May the Police Force Grant Me Pardon

 

 Cast

 Played by the Mugu

 

(Real Name:  OBINNA EMEONYE)

 

Barrister Marc Hycinth

Inspector Mandela:   Agent 002, Fake Inspector of the Nigerian Police Force

        (This guy definitely studied under The Pink Panther's Inspector Clouseau!)

 

Played by Me

Joe Czarfunee  (Pronounced “Jokes are Funny”)

Barrister Mubamba

Toby Williams

 

My plan is very simple: 

Give him nothing to work with (No fake phone number, No fake address, Nothing!)

Make him work hard

Do not cooperate

Frustrate, Torment, and Annoy him!

 

You will see I start out as a complete Moron, but amazingly I get smarter as this progresses!  The title of this is strange, but makes sense later!

 

May 30th, 2005 to July 20th, 2005 

 

*  Prepare to be overwhelmed with "Whom"!  *

 

Usual type of letter arrives....100 Million Bucks for me Risk Free...

 

ATTN:  MR. JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 30TH OF MAY, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

NEXT OF KIN/SOLE BENEFICIARY TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL RESPONSE TO MY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS ASSISTANCE, I MUST COMMEND ON YOUR INTEREST IN REGARDS TO ASSISTING ME RECEIVE MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. ACTUALLY, I AM VERY GLAD TO FIND A PERSON LIKE YOU WHOM IS WILLING TO ASSIST ME SINCERELY BECAUSE THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY WHICH I EXPECT FROM YOU "SINCERITY AND HONESTY".

 

FIRSTLY, I WILL LIKE TO INFORM AND ASSURE YOU THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE AND ALSO 100% RISK FREE.

THUS, I WILL LIKE TO SEIZE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO ENLIGHTEN YOU THAT I AM A "SENIOR ADVOCATE" HERE IN THIS COUNTRY (S.A.N). SO LONG AS THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS CONCERNED, I WILL BE THE LEGAL ATTORNEY WHOM WILL BE HANDLING ALL LEGAL ASPECT OF THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION. ALSO, I WILL USE MY PROFESSIONAL INFLUENCE IN SECURING ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL AUTHENTICATE YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) AS THE NEXT OF KIN/SOLE BENEFICIARY TO MY LATE CLIENT.MY LATE CLIENT LEFT THE SUM OF US$100,000,000 (Hundred Million United States Dollars only) IN A SECRET FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT IN ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC, WHICH IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST AND WELL ESTABLISHED BANKS HERE IN AFRICA.

 

AFTER THE DEATH OF MY LATE CLIENT, NO ONE CAME TO CLAIM HIS FUNDS FROM THE HOLDING BANK (ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC) AND SO THE HOLDING BANK GAVE ME AN AUTOMATUM TO PRESENT TO THEM THE NEXT OF KIN/SOLE BENEFICIARY TO THE FUNDS WHICH WAS LEFT BY MY LATE CLIENT. THE HOLDING BANK GAVE ME AN AUTOMATUM OF 3MONTHS TO PRESENT TO THEM THE NEXT OF KIN/SOLE BENEFICIARY TO MY LATE CLIENT OR ELSE THAT THEY WILL CONFISTICATE THE FUNDS AND USE IT FOR ACQUIRING AMUNITIONS FOR THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, SO IT WAS ON THIS ADVANCEMENT THAT I FOUND YOUR PROMPT ASSISTANCE TO ACT AS THE NEXT OF KIN/SOLE BENEFICIARY.

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL RESPONSE TO ME, I HAVE INFORMED THE HOLDING BANK (ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC) THAT YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) IS THE RIGHTFUL BENEFICIARY TO MY LATE CLIENT, AND THEY HAVE NOTED THIS WITH THE PROMISE OF CONTACTING YOU IMMEDIATELY THEY RECEIVE ALL VITALLY REQUIRED DOCUMENTS FROM ME.

 

AT THIS POINT, I WILL LIKE YOU TO ASSURE ME THAT YOU WILL NOT BETRAY ME BY RUNNING AWAY WITH THIS FUNDS AS SOON AS IT IS SUCCESSFULLY TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

KINDLY CONTACT ME THROUGH THIS PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS FOR SECURITY REASONS. (marcandassociates101@yahoo.co.in)

 

KINDLY FURNISH ME WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS:

 

1. YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS AND COUNTRY.

 

2.MOBILE PHONE NUMBER(for regular communication.)

 

NOTE: DUE TO THE HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVOLVED YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

FOR FURTHER DISCUSSIONS CALL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER.... (01-1)234-8035068907 just dial directly.

  

BEST REGARDS,

  

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

  

100 million dollars just for me!  Wow, you can just feel my excitement!

 

This sounds great. 

Joe Czarfunee

 

I get numerous emails from his fake bank.  I am going to completely ignore the bank.  This is a good curve ball and will derail his routine.

 

Dear Sir,

 

TODAY, I WAS INFORMED BY THE DIRECTOR OF THE HOLDING BANK, THAT THEY HAVE CONTACTED YOU SINCE TUESDAY AND YOU ARE YET TO RESPOND TO THEM. IS THIS TRUE? KINDLY LET ME KNOW.

 

I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE AND I MUST REALLY COMMEND ON YOUR EFFORTS IN SEEING THAT WE BOTH CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION TOGETHER.

 

FIRSTLY, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY SEND ME YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS AND PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER.

 

THIS MORNING, I SUCCEEDED IN CONFIRMING THE ACTUAL COST FOR THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL LEGALLY AUTHENTICATE YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE), AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT, AND I FOUND OUT THAT THEY WILL COST THE TOTAL SUM OF (US$23,500) only.

 

SINCE I HAVE THE ORIGINAL COPY OF THE STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT, WE WILL ONLY HAVE TO SECURE THE REST THREE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF. ALL THESE DOCUMENTS WILL BE SUBMITRED TO THE HOLDING BANK IMMEDIATELY I SECURE THEM, BECAUSE ONLY THESE DOCUMENTS WILL EFFECT THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM COSTS THE SUM OF US$20,500, AND THE DEATH CERTIFICATE AND CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT WILL COST THE SUM OF US$3,000. THIS IS HOW I CAME-UP WITH THE TOTAL SUM OF US$23,500 only.

 

IN THIS LETTER, I ENCLOSED AN ATTACHED COPY OF THE STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT, AS AN EVIDENCE OF TRUE BENEFICIARY TO YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE), ALSO I ATTACHED A SCANNED COPY OF MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT FOR RECOGNITION.

 

PRESENTLY, I CAN PERSONALLY AFFORD THE SUM OF US$20,000 only, SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY ASSIST THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WITH THE REST BALANCE OF US$3,500 only.

 

ACCORDINGLY TO THE BUSINESS LAW OF 1856, WHICH STATES THAT "ALL BUSINESS PARTNERS CAN EQUALLY INVEST PERSONAL FUNDS INTO A BUSINESS TRANSACTION PROVIDED THAT THEY BOTH HAVE GOOD INTEREST RATIOS". SINCE WE BOTH ARE PARTNERS IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY HELP ME OUT NOW THAT WE ARE ALMOST CONCLUDED. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

 

I AWAIT YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICIAL LETTER.

  

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

I AWAIT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICIAL LETTER.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

A wrinkled fake…how nice.

 

 

 

Cheesy fake passport!  I act like a complete idiot.

 

Thank ya fur doing what ya are. 

tell me how to go on

Joe

 

Dear Sir,

 

FIRSTLY, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY SEND ME YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS AND PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER.

 

HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE HOLDING BANK? IF YES PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, SINCE THE BANK NEEDS US TO SUBMIT A SWORN AFFIDAVIT, DEATH CERTIFICATE, CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT AND STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT TO THEM, I WILL HAVE TO SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

ALL THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WILL BE SECURED WITH YOUR FULL NAME AS THE TRUE BENEFICIARY TO THIS FUNDS IN QUESTION.

 

NOW THE PROBLEMS LIES ON THE FACT THAT THESE DOCUMENTS COSTS THE SUM OF US$23,500, WHILE I HAVE ONLY THE SUM OF US$20,000, WHICH I HAD GENERATED FROM THE SALE OF MY ONLY CAR AND LAND. I HAD TO SELL MY PROPERTIES TO COME UP WITH SOME MONEY BECAUSE I WOULDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ALL RESPONSIBILITES TO YOU AS MY PARTNER.

 

I SENT YOU THE STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT EARLIER, SO THAT YOU CAN BE REST ASSURED THAT WE ONLY HAVE TO SECURE THE REST THREE DOCUMENTS.

 

FOR WE BOTH TO CONCLUDE THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WE HAVE TO SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THE HOLDING BANK CAN RELEASE THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, YOU WILL HAVE TO ASSIST THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WITH THE SUM OF US$3,500 only, BECAUSE I PRESENTLY HAVE AN INSUFFICIENT SUM OF US$20,000 ALREADY.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, KINDLY SEND THE SUM OF US$3,500 only THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, SO THAT I CAN ADD UP WITH WHAT I HAVE AND THEN SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF.

 

SEND THE MONEY WITH THESE INFORMATIONS:

 

RECEIVER'S NAME: OBINNA EMEONYE (My Secretary).

 

LOCATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA.

 

MY DEAR, I AWAIT THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT I CAN EVENTUALLY SECURE ALL THESE DOCUMENTS AND SUBMIT THEM TO THE HOLDING BANK ON YOUR BEHALF, INOTHER TO EFFECT THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

PLEASE, DO NOT BETRAY ME BY RUNNING AWAY WITH THIS FUNDS WHEN IT IS BEING TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I AM COUNTING ON YOU SO PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME.

 

I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT TODAY.

 

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

I AWAIT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICIAL LETTER.

  

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

  

Once again, real simple, real stupid sounding…

 

i wil get dat mony togeder right now

Joe Czarfunee

  

Dear Sir,

 

FIRSTLY, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY SEND ME YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS AND PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE AND THE CONTENT WAS WELL UNDERSTOOD PROPERLY.

 

IN THIS LETTER, I ENCLOSED AN ATTACHED COPY OF THE PICTURE OF THIS FUNDS. THIS PARTICULAR PICTURE WAS TAKEN BY ME BEFORE MY LATE CLIENT DEPOSITTED THIS FUNDS INTO THE HOLDING BANK FOR SAFE KEEPING.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, THIS PICTURE WILL SERVE AS AN EVIDENCE OF TRUE BENEFICIARY.

 

AS THE LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I REQUIRE TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING CONTACTED BY THE HOLDING BANK.

 

ACCORDING TO THE FEDERAL LAW OF INHERITANCE OF 1964, "ALL BENEFICIARIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CONSONANCE WITH THEIR ATTORNEY INOTHER TO JUSTIFY A FRUITFUL CLAIM OF THEIR INHERITANCE".

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I AM SO MUCH IN A NERVOUS STATE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE HAVE TO SECURE THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY AND SUBMIT THEM TO THE HOLDING BANK SO THAT THIS FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.

 

AS A LEGAL LUMINARY OF MY STANDARD, I PROMISE THAT I WILL MAKE SURE THAT THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WILL BE READY BY 24HRS AFTER YOU SEND THE US$3,500, TO MY SECRETARY.

 

NOW THAT THIS FUNDS WILL SOON HIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN THE STATES, I WILL LIKE TO STILL INFORM YOU THAT I WILL BE COMING OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE FINAL SHARING OF THIS MONEY ACCORDINGLY.

 

PLEASE, DO NOT BETRAY ME BY RUNNING AWAY WITH THIS FUNDS AS SOON AS IT IS CONFIRMED IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. PLEASE I BEG YOU BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY SOLD MY MAJOR PROPERTIES AND MY HOUSE RENT IS ALSO DUE.

 

AS YOUR LEGAL ATTORNEY, I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT TODAY SO THAT I SECURE ALL THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN BECAUSE I AM STRONGLY CONFIDING IN YOU AS MY PARTNER IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

REMEMBER THAT WE BOTH NEED THIS FUNDS BECAUSE WE ARE DESTINED BY NATURE.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

  

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

Seen it already a dozen times.  Lame!  I completely ignore him.

 

Dear Sir,

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I HAVE BEEN REALLLY WORRIED BECAUSE I HAD NOT HEARD FROM YOU FOR SOME WHILE NOW.

 

RIGHT NOW, I AM TOTALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT US TO LOOSE THIS FUNDS AS IT MEANS ALOT TO OURLIVES.

 

TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST TO SEND THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT I CAN SECURE ALL THE NECCESSARY DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF.

 

PLEASE DO NOT BE SILENT ON ME NOW THAT THIS FUNDS WILL SOON HIT YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

 

I HOPE T HEAR FROM YOU POSITIVELY.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

I will have my assistant Toby send you $3500 western union payment immediately

Joe Czarfunee

 

 

Dear Sir,

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL RESPONSE DATED 8TH OF JUNE 2005.

 

IN REGARDS TO SECURING THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY MAKE THIS PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I CAN SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS TODAY.

 

I HAVE ALREADY COMMITTED MYSELF INTO THE SUCCESS OF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION AND I DO NOT WANT US TO LOOSE THIS FUNDS AS IT MEANS ALOT TO YOU AND I.

 

IN THE PAST SOME BENEFICIARIES HAVE LOST THEIR INHERITANCE FUNDS SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT TENDER LEG+AL DOCUMENTS TO BACK-UP THEIR INHERITANCE CLAIM.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE,  PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME BECAUSE MY KNEES ARE ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF YOU (I don’t swing that way Mugu!) AND ALSO MY FAMILY IS ON MY BACK BECAUSE I AM TOTALLY DEPENDING ON THIS FUNDS AS IT WILL DEFINATELY CHANGE MY LIFE, YOURS AND THAT OF OUR FAMILIES FOR GOOD.  (you get rich and I get poor…what a deal!)

 

FOLLOWING MY REQUEST FOR YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER, YOU NEVER GAVE IT TO ME AND I WONDER WHY.

 

REMEMBER THAT WE REQUIRE REGULAR TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS FOR BETTER ORAL COMMUNICATION.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

TAKE NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq). v

 

I completely ignore him.  He resends me the above twice…then more of the same…

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, IT IS VERY MUCH PAINFUL TO ME THAT I HAVE NOT EVEN HEARD FROM YOU ALL THIS WHILE.

 

YOUR SILENCE ON ME HAVE REALLY MADE ME SO NERVOUS AND I AM ALREADY LOOSING WEIGHT, BECAUSE THE HOLDING BANK IS SERIOUSLY THREATENING TO CONFISTICATE THIS FUNDS IF WE DO NOT TENDER ALL REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO THEM BEFORE THURSDAY THIS WEEK.

 

REMEMBER THAT THIS FUNDS ACTUALLY MEANS ALOT TO YOU AND I.

 

PLEASE MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY SO THAT WE CAN SECURE ALL DOCUMENTS AND HAVE THIS FUNDS WIRED DIRECTLY INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

 

PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN NOW THAT I HAVE ALREADY ENDEAVOURED ALOT INTO THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY PURCHASE THE CHEAPEST CALL CARD AND CALL ME IMMEDIATELY. TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

TAKE NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

i am sorry that u are losing weight.  i will send you the payment from my food store

i wish i could send salmonella tainted food to you

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          KINDLY MAKE THE PAYMENT TODAY? FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH......

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 15TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, MY PRESENT CONDITION IS DETERRORIATING AND THIS IS REALLY NOT HELPING  MATTERS EITHER.  (I’m glad!)

 

RIGHT NOW, MY ENTIRE FAMILY IS ON MY NECK AS I CAN NO LONGER AFFORD TO CARTER FOR THEIR NEEDS AS I HAVE SOLD SOME OF MY PROPERTIES AND THE MONEY WHICH I HAVE AT HAND IS STILL NOT ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY THE PROCUREMENT OF THE REQUIRED LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL LEGALLY AUTHENTICATE YOU (JOE CZARFUNEE) AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

MY KNESS ARE ON THE GROUND AND I PLEAD TO YOU THAT, YOU SHOULD KINDLY SEND THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT I CAN EQUALLY ADD IT UP TO WHAT I HAVE AND THEN SECURE ALL THESE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

HENCE I AM PRESENTLY IN A VERY TIGHT CORNER, I WILL NOT WANT TO SPEND THIS MONEY WHICH I SUFFERED SO MUCH TO RAISE, SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY SEND THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT I SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS TODAY.

 

YOU HAVE MADE ME UNDERSTAND SEVERALLY THAT YOU WILL MAKE THIS PAYMENT TO ME EVER SINCE LAST WEEK BUT I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM YET TO HEAR FROM YOU ON THAT EFFECT.

 

I DO NOT WANT THE HOLDING BANK TO CONFISTICATE THIS FUNDS THROUGH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST DISASTER TO MY EXISTENCE.

 

I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT OF US$3,500  TODAY AND PLEASE JOE CZARFUNEE, DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS OFFICIAL LETTER, CALL ME SO THAT WE BOTH CAN TALK ON HOW THIS FUNDS WILL BE SHARED ACCORDINGLY.

 

TEL: +112348035068907 just dial this number directly.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

TAKE NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

From: "Toby Williams"     

Subject:        western union payment 

 

ok, Joe said that I should send ya the western union form when I sent ya da money ok.  I sent ya the transfer todays so its all good.  So I'm sendin it like Joe told me to ok.  So here it is ok.  He sent $3500 and anoder $500 for food and flea soap for ya.

 

Toby

 

 

I blur a western union slip.  This should drive him crazy!  I’m sure that he stared at it for hours, printed it, and gone cross eyed.

 

Subject:          THE SCANNING WAS POOR...(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)         

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 16TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

INITIALLY, I EARNESTLY EXPLAINED TO YOU ABOUT THE NECCESSITY OF TELEPHONE CONVERSATION AND AT THIS TIME I THINK IT IS VERY MUCH NEEDED.

 

THIS MORNING AT ABOUT 11:25 am (MY TIME), I RECEIVED A SCANNED COPY OF THE WESTERN UNION PAYMENT RECEIPT, FROM (TOBY WILLIAMS) WHOM STATED IN HIS EMAIL THAT HE MADE THE PAYMENT OF US$3,500 WITH AN ADDITION OF US$500, AMOUNTING THE TOTAL OF US$4,000.

 

I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO CASH OUT THIS MONEY SIMPLY BECAUSE THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT WAS BADLY SCANNED BY TOBY WILLIAMS,  AS IT IS NOT VISIBLE AT ALL.

 

FROM THE LOOK OF THINGS I GUESS THAT YOUR SCAN MACHINE IS NOT QUITE GOOD.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, ALL I NEED TO CASH THIS MONEY IS THE FOLLOWING:

 

MTCN NUMBER (western union control number).

TEST QUESTION.?????

ANSWER.????????

 

THESE INFORMATIONS SHOULD BE IN THE WESTERN UNION PAYMENT RECEIPT WHICH YOU HAVE THERE, SO KINDLY SEND ME THESE INFORMATIONS FOR IMMEDIATE CLEARANCE AS TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE.

 

I REALLY THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT ASSISTANCE TOWARDS THE ASSURED SUCCESS OF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION,  KNOWING THE BIG ROLE WHICH I HAD PLAYED BY SELLING MY OWN PROPERTIES INOTHER TO RAISE SOME MONEY FOR THE NEEDED DOCUMENTS.

 

I WILL BE EXPECTING THESE INFORMATIONS TODAY BECAUSE THE HOLDING BANK IS ALREADY THREATHENING TO CONFISTICATE THIS FUNDS IF WE DO NOT TENDER THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL SUBSTANTIATE YOU AS THE RIGHT NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

I AWAIT YOUR IMMEDIATE CALL TOO.

 

Joe Czarfunee is starting to get more intelligent…amazing!

 

Subject:        Re: THE SCANNING WAS POOR...(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)        

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

That idiot Toby was supposed to send you that days ago!  Did you get it?  What did he send you?  I am so mad at him.  The scanner is only 2 weeks old.  That idiot Toby dropped it on the floor last week.  I think he was drunk.  He said that it was OK.  I will have him resend it when he gets in.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

Dear Sir,

 

THIS EMAIL IS TO INFORM YOU THAT I ALSO INFORMED TOBY WILLIAMS THAT THE SCANNED WESTERN UNION RECEIPT WAS BADLY SCANNED.

 

SCANNING OF THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT IS NOT NECCESSARY AT ALL RATHER, I ONLY NEED THE BELOW LISTED INFORMATIONS FOR THE CLEARANCE OF THE MONEY AND THAT'S ALL.

 

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND ME THE INFORMATION WHICH I ENLISTED IN MY LAST LETTER, SO THAT I CAN EQUALLY SECURE ALL THESE DOCUMENTS TODAY BECAUSE THE HOLDING IS STILL WAITING FOR US TO SUBMIT THESE DOCUMENTS TO THEM INOTHER FOR THEM TO RELEASE THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AS THE BENEFICIARY TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

INTIALLY I REQUESTED FOR YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER, WHICH YOU NEVER GAVE TO ME AND I REALLY WONDER WHY?

 

FOR THE FACT THAT THE HOLDING BANK WILL RELEASE OUR FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY AFTER I SUBMIT ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS TO THEM, I WILL PERSONALLY HAVE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER ONCE AGAIN.

 

HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE HOLDING BANK RECENTLY? PLEASE DO NOT FAIL TO INFORM YOU AS SOON AS YOU HEAR FROM THEM BECAUSE I AM YOUR STANDING LEGAL ATTORNEY IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

REMEMBER THAT I WILL BE COMING OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE FINAL SHARING OF THIS FUNDS ACCORDINGLY AND SO YOU WILL ALSO HAVE TO ENLIGTHEN ME ON THE ACTUAL AIRPORT WHICH I WILL HAVE TO ARRIVE INTO.

 

BELOW ARE THE INFORMATIONS WHICH I NEED TO GET THIS MONEY:

 

MTCN NUMBER (western union control number)

TEST QUESTION ???????

ANSWER: ??????????

 

THESE INFORMATIONS ARE RIGHT IN THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT, SO PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME IMMEDIATELY AS WE HAVE A VERY LIMITED TIME.

 

He sends this three times.  I ignore him more.

 

Subject:          WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS????(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 18TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

IT IS QUITE UNUSUAL THAT YOU HAVE NOT EVEN RESPONDED TO MY LAST LETTER TO YOU.

 

I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER TODAY BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION BECAUSE I SEE NO REASON WHY YOU ARE DELAYING ALL EFFORTS.

 

THIS MORNING AT ABOUT 30MINUTES AGO, I RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL FROM THE HOLDING BANK AND THEY HAVE INFORMED ME THAT THEY HAVE CONTACTED YOU SOME DAYS AGO AND THEY NEVER HEARD FROM YOU. THIS REALLY TOOK ME UNAWARES BECAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS.

 

AS YOUR STANDING LEGAL ATTORNEY IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I NEED TO KNOW ALL WHAT THE HOLDING BANK TELLS YOU AT ALL TIMES.

 

I STILL AWAIT THE WESTERN UNION INFORMATIONS ASAP BECAUSE TIME IS NO LONGER A FRIEND TO US

 

Subject:        Re: FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)      

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I had to fire Toby today.  He was all drunk and kept scratching himself.  It was sad and funny at the same time.

 

Unfortunately he has the Western Union Paper.  I have looked for it but have not been able to find it.  I will ask him for it.  If he doesn't give it to me, I will beat him till he does.  He has $4000 of my money tied up!

 

I'm going over to get it one way or another.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Now Toby sends him a message…this should tick him off! 

 

From: "Toby Williams"

Subject  Re: YOUR SCANNING WAS POOR (FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)  

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

See Attached.

 

   

To:       "Joe Czarfunee"       

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 19TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

TODAY I RECEIVED THE GREATEST INSULT OF MY LIFE. (More insults surely await you!)

 

TOBY WILLIAMS SENT ME AN INSULTIVE EMAIL ATTACHED WITH A VERY CRAZY PICTURE WHICH HE CLAIMS TO BE THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT.

 

AS AN ATTORNEY OF MY CALIBRE AND EXPERIENCE, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I SUE TOBY WILLIAMS, FOR ASSAULT.  (That’s Funny!)

 

THE HOLDING BANK CALLED ME LATE YESTERDAY AND TOLD ME THAT THEY CONTACTED YOU LATELY BUT THEY ARE YET TO HEAR FROM YOU. FROM THE VERY UNSET OF THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I TOLD YOU TO ALWAYS LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING CONTACTED BY THE HOLDING BANK, BUT YOU DO NOT ENLIGHTEN ME AT ALL THEREBY CARRYING ME BLIND.

 

I HAVE REPOSED TRUST IN YOU AS MY PARTNER IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION BUT I CAN NOW SEE THAT MY TRUST IN YOU IS BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

 

IF YOU ACTUALLY MADE THE PAYMENT OF US$4,000, THEN KINDLY COLLECT THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT FROM TOBY AND SEND ME THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS FOR IMMEDIATE CLEARANCE BECAUSE WE HAVE TO SECURE THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY.

 

Subject:          THIS IS WHAT TOBY SENT TO ME TODAY!!!   

To:       "Joe Czarfunee"       

  

KINDLY SEE WHAT TOBY SENT TO ME.

 

 

Subject:        Re: THIS IS WHAT TOBY SENT TO ME TODAY!!!     

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I am shocked by what you sent me.  That is definitely Toby in that picture.  Did you see that wife of his.  I think she is really a man!  Check out those legs!

 

I think he is going to cancel the western union payment and use that money for himself.  I think he is screwing me and stealing my $4000!  He refuses to give me the copy of the payment!

 

What should I do?  I wanted to get the money to you and didn't want to embarrass the bankers.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

I write him again a few beers….I mean hours later.

 

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I can't believe after all these hours from my last email you have not contacted me.  So why are you comparing me with Toby?  Answer!  I had him send you things because he is better with such things.  He may have taken MY money and you complain to me?  I want my money back for this deal.  You better write me when you get this. 

 

Joe

 

Time for bed….just to get him more on the defensive…

   

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I am pissed off with you now.  Did you cash the 4000 or not?  And now your whining like a baby about some bank emails.  Who cares!  There are millions at stake and you are whining like a women.  What are you Gay?  You sound like it!  I think you are Gay!  Reply!

 

Joe

 

VEHEMENTLY, I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER WITH FULL DISAPPOINTMENT BECAUSE YOU DO NOT SEEM TO BE SERIOUS AT ALL. HOW CAN YOUR ASSISTANT WITHOLD THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT OF THE MONEY WHICH YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE PAID?

  

WHY WOULD YOU EVER ASK ME IF I CASHED THE MONEY WHEN YOU NEVER MADE ANY PAYMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

AS A SENIOR ATTORNEY OF MY STATUS, I KNOW ALL THESE TRICKS AND YOU DEFINATELY KNOW THAT YOU NEVER MADE ANY PAYMENT, SO STOP TELLING ME LIES BECAUSE THAT WOULDN'T HELP EITHER.

 

IN YOUR  EMAIL MESSAGE YOU EVEN WENT AS FAR AS INSULTING ME BY CALLING ME GAY. MY DEAR, I AM AN OLD MAN AND I WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO INSULT ME AT ALL BECAUSE I WOULD NOT TAKE THAT FROM YOU.  (Oh Yes you will!)

 

THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT YOU NEVER MADE ANY PAYMENT SO STOP LYING......

 

PLS: IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ACTUALLY MADE THIS PAYMENT THEN PROOF IT.

 

Subject:        Re: URGENT, FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....        

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I really don’t need to hear you complaining and whining like a baby.  I called you gay because you act like a women.  Yes I did get the money together.  Not only did I get the $3500, but I got an additional $500 to help YOU with your expenses.  I see not that I should not have made the $500 offer because you certainly do not deserve it with your attitude.

 

I think Toby stole my $4000.  I am willing to retry sending the money (without him involved).  Of course it will be only $3500.

 

I will have to get the money together.  But if you accuse me of lying on more time or anything like that, I will terminate this deal immediately. 

 

Joe

 

Lets see if we can get Toby in on the Action.

 

Subject:        Re: YOUR SCANNING WAS POOR (FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)      

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I was thinking that maybe you and I could be partners.  I really want to screw Joe over for firing me.  He used to be my friend.  What if you and I split this money you have and give nothing to Joe?  How much money is involved?  Joe never told me.  How much is my cut? 

 

Toby

 

From:  "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>  Add to Address Book

Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.ca. Learn more  

Subject:          GIVE ME THE WESTERN UNION INFORMATIONS....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)           

To:       "Toby Williams"        

 

Dear Toby Williams,

 

I AM REALLY SORRY THAT WE BOTH CAN NOT BE PARTNERS AT ALL BECAUSE I HAVE NO BUSINESS WITH YOU AT ALL.

 

ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS THE WESTERN UNION INFORMATIONS, SO THAT I CAN CASH THIS MONEY FOR SOME URGENT BUSINESS PROCEEDS.

 

PLEASE DO NOT BE DISHONEST.

 

TOBY WILLIAMS, ALL I NEED TO CASH THIS MONEY IS THE FOLLOWING:

 

MTCN NUMBER (western union control number).

TEST QUESTION.?????

ANSWER.????????

 

THESE INFORMATIONS ARE IN THE WESTERN UNION PAYMENT RECEIPT WHICH YOU HAVE THERE, SO KINDLY SEND ME THESE INFORMATIONS FOR IMMEDIATE CLEARANCE AS TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE.

 

I AWAIT THESE INFORMATIONS TODAY.........

 

From: "Toby Williams"     

Subject:        Re: GIVE ME THE WESTERN UNION INFORMATIONS....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)    

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

Let me get this right.  You do not want to be partners with me, but you want me to send the money to you.  Why should I do that?  I think I will just cash out the payment and buy a motorbike for myself. 

 

So if I give you the western union information, I get nothing and you get the money.  And if I don't give you the information, I get a motorbike.    What would you do?

 

I think I will spend the money before my wife finds out about it and spends it.  Yes, I will buy a motorbike before she gets home.

 

Have a good day.  Tell Joe Thanks!  Do you want me to send you a picture of what I get?

 

Toby

 

Subject:          URGENT, FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....        

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 21ST OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

I ACTUALLY DESERVE A GOOD TREAT IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION BECAUSE I HAVE PUT IN ALOT. LIFE HAVE NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY PRESENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN BANKRUPT DUE TO MY COMMITMENT INTO THIS GREAT BUSINESS. I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH ARE DESTINED TO CELEBRATE SUCCESS FOR THE REST OF OURLIVES.

 

WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN, YOU TEND TO FIND OUT THE KIND OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU. IF A THING LIKE THIS DID NOT OCCUR, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED TOBY'S INSINCERERITY AND DISHONESTY.

 

MY WIFE IS A PSYCOLOGIST, AND I HAD HER READ YOUR LAST EMAIL AND SHE CONFIRMED TO ME THAT YOU SOUND LIKE A VERY STRAIGHT PERSON (Yes I am Straight, Thank you for noticing), WHICH MEANS THAT YOU ARE TRUTHFUL.  (Thanks!)

 

THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INVOLVES A VERY HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY WHICH WILL DEFINATELY CHANGE OURLIVES FOREVER, AND SO WE DO NOT HAVE TO RUIN THIS BLESSING.

 

I WILL FORWARD TO YOU THE LAST EMAIL WHICH TOBY SENT TO ME (Tattle Tale!), SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THE KIND OF PERSON HE IS. TOBY IS A SNAKE, SO BEWARE OF HIM BECAUSE SUCH A PERSON LIKE HIM IS DEADLY AND YOU DO NOT NEED SUCH PERSON AROUND YOU.

 

AS YOUR ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY COLLECT BACK THAT MONEY FROM TOBY, IF THIS WILL BE POSSIBLE, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT YOU TO LOOSE ANYTHING AS MONEY IS NOT REALLY EASY TO COME BY.

 

SINCE YOU ARE WILLING TO RESEND THE SUM OF US$3,500 FOR THE PROCURING OF THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL AUTHENTICATE YOU AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT, I WILL ADVISE THAT YOU STILL MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH WESTERN UNION.

 

RECEIVER'S NAME: EMEONYE OBINNA (My Office Secretary).

LOCATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA.

 

SEND THIS PAYMENT TODAY.

 

SPLIT THE PAYMENT IN TWO PLACES (eg: US$1,800 and $1,700) RESPECTIVELY. KINDLY FOLLOW THIS LEGAL INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE WE HAVE A VERY STRONG MONETRY POLICY HERE IN THIS COUNTRY. MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY, SO THAT I CAN SECURE THE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY.

 

ALSO I WILL NEED YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER. (NO!  You don’t even deserve a fake number.)

 

KINDLY READ THE EMAIL WHICH TOBY SENT TO ME.

 

Toby writes him again….Its fun insulting a Mugu!

 

Subject:        Re: GIVE ME THE WESTERN UNION INFORMATIONS....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)    

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I'm just sending you a note thanking you.  I got a new bike.  Its fun!  I am still learning to ride it and I haven't fallen or scratched it.  Yeah, I know you are glad to hear that.  I think the colors are cool.  I'm sending you a picture of it.  My wife took the picture too soon because I was giving you the finger, but that is OK.  You get the idea.  You are used to my middle finger anyway.  I figure you'll recognize me without my middle finger directed at you.

 

I got a bike out of the deal.  I am very happy!  If you are ever around here and want a ride on the bike let me know and I’ll piss on the seat before you get on it.

 

Take care,

 

Toby

 

 

A quick internet search turns up this guy.  He kinda looks like “Toby”!

  

Subject:          I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU, BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....  

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 22ND OF JUNE, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

AFTER MY LETTER TO YOU YESTERDAY, I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU AND SO I AM REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION. I HOPE THAT YOU ARE IN GOOD HEALTH AS THAT MATTERS ALOT TO ME SINCE YOU ARE MY PARTNER IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

TODAY I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM TOBY AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE JUST PURCHASED A BIKE WITH THE MONEY WHICH YOU HAD EARLIER SENT THROUGH WESTERN UNION. HE ALSO SENT ME THE PICTURE OF THE NEW BIKE AND THIS REALLY MADE ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT TOBY IS MENTALLY ILL.

 

KINDLY SEGREGATE YOURSELF FROM TOBY BECAUSE HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON AT ALL.

 

IN THE CONCLUSION OF THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL BE COMING OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE SHARING OF THIS FUNDS ACCORDINGLY. WHEN I ARRIVE TO YOUR COUNTRY, I WILL LIKE TO MEET TOBY BECAUSE I WILL MAKE SURE THAT HE FACES THE LAW AS A THIEF.

 

ALSO YOU WILL HAVE TO ASSURE ME THAT YOU WILL NOT BETRAY ME BY RUNNING AWAY WITH THIS FUNDS AS SOON AS IT IS BEING TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

FOLLOWING MY LAST LETTER TO YOU, I WILL ADVISE THAT YOU DO YOUR BEST IN MAKING THIS PAYMENT TODAY SO THAT I CAN SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I AM REALLY COUNTING ON YOU SO DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME NOW.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

Subject:        Re: URGENT, FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....        

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I am shocked and surprised that Toby bought a bike with my money!  I would hate to see his fat ass on a bike. Toby does seem to be mentally ill now that I think about it.  I could tell you some stories.  Like the time he was playing with the battery charger without pants on.  It was funny, I hope you try that.

 

I like your idea of splitting the payment.  I have a lot of confidence in you and I feel much better than I did a few days ago when my money was stolen.  I will send you the $500 that I promised as well to help you.

 

So I will make 2 payments, the first being $2050 (1800+250) and the 2nd $1950 (1700+250).  After you get the first payment, let me know and I will make the second payment. 

 

I have to go to a wedding tomm.  My fat ass sister in law is finally getting married.  I feel sorry for that guy.  I’m going to be drunk tomm night after the wedding, but I will send the first payment to you the next morning. 

 

This is where I will send it.  Please verify that the spelling is correct.

 

RECEIVER: EMEONYE OBINNA

PLACE: LAGOS  NIGERIA

 

I am so mad at Toby.  I am glad that you want to turn Toby into the Law as a thief.  I feel like smashing his face into that bike of his.  He has caused a lot of trouble.  How long have you been married?  I have been married way too long, at least at this wedding I get to look at some women and have some drinks.  When do you plan to come over here?  We will have to go out drinking at some strip clubs and go over and smash Tobys bike.

 

Have a good day,

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

I was thinking about getting drunk at the wedding and going over and smash that bike.  I was thinking about maybe getting arrested and using the $3500 to get out of jail.  But I came up with a new plan!

 

Subject:          I AWAIT THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS, FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....           

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 23RD OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE, I WILL LIKE TO WISH YOUR INLAW A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. I HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 24YEARS NOW AND I AM STILL LIVING WITH MY ENTIRE FAMILY IN LOVE, TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING.

 

SINCE YOU ARE MY SINCERE PARTNER IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL ADVISE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRUNK BECAUSE IT WOULD NOT BE NECCESSARY NOW, SO PRESERVE THE CELEBRATIONS UNTIL I ARRIVE SAFELY TO YOUR COUNTRY.

 

I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE OFFICIALLY APPLIED FOR MY VISA, TO YOUR COUNTRY BECAUSE I WILL BE COMING OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY AFTER THIS FUNDS HAVE BEEN DULLY CONFIRMED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. I WILL LIKE YOU TO ENLIGTHEN ME ON THE RIGHT AIRPORT WHICH I WILL ARRIVE INTO BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO WELCOME ME AT THE AIRPORT. PLEASE I BEG YOU!

 

AS AN ATTORNEY OF MY AGE AND PERSONALITY, I DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL AT ALL BUT WE BOTH WILL STILL CELEBRATE ON MY ARRIVAL TO YOUR COUNTRY.

 

FROM ALL CORNERS IT IS QUITE CLEAR THAT YOU AND I, ARE DESTINED TO BE RICH FOR THE REST OF OURLIVES.

 

I ALSO APPRECIATE THAT YOU WILL MAKE AN ADDITIONAL PAYMENT OF US$500, FOR MY EXPENSES AND UPKEEP. REALLY I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO BE A VERY NICE PERSON AND DEFINATELY YOU SHALL BE REWARDED GREATLY WITH THE BEST IN LIFE.

 

THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS WHICH YOU WANT ME TO VERIFY IS ACTUALLY CORRECT, SO JUST GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT TOMMORROW MORNING BEING THE 24TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

MAKE THE FIRST PAYMENT AS FOLLOWS:

 

PAY US$1,000 IN TWO PLACES (in the total of US$2,000), SO THAT AFTER I CASH IT THEN YOU SEND THE SECOND PART THE NEXT DAY.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKET AND GAS STATIONS AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

WHILE MAKING THIS PAYMENT DO NOT DISCLOSE TO ANYONE WHY YOU ARE MAKING THIS PAYMENT BECAUSE WE HAVE ALOT OF JEOLOUS PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD WHOM DO NOT LIKE PROGRESS. I PERSONALLY HAVE NOT DISCLOSED THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION TO ANYONE BECAUSE I KNOW THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT IS INVOLVED.

 

AS THE RIGHTFUL NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT AND AUTHORITY TO WRITE THE HOLDING BANK AND TELL THEM THAT YOUR ATTORNEY WILL BE SUBMITTING ALL THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO THEM SOONEST. I ACTUALLY INSTRUCT YOU TO WRITE TO THE HOLDING BANK IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THEY WILL BE REST ASSURED THAT WE BOTH ARE WILLING TO CLAIM OUR FUNDS FROM THEM.

 

I AWAIT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS LETTER.

 

Subject:          IMAGINE WHAT TOBY SENT TO ME....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)      

To:                 

 

THIS EMAIL WAS SENT TO ME BY TOBY WILLIAMS.

  

BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH Esq.

 

Toby writes him again….just to keep on the scene.

 

Date:   Thu, 23 Jun 2005 16:35:05 -0700 (PDT)  

From:  "Toby Williams"

To:       "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>           

 

hey, why didn't you write me back?  Listen I was thinking, you have been good for me.  Why dont u and I work together to get money out of Joe.  We will split between us.  We can do good.  Also, I need more money for my bike insurance, so you need to send me some money ok.  I need $250 right now.  So you send it to me otherwise I gonna tell Joe that you are stealin his money.  That you are really a women and want his money.  I'm telling him you are a scam if you don't give me dat money.  You send it to me right away or I'm making trouble for you.

 

You send the money via western union to:

 

Toby Williams

99 Cent Onion Rings

McDonalds USA

 

I expect your immediate reply and payment.  You don't pay I make trouble.

 

Toby

 

Subject:          DO NOT FORGET TO SEND ME THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS TODAY, FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH....   

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 24TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

I HOPE THAT YOUR INLAW'S WEDDING WENT SUCCESSFULLY?

 

I FORWARDED TO YOU, THE EMAIL WHICH I RECEIVED FROM TOBY TODAY BEING THE 24TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

I ACTUALLY SENT YOU THAT EMAIL SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHOM TOBY IS. I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN SUCH A PERSON BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY ILL.

 

HE ACTUALLY WANTS ME TO SEND HIM SOME MONEY FOR THE INSURANCE OF HIS NEW BIKE. THIS REALLY SOUNDS FUNNY, BUT I PROMISE TO DEAL WITH TOBY AS SOON AS I ARRIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY. I AM ALSO HAPPY THAT HE EVEN GAVE ME HIS ADDRESS (You are dumber than I thought!), BECAUSE I WILL PERSONALLY BRING HIM TO BOOK. 

 

HONESTLY, I FEEL SO COMFORTABLE TO BE CONCLUDING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WITH YOU AS MY PARTNER.

 

IN MY LAST LETTER TO YOU, I ADVISED YOU TO CONTACT THE HOLDING BANK, SO HAVE YOU CONTACTED THEM? PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

 

HAVE YOU MADE THE PAYMENT? PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW!

 

I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT INFOTMATIONS TODAY.

 

My New Plan Goes into Effect.  I rehash another Mugu’s email with a ridiculous amount of money and make a week deadline to get all this completed.  I want to move this guy along.  I use my old alias “Barrister Mubamba”

 

Subject:        Re: IMAGINE WHAT TOBY SENT TO ME....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I was going to send you the first payment today.  I went to check my email because I wanted to make sure that I had your personal secretary’s name correctly spelled.  I got the following mail.  I can get $251 million!  I was thinking that I can get this money, we can split it between us, and we will have more money that just that amount you have.  I am very excited about this.  And look, in less than a week we can have this money.  Isn’t this great.  And it will cost less than those fees at that bank of yours!  It will cost less to get more money.

 

I’ll forward this message to you.  The wedding was great, the police showed up.  Some people and the bride were arrested.  It was great!  I’ll tell you more about it later.

 

I was excited about the Barristers letter and wanted you to see it right away.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

<Forwarded Message

 

Greetings in the name of our God, I am Barrister Mubamba from Nigeria.  I have acumulated the sum of US$251 million dollars in a BANK here in Lagos State.  I work as oil atorney.

 

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the period of one week due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization or individual that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

 

I want an organization or individual that will use this fund for orphanages, school and church, windows, and lap dancing. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money.

 

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the BANK here in  Lagos State. I will also issue you an authority  letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund and transfer money to you.

 

Contact me as soon as you receive this mail for any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing alternative for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here.  All money spent to acqire da funds wil be reembersed to you at conclusion.  You will be rejoyous in using this 251 USD million to help orphans and call girls.  A bank transfer fee of $750 will gaurentee these funds will be yours.

 

Western Union wire transfer will be move along this. I will die soon and you must acts quickly and soonly. 100% risk free. 

 

Hoping to receive your reply.

Barrister Mubamba

 

I was expecting him to tell me cordially that its an internet scammer and ignore it.

 

Now Even I Can’t Believe the BS Response!

 

Subject:          PLEASE READ CAREFULLY....(FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)      

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

DATE: 25TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

AS A SENIOR ADVOCATE OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, I AM FULLY IN POSITION TO ENLIGTHEN YOU ON SO MANY THINGS BECAUSE I WILL NOT WANT YOU TO FALL VICTIM TO ANYONE WHEN THIS FUNDS GET TO YOU. AS LONG AS THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS CONCERNED, I WILL WANT YOU TO SAFE GAURD OUR FUNDS IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT UNTIL MY ARRIVAL INTO YOUR COUNTRY.  (Boring, heard it lots of times.)

 

FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I AM VERY MUCH DELIGHTED THAT YOU FORWARDED TO ME THE EMAIL WHICH YOU HAD RECEIVED FROM BARRISTER MUBAMBA.

 

BARRISTER MUBAMBA, USED TO WORK UNDER MY LAW FIRM "MARC AND ASSOCIATES LAW CHAMBERS"  AS A JUNIOR ASSOCIATE ATTORNEY AND NOT EVEN A SENIOR ATTORNEY. (WHAT!)

 

AFTER THE DEATH OF MY LATE CLIENT, BARRISTER MUBAMBA TRIED TO LOOT MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS FROM THE HOLDING BANK (ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC) INTO AN ACCOUNT WHICH BELONGED TO A STRANGE FOREIGNER. I GOT TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS WHEN THE HOLDING BANK INFORMED ME THAT THEY HAVE RECEIVED NOTIFICATION FROM BARRISTER MUBAMBA, STATING THAT THEY SHOULD RELEASE MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS INTO A STRANGE FOREIGN ACCOUNT. THE HOLDING BANK CONTACTED ME ON THIS MATTER THEN, INOTHER TO VERIFY IF I WAS ACTUALLY AWARE OF THIS AND I WAS SO SURPRISED BECAUSE THIS WAS THE GREATEST SHOCK OF MY LIFE.  (This BS is quite a shock!)

 

I HAD TO WRITE TO THE HOLDING BANK TO SEAL-UP THE BANK ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT THROUGH THE HELP OF THE DIRECTOR (DR ALEN DOROTHE) FOR SECURITY REASONS. RIGHT NOW THE HOLDING BANK CAN NEVER RELEASE THIS FUNDS TO ANYONE WITHOUT MY SIGNATURE AS THE LEGAL ATTORNEY OF THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

AFTER MY PERSONAL FINDINGS, I HAD TO DISMISS BARRISTER MUBAMBA FROM MY LAW FIRM BECAUSE OF HIS CRIMINAL ACTS WHICH IS TOTALLY AGAINST THE LEGAL DOCTRINES. I ALSO REPORTED THIS CASE TO THE SUPREME COURT OF NIGERIA, AND HE WAS DENOUNCED AS AN ATTORNEY. BE EARLY INFORMED THAT THE SO CALLED BARRISTER MUBAMBA IS NO LONGER AN ATTORNEY, SO KINDLY SEIZE ANY FURTHER CONTACTS WITH HIM BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL.

 

ALSO THIS MAN IS A WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT BY THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE FOR IMPERSONATING MY AUTHORITY AND FOR TRYING TO LOOT MY LATE CLIENT'S MONEY BECAUSE HE RAN OUT OF LAGOS AFTER THIS HE WAS DISMISSED. AFTER HIS DISMISAL I LATER FOUND OUT THAT HE RAN AWAY WITH MY LAW FIRM'S PAYMENT CHEQUE WHICH WAS ISSUED TO US BY ONE OF OUR CLIENT FOR A COURT APPEARANCE. THIS MAN CAUSED ME SO MUCH PAIN THAT I COULDN'T BEAR.

 

NOW YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS MAN IS A REAL CRIMINAL. MY DEAR, I HATE INSINCERITY AND THIS IS WHY I AM REALLY AGGREVATED WITH TOBY'S ATTITUDE.

 

PLEASE, I WILL LIKE YOU TO FORWARD ALL HIS CONTACTS WHICH YOU HAVE SO THAT I CAN AS WELL GIVE THEM TO THE NIGERIA POLICE FOR FURTHER INVESTIGATIONS ON AN IMMEDIATE ARREST.

 

EVER SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING OF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I HAVE BEEN SO COMFORTABLE WITH YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE), BECAUSE I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH ARE DESTINED TO BE RICH. I REALLY BELIEVE IN YOU SO MUCH AND THIS IS WHY I HAD TO TELL YOU ALL THIS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT MAKE ANY MISTAKES AT ALL.

 

WHY SHOULD AN ATTORNEY TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY FOR THE TRANSFER CHARGES OF US$750 TO HAVE SOME FUNDS TRANSFERRED? MY DEAR, NO BANK WOULD EVER DEMAND FOR A TRANSFER FEE FROM YOU THROUGH WESTERN UNION, WHEN THEY POSSESS FUNDS IN THE SO CALLED ACCOUNT. I CAN AS WELL PROOF THIS TO YOU IN ACCORDANCE TO THE FEDERAL LAWS OF BANKING 1946, AS ALSO PRACTISED WORLDWIDE.

 

YOU CAN EQUALLY ASK THE DIRECTOR OF ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC, IF ANY BANK HAS THE RIGHT TO DEMAND A COST OF TRANSFER FROM ANY BENEFICIARY WHEN THEY POSSESS FUNDS IN AN INHERITANCE ACCOUNT.

 

AS A SENIOR ATTORNEY, I WORK WITH BASIC FACTS AND HONESTY BECAUSE I AM A CHRISTIAN AND ALSO A DEACON IN MY CHURCH.

 

PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW THIS CRIMINAL TO RUIN OUR ALMOST CONCLUDED BUSINESS TRANSACTION. KINDLY MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY, SO THAT I CAN LEGALLY SECURE ALL REQUIRED DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

IN THIS LETTER, I ENCLOSED AN ATTACHED COPY OF MY CERTIFICATE OF CALL TO BAR  FOR YOU TO SEE.

 

I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATIONS TODAY.

 

 

 

Just shows you how much these people lie for money.  This guy left himself wide open in claiming to know Mubamba (ME!).  I wait a day and fire off my own BS letter to him.  Lets see how he squirms out of this. 

 

Subject:        A message arrived

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I got this email from Barrister Mubamba.  I contacted him to tell him that my Church was praying for his health.  I also hinted at your concerns about him.  You asked that I forward additional emails to you.  I am doing that.  I am getting a little confused here and I need you to help me figure everything out.  Can you answer Barrister Mubambas questions?

 

Joe Czarfunee

  

>Forwarded Message

 

DEAR MR. JOE CZARFUNEE,

 

THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME SO QUICKLY.  THANK YOU FOR THE PRAYERS FROM YOU AND YOUR CHURCH.  PRAISE HIM!  AMEN!   TODAY I FELT BETTER AND I AM SURE IT IS FROM YOUR PRAYERS.  I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN AND I HAVE NO FEARS OF MY CANCER.  PRAISE HIM!  AMEN! 

 

I AM SURPRISED THAT YOU TOLD ME THAT A SO CALLED LAWYER THAT YOU KNOW DOUBTS MY INTEGRITY.  IT IS NOT I, BUT THIS MAN IS THE CRIMINAL.  HE IS THE ONE WHO IS UNDER INVESTIGATION BY HIGH RANKING NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS.  HIS CREDENTIALS OF BEING A LAWYER HAVE BEEN REVOKED!  HE IS NO LONGER A LAWYER AND IS UNDER INVESTIGATION OF PRACTICING LAW WITHOUT A LICENSE.  HIS DOCUMENTS AND CREDENTIALS WERE REVOKED ON SEPTEMBER 23, 2002.  THESE CREDENTIALS CANNOT BE REINSTATED UNDER THE NIGERIAN FEDERAL LAW OF 1967 SECTION 48 AND THE REGULATORY ACT OF 1978 ARTICLE 19.  THUS HE CAN NEVER BECOME A LAWYER AGAIN IN NIGERIA.  WHAT HE IS DOING IS ILLEGAL.  ALL HIS DOCUMENTS ARE VOID.

 

YOU SAID THIS MAN CLAIMS TO KNOW ME AND CLAIMS THAT I HAVE WORKED IN HIS LAWFIRM.  THEN OBVIOUSLY THIS MAN MUST KNOW ME.  ASK HIM TO DESCRIBE MY HEIGHT, AGE, AND LAW CERTIFICATE NUMBER.  ASK HIM WHAT LAW SCHOOL I WENT TO.  SURELY HE MUST KNOW IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH.  I AM SURE THAT HE CANNOT DO THIS, AND THUS YOU WILL QUICKLY SEE HE IS A FRAUD AND A LIAR. 

 

I HAVE MUCH MONEY TO GIVE AND LITTLE TIME LEFT ON THIS EARTH.  I WANT TO GIVE YOU THIS $251 MILLION US AMERICAN DOLLARS TO HELP PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEEDS.  READ MY FIRST EMAIL, I WANT CHILDREN AND WIDOWS TO PROSPER.  THIS MAN WANTS TO USE THE MONEY HE HAS ON HIMSELF.  I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU ALL OF IT, 100% OF THE FUNDS TO BE USED BY YOU.  THIS WILL SHOW MY INTEGRITY AND GOODWILL. 

 

THIS MAN WANTS TO KEEP MONEY FOR HIMSELF, HE IS NOT A GOOD MAN. 

 

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD DEAL WITH THIS MAN.  ASK HIM THESE QUESTIONS AND TELL HIM TO DESCRIBE ME.  WE WILL BOTH WATCH HIM FAIL.  AS THE BIBLE SAYS, GOOD WILL OVERCOME EVIL.  ASK HIM THESE QUESTIONS AND HE WILL SCURRY AWAY LIKE THE DIRTY DOG HE IS.  THE RIGHTEOUS WILL PREVAIL. 

 

I DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME TO LIVE AND I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO RECEIVE THESE FUNDS.  I PRAYED FOR WHAT TO DO WITH MY MONEY AND I WAS INSPIRED TO CONTACT YOU.  PLEASE DO NOT FAIL A DYING MAN. 

 

I WILL PRAY THAT THIS MAN TURNS FROM HIS WICKED WAYS.

 

BARRISTER MUBAMBA

 

Sounds like something a Mugu would write doesn’t it!  Let’s turn up the heat to get him to come up with something.  The next day I write…

 

Subject:        Surprised    

 

I am very surprised and disappointed that I have not heard from you today.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT BE DECEIVED. (BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Dear Sir,

 

HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, IS ILL. HOW CAN AN ILL PERSON WITH CANCER WRITE YOU EMAILS REGULARLY. IN THE WORLD TODAY WE ALL KNOW THE INTENSITY OF CANCER AS A DEADLY DISEASE. PLEASE DO NOT BE DECEIVED BY THIS FOOLISH CRIMINAL.

 

I HAD NOT RESPONDED EARLY ENOUGH BECAUSE I HAD TO REPORT THIS CASE TO THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, THIS MORNING AND THEY HAVE STARTED INTENSIVE INVESTIGATIONS. PROBABLY THEY WILL TELL YOU MORE OF BARRISTER MUBAMBA'S CRIMES SO FAR.

 

AS YOUR LEGAL ATTORNEY IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I AM IN POSITION TO ENLIGTHEN YOU ON SO MANY THINGS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT FALL A VICTIM TO THIS CRIMINAL BECAUSE I WAS ONCE VICTIMISED BY HIM JUST LIKE I EXPLAINED TO YOU IN   MY LAST LETTER.

 

DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM AN ATTORNEY, I AM ALSO A DEACON IN MY CHURCH SO I DO ALL THINGS IN THE RIGHT WAY. HOW CAN SOMEONE WRITE YOU EMAILS AND TELL YOU THAT HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU THE SUM OF US$251 MILLION, MY DEAR THIS IS VERY VERY IMPOSSIBLE AND I MUST PROOF IT TO YOU NOW.

 

HOW CAN A REAL ATTORNEY QUOTE A WRONG LAW IN AN EMAIL "THESE CREDENTIALS CANNOT BE

REINSTATED UNDER THE NIGERIAN FEDERAL LAW OF 1967 SECTION 48 AND THE REGULATORY ACT OF 1978 ARTICLE 19". THIS LAW IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG AS IT IS NON-EXISTING.

 

I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH AND I WILL LIVE AND DIE FOR TRUTH BECAUSE ON MY APPOINTMENT AS AN ATTORNEY I SWORE AN OATH TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND ALSO TO UPHOLD THE LAW AND FIRM JUSTICE WITH EVEN THE LAST DROP OF MY BLOOD.

 

KINDLY COMPARE THE USE OF ENGLISH OF THIS FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA AND YOU WILL SEE CLEARLY THAT NO INTELLIGENT ATTORNEY WILL EVER WRITE SUCH WEAK EMAILS NOR LETTERS BECAUSE ANY REAL ATTORNEY SHOULD BE LITERATE TO PERFECTION.

 

FOR YOUR OWN INFORMATION, NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT FROM THIS FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA BECAUSE HE IS JUST A PETTY THIEF.

 

HERE IN AFRICA, WE HAVE ALOT OF POOR PEOPLE WHOM REALLY NEED HELP FROM VARIOUS CORNERS OF LIFE SO WHY MUST THIS PERSON TRY TO DECEIVE YOU BY TELLING YOU THAT HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE ALL HIS FUNDS WHICH ARE EVEN NON-EXISTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

IF YOU EVER MAKE ANY PAYMENT TO BARRISTER MUBAMBA, YOU WILL STILL COME BACK TO ME AND TELL ME THAT YOU WERE EVENTUALLY DECEIVED AND FRAUDED BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD CAN EVER COME OUT OF THIS CRIMINAL.

 

I WROTE THIS LETTER WITH TEARS IN MY HEART BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO RUIN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WHICH IS ALMOST CONCLUDED.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

Wow….get I an email from the Fake Nigerian Police Force.  I like the Free Yahoo Account they are contacting me with, Real Official!  The writing style is very apparent and easy to see who wrote this, or by “Whom”.

 

From:  "maurice mandela"  mauricetriax@yahoo.co.uk

Subject:           THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)       

 

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Madam,  (WHAT?)

 

INTRODUCTION IS ALWAYS NECCESSARY ON A FIRST CONTACT LIKE THIS. I AM CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA, THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

I AM CONTACTING YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) WITH FAITH AND EVIDENCE TO PROOF THAT YOU WERE CONTACTED BY A WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT HERE IN NIGERIA.

 

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) BY THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN CONTACTED BY A WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT NAME (USMAN BELLO). THIS MAN HAVE ACTUALLY COMMITTED SEVERAL FRAUD ON VARIOUS UNLUCKY FOREIGNERS. THE ABOVEMENTIONED NAME IS THE REAL NAME OF THE FRAUDULENT BARRISTER MUBAMBA (That’s funny!). ALSO THIS MAN HAVE DEPRIVED ALOT OF BENEFICIARIES THEIR RIGHTFUL INHERITANCE BECAUSE HE PEPERTRATES TO BE AN ATTORNEY WHICH HE IS NOT.

 

WE IN THIS BUREAU, IS OFFICIALLY CONTACTING YOU (MR JOE CZARFUNEE) BECAUSE YOU ARE THE KNOWN NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA, AND WE WILL NOT WANT YOU TO FALL A VICTIM TO THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT. THIS MAN HAVE FRAUDED SEVERAL FOREIGNERS AND HE IS A WANTED CRIMINAL AS WE ARE VIVIDLY WORKING HARD TO APPREHEND HIM IMMEDIATELY.

 

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE IS VERY MUCH CONCERNED BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE LOOTED BY THIS CRIMINAL.

 

THIS MORNING YOUR ATTORNEY (BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH) CAME HERE TO GIVE US A REPORT OF THE FRAUDULENT ATTEMPT OF THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT. YOUR INHERITANCE FUNDS ARE QUITE HUGE AND WE DO NOT WANT ANYONE TO DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR INHERITANCE RIGHTS.

 

WE HAVE ATTACHED THE PICTURE OF TWO FOREIGNERS THAT WERE VICTIMISED BY THE WANTED CRIMINAL, AS THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN IN JUNE 6TH 2004, WHEN THESE FOREIGNERS CAME DOWN TO NIGERIA TO LAY THEIR CLAIM. THE TWO FOREIGNERS WERE DRESSED IN WHITE SHIRTS WHILE I, THE INSPECTOR GENERAL WAS DRESSED IN A DARK SUITE AND THE GOVERNOR OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA WAS DRESSED IN A TRADITIONAL ATTIRE WITH A RED CAP.

  

KINDLY VIEW THIS PICTURE, AND ALSO STAY CLEAR FROM THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT BECAUSE WE HAVE FORWARDED HIS INFORMATIONS TO THE INTERPOL (International Police), SO WE WILL NOT BE HAPPY IF WE FIND OUT THAT YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH THIS CRIMINAL. 

  

WE SHALL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON OUR DAILY INVESTIGATIONS.........(Good, that should be entertaining!)

 

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

  

 

Looks like a magazine advertisement.  Those two foreigners look really victimized. 

 

Subject:        Re: THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee) 

To:      "maurice mandela" <mauricetriax@yahoo.co.uk> 

 

Thank you for contacting me.  I am glad that you are taking this matter seriously.  Barrister Mubamba is in contact with me.  I want you to know that he contacted me.  I did not contact him first.  Is there a reward out for this person?  How do you know that you have the right person?  This is very important to me because I do not want you to bother an innocent person, especially someone in poor health.  Please keep up to date with your investigation.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

 

Subject:        Re: FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT BE DECEIVED. (BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH) 

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" <marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca>      

 

I really do want to finish this transaction very soon.  I just want to make sure who am I dealing with and my money will not be taken.  I am sure that you understand this.  I have read your email multiple times. 

 

I do not know why you did not answer Mubamba’s questions!  You say that he used to work for you, so you must know him.  What is he like?  How old is he?  Can you answer these questions?  I did not like the fact that you were making fun of a dying man’s English.  Also you are making fun of someone that you know, I do not think that was professional of you at all.

 

I am shocked that you did not deny having your license revoked.  I would think that would be one of the first things you would deny as being false, yet you did not mention it at all.

 

I like Mubamba’s idea of the photograph with a sign of your law firm.  If you cannot produce that, then you are not telling me the truth.  If you can, and since we have worked together for so long, I will believe who you are.

 

I was contacted by the Nigerian Police Department.  I do not know if I can tell you what they said.

 

Here is what Mubamba sent me today.

 

>Forwarded Message

 

Mr. Joe Czarfunee,

 

Did that so called lawyer answer those questions describing me?  I know that he cannot do that because he his lying to you.  I will send you a photograph of me in my special hospital room.  It has a computer in it as you can see.  I use the computer as often as I can because I have no family to share my time with.  When I am not taking medicine and praying, I use the computer.  You can see what I look like and see if that fake lawyer can describe me.  He will fail.

 

Did that fake lawyer send you a picture of himself?  Ask him to send you a photograph of himself outside his law office.  Tell him that you want to see him next to the sign for his law office.  He is not a lawyer, he does not have a law firm, and cannot do this.  This should be the final proof to you that he is a fraud.

 

I made this $251 million dollars working in the Nigerian Petroleum Industry.  I was the prominent attorney and bought much stock in it over the decades.  The higher worldwide oil prices have made me a rich man.  Please share a photograph of you and your family.

 

Barrister Mubamba

 

 

From:  "maurice mandela" <mauricetriax@yahoo.co.uk>  Add to Address Book

Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.co.uk. Learn more         

Subject:          THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)  

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL TODAY THE 28TH OF JUNE 2005, AND THIS BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WILL STILL LIKE TO ENLIGHTEN YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE), THAT THE WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT IS ONLY DISGUISING HIMSELF TO BE ILL INOTHER TO BUY YOUR PROMPT ATTENTION, SO BE WISE.

 

TODAY WE CONTACTED YOU BECAUSE WE JUST RECEIVED SIGNAL FROM THE INTERPOL (International Police) AND THEY HAVE ALSO STARTED SEVERE INVESTIGATIONS ON THIS MATTER INOTHER TO APPREHEND THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT WHERE EVER HE IS.

 

WE ALSO INFORMED YOU EARLIER TO KINDLY GIVE US ANY VALUABLE INFORMATIONS WHICH YOU HAVE ABOUT THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SO THAT WE CAN ARREST HIM, BUT WE NEVER GOT ANY FROM YOU.

 

OUR INTERNET MONITORING UNIT (I.M.U) HAVE STARTED INVESTIGATIONS INOTHER TO TRACE THE ISP and the LAN (Local Network Area), WHERE THIS WANTED MAN SENDS EMAILS FROM. WITH THAT WE SHALL TRACK HIM DOWN WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.

 

THE RAPID RESPONSE SQUAD (R.R.S) HAVE ALSO SENT OFFICIAL WARNING TO ALL LOCAL/INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTS HERE IN NIGERIA, SO THAT THIS WANTED CRIMINAL WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TRAVEL OUT OF SIGHT.

 

THIS BUREAU WILL DEFINATELY FASCINATE YOU AFTER ALL.  (Yes, Very Much)

 

WE SHALL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON OUR DAILY INVESTIGATIONS.........

  

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

  

Subject:          IF YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. (BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH) 

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 28TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME IS QUITE RIDICULOUS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY BEGINNING TO HEED TO THE UN-USEFUL CONTENTS OF THE EMAILS FROM THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA.

 

TODAY, I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT MY LEGAL CERTIFICATE AND CREDENTIALS ARE VERY MUCH IN ORDER AS THEY WERE NEVER REVOKED AT ALL. THIS CRIMINAL IS JUST TRYING TO DECEIVE YOU SO THAT YOU WILL EVENTUALLY SEND HIM SOME MONEY.

 

I PERSONALLY ASSURE YOU THAT HE WILL DEFINATELY DEMAND SOME MONEY FROM YOU WITHIN THIS WEEK. I CAN EQUALLY BET ON THIS.

 

WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THE COST OF TRANSFER OF FUNDS WHICH ARE EVENTUALLY FALSE AND NON-EXISTING. MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, YOU WILL HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL SO THAT YOU WILL NOT MAKE ANY MISTAKES.

 

THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, CAN NEVER GIVE YOU HIS REAL IDENTITY BECAUSE HE IS A WANTED FRAUDSTER. I ASSURE YOU THAT ALL HIS INDENTIFICATIONS ARE FAKE AND NON-EXISTING. THE PICTURE WHICH HE MUST HAVE SENT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HACKED FROM THE INTERNET, PROBABLY FROM THE BBC NEWS WEBSITE, OF DRASTIC EVENTS WHICH HAPPENED SOMETIME AGO HERE IN AFRICA.

 

THESE FRAUSTERS UITILIZE SUCH GORY PICTURES TO BUY THE HEARTS OF FOREIGNERS AND HAVE THEM SCAMMED. I TELL YOU ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE I AM AN ATTORNEY AND I HAVE HANDLED SEVERAL FRAUD CASES HERE IN NIGERIA.  (I am sure that you personally scammed before)

 

THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, IS ACTUALLY OF A MIDDLE HEIGHT, TAN SKINNED AND ALSO HE SHOULD BE AT THE AGE OF 38, HE STUDIED LAW AT THE LAW SCHOOL IN IKEJA, LAGOS AND NOT EVEN AT THE FEDERAL LAW SCHOOL, ABUJA (The Federal Capital Territory) WERE I STUDIED LAW AND GRADUATED IN 1980/1981.

 

IN THIS LETTER, I ENCLOSED MY PROFESSIONAL PICTURE TAKEN IN MY FULL LAW REGALLIA. AS AN ATTORNEY I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO SEND OUT SUCH PICTURES AS THIS IS AGAINST THE ETHICS BINDING THE ASSOCIATION OF THE SENIOR ATTORNEY OF NIGERIA (A.S.A.N). I ACTUALLY SENT YOU THIS PICTURE SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM NOT JUST A MERE ATTORNEY HERE BUT A SENIOR ADVOCATE.

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I WORK WITH INTERGRITY, FACTS AND PROOFS, HERE IS THE CONTACT WEBSITE OF THE HOLDING BANK  (ECOBANK)(www.ecobank.com).IF THIS PARTICULAR BANK WAS NOT WELL ESTABLISHED, MY LATE CLIENT WOULDN'T HAVE DEPOSITTED HIS FUNDS WITH THEM FOR SAFE KEEPING.

 

IF YOU STILL CONTACT THIS CRIMINAL, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME BECAUSE HE ONLY WANTS TO LOOT YOU OF YOUR MONEY.

 

TAKE NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

Standard Mugu picture of an attorney.  Its Chief Anthony Idigbe in Nigeria.  I’ll use this against him later.

 

I want to keep him on the defensive so I come up with…

 

Thank you for contacting me again.  I am forwarding this email to you that I got today from Barrister Mubamba.  Do you have a police ID card or documentation?  I demand to see your credentials.  Am I really talking to the police?

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

>Forwarded Message

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE

 

THESE ARE NOT POLICE FORCES AT ALL THAT ARE IN CONTACT WITH YOU.  THEY ARE PART OF THE NIGERIAN MAFIA AND THEY ARE TRYING TO STEAL MY MONEY. THEY WERE TRYING TO STEAL YOUR MONEY, THEN THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT MY MONEY, $251 MILLION AMERICAN AND THEY ARE TRYING TO STEAL IT FROM ME.  THEY KNOW THAT I AM IN A HOSPITAL BED AND WANT TO FIND WHERE I AM.  I AM A DYING MAN AND CANNOT DEFEND MYSELF.  THIS IS WHY THEY ARE ASKING YOU ABOUT ME.  DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THEM.  THEY WANT TO TAKE MY MONEY $251 MILLION AND USE IT TO FUND REBEL GROUPS TO OVERTHROW THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT AND MAKE IT A CRIMINAL STATE.  THIS FAKE LAWYER IS THE LEADER OF THIS GROUP.  THEY CALL THEMSELVES THE “NIGERIAN LIBERATION GROUP” (NLG)

 

THEIR GOAL IS TO RUN NIGERIA AND MAKE IT AN INTERNATIONAL STATE FOR CRIMINALS.  IT IS A DEADLY GROUP THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH.  ASK THEM FOR THEIR POLICE IDENTITY.  THEY CANNOT DO THIS BECAUSE THEY ARE CRIMINALS.

 

REMEMBER MY WARNINGS TO YOU,

 

BARRISTER MUBAMBA

 

Let’s see if we can get this Mugu to make up some fake police documents.  I like wasting his time making documents that he can’t use again.

 

Subject:          WHAT IS THE POSITION IN THIS TRANSACTION....(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)          

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

DATE: 29TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

IN THE LIFE WE LIVE TODAY TRUTH IS ONE THING THAT I KNOW THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE FIND HARD TO LIVE WITH BUT I SINCERELY TELL THE TRUTH BECAUSE I KNOW THAT TRUTH IS THE MAIN SOURCE OF LIFE.  (Huh?  A long winded Fortune Cookie)

 

FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO THIS OFFICE, I AM MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE CONTACTED THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE. PLEASE WHAT DID THEY SAY. (You that know already!)

 

AT THIS POINT, I AM SO NERVOUS AS I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT WE SECURE THIS REQUIRED LEGAL DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME AND SUBMIT THEM ON YOUR BEHALF TO THE HOLDING BANK. (You want money.)

 

THE HOLDING BANK CALLED ME TODAY TO INFORM ME THAT THEY ARE STILL YET TO HEAR FROM YOU IN REGARDS TO THE LAST LETTER WHICH THEY HAD SENT TO YOU.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KINDLY WRITE TO THE HOLDING BANK AND TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULD EXERCISE PATIENCE ON US AS I YOUR PERSONAL ATTORNEY WILL BE SUBMITTING THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS TO THEM SOONEST.

 

HERE IS THE OFFICIAL EMAIL ADDRESS OF THE HOLDING BANK: (ecobankheadoffice@yahoo.com).  (the official Yahoo free email account address for the bank)

 

IN RESPECT TO THIS GREAT LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU FULL ASSURANCE THAT BARRISTER MUBAMBA IS A THIEF, SO STAY CLEAR FROM HIM.

 

TODAY I WILL LIKE YOU TO CALL ME SO THAT WE CAN DISCUSS BETTER AS MY FAMILY IS TOTALLY ON MY NECK DUE TO THE FACT THAT I CAN NOT EVEN CARTER FOR THEM ANY LONGER.

 

I STILL HAVE THE SUM OF US$20,000 WHICH I HIDE IN MY OFFICE SAFE, SO KINDLY SEND THE PAYMENT OF US$4,000 TO ME SO THAT I CAN SECURE ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

REMEMBER, THAT I HAD EARLIER INFORMED YOU THAT THE REQUIRE LEGAL DOCUMENTS WILL COST THE TOTAL SUM OF US$23,500, AND THIS IS WHY I SOLD MY PROPERTIES INOTHER TO RAISE THE SUM OF US$20,000 (what a great guy), SO PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME NOW THAT I AM AT THE EDGE.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

Subject:          THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee) 

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE HEREBY INFORM YOU (MR JOE CZARFUNEE) THAT WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE INCLUDING THE FORWARDED EMAIL FROM THE WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT WHOM IMPERSONATES AS BARRISTER MUBAMBA.

 

THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT IS CHARGED WITH FORGERY/IMPERSONATION OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OFFICES AND BANKS AS HE WILL DEFINATELY FACE A JAIL TERM OF ATLEAST 10YEARS.

 

TODAY THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, CALLED THE PAYING BANK (ECOBANK) INOTHER TO VERIFY IF YOUR INHERITANCE FUNDS ARE QUITE SAFE AND THEY CONFIRMED THAT IS STILL IN THE BANK ACCOUNT OF THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA, WHICH YOU ARE A BENEFICIARY TO.

 

AS THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, I WILL ADVISE THAT YOU HASTEN UP IN TAKING YOUR FUNDS FROM THE PAYING BANK, SO THAT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL NOT DELAY YOUR FUNDS. (duhh…why are you telling me this)

 

OUR INTERNET MONITORING UNIT (I.M.U) HAVE STARTED THOROUGH INVESTIGATIONS IN TRACING THE PARTICULAR ISP AND THE LAN ( Local Network Area) WHERE THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT SEND EMAILS FROM. WITH THIS WE SHALL DEFINATELY TRACK HIM DOWN.

 

KINDLY BE IN CONSONANCE WITH YOUR ATTORNEY AS HE IS THE REALLY INTELLIGENT AND EQUAL TO ALL LEGAL TASKS.

 

HERE IS MY OFFICIAL IDENTITY CARD (I.D), AS THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

 

WE SHALL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON OUR DAILY INVESTIGATIONS.........

 

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

 

The Date and Signature are reversed on this really bad computer fake. I wonder who had ID #001?   Would it be cool or tacky to be 007?  Humm….

 

Now some crappy email from the bank…

 

Subject:          ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC................ (Final Notice 29th Of June 2005) 

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

                               VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS NIGERIA.              RC:204500

                                EMAIL: ecobankheadoffice@yahoo.com

                                        

 

 

THE DIRECTOR,

INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT,                                                     

ECOBANK WEST AFRICA PLC.                      

VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS NIGERIA.               DATE: 29th Of June, 2005                 

TELE/FAX: (01-1)234-8029554788                                              

                            

 

From: EcoBank West Africa PLC

Subject:   FINAL  NOTIFICATION........

 

EcoBank West Africa PLC

........... Strengthened its commitment to its roots.

 

ATTN: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

Dear Sir,

 

REMMITANCE INSTRUCTION ON: (BILL NO: 243177ECOXX) HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (USD 100,000,000.00)/ NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

We in this Noble Bank "ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC" have chosen to contact you again today dated the 29th Of June 2005, because your Attorney (Barrister marc Hycinth) have informed us earlier that the required documents will be submitted to us soonest. You should really be very proud of your Attorney because he has been in good consonance with us for somewhile now.

 

In our last Letter to you we informed you on the Attempt to Confisticate your Inheritance Funds by The Central Bank Of Nigeria, but today we have extended your Dead-Line Mandate because of the Legal Fronting/assurance from your Attorney. (I had a feeling that would happen!)

 

I, The Director of this Bank have granted you this priviledge because of the relationship which I and the Late General Sani Abacha had. As his very good friend I owe him the last respect of making sure that His Legacy is Paid to his Next of Kin being you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee).  (A guy of a different ethnicity on the other side of the planet with a fake name that that knows all about the 419 scam is the next of kin…yeah OK, whatever!)

 

The Entire Board of Directors of this Bank hereby enligthen you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee) to kindly be in regular contact with us because we are always at your service as failure to Tender the earlier required Documents to us, will lead to The Termination of your Inheritance Bill Sum. (As long as I’m promising money and stringing you along I’m not worried about that!)

 

Be Warned! (oh….that does it, with that attitude I am going to continue ignoring the bank!)

 

Thank you for Banking Trust is us.............

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Dr. Alen Dorothe.

 

The Director Int'l Remmitance Dept.

 

Now my plan is to perk him up by promising more Cash.  He’s done a lot so far, so I want to keep this up!  I’m going to promise more money, but there is a catch!  I am going to treat Mubamba as the bad guy now, and cause all new troubles.  The problem is no money is going to be sent until Mubamba is in Jail! 

 

Now that is a serious problem for him to get around.  I don’t know how he is going to lock up a fictional person (being played by me) and convince me he has done it.   Of course he thinks Mubamba is a Mugu in Lagos.  I’m going to motivate him with some dollar signs.  Maybe he will try to make a deal with Mubamba since he has his email address.  He’s fun to torment!  I set him up and ham it up.

 

I am grateful that I have such a good attorney and friend as you.  I know that we have been through a lot together and great things await us.  (Here comes the setup to hook him) I was thinking, and I do not wish to offend you because I know that you have done a lot to get your $20,000.  I was thinking of splitting the amount between us, so you will pay half of the $23,500 required to release these funds and I will pay the other half.

 

So that way we both pay only $11,750.  That way you will save $8250 and that will help you on your personal expenses and upkeep.  It is just an idea.  I know that you are a proud and dedicated man, and wish to do as much on your own, but as your friend I want to help you and our business partnership.

 

Please give this great thought before answering me, I do not want you to make a fast decision.  (He is dancing around the internet cafe now)

 

I got a wonderful email from The Nigerian Police.  I am impressed that they are working so hard to capture this man.  He sent me his Identification, so I know he is who he says he is.  You cannot be too careful these days. (He is all smiles!)

 

I am thinking this Mubamba really is a dangerous man.  I feel so depressed now.  If he is a bad person, then I feel bad because I have been praying that he recovers and feels better.  I feel bad because I may have been tricked into praying for the health of a criminal.

 

I want to help capture this Mubamba.  Somehow I feel that he is after my money too.  I still do not know how he contacted me in the first place.  (Trouble is on its way)  I will not send any money to Nigeria until this Mubamba is in jail!  I just don’t have a good feeling about that place with such a man freely roaming around.  Especially I think he is part of that rebel group.  This is awful.  I am very upset about this.

 

The Nigerian Police are after him and should get him very soon.  I will continue to be in contact with them and see their progress.  I am sorry for the delay this may cause, but I remind you that I am willing to pay more for the securing of these funds. 

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)  

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE, IS PROUD TO INFORM YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) THAT THE RAPID RESPONSE SQUAD (R.R.S) STORMED THE HIDEOUT WHERE THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT HOUSE HIS WIFE (MRS. WILFRED), AND TODAY OUR SQUAD SUCCEEDED IN ARRESTING HER THIS MORNING AT ABOUT (10:00 am Standard Pacific Time).

 

SOME FEW DAYS AGO, WE ACTUALLY GOT A SOLID INFORMATION OF WHERE THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT HOUSE HIS WIFE.

 

AT THIS MOMENT SHE IS PRESENTLY UNDER SERIES OF QUESTIONING AND INTERROGATIONS IN THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS DEPARTMENT.

 

FROM THE PRESENT FACTS AND INFORMATIONS REVEALED, WE ARE MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE WIFE OF THIS WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT HELPS HIS HUSBAND IN LODGING THE MONEY WHICH HE GETS FROM FRAUD.  (if that’s all she is lodging that isn’t bad!)

 

SHE IS PRESENTLY IN TEARS AND FULL DISAPPOINTMENT TODAY BECAUSE SHE NEVER EXPECTED US TO APPREHEND HER SO EASILY.

 

WE ARE STILL QUESTIONING HER INOTHER TO GET MORE FACTS FROM HER, WHICH WILL DEFINATELY LEAD TO THE ARREST OF HER HUSBAND, WHOM IS THE WANTED PRIME SUSPECT.  

 

THIS MORNING WE HAD TO INVITE YOUR HIGHLY HONOURED ATTORNEY (BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH) OVER HERE TO INFORM HIM ON THIS DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AWARE. AS THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU SHOULD TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST IN MAKING SURE THAT YOU GET YOUR INHERITANCE FUNDS BECAUSE ALL BANKS ARE APPROACHING THE SECOND FISCAL QUATER.  (ahh…trying to motivate me huh with a nasty New Yorker Attitude…Quater!)

 

I GUESS THAT YOU ARE QUITE LUCKY TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY WHOM IS WELL REPUTATED AND WELL EXPERIENCED TO THE BEST OF YOUR INTEREST. (What kind of Inspector General Guesses?)  I  HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PRESENT ATTORNEY WAS THE PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO THE LATE EX-PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

 

WE SHALL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON OUR DAILY INVESTIGATIONS.........

 

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

 

Subject:          KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT TODAY....(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 30TH OF JUNE, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

AS A SENIOR ATTORNEY OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, I HOLD AN LLB DEGREE IN LAW. WITHOUT THIS DEGREE NO ATTORNEY HERE IN NIGERIA CAN BE A SENIOR ADVOCATE (S.A.N).

 

DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE BOTH HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I STILL BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH WENT THROUGH ALL THESE BECAUSE WE BOTH ARE DESTINED TO BE RICH FOR THE REST OF OURLIVES.  (Well I plan to keep my money)

 

I STRONGLY FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE IN CONCLUDING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WITH YOU AS MY PARTNER BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH ARE BLESSED.

 

ACCORDING TO THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, LAW OF INHERITANCE OF 1964 WHICH STATES THAT "A BENEFICIARY IS EXPECTED TO HASTEN UP ACTIONS TOWARDS HIS/HER INHERITANCE CLAIM WITH THE LEGAL AID OF HIS/HER ATTORNEY".  (Motivating me are you)

 

AS AN ATTORNEY OF MY STATUS, I PERSONALLY WORK IN ACCORDANCE TO LAW BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.

 

TO MY GREATEST SURPRISE TODAY, THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE HAVE ARRESTED THE WIFE OF THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA. I WAS CALLED OVER THE POLICE STATION TODAY BY THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF POLICE, TO WITNESS THIS AND I WAS REALLY ASTONISHED. SO YOU CAN NOW SEE THAT THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA INITIALLY LIED TO YOU THAT HE HAD NO WIFE  (No wife around?  I’m sure Mubamba is a happy guy!)

 

FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES GATHERED, I KNOW THAT THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE IS ONE OF THE MOST EFFICIENT IN THE WORLD AS THEY ARE VERY DIPLOMATIC WHEN IT COMES TO SEVERE CASES. 

 

REALLY WE HAVE DELAYED SO MUCH IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION AND THIS IS THE MORE REASON WHY WE SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT WE SECURE THESE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THE HOLDING BANK CAN EFFECT THE TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

I ACTUALLY TOLD MY WIFE TODAY THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION BY PAYING HALF OF THE REQUIRED SUM FOR THE LEGAL DOCUMENTS, AND SHE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD EXTEND HER GRATEFULNESS TO YOU FOR YOUR KIND HEART I hope she is willing to do more than that! , AS YOU WILL DEFINATELY BE REWARDED WITH GOODNESS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 

 

SINCE YOU HAVE DECIDED TO PAY HALF OF THE REQUIRED SUM WHICH IS US$11,750, I WILL PERSONALLY INSTRUCT THAT YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I CAN EQUALLY SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE REALLY TRIED BY STILL KEEPING THE MONEY WHICH I RAISED INTACT, I WILL NOT WANT TO SPEND ANY DIME OUT OF IT, SO PLEASE TRY AND SEND YOUR OWN PART OF THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT I CAN PROCEED IN SECURING THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS.

 

YOU CAN MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

 

KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT INSTALMENTALLY AS FOLLOWS:

 

TODAY, PAY THE SUM OF US$1,500 IN TWO PLACES AMOUNTING TO US$3,000, SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE REST LATER THIS SAME WAY BECAUSE HERE IN THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, WE HAVE A VERY STRONG MONETRY POLICY AND AS AN ATTORNEY I WILL NOT WANT TO GO CONTRARY TO IT.

 

SEND THE MONEY TODAY WITH THE BELOW INFORMATIONS:

 

RECEIVER'S NAME: EMEONYE OBINNA (my secretary).

LOCATION: LAGOS- NIGERIA.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I AWAIT YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATIONS IMMEDIATELY SO THAT WE CAN EQUALLY START-OFF IN SECURING ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL LEGALLY AUTHENTICATE YOU AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKETS, GAS STATIONS ETC.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL EVEN AS YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT BECAUSE WE HAVE ALOT OF JEOLOUS PEOPLE AROUND THIS ENTIRE WORLD WHOM DO NOT LIKE PROGRESS.

 

I go back to my old routine…completely ignoring him

 

 Subject:         I WONDER WHY I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU....(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)       

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 1ST OF JULY, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

FOLLOWING MY LETTER TO YOU YESTERDAY, I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU AND SO I AM PRESENTLY WORRIED AS THE HOLDING CALLED ME AGAIN TO NOTIFY ME THAT THIS FUNDS WILL BE TERMINATED IF WE DO NOT TENDER THE DOCUMENTS TO THEM SOONEST.  (I’m not worried about that….don’t you know that by now you stupid Mugu!)

 

I AM REALLY SCARED AS I DO NOT WANT US TO LOOSE THIS FUNDS BECAUSE IT REALLY MEANS ALOT TO WE BOTH AND OUR VARIOUS FAMILIES.

 

SINCERELY, I HAVE ALL MY HOPE ON THIS FUNDS BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY FAMILY AS THEIR NEEDS ARE REALLY PRESSING HARD ON ME.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I HAVE NOTHING WHICH I CAN HOLD ON TO AS I SOLD MY PROPERTIES FOR THE ASSURED SUCCEES OF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

KINDLY SEND THIS MONEY TODAY SO THAT WE CAN SECURE THESE LEAGL DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY.

 

PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS: MAKE YOUR PAYMENT IN WESTERN UNION AGENTS, SUPERMARKETS, GAS STATIONS ETC.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL EVEN AS YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT BECAUSE WE HAVE ALOT OF JEOLOUS PEOPLE AROUND THIS ENTIRE WORLD WHOM DO NOT LIKE PROGRESS.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Time to lay down the Law  (this is fun!)  Exactly as sent to him.

 

Review my prior emails.  I am NOT sending any money to Nigeria while this Mubamba is freely running around.  How many times can I say this?  I already had my money stolen from me once and I will not let that happen again.  Do you understand this?  If not, start over on this email until you get it. 

 

Did you read that over and over?  Is it clear?  Do you understand?  Read it again if you are not sure.  You can do it, start over to make sure that you got that I will not send money till that Mubamba is in Jail.  Is that so hard to understand?

 

This police inspector didn’t write me today like the said that he would.  He is not doing his job.  I am disappointed in him.  He writes to me saying that he is so happy because he caught some crying women that can’t tell him anything.  That is sad and ridiculous because he is really bad at his job.  He is telling me about this like he is proud of it, its sickening.

 

From that inspector I don’t want any excuses, no whining, I want to know only about Mubamba, nothing else….not meetings, no delays, no I’m doing this or that…I want Results!  Nothing less!

 

This inspector general isn’t good at all.  He is really lame at what he does.  If he was here I would fire him.  All he says is that he is arresting crying women and I should be proud of my attorney.  Complete FOOL!

 

Now I have Mubamba running around stealing and an inspector general capturing women and saying he is doing a good job.  I am not happy.  I AM NOT HAPPY AT ALL!

 

Your screwing around is angering me to the point I am ready to TERMINATE this IMMEDIATELY. 

 

And you, these criminals are running around and you are asking me for money?  I am pissed off at you.  I told you no money till these thieves are in Jail!  Did you read it?  Don’t you understand?  Didn’t that sink in?  Do you believe it?  You better! 

 

You are screwing around about telling me about gas stations and grocery stores.  Don’t you think I know that?  Huh?  Answer that. I know where the Western Union place is…what do I need, you to hold my hand and show me?   Where is the western union station?  I forgot because I am too stupid to know that.  I am glad you are here to remind me.   Which way should I walk...I am too stupid to know.  What do you think I am a little baby?  I promised you how much money and this is what you do!  Maybe I should not have offered half those funds.  I offered an additional $500 for you, now half the money, $11,750 in cash, and then I get this shit from you.   I am very disappointed in you.  You better get your friends moving and fast!

 

I am pissed off with you because you don’t read what I tell you.  Print it, Read it, have your wife read it to you over and over if you have to since you seem to be too stupid to get it.  And if you tell me you aren’t too Stupid that’s it….Bye…got it?

 

Oh and if you dare tell me this Inspector is good at his job or you are some high ranking whatever again and don’t need to listen to this or whatever, or if this pansy ass inspector says that you are so great without doing anything, this transaction will be terminated immediately without notice.

 

I am not screwing around.  I want results.  No excuses.  No telling me about grocery stores.  No arresting women.  You know what I want. 

 

You tell me excuses again or go crying about money, tell me about grocery stores, or go on saying your some senior whatever, or one mention about western union you will never hear from me again. 

 

AND IF THAT INSPECTOR LIES TO ME ABOUT ARRESTING MUBAMBA AND I STILL GET EMAILS FROM HIM, INSTANT TERMINATION.

 

You piss me off one more time....TERMINATION.  No Crying, No Apologizes, You tell me “sorry”, that’s it, bye.  You waste my time apologizing, termination.

 

I want this Mubamba in Jail.  Do you understand?  Don’t write me saying you understand because you better know that by now without having to tell me.  You better know that by now.  If I am lied to about Mubamba’s arrest, Instant Termination.

 

With Mubamba in Jail we will progress.  Don’t fail me. I am willing to send $11,750, but I am not screwing around one bit.  I’ll check my email again whenever I feel like it…your reply will determine if I write back or not.  I expect your email immediately upon receiving this. 

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE?????(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)       

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

Dear Sir,

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR MODE OF CONDUCT. WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE INSULTED ME IN THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME?

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I AM YOUR LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE MIS-CONDUCT FROM YOU AT ALL.  (OH YES YOU WILL!)

 

IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I HAVE TRUSTED IN YOU SO MUCH AND NOW I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS AT ALL, RATHER YOU JUST SEND ME EMAILS WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING ALL THE DELAYS THAT HAVE BEEN MADE IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION ALREADY.  (I have considered all the delays)

 

ACTUALLY, IT IS THE DUTY OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE TO APPREHEND THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, SO LETS WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE IS VERY MUCH COMPETENT AS HE HAS A WIDE NETWORK IN INVESTIGATIONS

 

FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I CAN NOW SEE CLEARLY THAT YOU JUST WANT TO DELAY THE INTERNATIONAL TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.  (No, I want to waste your time and torment you!)

 

KINDLY TAKE NOTE THAT WE BOTH ARE BLESSED AND SO WE DO NOT HAVE TO RUIN THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.

 

KINDLY CONSIDER ALL WHAT MY FEARS ARE SO THAT YOU CAN EQUALLY UNDERSTAND MY WORRIES.

 

LETS WAIT UNTIL WE HEAR FROM THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, TODAY...

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

  

And of course loads of BS from him, I mean the Police…

 

Subject:          THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)  

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE, HAVE TODAY SUCCEEDED IN ARRESTING THE WANTED FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, THIS MORNING AT ABOUT (8:00 am Standard Pacific Time). THIS CRIMINAL SUSPECT WAS ARRESTED IN A HOTEL BASED AT THE OUTSKIRT OF LAGOS. WE ACTUALLY STORMED HIS HIDEOUT WITH THE ENTIRE RAPID RESPONSE SQUAD (R.R.S). THIS CRIMINAL IS PLACED WITH CRIMINAL CHARGES OF FRAUD, FORGERY,IMPERSONATION AND VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHT.

 

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE IS YET TO APPREHEND THE RIGHT HAND MAN (COLLEAGUE) OF THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, BECAUSE WE DID NOT FIND HIM AT THIS SCENE THIS MORNING. THIS BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WILL LIKE TO INFOM YOU THAT RIGHT NOW THIS PERSON HAVE BEEN DULLY ANNOUNCED TO BE A WANTED CRIMINAL IN ALL MEDIA HOUSES HERE IN THIS STATE. AS TIME GOES ON THIS WANTED CRIMINAL MIGHT WANT TO WRITE YOU EMAILS CLAIMING TO BE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, INOTHER TO LOOT SOME MONEY FROM YOU, SO THAT HE CAN RUN OUT OF TOWN. SO KINDLY TAKE NOTE ON THIS ADVISE.

 

WE ACTUALLY GOT GOOD AND RELIABLE INFORMATIONS FROM HIS WIFE WHOM WE ARRESTED SOME DAYS AGO.

 

RIGHT NOW HE IS AT THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS DEPARTMENT, UNDERGOING SEVERE INVESTIGATIONS AND TORTURE. (Torture?)

 

WE ARE YET TO INFORM YOUR HONORABLE ATTORNEY ABOUT THIS GREAT NEWS BECAUSE WE CALLED HIS OFFICE THIS AFTERNOON AND HIS SECRETARY TOLD US THAT HE WENT FOR A COURT BRIEFING.

 

AT THIS POINT, THIS BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS WILL LIKE TO USE THIS MEDIUM AS A MEMORANDUM TO INFORM YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO CALL THIS DEPARTMENT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT WE CAN ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS ON THIS MATTER.

 

WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL TODAY AS YOUR CALL WILL BE MUCH APPRECIATED AS A SIGN OF DEDICATION TO OUR EFFORTS ON THIS CASE.

 

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

Wow, the Fake Me has been arrested!  So he’s lying to me when I told him not to.  I thought he would contact Mubamba and make a deal.  This Mugu talks tough, but does exactly what I tell him to do.

 

I fire back, lets getting him working on more fake, useless documents.

 

I do not like your tone at all.  If you don’t like mine, then too bad.  Live with it.  This police inspector claims to have arrested Mubamba.  He is lying to me.  I have proof of it.  He has one chance to convince me otherwise this deal will be terminated without notice. I need very strong evidence of this arrest.  He should be able to easily provide this: statements, photographs, press releases, copy of the arrest warrant, and all of that.  Otherwise I am going to be convinced he is lying to me.  If he can thoroughly convince me, we will complete this transaction immediately.  (gotta promise a reward for all his work)

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

To make his life even more miserable, lets bring Toby back into the picture.  Toby should be useful later when things slow down.

 

To:      "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH"

 

Why havnt you writen to me?  I want you to do what I said.  I gonna make trouble if you dont listen to me.

 

Toby

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Dear Sir,

 

I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL AND THE CONTENT WAS WELL UNDERSTOOD.TODAY, I ALSO RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MR.TOBY, STATING THAT I SHOULD WRITE YOU OFF, IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION SO THAT I AND HIM CAN CARRY ON WITH THIS BUSINESS. I TELL YOU THIS TODAY SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT MR. TOBY IS. INFACT HE IS GREEDY, STUPID AND CRIMINAL MINDED.  (Talking about yourself huh!)

 

TODAY, I WAS AT THE POLICE STATION, UNDERGOING SOME INTERROGATION BY THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, AS HE SUMMONED MY PRESENCE THIS MORNING.

 

TODAY THE 4TH OF JULY, I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE THAT THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA WAS ACTUALLY ARRESTED BY THE NIGERIA POLICE. SINCE I AM YOUR STANDING LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL WANT YOU TO CONFIDE IN ME BECAUSE I AM HERE TO LEGALLY ACT IN YOUR FAVOUR AS YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT. FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I AM MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DO NOT REALLY BELIEVE THAT THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, WAS ACTUALLY ARRESTED. MY DEAR THIS IS 100% TRUE.

 

SINCE YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA HAVE BEEN ARRESTED, YOU CAN EQUALLY SEEK AN EVIDENCE OF PROOF FROM THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLCE FORCE.

 

YOUR FURTHER DELAYS IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION WILL NOT BE NECCESSARY AT ALL.....(OH MUGU, THEY ARE VERY NECESSARY!)

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL.

 

 BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

OK, lets give him more reassurance and get him moving. 

 

I am glad to hear from you.  I am sure that you understand why I want to make sure this Mubamba is really in Jail.  When I think of Mubamba I think of Toby.  I had $4000 stolen from me here, and I want to make sure that my money isn’t stolen by this other thief.  I want to make sure this thief is in jail.

 

My wife has been on me about that $4000 so I have been not too happy lately.  I have kept it all very secret.  She is going away to her fat, nasty, loud mother for a few days.  That is good!  I am happy now.  After I know this Mubamba is in Jail, we will conclude this transaction before my wife gets back from that awful mother of hers.

 

I will contact the Inspector with my concerns.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

 

Inspector,

 

Thank you for doing all that you have.  I wish to have some evidence of this arrest.  Please provide me with all the information you have.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          WE BOTH HAVE A LIMITED TIME TO CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS.....(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Dear Sir,

 

HONESTLY, I UNDERSTAND YOUR WORRIES BUT I WILL ALSO WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE HOLDING BANK IS A VERY BUSY BANK AND THEY WILL NOT WANT FURTHER DELAYS FROM US BECAUSE WE HAVE ALREADY WASTED ALOT OF TIME IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

THIS MORNING MY TIME, THE DIRECTOR OF THE HOLDING BANK CALLED ME TO INFORM ME THAT WE BOTH HAVE JUST 5WORKING DAYS TO PROVIDE TO THEM REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO THEM, SO THAT THEY CAN EFFECT THE FINAL RELEASE TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN THE STATES.  (5 Days?....I don't think so)

 

AS AN ATTORNEY, I KNOW THAT ALL BANKS HERE IN THIS COUNTRY OFFICIALLY OPERATE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, WHICH IS THE MOTHER BANK OF ALL BANKS HERE IN THIS COUNTRY. IN ESSENCE, ALL FUNDS WHICH ARE USED FOR ALL BANKING TRANSACTIONS ARE BEING PROVIDED, CHECKED-MATED AND CONTROLLED BY THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, BEING THE ISSUEING HOUSE OF MONEY IN THIS COUNTRY.

 

IF WE BOTH DO NOT COMPLY TO THE HOLDING BANK BY SECURING AND SUBMITTING THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO THEM, THE FUNDS OF MY LATE CLIENT MIGHT BE SENT BACK TO THE CENTRAL BANK TREASURY, WHICH WILL LEAD TO THE TERMINATION OF THIS FUNDS.

 

YOU AND I, REALLY KNOW HOW MUCH THIS FUNDS MEANS TO OURLIVES.

 

FOR THE FACT THAT WE BOTH ARE DESTINED TO BE RICH AS WE ARE ALSO BLESSED, WE WILL HAVE TO JOIN HANDS TOGETHER AND MAKE SURE THAT WE EQUALLY CO-OPERATE INOTHER TO CONCLUDE THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, SO THAT THE SKY WILL BE OUR LIMIT.

 

MY DEAR, I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE MONEY WHICH I HAVE ALREADY SUFFERED TO RAISE BECAUSE I PRESENTLY HAVE ALOT PRESSING NEEDS FROM MY FAMILY, SO PLEASE LET US SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY NOW THAT MY OWN MONEY IS STILL INTACT.

 

I AWAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU POSITIVELY ON THE REQUIRED PAYMENT.

 

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

 

YOUR FURTHER DELAYS IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION WILL NOT BE NECCESSARY AT ALL.....

 

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

 

Subject:          THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)  

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

TODAY THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE, WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU (MR. CZARFUNEE) THAT WE ARE IN FULL RECEIPT OF YOUR REQUEST AND DEFINATELY WE SHALL GRANT THAT REQUEST TO YOU SOONEST.

 

SINCE THE ACTUAL DATE OF THE APPREHENSION OF THE WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT WITH THE IMPERSONATED NAME BARRISTER MUBAMBA, WE IN THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY IN TRYING TO GET MORE FACTS TO THE FINAL ARREST OF THE LAST WANTED CRIMINAL SUSPECT, WHOM IS THE COLLEAGUE OF THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA.

 

WE WILL SEND YOU EVIDENCE OF HIS ARREST AS SOON AS MY OFFICE RECEPTIONIST HAVE THEM SCANNED AS THEY WILL BE SENT TO YOU VIA EMAIL ATTACHEMENT.  (He needs time to make up something)

  

EXPECT TO HEAR FROM US SOONEST............

 

YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

  

Now he should be wasting time making some ridiculous arrest documents. Only 5 days left for me to collect the money.  Seems he really wants to get this over with.  I have a sneaky suspicion this is going to take more than 5 days.  I start off things the right way, I completely ignore him. 

 

“Day 2 and 3”:  Haven’t heard from him.  I don’t care….he is the one that should be sweating.

 

Day 4:

 

Subject:        HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE POLICE..(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)         

To:      "Joe Czarfunee" < >         

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 6TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

SINCE I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU, I HAVE BEEN REALLY WORRIED BECAUSE AT THIS POINT WE BOTH ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN REGULAR CONTACT.

 

HOW IS YOUR WIFE AND YOUR FAMILY? I HOPE THEY ARE ALL FINE AS MINE ARE ALSO FINE TOO.

 

IF YOU LOOK CLEARLY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, YOU WILL SEE THAT WE BOTH ARE TRUELLY DESTINED TO SUCCESS.

 

DESPITE ALL THE ROUGH TIMES THAT WE BOTH HAVE GONE THROUGH, WE STILL STOOD FIRM AS ONE AND THIS IS THE MAJOR REASON WHY WE HAVE EXCELLED WITH FAITH.

 

I AM A MAN OF TRUTH, FAITH AND HONESTY, SO I BELIEVE THAT THE SUCCESS OF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION LYES IN THE HANDS OF BOTH OF US BECAUSE WE HAVE A VERY LIMITED TIME TO MEET UP WITH SECURING THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS.

 

THE HOLDING BANK WILL RELEASE THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, AS SOON AS WE TENDER THESE DOCUMENTS TO THEM.

 

SEND THE REQUIRED MONEY TO ME IMMEDIATELY YOU HEAR FROM THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED TO PROCUREMENT OF THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS.

 

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

 

N/B: MAKE THE PAYMENT OF US$3,000 first as earlier instructed.

 

FURTHER DELAYS IN THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION WILL NOT BE NECCESSARY AT ALL.....(Yes they are necessary)

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL, EVEN WHILE YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION AGENT.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

 

EcoBank West Africa PLC

........... Strengthened its commitment to its roots.

  

ATTN: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

Dear Sir,

 

REMMITANCE INSTRUCTION ON: (BILL NO: 243177ECOXX) HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (USD 100,000,000.00)/ NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

Notice is hereby given to you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee), today dated the 7th of July 2005, that the Executive Directors of this Noble Bank "ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC", will be having our Annual Board Meeting on the 12th Of July, 2005.

 

The Executive Directors are the Major Shareholders of a Bank.

 

The Annual Board Meeting which will hold on the abovementioned date, will mark the beginning of the Second Fiscal Quater of this Bank. The First Fiscal Quater of this Bank, commenced from January and the Second Fiscal Quater will continue from this Month July on.  (One quarter is ½ a year?  What?)

 

The Fiscal Quaters of a Bank is the Financial Calandar of a Bank as Analysis, Profit Accounting and Auditting is always Checked in all Fiscal Quaters of a Bank. All Banks have three Quaters in a year.  (No, No….a quarter is ¼…..so there are 4 quarters in one year…not 3 you idiot!)

 

This Official notice will serve as a Statutory memorandum to inform you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee), that you are required to tender the earlier required Documents to this Bank before the 12th of July 2005.

 

Failure to comply to this Mandate Deadline, then your Funds will be Terminated thereby being sent back to the Central Bank Treasury.

 

For the fact that your Late Relation (General Sani Abacha) (Sani or Sanni?  Get it right will you!!!) was a Highly  Esteemed Customer and also a dear friend, The Entire Executive Directors of this Noble Bank decided to issue you this Letter of Notice.

 

We will be expecting your Documents immediately, because it is our responsibilty to effect the Wire Transfer of your Inheritance Bill Sum of (US$100,000,000) into your Nominated Bank Account.

 

 Thank you for Banking Trust is us..........

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Dr. Alen Dorothe.

  

Subject:        THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE....(Mr. Joe Czarfunee)        

To:      "Joe Czarfunee" < >         

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE.

Plot 54 Alausa Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: (01-1)234-4367177

from the desk of the Inspector General

Private/Confidential

 

Dear Sir,

 

TODAY MY OFFICE RECEPTIONIST SUCCEEDED IN SCANNING THE STATMENT OF REPORT WHICH WAS HANDWRITTEN BY THE APPREHENDED CRIMINAL SUSPECT (THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA) AND ALSO WE ATTACHED A SCANNED COPY OF THE NEWSPAPER PUBLICATION WHICH WAS MADE BY THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE IN OUR LEADING NEWSPAPER (DAILY VANGUARD), INOTHER TO NOTIFY THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT WE SUCCESSFULLY CAUGHT THE LONG TIME CRIMINAL.

 

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NEWSPAPER PUBLICATION, YOU WILL SEE THE PICTURE OF THIS CRIMINAL. ALSO, WE WILL LIKE YOU TO CLEARLY READ THE STATEMENT WHICH HE ALSO WROTE BY HIMSELF HERE IN THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS DEPARTMENT.

 

KINDLY VIEW ALL THESE DOCUMENTS FOR YOUR PERSONAL KEEPS.

 

FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO THIS BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS, YOU SAID THAT YOU HAVE ALOT OF BUSINESS TO ATTEND THIS WEEK AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY WE SENT YOU ALL THESE DOCUMENTS TO ENLIGHTEN YOU MORE HENCE YOU ARE A BENEFICIARY.

 

WE ACTUALLY WANT TO PROTECT YOUR INNOCENCE. (Thank you!  And I want to expose your guilt)

 

FROM THE PRESENT INVESTIGATIONS WHICH WAS LEGALLY CARRIED OUT, WE FOUND OUT THAT THE COLLEAGUE OF THIS CRIMINAL WILL STILL WANT TO CONTACT YOU,  SINGLE HANDEDLY WITH THE EMAIL ADDRESS OF THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA, INOTHER TO DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR INHERITANCE BY LOOTING MONEY FROM YOU.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, YOU ARE ADVISED TO KINDLY INFORM US IF YOU ARE STILL CONTACTED WITH THE EMAIL ADDRESS OF THE FAKE BARRISTER MUBAMBA.

 

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, WILL TODAY TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE NO CAUSE TO WORRY BECAUSE I PERSONALLY WILL MAKE SURE THAT THIS CRIMINAL ROTS IN JAIL.

 

KINDLY HELP US TO THANK YOUR HONORABLE ATTORNEY FOR ALSO HELPING US WITH SOME CLUES ON THE SUCCESSFUL ARREST OF THIS LONG TIME CRIMINAL.

 

IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER PROBLEMS WE WILL LIKE YOU TO INFORM US FOR BETTER COUNSELLING....

 

 YOURS SINCERELY,

 

CHIEF JAMES MAURICE MANDELA.

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL,

NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (IGNPF).

 

 

I like all the errors….break failure….head-on collusion….and stop with the ‘whoms’!   Hey, that picture doesn’t look like me! 

 

 

 

I’m really happy with these 2 fakes of his!  I am glad he wasted all that time making them.  Of course I ignore him and his efforts.  I am not even going to acknowledge receiving these fakes!  And to put pressure on him and frustrate him, I send him a message from Mubamba and Toby! 

 

I like “May the Police Force Grant Me Pardon”.  How Stupid!  And that is where the title for this came from.

 

An email from Mubamba.

 

To:  "BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH" marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca

Subject:  go

 

u leave mi guy joe

i gona tell joe u scam

 

Now an email from Toby.  I sent it to the Mugu and cc Joe.  Don’t know where this is going to go….frustrate him and keep him on the defensive is the goal.

 

Barrister,

I am so glad to be doin business with you and you are no working with Joe.  I am glad that you got that $4000 and it helped you over there.  I am glad to be helping you very much.  I think it is funny all the names you called Joe.  I am glad that we are keeping all money for us.   No money for Joe.

 

Your Friend and business partner,

 

Brother Toby Williams

 

Cc:  joeczarfunee

 

He has so much into this he isn’t going to drop me.

 

Subject:          ALL HOPE WILL NEVER BE LOST..(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 8TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

  

THIS MORNING, I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM TOBY WILLIAMS, WHOM IS TRYING TO BLACK-MAIL ME BY LIEING TO YOU THAT I AND HIM HAVE A TRANSACTION.

 

FOR YOUR INFORMATION TOBY WILLIAMS, HAVE PLEADED TO ME SEVERAL TIMES INOTHER FOR ME TO WRITE YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) OFF THIS LEGAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, SO THAT HE (TOBY WILLIAMS) CAN DO THIS BUSINESS WITH ME. EARLIER I EVEN NOTIFIED YOU OF THIS, WHICH YOU CAN DEFINATELY NOT DENY.

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I AM WELL EXPERIENCED IN LAW, I CLEARLY KNOW THAT TOBY WILLIAMS IS NOTHING BUT A PETTY CRIMINAL.

 

I ALSO RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM THE BARRISTER MUBAMBA'S COLLEAGUE AND I HAVE FORWARDED IT TO THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE, AS THEY HAVE PROMISED ME THAT THEY MUST APPREHEND HIM SOONEST.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I WILL LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT REALLY IMPRESSED THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING

 

IT IS QUITE PAINFUL TO ME THAT YOU AND TOBY WILLIAMS HAVE TAKEN ALL MY TIME, IN THE SENSE THAT YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) HAVE BEEN DECEIVING ME THAT WE BOTH WILL CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION TOGETHER.

 

I WENT AS FAR AS SELLING PROPERTIES INOTHER TO RAISE MONEY WHICH WILL GLADLY ASSIST THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION FINANCIALLY. NOW MY FAMILY IS ON MY NECK BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER CARTER FOR THEM PROPERLY.

 

MY DEAR, I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER WITH SEVERE PAINS IN MY HEART BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE A MAN OF GOD CRY TODAY.

 

I AM AN OLD MAN AND I WILL NOT WANT ANYONE TO LET ME THINK HEAVILY AS THIS WILL NOT BE OF GOOD HEALTH TO ME AT ALL.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION AND THIS IS IT.

 

IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY SERIOUS IN CONCLUDING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION WITH ME, THEN NOW IS THE TIME FOR YOU TO PROOF IT.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, IF YOU WANT US TO CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, THEN SEND THE REQUIRED SUM IMMEDIATELY USING THE INFORMATIONS WHICH I HAD GIVEN TO YOU ASAP.

 

PLEASE, DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THE PAYMENT FOR THESE DOCUMENTS!!!  (Sorry, no payment to you, and you are going to continue to write to me!)

 

OK, he is only playing that he had enough with me to motivate me to send money and to make me feel bad.  That’s not happening.   I ignore him and write to, well him, at the fake bank for all those promised fake documents. 

 

We will have all payments in by July 12.  To complete this transaction, I need you to resend me the death certificate, certificate of deposit and statement of account.  Please resend these for my records.  I will send multiple payments to my lawyer when I receive this with the full amount to you by the deadline.  I am sorry for the delays in this transaction and thank you again for your patience.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

He writes to Toby!

 

TOBY WILLIAMS, NOW I CAN SEE THAT YOU WANT US TO DO THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION TOGETHER.

 

I YOU REALLY WANT US TO DO THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION NOW, BUT BEFORE WE CAN PROCEED ANY FURTHER, YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND ME THE BELOW INFORMATIONS.

 

1. OCCUPATION

 

2. AGE.

 

3. RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS/COUNTRY.

 

4. PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, YOU MUST HAVE TO CALL ME IMMEDIATELY IF NOT I WILL NOT RESPOND TO YOUR EMAILS. TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907 (just dial directly)

 

KINDLY TAKE NOTE OF THIS TODAY......

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH

 

What a thief, he doesn’t care who he steals from!

 

Subject:          ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC..... (Statutory Memorandum) 

Attn: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

We adequately received your stipulated email to this Noble Bank "ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC", in correspondence to our last Letter of Notification on your Mandate Deadline of 12th Of July, 2005.

 

Reviewing your request in your email to us, it is quite amazing that you demanded this Noble Bank to send you the same Documents which we the Entire Executive Directors of this Bank demanded earlier from you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee, ON THE 31st OF MAY, 2005) being the recognized Sole Beneficiary/Next of Kin to the Late General Sani Abacha.

 

Incase, you did not understand our very first Letter of Notification in regards to the Wire Transfer of your Inheritance Bill Sum, we have entailed below, the very first Letter which was sent to you by this Bank, so that you can read it over and understand our Basic requirements.

 

Kindly bear at the back of your mind that This Noble Bank can not proceed to the Release Transfer of your Inheritance Bill Sum until we receive the below listed Documents as stated in our First Letter to you.

 

Finally, we are not in position to know whatever it will take nor cost you and your Honorable Attorney to tender us these required Documents, as our Prompt Responsibility is to make sure that you definately receive your Inheritance Bill Sum Valued (US$100,000,000).

 

Thanks for your better understanding!!!!

 

CERTIFIED

By the Executive Directors.

 

 

Subject:          PLEASE HEED TO MY ADVISES FOR SUCCEESS IN THIS BUSINESS

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 9TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

I AM RESPONDING TO YOUR EMAIL TODAY BECAUSE YESTERDAY, I HAD RETURNED LATE FROM THE CHURCH WITH MY FAMILY AS WE ALL WENT TO PRAY TOGETHER.

 

I AM A VERY RELIGIOUS MAN AND I LIVE WITH FAITH AS A TRUE CHRISTIAN.  (Remember those Stealing and Lying Commandments?)

 

SINCE TOBY WILLIAMS THINKS THAT HE CAN TOY WITH ME, I WILL PERSONALLY DEAL WITH HIM THOROUGHLY WHEN I ARRIVE INTO YOUR COUNTRY BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SPARE HIM SO LEAVE ALL THAT TO ME.

 

HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE INSPECTOR GENERAL, IN REGARDS TO THE DOCUMENTS OF EVIDENCE WHICH YOU ASKED HIM FOR?  (I’m ignoring all your hard work!)

 

THIS MORNING MY TIME, I HAD TO GO FOR A CHECK-UP AT THE HOSPITAL AND MY DOCTOR SAID THAT MY B.P IS GREATLY INCREASING PROBABLY BECAUSE OF TENSION.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, I HAVE BEEN SO RESTLESS RECENTLY, BECAUSE I AM SO WORRIED AS I DO NOT WANT US TO LOOSE THIS FUNDS AS IT GREATLY MEANS ALOT TO THE BOTH OF US.

 

I AM SO SURPRISED THAT YOU HAVE MADE A VERY BIG MISTAKE BY ASKING THE HOLDING BANK TO GIVE YOU DOCUMENTS?

 

AS YOUR STANDING LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I AM SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU GUIDELINES ON WHAT TO TELL THE HOLDING BANK BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT ANY MISTAKES AT ALL.  (I want lots of mistakes!)

 

THE HOLDING BANK REQUESTED THAT WE WILL HAVE TO SUBMIT THESE DOCUMENTS TO THEM FIRST BEFORE THE TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND YOU KNOW THIS.

 

SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM.

STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT.

DEATH CERTIFICATE.

CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT.

 

I STILL HAVE THE ORIGINAL COPY OF THE STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT, SO WE WILL ONLY HAVE TO SECURE THE REST THREE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF. ALL THESE DOCUMENTS WILL BE SUBMITTED TO THE HOLDING BANK IMMEDIATELY I SECURE THEM FROM THE ISSUEING MINISTRIES, BECAUSE ONLY THESE DOCUMENTS WILL EFFECT THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

 

THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM WILL BE SECURED FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, AS IT COSTS THE SUM OF US$20,500,   THE DEATH CERTIFICATE WILL BE SECURED FROM THE DEATH/BIRTH REGISTRY AND CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT WILL  BE SECURED FROM THE NATIONAL CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE. THE DEATH CERTIFICATE AND THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT, COSTS THE SUM OF US$3,000.

 

THIS IS HOW I CAME-UP WITH THE TOTAL SUM OF US$23,500 only.

 

IN THIS LETTER, I ENCLOSED AN ATTACHED COPY OF THE STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT OF MY LATE CLIENT, AS AN EVIDENCE OF TRUE BENEFICIARY TO YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE). THIS IS THE ACCOUNT NUMBER OF THE FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT WHICH CONTAINS THIS FUNDS, (A/C NO: 10009000016459) AND THE PASSWORD TO THE ACCOUNT IS: (0-5873). KINDLY TAKE NOTE OF THIS BECAUSE THE HOLDING BANK WILL DEFINATELY REQUEST FOR THE ACCOUNT NO/PASSWORD, ON THE TRANSFER DATE.

 

IN RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER, KINDLY GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE FIRST PAYMENT OF US$3,000, SO THAT I CAN START SECURING THE DOCUMENTS BY MONDAY.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

I AWAIT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICIAL LETTER.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

He sends me that first fake bank statement, but in BMP format so it’s a 2 Meg file now.   Too lazy to make new documents huh!   I am pissed now with him.  Mugus don’t want me mad.  Fine then, I take out my vengeance!  I’ll going to send out the payment right way, but to only to his fake name!

 

Thank you for contacting me so swiftly.  I did receive what you sent me.  I will send out the first payment of $3000 USD to you Monday morning.  After dealing with Toby, I do not want to deal with anyone else but you.  Your secretary is probably a good person, but with so much riding on this lets not take any chances!  I will send the payment directly to you.  You understand.  I am sure that you can just drop by the western union place on your lunch hour to get these funds.

 

I will send you the numbers needed and there is something about a question and answer.  I’ll tell you that after the money is sent.  Once again please make sure my spelling is correct.

 

Recipient:  Marc Hycinth

Location:  Lagos Nigeria

 

You will have these funds Monday,

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Didn’t hear from him Sunday…no problem.  I have Toby write him on that business offer.  Toby is just going to annoy him more, while Joe is the big prize.

 

Here is information for you about me.  I need to know information from you.

 

1. OCCUPATION

Garbage Collector

 

2. AGE.

38

 

3. RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS/COUNTRY.

Toby Williams

99 Cent Onion Rings

McDonalds USA

 

4. PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER.

718-555-5383

 

How much money is involved here? If its only a few hundered bucks it might not be worth it.  I need a few thousand.  More is better.  Whats the deal with you?  I see you are in Africa.  I’ve seen it on TV.  Your not one of those guys running naked in the Jungle are ya?  Chasing elephants and antelopes with some tribe.   So how much money is in it for me?  I need details and we will go.  What do I have to do.  I’m not traveling to that shithole of a country of yours, so can we do this here?

 

Toby

 

Subject:          READ WELL (FROM BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)   

To:       "Toby Williams" <tobywilliams18@yahoo.com>  

 

I RECEIVED ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATIONS TODAY.

 

IN REVIEW TO THE CONTENT OF MY LAST LETTER TO YOU, I INFORMED YOU THAT WE BOTH WILL NOT PROCEED ON THIS BUSINESS UNTIL YOU CALL ME, SO THAT WE BOTH CAN DISCUSS.

 

ENTAILED BELOW IS MY TELEPHONE NUMBER, SO I EXPECT YOU TO CALL ME TODAY SO THAT I CAN EXPLAIN ALL THE DETAILS OF THIS BUSINESS TO YOU, AS THIS IS QUITE IMPORTANT.

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH Esq.

 

 

Subject:          HAVE YOU MADE THE PAYMENT TO ME?....(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)       

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 11TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

I AM RESPONDING TO YOUR EMAIL TODAY BECAUSE I WENT ON A COURT BRIEFING THROUGH THE WEEKEND.

 

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN THE BEST OF HEALTH.

 

THIS MORNING MY TIME, I RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL FROM THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF THE NIGERIA POLICE, AND SO HE INFORMED ME THAT THE ARRESTED (MUBAMBA) WILL BE APPEARING IN COURT TODAY, AS HIS CHARGES ARE QUITE PECULIAR.

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL DEFINATELY WANT YOU TO HEED TO MY ADVISES AND INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE I AM HERE TO PUT THINGS IN PLACE AS A LEGAL LUMINARY.

 

AS SOON AS I ARRIVE INTO YOUR COUNTRY, I MUST MAKE SURE THAT TOBY WILLIAMS FACES THE WRATH OF LAW, AND I MEAN EVERY BIT OF THIS. ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME BECAUSE I CAN HANDLE HIM MYSELF.

 

SINCE YOU PREFER TO MAKE THIS PAYMENTS DIRECTLY TO ME, YOU CAN SEND IT WITH MY NAME AS STATED BELOW:

 

RECEIVER'S NAME: MARC HYCINTH.

LOCATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA.

 

AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY, KINDLY SEND ME THE WESTERN UNION CONTROL NUMBER AND THE TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER, FOR IMMEDIATE CLEARANCE.

 

REMEMBER TO MAKE THE PAYMENTS IN TWO PLACES INTO THE BITS OF US$1,500-US$1,500.

 

AS SOON AS I RECEIVE THIS PAYMENT  TODAY, I WILL PROCEED TO START SECURING ALL NECCESSARY DOCUMENTS WHICH I WILL HAVE TO SUBMIT TO THE HOLDING BANK ON YOUR BEHALF.

 

NOTE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL FOR SECURITY REASONS.

 

I AWAIT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICIAL LETTER.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

I am surprised that it is OK to send to Marc Hyinth.  Oh well…Lets give him a new problem to explain.  My list of problems are endless.

 

I went to the western union office today.  I was going to send $1500 at two locations.  I went out of my way to do this today.  Since I was sending money to the African Continent, I had to fill in and sign a form at the western union office about some scam going on there.  Basically large amounts of money are promised but no money is delivered.  Have you heard of this?  I am very troubled now.  I am not filling out that form until I find out more about this.  What are your thoughts?

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Toby writes him in a very bad tone…just to tick him off more.

 

Hey %@##%,

 

Can't you read?  What are you, one of those monkeys in the trees over there?  You got my number, call me.  How much money is in it?  You didn't bother answering any of my questions like the dirty ass whore that you seem to be.  Why should I waste my time dealing with you if it isn't much money.

 

You want to deal with me, wipe off your dirty ass and call me.  I expect to hear from you right away, otherwise shove your head up your dirty ass.

 

Toby

  

Subject:          GO TO ANOTHER WESTERN UNION AGENT...(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

DATE: 12TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL ACTUALLY MADE ME VERY ASTONISHED BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THESE WESTERN UNION PEOPLE ARE SO JEALOUS.

 

WE BOTH HAVE ACTUALLY REACHED THE BRIDGE OF SUCCESS IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, AND THIS MEANS THAT YOU AND I, ARE REALLY BLESSED BY THE LORD.

 

WE BOTH HAVE STOOD THROUGH THE THICK AND THIN, SO NO ONE WILL EVER COME AT THIS POINT TO RUIN WHAT WE BOTH HAVE BEEN THROUGH.

 

SINCE THE DEATH OF MY LATE CLIENT, I HAVE REALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT SEEM TO LIKE PROGRESS AT ALL. I TELL YOU THIS TODAY BECAUSE WE BOTH HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, SO PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE TO RUIN THE SUCCESS AT THIS TIME.

 

IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, THERE ARE ALOT OF WESTERN UNION AGENT, SO KINDLY GO TO ANOTHER WESTERN UNION AGENT  AND MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY SO THAT I CAN PROCEED TO SECURE THESE DOCUMENTS AS TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE.

 

I WILL BE EXPECTING THE PAYMENT INFORMATIONS THIS MORNING YOUR TIME.

 

N/B: IN THE WORLD TODAY WE HAVE ALOT OF JEOLOUS PEOPLE WHOM DO NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE'S PROGRESS, SO BE WISE AND TAKE A BOLD STEP NOW.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

From:  "ecobankwestafrica ecobankwestafrica" <ecobankheadoffice@yahoo.com>  Add to Address Book           

Subject:          ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC..........(Final Notice)     

 

 

                               VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS NIGERIA.              RC:204500

                               EMAIL: ecobankheadoffice@yahoo.com

                                       

 

 

THE DIRECTOR,

INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT,                                                     

ECOBANK WEST AFRICA PLC.                       

VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS NIGERIA.      DATE: 12th Of July, 2005                 

TELE/FAX: (01-1)234-8029554788                                              

                            

 

From: EcoBank West Africa PLC

Subject:   FINAL NOTICE OF INHERITANCE PAYMENT........

 

 

 

EcoBank West Africa PLC

........... Strengthened its commitment to its roots.

 

 

 

ATTN: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

Dear Sir,

 

REMMITANCE INSTRUCTION ON: (BILL NO: 243177ECOXX) HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (USD 100,000,000.00)/ NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

Notice is hereby given to you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee) by this Noble Bank "ECOBANK WEST AFRICA PLC" that you have just today to tender to us the earlier required Documents, inother to Authenticate a Certified Wire Transfer of your Approved Inheritance Payment.

 

The Executive Directors of this Noble Bank, have decided to issue you this Final Notice dated today the 12th Of July 2005, because the Late General Sani Abacha was a highly esteemed customer to this Bank.

 

Failure to tender the required Documents to this Bank, will lead to the Termination of your Inheritance Bill Sum of (US$100,000,000).

 

The Entire Executive Directors hereby awaits your Documents today the 12th of July, 2005.

 

Mr. Joe Czarfunee, Kindly call for further Clearifications on your Inheritance Payment (01-1)234-8029554788.

 

NOTE: As a very busy Bank, we do not entertain delays so kindly follow our Modus Operandi.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Dr. Alen Dorothe.

 

The Director Int'l Remmitance Dept.

 

(Privacy Policy,terms,satisfaction and Banking Accuracy).

 

I went to another Western Union place today.  They had the same form to fill out.  You should have seen the knockers on the girl there.  She was telling me about a scam going on in Nigeria.  I pretended I was interested because I could stare, well you know where.  The scam is called 44 Double D, I mean a four one nine scam.  Have you heard of it?  Probably you haven’t because of the sagginess over there.  You know what I am talking about!  I got a date with that girl.  I am so happy.  I am seeing here tomorrow.

 

I am going to do research on it while a wait to hear from you.  Also, can this money be directly transferred from my bank to Eco Bank?  That might make things easier.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Lets see what he says…

 

Subject:          READ CAREFULLY TO THE BEST OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING...(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

DATE: 13TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGITIMATE, AND SO I SEE NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE ANY DOUBTS AT ALL. HONESTLY, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WHOM IS SCARED BECAUSE THIS BUSINESS INVOLVES MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS AND I DO NOT WANT ANYONE TO BETRAY ME ON IT.

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I AM REALLY SUPRISED BECAUSE YOU SOUND VERY RIDICULOUS. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE CONCLUSION OF THIS GREAT BUSINESS TRANSACTION AND THERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A GIRL YOU MET.  (That Dog Joe!)

 

I AM REALLY ANNOYED WITH YOUR UNSERIOUSNESS WITH THE CONCLUSION OF THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION BECAUSE I DO NOT EXPECT SUCH FROM YOU AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

 

YOU DEMAND THAT YOU WILL LIKE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT DIRECTLY FROM YOUR BANK ACCOUNT TO THE HOLDING BANK (ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC). THIS IS ABSOLUTELY A BAD DECISION BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT IS FOR THE PROCUREMENT OF THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL BE OFFICIALLY SECURED FROM THE FEDERAL MINISTRIES. THE DOCUMENTS WHICH THE HOLDING BANK DEMANDED FOR WILL LEGALLY AUTHENTICATE YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE), AS THE RIGHT NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT, THEREBY AUTHORIZING THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THIS FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN THE STATES, AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT. (I knew you wouldn’t like the bank transfer idea!)

 

IF YOU EVENTUALLY TELL THE HOLDING BANK THAT YOU WILL MAKE PAYMENT FOR THE DOCUMENTS TO THEM, THEN THEY WILL EVENTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT BENEFICIARY TO THIS FUNDS IN QUESTION. FOR THE FACT THAT YOU AND I, HAVE COME THIS FAR IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION DESPITE ALL OBSTACLES, THIS GREATLY MEANS THE YOU ARE I ARE ACTUALLY BLESSED, SO DO NOT RUIN NOR JEOPARDISE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

I HAVE BEEN SO WORRIED LATELY AND MY DOCTOR TOLD ME THIS MORNING THAT MY B.P WILL RISE SO HIGH IF I CONTINUE THIS WAY. I DO NOT WANT TO FALL SICK BECAUSE OF ALL WHAT IS PRESENTLY HAPPENING.  (All BS, but it sounds nice)

 

BEING THE LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL ADVISE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER BUT VIA BANK TRANSFER. SINCE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE PAYMENT OF US$11,750 only, I WILL HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BALANCE PAYMENT OF US$8,750 FOR THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AND US$3,000, FOR THE DEATH CERTIFICATE AND CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT.

 

MY DEAR, MY FAMILY IS REALLY ON MY NECK SO PLEASE LET'S DO OUR BEST AND CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED SO MUCH BY STILL KEEPING THE MONEY WHICH I RAISED INTACT.

 

TODAY, I WILL LIKE YOU TO WRITE TO THE HOLDING BANK AND TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULD EXERCISE PATIENCE WITH US AS YOUR ATTORNEY WILL SUBMIT ALL NECCESSARY DOCUMENTS TO THEM BEFORE FRIDAY THE 15TH OF JULY, 2005. MY DEAR YOU WILL HAVE TO WRITE TO THEM IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THEY WILL NOT TERMINATE THE TRANSFER OF OUR FUNDS. PLEASE I BEG YOU!

 

AT ABOUT 12:00 pm MY TIME, I HAD TO RUSH DOWN TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT TO TELL THEM TO ISSUE US AN ACCOUNT WHICH WE CAN MAKE PAYMENT-IN FOR THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM. SUCCESSFULLY, THEY ISSUED ME THEIR CORRESPONDING AFFILIATE BANK ACCOUNT AS STATED BELOW.

 

BANK NAME: HANG SENG BANK LTD.

ADDRESS:     83 DES VOEOX ROAD, CENTRAL HONG-    KONG.

SWIFT CODE: XXXXXXXXXXXXX

ACCOUNT NUMBER: XXXXXXXXX

ACCOUNT NAME: XXXXXXXXXXX

 

MAKE YOUR PAYMENT OF US$11,750 INTO THE ABOVE CORRESPONDING AFFILIATE BANK ACCOUNT OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT. PLEASE MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY SO THAT THE CHIEF JUDGE OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, CAN ISSUE US THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM WHICH WILL BE IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY TO MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS. I WILL MAKE THE BALANCE PAYMENT TO THEM IN LESS THAN NO TIME. HERE IS THE DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, SO YOU CAN EQUALLY CONFIRM ALL THIS FROM THEM TOO. TEL: +234-1-4367177.

 

KINDLY MAKE YOUR PAYMENT TODAY AND SEND YOUR PAYMENT RECEIPT (PAYMENT SLIP) TO ME VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT (Make sure it is clearly scanned), SO THAT I CAN ISSUE IT TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT INOTHER TO NOTIFY THEM THAT YOU HAVE MADE THE PART PAYMENT FOR THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM.

 

ALSO CALL THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THIS PAYMENT TODAY, BECAUSE THEY HAVE PROMISED ME THAT AS SOON WE MAKE THE PAYMENT TO THEIR PROVIDED FOREIGN ACCOUNT, THAT THEY WILL ISSUE THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM TO US IMMEDIATELY.

 

FURTHER DELAYS AND FLIMSY EXCUSES WILL NOT HELP US AT THIS POINT OF SUCCESS!!!!  (More Delays and Flimsy Excuses are on the way!)

 

N/B: IN THE WORLD TODAY WE HAVE ALOT OF JEOLOUS PEOPLE WHOM DO NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE'S PROGRESS, SO BE WISE AND TAKE A BOLD STEP NOW.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Well he wasted more time writing all that.  I contact that HK bank to investigate the account.  I send him this BS.

 

I have made the deposit to the bank.  Please inform your bank immediately of this transaction.  I did a direct payment from my Swiss Account for security purposes.  This is superior than that idiotic Western Union payment idea.  I cannot provide an immediate slip since it was done via a secure transaction.  Swiss accounts do not provide slips of paper due to and the lack of veracity of it just in case you were not aware of that simple fact.  I abandoned doing transactions any other way except via Swiss or my Cayman Islands accounts.  I am sure that you know what I am implying and agree with me.  The transaction should appear almost immediately at the account provided.  I sent only $11,750 USD.  This should satisfy the bank requirements and set the standard for final completion. 

 

I await your immediate confirmation.  When will these documents of your arrive?

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT DEMANDS FOR THE PAYMENT SLIP...(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)     

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

DATE: 14TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

I RECEIVED YOUR STIPULATED EMAIL TO ME TODAY AND I MUST COMMEND ON YOUR EFFORTS IN SEEING THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS CONCLUDED IN LESS THAN NO TIME.

 

FROM THE CONTENT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME, I AM MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE ACTUALLY MADE THE PAYMENT OF US$11,750 only, THROUGH YOUR SWISS ACCOUNT. THE FACT STILL REMAINS THAT THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, DEMANDS THAT YOU (MR. JOE CZARFUNEE) MUST HAVE TO PROVIDE YOUR EVIDENCE OF PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY (Payment Slip) SO THAT YOUR PAYMENT CAN BE CONFIRMED IMMEDIATELY. WITHOUT THE CONFIRMATION OF YOUR PAYMENT, THEY WILL NOT ISSUE US THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM. SO PLEASE TAKE NOTE!

 

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL, I INFORMED THE CHIEF JUDGE OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, THAT YOU HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT INTO THEIR CORRESPONDING AFFILIATE BANK ACCOUNT, AND THIS IS WHY THEY DEMAND THAT YOU MUST PROVIDE YOUR EVIDENCE OF PAYMENT INOTHER TO BE SURE THAT YOU ACTUALLY MADE THAT PAYMENT TRUELLY.

 

IT IS THE FULL AUTHORITY OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, TO ISSUE US THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM, AND THIS IS WHY THEY NEED TO BE CLEARIFIED ABOUT YOUR PAYMENT, BY YOU PROVIDING YOUR EVIDENCE OF PAYMENT (Payment Slip).

 

THE CHIEF JUDGE, FURTHER EXPLAINED THAT IN THE WORLD TODAY, ALL BANKS MUST PROVIDE THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH A PAYMENT SLIP WHENEVER ANY PAYMENT TRANSACTION IS MADE. THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE BECAUSE I ALSO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

 

IN MY LETTER TO YOU YESTERDAY, I GAVE YOU THE DIRECT PHONE NUMBER OF THE CHIEF JUDGE OF THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, SO YOU CAN EQUALLY CALL HIM TO VERIFY ALL WHAT I HAVE SAID IN THIS LETTER.

 

NOW THAT YOU HAVE ACTUALLY MADE THIS PAYMENT, I WILL WANT YOU TO GET THE PAYMENT SLIP SCANNED AND SENT TO ME VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT, SO THAT I CAN PERSONALLY TENDER IT TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT AND HAVE THIS SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM SECURED IN YOUR NAME AS THE TRUE NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT.

 

KINDLY SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP CLEARLY AND SEND IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY.

 

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THE CONTENT OF THIS LETTER.....

 

N/B: REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL AT ALL TIMES.

  

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

 

Subject:          ECOBANK WEST-AFRICA PLC.........(Promise Notification)   

                               EMAIL: ecobankheadoffice@yahoo.com

 

THE DIRECTOR,

INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT,                                                      

ECOBANK WEST AFRICA PLC.                      

VICTORIA ISLAND,LAGOS NIGERIA.      DATE: 14th Of July, 2005                 

TELE/FAX: (01-1)234-8029554788                                              

 

ATTN: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

Dear Sir,

 

REMMITANCE INSTRUCTION ON: (BILL NO: 243177ECOXX) HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (USD 100,000,000.00)/ NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA.

 

This Noble Bank "ECOBANK WEST AFRICA PLC"  will like to notify you (Mr. Joe Czarfunee) that Our Annual Board Meeting have been Postponed from the 12th of July, 2005 to the 19th of July 2005, because our Principal Executive Director is presently out of the country for a Summit at London, for the Terrorist Bomb Attack which happened recently in London.

 

The presence of this particular Major Executive Director will be much required in Our Annual Board Meeting because he is among the Major Shareholders of this Noble Bank. Incase if you do not know whom we are referring to, he is Our Excellency (The Honorable President Of The Federal Republic Of Nigeria).

 

In Our Annual Board Meeting Re-scheduled on the abovementioned Date, The Profits Accountability of this Noble Bank will be made Orally through Banking Analysis and after that, we shall issue all Executive Directors their Dividend Warrants.

 

Notice have been given to all Major Shareholders of this Bank on the Postponement of Our Annual Board Meeting.

 

Mr. Joe Czarfunee, If we in this Bank do not receive all required Documents before the Re-scheduled Date for Our Annual Board Meeting, your Inheritance Bill Sum of (US$100,000,000), will be Terminated without Notice.

 

Mr. Joe Czarfunee, Kindly call for further Clearifications on your Inheritance Payment (01-1)234-8029554788.

 

NOTE: As a very busy Bank, we do not entertain delays so kindly follow our Modus Operandi.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Dr. Alen Dorothe.

 

 

This is bullshit!  I made the full payment and they can see it in their account.  Sounds like they are too lazy or incompetent to check.  I have it confirmed that the money has been transferred.  So tell them to check their records right now.  Why should I do what they are supposed to be doing?  I am getting really angry about the way you are handling this.  Who is in charge of this account?  Can that person be trusted?

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

To annoy him even more, Toby writes him.

 

From: "Toby Williams"
Subject: Apology
To:  marclawchambers22@yahoo.ca

I am sorry. I did not mean to tell you to shove your head up YOUR dirty ass. I meant to say to shove your head up MY dirty ass.

Toby

 

Subject:          YOU MUST PROVIDE THE PAYMENT SLIP...(BARRISTER MARC HYCINTH)        

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

 

FROM: BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

TEL: (01-1)234-8035068907

 

DATE: 15TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL.

 

Dear Sir,

 

FOR THE FACT THAT I AM YOUR LEGAL ATTORNEY HANDLING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION, I WILL STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY EDUCATED AND ALSO WITH THE BEST OF EXPERIENCES IN LIFE.

 

I TOLD YOU TO CALL THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, AND YOU DID NOT, I ALSO TOLD YOU TO CONTACT THE HOLDING BANK AND I GUESS YOU DID NOT. SO HOW CAN WE GO FORWARD?

 

I AM AN OLD MAN AND I CAN NEVER BE FOOLED AROUND FOR ANY REASON. MY DEAR, NO ONE IS A KID HERE, FOR CHRIST SAKE, SO PLEASE CO-ORDINATE YOURSELF AND PROVIDE THE EVIDENCE OF PAYMENT BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY PROOF WHICH WILL SHOW THAT YOU MADE THE PAYMENT TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT.

 

WHERE IN THE WORLD WILL ANY ONE MAKE A PAYMENT WITHOUT A PAYMENT EVIDENCE. MY DEAR, YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN ATTORNEY, SO I HOPE YOU REMEMBER.

 

THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, IS A VERY BIG GOVERNMENT PARASTATAL, AND THEY CAN NOT WASTE ANY TIME ON US BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALOT OF THINGS TO ATTEND TO, SO KINDLY STOP DELAYING THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

 

I AM A MAN THAT SO MUCH BELIEVES IN TRANSPARENCY AND TRUTH.

 

MR. JOE CZARFUNEE, THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM AND THE FINAL SOLUTION IS THIS, IF YOU HAVE ACTUALLY MADE THIS PAYMENT, THEN TELL YOUR BANK TO GIVE YOU THE PAYMENT-FORM/PAYMENT SLIP IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT IS SERIOUSLY DEMANDING FOR THIS EVIDENCE OF YOUR PAYMENT. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, WE ARE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE WHOM ARE MAKING PAYMENTS TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT, SO PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT THEY RECEIVE MONEY IN EVERY HOUR. SO KINDLY PROOF YOUR PAYMENT BECAUSE WE ARE DEALING WITH A LEGAL GOVERNMENT PARASTATAL HERE.

 

N/B: IF YOU CLEARLY KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT PROVIDE THE PAYMENT-FORM/PAYMENT SLIP, THEN STOP CONTACTING ME FROM HENCEFORTH. PLEASE TAKE NOTE!!

 

WITHOUT THE PAYMENT-FORM/PAYMENT SLIP, THEN YOU NEVER MADE ANY PAYMENT AT ALL, SO KINDLY HEED TO MY INSTRUCTIONS IN THIS LETTER.

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq)

 

Once again, this is bullshit.  Do I have to say that again to you?  When I pay my electric bill do I need to show my bank slip to the electric company?  No!  And do you know why?  Yes you do, because my payment shows up in their account with my name attached.  Don’t you know that?  The payment was made and they should be able to show this.  What is the problem?  I asked you before what the problem is and you just whine to me.  What is the problem?   I made the payment and the HK bank should confirm this.  Right? 

 

A Foreign bank slip from a foreign bank in Switzerland is going to another foreign bank in Hong Kong and that is going to prove something in Nigeria?  Think about that.  Does that make sense to you?  It seems to.  Please explain this in great detail to me because it doesn’t make any sense to me.  I await your comprehensive explanation.

 

I have a lot of money tied up in this and this is what you give me. I am not happy with you.

 

Who is in charge of this account?  I asked you before and I get no answer.  Provide this information immediately or do I have to contact the HK bank myself?  I expect full information before Monday.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Didn’t hear from him for a few days.  Did I loose him?  I really don’t care.  Since I want to waste his time and annoy him, I send him this….its a fake bank and the good thing is the account section doesn’t work.  Of course all of this info is made up.

 

You can see my transaction at my banks website.

 

Goto Personal Accounts

Swift Code:  RSBEUXX

ACCOUNT NUMBER: 2874248358

Name:  Joseph Czarfunee

PIN: 58353

Authorization Code:  JK5984T

 

I have had a problem with a short delay in the site.  Hit Submit a few times and it goes through.  Print out the statement and that should satisfy the requirements.

 

Joe Czarfunee

 

Subject:          URGENT...    

To:       "Joe Czarfunee" < >

 

ATTN: JOE CZARFUNEE.

DATE: 19TH OF JULY, 2005.

 

Dear Sir,

 

THANK GOD YOU KNOW WITHIN YOURSELF THAT YOU NEVER MADE ANY PAYMENT.

 

I HATE LIERS!  (That’s funny, then obviously he hates himself….sad!)

 

NOW I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A JOKER. THANK GOD THAT I HAD NOT SECURED THE AFFIDAVIT IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED FOR ANY REASON.

 

YOU WANTED TO LOOT ME OF MY LATE CLIENT'S FUNDS BUT YOU HAVE FAILED.

 

BYE AND STOP TELLING LIES BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HELP YOU......

 

BEST REGARDS,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH (Esq).

 

Seems this is the end.  I don’t care.  I am tired of him.  I send the attachment as a Zip file so he has to open it and can’t preview it before hand.  It should increase the shock.

 

I don't know why you treat me like this saying what you do.  I can't believe that you call me a liar after all we have been through and what you have told me about this business venture.  I have attached the payment slip for you to view.  Any questions or comments please let me know right away for this is most urgent.

 

JOE CZARFUNEE

>Attached

  

 

 

 

Subject:          THE PAYMENT SLIP WAS BADLY SCANNED..............           

ATTN: Mr. Joe Czarfunee.

 

I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE WITH AN ATTACHMENT WHICH WAS NOT PROPERLY ATTACHED.

 

IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU MADE THIS PAYMENT, THEN SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP CLEARLY AND THEN SAVE WITH "JPG" AND SEND IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT FOR THE PROCUREMENT OF THE SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM.

 

IF YOU CAN NOT SCAN AND ATTACH IT YOURSELF, THEN YOU CAN LET SOMEONE ELSE DO IT WELL FOR YOU TODAY.

 

PLEASE NO MORE EXCUSES.............

 

FROM,

 

BARRISTER. MARC HYCINTH Esq.

 

Wow!  I am shocked!  What to do.  Resend it or come up with a new plan.  I ignore him to see what he does.  

 

Didn’t hear from him in awhile, I guess he opened up the zip file.

 

Hey Mugu,

 

Whats up?  I guess you got my attachment.  Maybe another computer at the internet cafe was able to open it. 

 

So no ranting like a 3 year old baby?  Did you tell your family that you are a thief today like a good little mugu?  You should do that at least once a day.

 

So how much money did you waste in that cafe dealing with me?   I will say that every time I say Mubamba I laugh because of that stupid ‘Ghastly Auto Accident’ story of yours in that fake paper.  It was so dumb it was funny.  After dealing with all your stupidity over those weeks, I really did get a small chuckle.

 

I'll see you around soon in your next scam.

 

Joe, Mubamba, and Toby

 

 

Well that was fun.  I think he is sorry that he ran into me.  He should be easy to recognize in the future.  I’ll just look out for “Whoms” and “ (your name here) ”.  Oh well, any comments send them to:

 

Elvis_scambaits_marc@yahoo.com