address but he is not wrong address is my fromer place of work please elvis forgive me again you can use cola home address to send any thing you want to send ok
About what you ask
Elvis Sign No
INFORMATION ABOUT COLA
COLA FULL NAME IS AJAO BALOGUN SHERIFFDEN KOLAWOLE ADDRESS IS 21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA AGE IS 20YEARS OLD
INFORMATION ABOUT DOCTOR MY FULL NAME ABDUL MY ADDRESS IS 21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA I LIVE THE SAME PLACE WITH COLA OK
I USE JOHN JOHNSON FOR EMAIL ADDRESS BECAUSE OF SCAMMER
ABOUT MY DOCUMENT I THINK I TOLD YOU ABPUT THAT PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO SCAN THE POLICE REPORT
NOTICE BOARD 1 (Why does he keep saying Notice Board???)
PLEASE ELVIS HAVE YOU SEND ANY MONEY TO COLA NOW SO I WILL TELL HIM TO STAY AT HOME IN ORDER TO CLAIM IT
NOTICE BOARD 2
ELVIS PLEASE FORGIVE ME OF MY ERROR PLEASE SEND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEND AT ONCE
AFTER COLA TREATMENT PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND COLA INVITATION LETTER TO COME TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR THANKS AND GREETINGS
NOTICE BOARD 4
PLEASE FORWARD ANYTHING OR TRANSACTION TO COLA ADDRESS
notice board 5
please send the money little by little in order so save time (no problem, I’ll send $0 and double it each day!)
And some dribble from Cola…
Subject: forgive and forget
i have hard everything please forgive him he has made a mistake of insulting you please elvis forgive him i have tell him to apologize please elvis forgive him is all is effort
he as already told you that you should forward everything to me he is not a fack doctor please forgive him and also me Elvis please forgive and forget please send what you want to send in time
I ignore him to keep him sweating. Mubamba writes him to turn up some pressure.
To: [email protected]
u talk to me today or i tell elvis u scamer
i mak sur u get no monies
u giv me monies now
ur last warning
me not nic later
I send him a phone number from a list of “Strange Phone Numbers”. An internet search will bring up plenty of them.
This phone number says "We're sorry. Due to heavy calling we can not complete your call at this time. Will you please hang up and try your call later. If your call is urgent, please try again now.”
What is good about this is he thinks he’s not getting charged everytime he calls, but once he connects and the message starts, I think he does pay.
Subject: Call me!
Call me and we will discuss. The country code is US.
DAY 25 - January 20
Cola Needs Money for his Internet Connection
Subject: i was happy
To: [email protected]
I got your mail today i thank you for forgive me May God be with you (Amen) Elvis i will call you but try and return the package to the above address please i will try to call ok
please you can send what you want to send at once in order to avoid much postage you can use the method that you use in the first time to send it
Elvis (he signed my name again!)
Forgive what? I didn’t forgive anything. Cola’s turn at the same computer…
i was happy yo mail you today my doctor said you have give him your number please elvis make very thing possible even this week by return the package at the above address i really need it urgently ok THIS IS THE INFORMATION AJAO BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE 21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
PLEASE SEND THIS WEEK I REALLY NEED IT URGENTLY TIME IS GOING PLEASE ELVIS SEND THIS WEEK IF MY DOCTOR CALL OR NOT PLEASE SEND BUT I SURE THAT HE WILL CALL YOU.PLEASE ABOUT THE DOCUMENT I WANT YOU TO FORGET AS AT NOW BECUASE THE
DOCTOR HAS A PROBLEM WITH POLICE REPORT THE POLICE FAIL TO GIVE HIM A REPORT
No police report, what a lazy ass Mugu! Can’t make up a simple report? I’m so disappointed.
2 hours 7 minutes later (hopefully much of it on the telephone calling me)…I then get this email. This Bastard is plotting and scheming here like a 4 year old wanting a cookie. This is so easy to see through.
Subject: SORRY I WILL BE DISCONNECTED
To: [email protected]
1. immedaitly i mail you i try to call your phone number with my mobile phone (poor you with a cell phone!) but he could able to reach you I qiuckly walk down to telephone boot i call your Number again he aslo fail to connected I don't know may be it is a Nigeria network problem. I don't know what to do again.
2. I want to use this oppurtunity to inform you that i will be cut off from INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER (ISP) because i fail to paid my Internet bill. and I will be no longer have aceess to Internet again. I will be disconnected. I don't have money to paid the bill Now so it will take me more that a month to have access again.
I can only use commercial cafe to contact you. (so what is new?) But the commercial cafe is too far from my house is all about 2 km walk. (2KM? That’s less than a mile!) I only have today and tommorrow which is friday to disconnected from (ISP) I will still be on till Friday so after friday I can no longer have access untill I paid and again it will diffcult for me to go to commercial cafe becuase is too far way.
Send what you want to send to cola i have give you the information about cola once again this is INFORMATION
AJAO BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE
21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
I advise you to package everything at once and send it in order to reduce cost use the first method that you use before to send it or you can send it little by little. (MAY GOD BLEES YOU) I wll be no longer have access after friday again so Bye till next time I can only received your mail on friday so after friday no more again
thanks for saying with me and cola GOD BLESS
COLA WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR PACKAGE AT HIS ABOVE ADDRESS
Poor Kola has to walk 2 kilometers, less than a mile to contact me. Of course he doesn’t have a computer or ISP or all that, he has been walking to the internet café everyday of his correspondence. I think he is telling me this to pressure me to send money otherwise I will never hear from him again. How sad. Maybe Mubamba is scaring him, who knows! I ignore all this and go out to the local pub. After a few, its easy to play stupid and I’m going to waste his ‘last day’…
I do not understand how far you have to walk. What is km. I have been waiting for your phone call! I do not understand the trouble you are having! I have gotten a phone call from my brother overseas today and he had no problem. He told me you should keep trying to call if you can’t get through. He told me that he had a problem before, something about heavy calling and then you call again right away. He did that a few times and it went right through.
I want to talk to you in person. I do not understand why you don’t call me. I was waiting by the phone, but it doesn’t ring from you! Are you trying?
DAY 26 - January 21
Plenty of Time Today to Torment
He finally writes to Mubamba!
Subject: WHAT DO YOU WANT
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME IS MONEY OR WHAT ANYTHING I WILL DO IT
I think he is getting to the point of having enough.
Subject: Re: WHAT DO YOU WANT
To: "ajao sheriffdeen" <[email protected]>
ur guy sending mony soon
u give us mony an we make sur notin happen to u
we go to western union with u
u answer security question
u give us 80%
u no give 80% u have acident on way home
that would be bad u never getin home
we watch u
we not nic no more
u had chanse - u no mail us
Respond most urgent
Understand kolawole of balogun street?
Subject: I will phone
To: [email protected]
i will try to phone you today please stay around and i think you understand the mail i give you yestarday
Lets shake him up some more.
Subject: Re: I will phone
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
I do not understand why you can not call me. I got many nasty calls from Barrister Mabumba today! How did he get my phone number? I did not give him my phone number! Did you give him my number? I did not talk to him on the phone, but he left very nasty messages on the phone! Did you give him my phone number? How did he get my phone number? I got his call after you got my phone number! God help me I am scared! This is very strange! I wanted to talk to you on the phone! I called you and called! Oh God! Now Mubumba is calling me saying he is going to kill you. He said that if I do not send him $1200 USD you are going to die! He said he knows who you are! He knows your name and your address! On the voice mail he said your name and address. He said that you are going to die. He knows where you live! He said this on my voice mail. I did not talk to him. Oh, I am so scared for you! People in the background were saying you were going to die soon! Many people were saying ‘Die Kolawole, Die Kolawole’! All of these people were scary. Do you know this man? He is scary! Oh God I am scared by him! All I wanted to do is help my friend Cola! I want to send money to my friend Cola! Now strange people are calling! Help me! I called you, but your phone still does not ring! Help me! This is a very scary man! I am frightened by him. I think he is coming after you! Tell me what to do!
Got this 3 times…
Subject: don't be afraid/I HAVE TIED
To: [email protected]
i have been trying your number but he was not througth i have tied of trying it i have try it about 24time today (Hopefully 24 1st Minute Charges!) but he was not througth i don't know may be it is a network problem Elvis like i told you as from today i will be no long have access again please don't mail this box again be mailing cola. cola will be asnswer your mail in his box please you also do any transaction in time
ABOUT THE MAIL YOU SEE FROM MR BARISTER TODAY PLEASE DON'T MIND HIM HE WANT TO AFRAIND YOU HE CAN DO NOTING YOU ALSO RETURN THE PACKAGE IN TIME IF YOU DO SO IN TIME THERE WILL BE NO PROBLEM BUT IF YOU CONTINUE MAILING THERE IS PROBLEM I DON'T KnOW HOW THEY GET YOUR NUMBER I DON'T GIVE THEM YOUR NUMEBR
PLEASE ELVIS I WANT YOU TO RUTURN THE PACKAGE AT LEAST BY MONDAY OK DON'T WAIT FOR MY CALL OR DOCUMENT AGAIN.
PLEASE DO THAT IN TIME COLA REALLY NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE ANY TIME THIS PEOPLE CALL YOU DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE THEY ARE SCAMMER THEY CAN'NT DO NOTHING TO COLA AND I THANKS
COLA WILL BE EXPECTING THE PACKAGE ON MONDAY PLEASE DO THAT RIGHT NOW TO SAVE FROM SCAMMER ANYTIME YOU WANT TO SEND DON'T TELL THE SCAMMER OK SO THEY WILL NOT KNOW AMOUNT YOU SEND TO COLA
Got this 2 times…
Subject: HOW THEY GET YOUR PHONE NUMEBR
To: [email protected]
I TOLD YOU THOSE PEOPLE ARE VERY SMART AND GOOD THEY GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER THROUGH YOUR BOX THEY HAVE ENTER YOUR BOX AND SEE ALL INFORMATION IN YOUR BOX THAT HOW THEY GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER don't worried nothing is going to help you just return the package on monday at the above address.
I completely ignore his stupid, poorly contrived no-more internet lie. I send him a different number to try. This is intended for a party (shared) telephone line.
503-620-0042 - "You have called a party on your own line. Please hang up, give the called party time to answer and then pick up your receiver." That should confuse him! (it doesn’t take much)
Subject: Re: HOW THEY GET YOUR PHONE NUMEBR
To: "ajao sheriff" <[email protected]>
Please try my other phone line. I will be around to answer the phone. If you get a women, just ask for me and I will answer right away.
Also, keep trying the first number.
He now has two numbers to rake up his phone bill. OK, he is getting a little rundown, lets show him some cookies to perk him up.
I want to talk to you on the phone first before I send any money out. Also, I really do like that watch that I sent you and I plan to keep it. (my wife likes the watch to.) But since there isn’t much time for me to buy another watch for you, I would like to include $1900 more so you can get a watch there. Is that OK? So I will send $2500 + $1900 USD. So that’s $4400 total. This way you will have the $2500 and be able to buy a nice watch.
Please call me and talk to me because I would like to hear your voice before I send out such a large amount of money. I was thinking if your phone isn’t working right in calling me, maybe you can use Cola’s phone and see if that works. Is there another phone number I can reach you at? I have not been able to get through to your phone.
Look forward to talking to you,
$4400 did it! He’s back in the game.
Subject: I WILL CALL YOU ON SATURDAY AGAIN
To: [email protected]
I WILL ALSO TRY THE NUMBER YOU GIVE ME JUST NOW MAKE SURE YOU AROUND AT ANY TIME (yeah, ok) I WILL GIVE YOU A CALL PLEASE AM GOING TO CALL YOU AT 12PM ON SATURDAY TOMMRROW (what time zone dummy?)
AS FROM TODAY I WILL BE CUT OFF FROM INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER BECUASE I FAIL TO PAID MY BAIL (Bail or Bill?) SO ANY MAIL YOU WANT TO SEND SEND IT TO COLA BOX
THE INFORMATION IS THE SAME
AJAO BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE
21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
Cola writes some more blah …
Subject: THANKS FOR EVERYTHING
DOCTOR WILL TRY TO CALL YOU AT ANYTIME OK IS GOING TO USE MY PHONE PLEASE BE AROUNDAND IS GOING TO KEEP ON TRYING THE FIRST NUMBERDOCTOR SHOW ME THE MESSAGE YOU SENT TODAY THANKS
He’s going to keep on trying to steal money no matter what it takes….I’m so touched.
DAY 27 - January 22
My Big Plan Goes into Effect
Subject: It me cola from doctor
DOCTOR DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO INTERNET AGAIN SINCE YESTARDAY BECUASE HE FAIL TO PAID THE INTERNET BILL PLEASE BE MAILING ME I WILL BE ANSWER YOUR MAIL PLEASE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD DELETE ALL INFORMATION IN YOUR BOX BECUASE OF THIS SCAMMER AND YOU SHOULD PLEASE DO THE TRANSACTION BY MONDAY THAT IF THE CALL THROUGHT OR NOT AND IF ANYBODY ASK YOU TO CHANGE THE ADDRESS APART FROM THE ONE GAVE YOU BEFORE PLEASE DON'T MIND HIM HE WILL BE FROM THE SCAMMER THE ADDRESS STILL REMAIN THE SAME DOCTOR SAID HE STILL TRYING YOUR NUMBER BUT HE BELIEVE HE WILL THROUGHT BUT HE TOLD ME THAT IF THE CALL THROUGHT OT NOT THAT YOU SHOULD PLEASE SEND THE PACKAGE THROUGHT FAST BOX SO I WLLL CASH THE PACKAGE AT LEAST BY TUESDAY DOCTOR SAID YOU ALSO TRY COLA BROTHER NUMBER 234-8023961808 AGAIN MAY BE HE WILL ENTER DOCTOR ALSO TRY YOUR TWO NUMBER THE INFROMATION STILL REMAIN THE SAME
BALOGUN AJAO SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE
21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA
Subject: TIME IS GOING
Doctor phone me that he has been trying your number up to 30times (that’s great!) today and yestarday that he was not throught that you should please and send the package to avoid time going will be expecting the package on monday or tuesday
Now lets really have fun with him! This is my big plan to drive him crazy. $4400 is ready to be sent. Since he suspects Mubamba can read my email, I am going to use this and pretend that my email has been ‘hijacked’. I’m going to send him emails from many different accounts claiming to be me. I plan to go around in circles with him till he finally just gives up. I’m tired of him anyway.
Without further ado, bring out the Elvis Impersonators!
Original Elvis – [email protected]
Elvis #1 - Realdoctorelvisking
Elvis #2 - Doctorelvis_king
Elvis #3 - realelvisking
Elvis #4 – therealdoctorelvis
I use ePrompter to check all these emails at the same time.
The Original Elvis writes:
Did you call me again? The phone rang and when I picked it up, it was ringing like it was calling you but nobody answered.
Elvis #1 writes:
My email was stolen from me! Someone stole my account. It is me, Elvis. Write to this account only. I don’t know what to do! I think someone took my email account. Let me know what is happening!
Elvis #2 writes:
What happened? My account is no longer working. Did you get all my mails to you? Ignore the first email address and write here only.
Elvis #3 writes:
Do not listen to the emails from my first account. It was taken from me. I think it is that scammer. I set up this account. Only email me here.
Elvis #4 writes:
My email was taken from me. Why is this happening? Is this the Hijacker doing this? Elvis
The Hijacker writes him:
Subject: ha ha
i mak sur u no gets mony
u no nic to me
i no nic to u
Now he has 5 Elvis emailing him, the Hijacker and Mubamba taunting him, and two phone numbers that will never work. Lets see how he handles this.
Subject: what is happen
is like if i have about 4 elvis talking to me please what is happen
Elvis #1 writes:
I do not understand why you are not writing me. What happened? Elvis
Elvis #4 writes:
Someone stole my email address! They have all my information! Do you know who did it? Elvis
Mubamba writes to him.
Subject: u lose
u no can hide frum me
i take over
i gona get dat package
u stay home
The Hijacker writes:
Subject: The Doctor has Spoken
You cant hide from us. Don't bother anymore. We are taking over. We are getting that package. You lose.
Doctor John Johnson
To Elvis #2:
From: [email protected]
is like i don't know what is going on
Exactly what I want!
To Elvis #3:
From: [email protected]
is that the real elvis i don't know what is happen please expalin what is going on
Original Elvis writes:
It is me elvis. Only talk to me. All others are fake
Elvis #1 Sends this 3 times
Why haven't you written me? Its Elvis. My account has been stolen from me! I am only using this account. Do not listen to the other account!
Elvis #2 Sends him this twice
Cola! This is terrible. Get the doctor. Someone has stolen my email account. Do not listen to anyone. I made this account so I can talk to you. Only write me here OK! Elvis
Elvis #3 writes:
I told you someone took over my account. Do not read what they say to you. Where is the doctor? It is me, Elvis. I cannot get my old account back. Only write to me here now.
Elvis #4 writes:
Cola! My account is not working! I tried it and the password is different. Do not write to that account. It is Elvis! OK. I'm right here! Elvis
Mubamba writes to all Cola’s accounts. This should tick him off!
Subject: i have it all
i have all ur email and elvis email
$2500 an watch is to much fur u
dat watch gonna lok good on me
i get watch and tel u what time it is
thank u for all dat mony
i gona trick elvis to send pakage to me
Elvis #1 writes:
Is your email still working? I am confused here! My account was taken by a hijacker. Elvis
Hours later Elvis #3 writes this twice:
Why have you not written to me? My account has been taken from me. This is terrible! Tell the doctor right away! Elvis
DAY 28 - January 23
Increasing the Confusion
To Elvis #1, #2, and the Hijacker
Subj: IT ME COLA AGAIN
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 09:36:36 -0800 (PST)
is like you have something from me i know you have spoil evrything But remmember If God say yes nobody can say no IF GOd say that elvis will help I know he will help Us like you think i am scammer but i am not i think you see the picture I do this inorder to help cola abroad for treatment I sent this to lot of people some ansewr but they call me scammer only elvis answer well but since you refuse that you will block the donation for the boy in order to ill
I Know God will surely do something to you also may be if not you he may be next generation please continue with your work I pray to you that want help to cola will return to you or your next gerenation (AMEN)
Want of you collected this money today and some days later you dies I don't know want you account for you GOd
I know you create this email in order to decive me and elvis thanks
To Elvis #2, #3, #4
Subj: why this happen
From: [email protected]
is like i have tied i don't know what to do again is like i have about 4 elvis talking to me [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]
[email protected] I am now confesed i don'r what to do please if you know that you really
want to help please send the package to my home address and include your phone number and new email address becuase the scammer has been used your box to send to me and also they are using my own box to do so
please my contact still ramain the same BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE AJAO
21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA 234-8023961808
He doesn’t like Elvis #1 and Elvis #2 and thinks Elvis #3 and #4 maybe real. Why he is so selective I don’t know. Well I email several different things to get his confusion way up.
This is where my plan is intended to go: Have all the Elvis Impersonator take on scenarios of their own and really drive him crazy. This sums up what I am going to email him:
Original Elvis: Just taunts him.
Elvis #1: Not going to send the package and tells him to go away
Elvis #2: He thinks Cola is behind all of this and is causing the confusion.
Elvis #3: Talked to Cola on the phone and sending package to a different address
Elvis #4: The package is going to be sent to him right away
Why don’t you call me. Oh please call me. I want to hear from you.
Elvis #1 writes:
I am very confused by all that is happening. I have decided not to send you anything at all. It has been nice knowing you. I think you should go away.
Elvis #2 writes:
I think that you may be behind all of this scammer nonsense. Are you the real scammer? Are you doing this to trick me into sending you money? I do not think your first account was stolen from you at all. You faked it so I would feel bad for you. Now you take my account so I will send money to you! Is this right? How could you do such a thing?
Elvis #3 writes:
It was so nice to finally be able to talk to you on the phone today! You sound so nice. I am glad that I got to talk to Dr. Johnson. I am very sorry that you had a fight with your brother and had to move. Of course I will send my package to where you are staying now, at your uncles house. I will not send it to the first address because I do not want your brother to have that money after what he did to you! I am sorry that your brother beat you. Are you able to walk today? Your brother really hurt you. I think living with your uncle will be better for you. You sounded very happy when I talked to you on the phone. I will send my package out to your uncle tomorrow. I hope you are feeling better. Tell your uncle that it is a brown package. It should arrive to you very soon.
Elvis #4 writes:
I have gotten your message. I will mail you your package tomorrow. You should get it soon. Please wait to get it. I do not know how long it will take to get to your address. So please check everyday. I am happy that you are going to get this package. Email me when you get my package. Say Hi to the Doctor.
I plan to just overwhelm him with confusion.
DAY 29 - January 24
To the original Elvis, Elvis #1 and Elvis #2
Subj: NEVER MIND AGAIN
PLEASE I YOU ASK ME TO CALL I AM NOT CALLING AGAIN I HAVE BEEN TRYING
YOUR NUMBER MORE THAN 40TIMES I DON'T GET IT. I DON'T KNOW MAY BE THE SCAMMER HAS ENTER YOUR BOX OR MY BOX AND CHANGE THE PHONE NUMBER BECUASE THEY ARE GOOD AND SMART EVEN I DON'T KNOW MAY BE YOU ARE THE REAL ELVIS OR FAKE BECUASE I HAVE ABOUT FOUR ELVIS TALKING TO ME I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT MAILING
APART FROM LAST ONE I MAIL ABOUT THE DOCTOR SAID I SHOULD GIVE THIS AS LAST
MESSAGE THAT IF YOU ARE THE THROUGHT ELVIS AND YOU WANT TO HELP YOU SHOULD SEND YOUR PACKAGES AND INCLUDE YOUR NEW MAILING ADDRESS SO WILL CAN CONTINUE OUR FRIENSHIP BUT IF YOU ARE NOT THE REAL ELVIS IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO SEND THE PACKAGES SO IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO HELP PLEASE SEND THIS PACKAGE SO WILL CAN BELIEVE YOU.DON'T WAIT FOR CALL I WILL NOT CALL AGAIN INCLUDE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER IN YOUR PACKAGES
ONE OF THE ELVIS SAID THAT HE AS POST THE PACKAGES THE ONTHER ONE SAID THAT I STOLE HIS ACCOUNT THE ONTHER ONE SAID THAT COLA BROTHER BEAT COLA I DON'T KNOW HOW IS GET IT PLEASE DO RIGHT THING AT THE RIGTH TIME BYE NOTICE BOARD 2
PLEASE ELVIS DELETE ALL MY INFORMATION IN YOUR BOX EVEN EMPTY THE TRASH
ALTHOUGHT THE SCAMMER HAS ALREADY KNOW THIS BEFORE BUT I WANT YOU TO DO
SO AGAIN THIS IS INFORMATION I GIVE YOU FOR THE PACKAGES BALOGUN SHERIFFDEEN KOLAWOLE AJAO 21, BALOGUN STREET IWAYA YABA LAGOS NIGERIA IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE REAL ELVIS PLEASE GET PEN AND WRITE THIS
Nothing to Elvis #3 or Elvis #4!?! Now he likes the first few Elvis and not the other ones? Who knows where this guy thinking is at, especially after all the mental torture, I mean this psychological episode. I’m disappointed that he didn’t send each Elvis a custom email. I suppose that would take too much brain power and café minutes.
I am disappointed that he is just sending whatever to all the Elvis accounts. Not what I wanted.
OK, he is getting ready to close this out, cut his loses and bail on me.
A few options:
1. Do the HaHa You’re a Stupid Mugu Finish
2. Give him another Test Phone Number (waste a day to two more)
3. Introduce Him to My Fictional Brother in Law, Joe Czarfunee (“Jokes are Funny”)
Lets keep him on board the 419 Boat and keep him from scamming nice old ladies. I plan to give him a new round of hope. This should renew things for him.
Cola is to stupid to have a dialogue with a few Elvis. I should have know that. I send him this email to get his hopes up and set a good hook into him for Round 2. The phone number is another off the phone number list, it answers then plays a ringer.
We are having many problems here. I thank you so much for being with me through all these problems we have had. Phone problems, Email Problems, and Scammer Problems. This scammer is in my email box and is causing all kinds of problems for both of us!
Cola, I feel so bad for you! I want to help you so much! That is why I stayed with you and the doctor through all these problems. I hope that you know that I really do want to help you and want the doctor to help you.
I have too many phone calls and emails from scammers, thiefs, and swindlers to know what is going on! I am sorry, but I get about 50 emails and 70 phone calls from people calling themselves Cola, Kola, Kola Balogun, Dr. Johnson, and John Johnson everyday! I have about 18 addresses on Balogun Street. I can’t take it anymore!!! More people call me everyday!
I want to help you. Please no matter what happens, always remember that! OK, promise me that you will never forget that I want to help you. I have been overwhelmed by scammers and lost men looking to steal my money.
I can not do this anymore Cola. I will not let you down though my friend! You are indeed my friend. I think of you in my prayers every day. I will make sure that you get healed and you, your family and Dr. Johnson get out of that country.
I am sending you this email and deleting it right away. I am emptying my trash. I am deleting my account because there are terrible people writing me. My accounts will no longer exist. These people can read my email. I will delete this account after I send you this email. Only you will get this email. I will no longer use this account. I am doing this to protect you and to help you!
I want you to write to my Brother-in-Law. My brother laws name is Father Joseph Czarfunee. You can just call him Father Joe. He is a GREAT MAN. He is a good Christian man and helps many people. He has his own Church. You should ask him about joining his Church!
I will give you his phone number. I have to tell you that it is hard to reach him. He doesn’t not believe in answering machines. So you have to let the phone ring. When I call Father Joe on the phone, I let the phone ring about 10 times then try again later. His hearing is not good and he does not have an answering machine. Since he does not answer, there is no phone charge so I do not mind.
I have talked to Father Joe about you and Doctor Johnson. He wants to help you very much. I told him that I thought of you as my brother. Since you are my Brother, you are his brother to. We are all brothers. He is a kind and gentle man. I married his sister, he is my brother in law, but we think of ourselves as true brothers.
Here is his phone number: 914-735-9904 (He does not answer quickly or often! It sometimes takes many days to reach him and sometimes the phone just rings and rings. Just to let you know so you do not give up hope!)
Father Joe’s email: [email protected]
I think that you should email him a few times and introduce yourself before you call. That way he will know you when you call.
PLEASE, you may give this information to Doctor Johnson, but please make sure that you do not give this to any scammers. I do not wish the kind Father Joe be bothered with such people.
So please contact my brother in law, Father Joe. He can help you and the scammers will not know about him. This is going to work Cola. Please stay with me! He can help you in many many ways. More than I can. Ask him and you will be amazed.
Cola, I am leaving you to keep these scammers away from you. I am deleting my email accounts. I am going to help you by keeping these scammers from you. I hope that you understand this. I am not deserting you. I am helping you. I am giving you something Great and getting you away from these scammers. The only reason I do this is that I want to truly help you. I am sorry I must say my Goodbye to you in this way, but as your friend, I give you a great hope! Contact Father Joe and he can do amazing things. Work with Father Joe and we will meet again.
Always Your Friend,
Almost Brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it! It might if we weren’t dealing with someone that would gladly steal your grandmas last dime.
DAY 30 - January 25
From: [email protected]
I WILL LIKE YOU TO STOP MAILING ME BECUASE OF THIS SCAMMER OK PLEASE IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME OUT PLEASE MY DATA IS WILL YOU I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE PACKAGES VERY SOON. AND INCLUDE YOUR NEW EMAIL ADDRESS SO WILL CAN START FREASH PLEASE I WILL ,BE WAITING FOR THE PACKAGES THANKS THE SCAMMER ARE USING YOUR BOX TO SEND TO ME AND ALSO THER ARE USING MY
BOX TO SEND TO YOU BYE LIKE I SAID I HAVE ABOUT FOUR ELVIS TALKING TO ME BEFORE I CAN KNOW THE RIGHT ELVIS IS THE THROUGHT THE PACKAGES
Then he cc his scammer email a few time to Elvis #1
To Elvis #2 that wrote him about contacting my fake brother in law:
HELLO FAKE ELVIS
I KNOW THAT YOU ARE PRETENDING
YOU ARE NOT A ELVIS
YOU ARE PRETENDING
OK STOP PRETENDING
After all that I get this trash! No response to my sympathy email to him! I am so disappointed in this guy. This scammer has really pissed me off because Father Joe (Me) would have spent another month tormenting him.
He just wants his package. I think that I have burned him out. I don't think that I can get any more out of him. Even going on with him further I don't think I can get any trophies out of him.
DAY 31 - January 26
Nothing from Ajao Sheriffdeen Kolawole, the 419 Scammer Today.
TIME TO BASH HIM
OK, its been 31 days. Its time to end this and look for him later on the 419 Playground. I am tired of this clown anyway because he is not fun anymore, he is just way too stupid to be challenging, and I don't think I can get any trophies out of him.
I’ve been debating whether to do a HaHa Stupid Mugu finish or give him a hard kick in the nuts. I decide to combine the two. Lets drop the bomb…
Subject: YOUR PACKAGE INFORMATION
How are you doing? You don’t have to answer, I know how you are going to be in a few moments! You see, my name is not really Elvis, there is no such person as Doctor Elvis King. I made up that name and my goal was to torment you. I’m also Barrister Mubamba, another fake name. I am the one who hijacked your email account. I am the hijacker you talk and worry about so much. I am Elvis, Mubamba, the Hijacker, and all the Scammers! You have been talking only to me all this time! The only reason I didn’t steal this account of yours is because I want you to read this email.
You see, I am in Lagos! Yes I am and I know who you are. Who knows, you may even recognize me. I am originally from South Africa, and have been educated in England and Holland. I am in Lagos for my own purposes, but I don’t call this pigsty Lagos home like you do!
You see, when you use the computer at any cafe, I know every single key that you push! I monitor what you do with a key logger. Do you know what a key logger is? Of course you don’t! I have a record of everything that you type, every key that you press, every email and password you type is sent directly to me.
I asked for your picture because I told my brother in South Africa about you and he wanted to see a picture of such of fool as you. I have to admit that my wife was curious about you when I told her what I was doing to you. My wife told me that you look nasty! I told her that you smell nasty too! She laughed! That fake passport was funny too! It was so obvious that it was a fake. Did you really pay someone to make that awful forgery?
Speaking of laughing...Yes, we have been laughing at you! There is no package to send to you! Do you really think I would send money and a gold watch to a 419 Scammer like you? Did you think you could fool me pretending to be a Doctor?
I stole your email and made you waste so much time over nothing! I am going to post all your emails and my comments on the internet! You should go to http://www.419eater.com I am going to donate all your emails there as well as my comments. Thousands of people are going to be laughing at you and see how stupid you are. Be sure to check the Letters Archive for your name.
I have to admit that I was very disappointed that you didn’t draw up some fake medical documents on the computer. I was sitting and watching, waiting for you to do that and see how bad they were! I really wanted to watch you sit at the computer and draw like an idiot. But that’s OK, you are funny enough in the way you write and type and I wasted a full 31 days of your time. I have had fun over those 31 days making your life miserable. That story of you getting robbed was so lame and stupid. You could have at least sent me a fake police report! How hard could it have been to send me a fake police report?
Those phone numbers I gave you are test phone numbers for an American telephone company. These numbers only play a message when you connect. Does this sound familiar? "We're sorry. Due to heavy calling we can not complete your call at this time. Will you please hang up and try your call later. If your call is urgent, please try again now.” Remember this one? "You have called a party on your own line. Please hang up, give the called party time to answer and then pick up your receiver." You are going to get charged for all those calls. It was funny that you called those numbers over 40 times. You are going to get charged for over 40 calls to America.
Do you feel hurt and humiliated? You should. See, this is what you do to the people that you steal from. I took from you...I used you and kept using you! I used and played you like a dirty whore. A very cheap and filthy whore. I took what little you have...your time, your computer fees, everything I could. I stole your email accounts from you and I gave you back nothing but problems. You don’t have much, so what little I took does hurt you and I used it all against you. I used you and I abused you because that is what you do to others.
I have to say that I am going to be watching you more, both in person and on the computer. The next person you try to scam it will probably be me. I’ll have a different name, different story, but the end result will be the same. I’m going to make you look like a fool.
Don’t bother to write me back. There isn’t much for my dirty whore to say to me, I am done using you. My whore gave me satisfaction and I toss you back onto the street where you belong. My filthy whore can’t scare me or impress me, you don’t interest me, so what is the point of you saying anything? I’ll recognize you next time of course as being a whore begging for money.
Why are you still here in the internet cafe? Why don’t you go back to that shithole you call home!
Next time I’m done with you, either I’ll email you the magical word “Elvis” or I’ll just whisper it in your ear. You never know...
DAY 32 - January 27
Too Busy Today To Check Email
DAY 33 - January 28
Wow...got a response! I throw in my two cents...
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 23:16:52 +0800
From: [email protected]
It look that I am scammer but let me tell you that I am not I understand your mail but it is not Amazing me whatever your name is please don’t post or paste my letter on that site
This is a true-life story of cola and I am the cola ok
You may be laughing at me you and your wife but
I am less concern about that I use this in order to seek for help. Because I face many difficulties in my country that is why I used this ideal this happen to me. (You are poor so its OK to use the internet to steal?) If you really want to believe me I can come Through web camera
Again if you Elvis or whatever your name is that you are not a scammer why did you hijack many box is that your work. So you are the really scammer (more a Scammer's Scammer) Again I don’t understand what you mean you said you are from Lagos and again you are from south-Africa how do want me to believe you
You said you waste my time for over a month but let me tell you that you are a fool is all about life (Such is life and life goes on life is all about game you can win or loose (been to Vegas Cola?). And if you insist on pasting me letter on the site remember that you also have a data with me. And again I can forge a letter and said it comes from you. And I will paste on that site so be careful. (I’m shaking in my boots!) You can go and head-on you choice I don’t care about that But my ideal for you is to stop pasting my letter on that site I am begging you now so be a nice man and corporate (glad you didn't type Copulate!) with me
Again please delete all my information in your box I am begging you by the name of Almighty God
But if you refuse it means that you are a fool and basted (like a turkey?) that you don’t respect God.
I send him this to see if I can pump information out of this dope.
So why did you lie to me all the time? Why did you say you were a Doctor? What about all those Medical Conference lies? Remember that robber?
Why are you doing what you did?
You face difficulties so its OK to lie? What if everybody did that?
What would you say to that website?
What would you say about me?
What do you think of me?
This is what I will do, you answer ALL my questions and I will delete all my emails and leave you alone. So how about it? Answer these questions and I will just go away and not bother you. OK?
DAY 34 - January 29
Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2005 23:27:22 +0800
Subject: Your reply
see all you say i don't have time to answer any one of this ok
All i know that if you can not help me you should stop black mail me
although you see the nature of the disease can't you brain know that this is thrute
And I even tell you that i should come through cam if you don't belive me
I will also lies again you if you don't be careful
So stop mailing if you can not render assistance and you want to black mail me
Remember if you (Fudge) me up I will do mine back
I don't have chance for stupid question again
Black Mail? How Stupid and Hilarious! That sums up this dope. Hopefully Kolawole will write 419eater.com and bash Elvis. That should be entertaining!
DAY 35 - January 30
hello barister M
ok will you be my friend if you like you can be and if you don\t like
you can go away
Anybody want a 419 Scammer as a friend?
Well Kolawole, it has been fun tormenting you and the only thing you are sorry about is that you ran into me. I wish you had more intelligence so I could really torment you. Oh well, till the next scam…
Questions and comments are always welcome.
Please drop me an email: [email protected]
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