Kola Needs Money for an Operation

 

Cast

Elvis……..........Me, a trusting person that seems to throw around money left and right

Kola……..........The 419 Scammer

Dr. Johnson......Kola’s Doctor (the same person as Kola of course)

 

Special Guests

The Hijacker…..Me

Barrister Mubamba…..Me

The Elvis Impersonators…..Me

 

Scammers Real Names and Address:

 

Ajao Sheriffdeen Kolawole   (Surname:  Ajao Balogun)

    DOB:  12 May 1984 (Confirmed)

Ajao Abdul Rasheed

Sanni Sulaiman Damilola 

21 Balogun Street

Iwaya Yaba Lagos Nigeria

Telephone:      234-8023961808

 

You will quickly realize that Kolawole is not very sophisticated and quickly looses control of anything going on.  This begins as a very simple, low level 419 sympathy scam with the ‘Need Money for Operation’ Theme.  All correspondence is only edited for clarity and for all intensive purposes exactly as sent/received. 

 

Out of no where, a desperate plea for help arrives! 

Summary of Plea:  He needs $20,000 because there is something wrong with his skin

 

DAY 1 - December 27 2004

 

Subject:           to whom it may concern        

Dear friends

How are you? And how is your work? It is my pleasure to write this shortletter to you. My name is Kola Balogun I am young boy of 20yrs old. My main purpose of writing you this letter is all about assistance towards my body diseases (Surgery).

This disease started when I was 6yrs old, my parent thought that it was only a small boil. But gradually he started to increase will went to many various Hospital although they tried there best so when was 19yrs old I went toLagos teaching Hospital (LUTH) when the Doctor at the hospital stay thatthis case cannot be handle in Nigeria. That I need to travel out for this case so the Doctor has recommender a letter for me to travel out of thestate for surgery. So dear friends when will estimate the cost that I will used in hospitalityand other essential document is all about US$20,000 dollars which my family could not raise please help me this case is getting worse. I need yourassistance any body willing to help me out of this killer diseases should mail back at shero4001@faster.com I will appreciate any donation from thepublic, you can contribute any amount you have. Please this disease is dis-stopping my education in school. I want to becomea professional pilot but how can I achieved my dream with this particular killer diseases. I will be looking forward to here from you.May Almighty God bless you towards your contribution (Amen). Thanks please try to know that i need donation from the public you can contribute any amount you have. 

Remember Please I am not scam, swindled or internet fraud star am just begging

Forhelp for my surgical operation. Remember used shero4001@fastermail.com for your reply.

Kola

 

Kola wants lots of money.  How can I refuse, its only $20,000 he needs!  Time to mess with him.  Let’s see if I can change his name to Cola.

 

Cola,

I think that I may be in a position to help you.  I would like to know what your condition is.  $20,000 is a lot of money.  I would like to know what doctor you are seeing.  I can probably help. 

Tell me more,

Doctor Elvis

 

DAY 2 - December 28

 

Subject:           i thank you for your reply

dear sir,

I thank you for your reply may Almighty God bless you (Amen) i see doctor for skin in Lagos Hospital he is the one that recommended a letter for me to travel out of the state that the case can not handle in nigeria that is nigeria don't have the equiment for the surgical so the is the doctor email addresse dr_jonhson012@yahoo.com is the doctor for skin in that hospital so i will like to here more form you thanks

kola balogun

 

Now an email from the Doctor.  Curiously, sent from the same computer 17 minutes later.  It is easy to tell this Doctor attended the Finest Medical Schools.

 

hi doctor Elvis

the boy told me about you i am the doctor thta recommed the letter for the boy you can see the picture of that boy now yourself the case can not handle here that why i recommed the letter with conjuction with health organisation so bearer with him and assist him with what you have.

thanks

Dr. Johnson Note: forwarded message attached.

 

Obviously a picture nabbed off the net.  Looks like a little Oxy-10 will take care of that Acne, I mean that killer disease.  Of course Kola and the Doctor are the same...

 

DAY 3 - December 29

 

Dr. Johnson,

Thank you for sending coca Cola's photo.  From the looks of it, and being an excellent doctor, it appears that he has a bad case of ElmerFuddus Rabbitism.  Is that what you diagnosed?  What is Cola's age and body temperature?  What is Cola's IQ?  Is it below 40?  I have seen IQ down to 35 to 30 in these cases.  Is it even lower?  Since these cases are very expensive to treat, I am willing to help that all that I can.

 

I helped someone about 2 years ago with ElmerFuddus Rabbitism, a Mr. Bugsabunny.  That cost about $25,000 USD to treat.  It seemed like a looney tuney thing to do, but I donated about half of that amount.

 

So tell me more about yourself and Cola.  Please answer my questions.

Dr. Elvis

 

Success!  Kola is being called Cola!

 

About the Doctor

My name is Doctor John Johnson

I am from Lagos Teaching Hospital (Nigeria)

I am the director of all doctors in that hospital

my diagonised is skin and blood prevention

cola age is 20years old

cola body temperature is 0 degree

cola iq is below 40 is 30

 

About Cola

Cola full name is Balogun kola

he was 20years old

he has a poor family background & he wanted to became

someone in futures

so that all i can tell you about cola and me

thank you for staying with poor masses

thanks

Dr.john Johnson

 

Being an excellent doctor in 419 Land, I instantly diagnosed Cola’s problem!  The patient is Frozen Solid at 0 degrees!  I never heard of Skin and Blood PREVENTION!  The IQ of 30 is pretty obvious and should undergo further demonstration.

 

IQ 30:  Illiterate to up to 1st Grade Level; Skills:  up to simple, non-critical household chores.  Yep, that’s our Cola!

 

DAY 4 - December 30th

 

Subject:           thank you

dear elvis

i have told my doctor he said he will sent the mail to you okay. thank you for taking time to here me

thanks

cola

 

Cola seems so nice and polite.  Too bad he is a thief and a liar! 

 

Dr. Johnson,

It sounds like you are doing a good job treating coca Cola.  Is Cola in pain?  Sometimes the Carbon Dioxide (CO2) in the liquid runs low and fizz is lost.  Do you think coca Cola is getting flat?  Are you going to treat Cola there or outside the country?  How many doctors work for you?  If you wanted another job, you could work for me!  Would that interest you?  I want to help Cola all that I can.  Before I give money to help Cola, I need a copy of your medical degree and license.  I need a copy of them so I can give money without being taxed on the money.  With no taxes, I can give more money!  I am sure that you understand.

Thank you,

Dr. Elvis

 

And a follow up to the same person, I mean to the patient Cola.

 

Cola,

I am happy that you have such a good doctor.  I am going to help you all that I can.  I need some documents from your doctor first, otherwise I will be taxed so much that I will not be able to send any money to you.  Your doctor understands.  He can just email me what I need.  Try to warm up!

Dr. Elvis

 

Since I really got this guy going, I now start to paste all the emails together in Word and add to it daily.

 

DAY 5 - December 31

 

The Doctor is one of few words…

dear elvis

i thank you for your reply i understand that from you i will tried to do that but just give me sometime for me to prepre it i will send it to you ok

thanks

DR.JOHN

 

And Cola, well even fewer words…

Subject:           Re: thank you

hi elvis

i thank you i will tell my doctor to do that for you

ok bye

cola

 

Can’t imagine what he is coming up with.  Since he has little computer skills, I’m imagining he will draw something up with crayons!  I send off a quick note to him…I mean them.

 

Hi Cola,

Thank you for writing.  Hope you are feeling well. I'm sure that your doctor will send me what I need.  I want to help you very much.

Elvis

 

Dr. John,

Thank you for working on that.  I need those documents so I will be able to send you money.  I can send money to another doctor for medical research without being taxed on the money.  Otherwise, I will be taxed too much and will not be able to send any money.

Thank you,

Elvis

DAY 6 – January 1, 2005

 

hello elvis

thank you for giving me time to search for the document. But i went to inform you that for the past a month i have been out of my state to another state in Nigeria for medical conference. i tought that my wife will able to found it. But she could't . so this conference will last for three month. so before I arrive to my state is next three month. i infrom one of my friend to scan and send his own document. But he refuse to do so. please Dr. Elvis if you real want to help that boy out of that killer disease please try to send the money little by little to avoid much taxes.if the boy has catch the money by him self i will inform one of my doctor in hospital to prepre the travelling since the boy has told me about you that will i have been faitfull to you ok thanks and bearer with the boy

Thanks

Dr.johnson

 

Seems that forging a few fake documents is too difficult of a task.  3 month conference, what BS!   For $20,000 you would think that he would come up with a document!  I’m not letting him off that hook this easily, but I will come back to this after stirring up some trouble. 

 

Let the fun begin!  Before he starts with the Western Union payment info, lets shake this guy up and get him to think that $2500 is being sent to him with no way to collect money! 

 

Cola,

I sent a very special package to your doctor.  Ask him about it, it is wonderful news!

Elvis

 

I’m tossing in a lot of dollar signs to get his greed going…

 

Doctor Johnson,

I just sent you a package with $2500 USD in Cash to help with Colas condition.  I sent this money by express mail and you should receive it shortly.  Be sure to tell me when you receive this money.  I really want to work with you helping Cola.  $2500 USD is a lot of money to send, but due to the urgency of Colas condition, I think this is best, don’t you? 

 

I sent the $2500 USD in twenty-five brand new $100 bills.   I went to my bank and got brand new bills, $2500 worth.  The banker and I were the only people ever to handle these $100 bills. These $100 bills are nice and crispy.  I sent the package with the $2500 in cash addressed to you.  This $2500 should arrive to you soon. 

 

I will not send any more money until you get the $2500.  Tell me the moment you get my $2500.  I know that Cola needs money, and my $2500 is just a start. 

Elvis

 

So I sent 2500 Imaginary Dollars to his Imaginary Doctor at his Imaginary Address.  This should drive him nuts!   He thinks that there will be $2500 sitting in the post office that cannot be delivered and he has no way to collect it.  This should keep him busy trying to think of a way to get this money (and less time for him to be scamming!)  Hopefully he will lose some sleep over this.  My plan is to force him to admit receiving these imaginary funds, otherwise no more money will be sent.

 

DAY 7 - January 2

 

Subject:           Re: For you doctor

dear elvin,

thanks for your sincere co- operation.I was glad when i read that you are sending the money.But there is something puzzling about this. I have not giving you my mailing address and you have sent the package, that's really made me to be soconcerned about my email box.i guess someone is planing to play a dirty game which i knew nothing about.I guess my email address has been tampered with. I will like you to recall this package back if possible,because the package will not come to me. Secondly,i will like you to give me the mailing address of the reciever that was giving to you.For me to do my own private investigation.

 

I will like you to send this money via wester union money transfer

 

Elvin? Insulting the King of Rock & Roll?!?  So Cola thinks that his email account has been hacked.  I just want him to think that money was sent to the doctor at the hospital. Oh well, I ignore him and go out for a nice steak dinner.

 

Another email arrives, and the true names come out.

 

Subject:           less i forget

hello elvis

Happy new Year

less i forget i want ro remmind you that i am not around. so send the money to the boy once the boy received the money and told me i will inform one of my doctor to

prepre is traveling so this is the information of the boy

Name:-Ajao sheriffdeen Kolawole

Home address:-  21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos

Nigeria

or you can send the money to his brother

Name:-Ajao Abdul Rasheed

Home address:-21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos

Nigeria

phone number:-          234-8023961808          

if that you want to used the method that you used to send the money to me ok

Incase you want to you western union money transfer you can you this details

Surname:- Sanni

Other names :-Sulaimon Damilola

home address is :-21, balogun street iwaya yaba lagos

Nigeria

Sex:-male

phone number:-          234-8023961808 (Imagine that….Cola and the Doctor have the same physical address and phone number)  in case you want to use western union please tell me all you details about Sender and the receiver with control keys, securtiy question and answer so it will easy for me to cash.

Notice board

remmember to stop the first transaction and used one of the infromation i write down now because the money will not get to me remmemeber any email you see apart from dr_johnson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@fastermail.com is

a internet fraud mail ok please i also need your phone number because internet

was not secure and your country any email you want to send now send it through that boy    mail shero4001@fastermail.com ok

Thanks

John

 

I tried to hack Colas email with the new information provided.  Success after only 3 tries!  Colas password is simply his street name, balogun.  Hard to imagine, but the fake Doctor’s email password is the same. 

 

I change both passwords on his email accounts, as well as his profile information so there is no way for him to retrieve the Yahoo and Fastermail passwords.  This should drive him really crazy!

 

Now I have a new way to torment him! 

 

NOTE:  In Colas Inbox, there was a kind message from a very real person expressing that they were not able to help Cola due to their personal circumstances.  I sent this person an email outlining the 419 scam and some 419 FAQs and links.  I also encouraged this person to do an independent internet search for “419 Scam, “Advanced Fee Fraud” and “Nigeria Scam”.  This turned out to be very productive.

 

Back to this Bozo…

DAY 8 - January 3

 

He's got a new email address, no surprise there.  Since I have his email address, he has to create another email address to contact me. 

 

Subject:            it me doctor Johnson john

hello elvis

i have been trying to login to my yahoo account but he was refuse to open my box.i don't understand what is happen. Doctor elvis try and bear ware of scam or fraud star,please any mail you want to send now don't send it again to dr_johnson012@yahoo.com because i was not able to login into my account again due to scam on net ok i wa the one that mail you yesterday the two mail abut the address and the infromation about cola try and bear ware of scam any information you want to send now send it here ok even though cola too can not able to login into his account again my box open yesterday i used to send to you but today he was not able to open ok elvis try and stay with me and cola

ok

thanks

Dr. john 

 

Of course this guy made another mistake, when he set up his new email account to be the doctor, instead of being John Johnson as the name, he is using “ajao sheriff”.  I’m going to let this slide for now and hopefully use this later as my wildcard against him.

 

I continue to ignore him to keep him sweating…

 

Subject:            its is me John Johnson

hello elvis

please i want to tell you that the information i give you yesterday is trute information is the one you should you to send the money please if any body change it is not from me is from the scam ok please don't let the scam collect this money from colas hand remmember again that i could'nt able to login to my account again dr_johnson12@yahoo.com today i login 2/1/2005 but as from on the 3/1/2005 i was not able ok please don't mind any mail that comes from dr_johnson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@yahoo.com again he as been hijack from me and the boy ok please used the information i sent to you last to send the money if anybody has you to change it remmember it is not from me it is from the internet fruad

Notice board

am not changing anything about the information of the money please used the one i sent to you last it is me John Johnson

Bear ware of scam, frud, theifs

thanks

John

 

Ummm….how many times can he repeat this?

 

Subject:           its is me John Johnson

any mail you want to send again use this mail don't send to dr_johnson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@fastermail.com it has been hijack from me

and the boy

ok

bye

 

I just glance over this rehash…

Subject:           it me John JOhnson

hello elvis

These are the details that i used for you last

Recicver name:-                         Ajao Sheriffdeen Kolawole

Home Address:-                       21, Balogun street Iwaya Yaba Lagos Nigeria

phone Number:-                      234-8023961808

His Brother owns is

Name:-                           Abdul Rasheed Ajao

Home Address:-              21, Balogun street iwaya yaba lagos Nigeria

                                      234-8023961808

 you can used one of the two information to send it if you want to used the method you used to send the first transaction .remmember tried to stop that transaction he was not from me i have never give you my detail so how do you know that. remmember if you want to send it through western money union transfer you can use this details is also his brother so he will cash it for him

Name:-                                    Sanni Sulaiman Damilola

Home Address:-                       21, Balogun street Iiwaya yaba lagos Nigeria

Phone Number:-                      234-8023961808

remmember to include all necessary information in order to cash easily. remmember the hackers or internet fraud star has been hijack my box with cola own both dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@fastermail.com

 

if you see any mail come throught the two is not from me or cola is from the fraudstar or Scam please elvis i will need your Tel-phone number so will can discus private remmember i sent two mail for you yestarday sunday 2/1/2005 but now i can not able to access my account and cola own if you really want to help cola please stop sending anything to those mail again ok any mail you see is it from will. these are the detail i sent last tried and bear ware of scam

 

Notice board

i also said that if you see any mail apart from dr_johnson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@fastermail.com that do not reply .

thanks

john

 

OK, I fire back here, and I am still ticked at him for not sending me those medical documents, 3 month conference huh!  I also make up some stuff to keep him thinking there is another Mugu involved.  I throw in some more $ signs to spark some more interest and give this dope little wiggle room.

 

I really do not who you are.  I got an email from my friend coca Cola today and one from Doctor Johnson.  Both of their emails come from the right email address.  Cola told me that he is in good spirits, he was able to go outside for lunch and do something with bottling, his family is doing the best that they can, but he needs much help.  Cola told me today that his brother was very happy.  I do not know why Colas brother was so happy.  He said his brother could not stop laughing.  I will ask him tomorrow about it.

 

Doctor Johnson told me today that Cola needs money for medication.  Dr. Johnson told me Cola needs $3200 USD for medicine. 

 

Doctor Johnson told me that you are not who you appear to be, that you are faking to be Cola and faking to be Dr. Johnson just to steal money from my friend Cola!

 

I do not know what to believe.  Are you pretending to be Dr. Johnson?  I want to send money to my friend Cola, but you have to prove to me that you are the real Doctor Johnson.  I asked Dr. Johnson before for a copy of his Medical Degree and Medical Certificate (Medical License), and the Doctor was out of the state but now is back.  You will have to send me copies of your Medical Degree and Medical Certificate if you are the real Dr. Johnson.  Email copies should be OK.

 

You have to send me copies of both.  Doctor Johnson told me today that he can send me copies of his Medical Degree and Medical License, he just needs a day or two for his personal secretary to make a copy.  I was impressed by that.  So if you can send me copies of your Medical Degree and License, I might believe you.

 

If you do not have a medical degree and medical license, then you are no doctor, you are faking to be Dr. Johnson, you can’t treat or help my friend Cola, and you are not getting any money!

 

Cola needs $3200 USD for medicine.  Cola is my friend and I want to help him.  I will hold sending the $3200 through Western Union to Dr. Johnson until you can prove to me you are the real Doctor Johnson.

 

No, I’m not going to call you, because you may be a fraudster and you may just want to steal money from my friend Cola!  You have to prove to me you are the real Doctor Johnson.  Otherwise you are the fraudster and all you want is to take Colas money!!! 

 

You can say all that you want, but if you cannot send me the two medical documents, you are no doctor, you cannot help Cola, and you get no money. 

 

Elvis

 

OK, this should confirm to him that another Mugu hacked his email and pretending to be him.  Hopefully this will get Cola busy wasting time making up fake documents. Cola can’t win here, no matter what happens, Cola is always going to be a few steps behind and on the defensive.  It is fun tormenting him!      

 

DAY 9 - January 4

 

Subject:           Re: it me John JOhnson

hello elvis

I thank you for reply me although you may not understand me. but i want to use this opportunity to tell you that you should not sending any money to anybody either dr_johonson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@fastermail.com the two boxs has been hijack from me and cola. i used the box to send message to you last Sunday 2 of

January 2005 But he was hijack from frauder star yestarday monday 3 of January 2005 go and check your box and verify my last message i sent to you through that box. dr_johnson012@yahoo.com any mail you see come through that box from 3 of January 2005 he is not from me or cola he is from the scammer the have hijack the two boxes i have not arrive from the conference if the dr_johnson012@yahoo.com give you and degree or other document please is a fake am the really doctor. But he will had for you to know again the message i sent last was (less i forget) and other one that i told you that you should stop the transaction ok go into your box and verify please don't answer any mail that come from the two mail again is not from me he has been hijack. by the scammer. cola want to open another box to use it mail you but i stop him please bear ware again of fraud star and again do not give the dr_johnson012@yahoo.com or shero4001@fastermail.com this mail box if you give them they will also hijack again from me ok less i forget don't send the two mails any money agin unless the money will not get to me remmember stop the first transaction so will can discuss again cola did'nt need any money for medicine or other thing they want to collet your money for nothing. i think you understand that ok i am not asking you to send me money as for now i just

want you to know that the scammer is between me and you   please that is the real information i give you last if you want to send any thing for me or cola if you want to know if this is trute go through my old box dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and this present ones you found out that is the same the information i give you if they has you to change it please don't change it you also you your sense to do this bear ware again of scammer

Thanks

Dr.john

 

Finally he writes to his stolen email accounts...."The Hijacker".  Sort of one thief to another…

 

Subject:           you think you can hijack my box     

To:      dr_johnson012@yahoo.com

To: shero4001@fastermail.com

hello theifs

i thank you for hijack the two boxs but i want to tell you that he is not ok main why you may be laughing at me but remember that there is God he has not been easy for me to get money and help so this is only way i do boy but now you hijack it you think you can get money and wasted another soul so let wait and see what God his going to do thanks

Dr_johnson 

 

HUH????

 

DAY 10 – January 5

 

Cola sends me this twice…

Subject:           it me cola

hello elvis

our box was hijack from the scammer yestarday Monday  3 of January 2005

although Dr. Johnson told me that i should not mail you until the problem is solved.But i call him that he should allow me to mail you and he accepted for me elvis my box is been hijack once again i am not the one that is mailing you Dr.Johnson he said to me that you sent me a package but he has not give you the information so stop any transaction as for now please don't received any mail from drjohnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@fastermail.com he has been hijack from me and Dr. John so try and bear ware of Scammer am real your friend colas, Doctor john has not arrived from his trip so i don't need anything as for now don't mind dr_ohnson012@yahoo.com or

shero4001@yahoo.com this is my new email address shero4002@fastermail.com you can talk to me on this number 234-8023961808 go through your box and check last message that Dr.john sent to you John sent last message to you on 2, of january 2005 through his old mail address dr_johnson012@yahoo.com but has from 3 of january he could not able to login.go through the last message that john sent to you and this present once you found out they all the same so my friend bear ware of scammer am your through friend cola

Notice Board

Dr. johnson has not arrived and he has not receicved any money from express mail so i will give you advice stop the transaction used the detail that Dr.john give you to send it if you check dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and this present once shero4001@yahoo.com you will see it there remember i don't need any money for medicine the two mail has been hijack yestarday dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@fastermail.com

bye

cola

 

And even more emails….think that he is panicking?

 

Subject:           its me cola

hello elvis

please don't give the hijacker dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@yahoo.com this two mails unless the will also hijack it from us again.

shero4001@yahoo.com and shero4002@fastermail.com because they will also hijack it

bear ware of scammer

thanks

cola

 

OK, lets get him to do some explaining…One email to the “Doctor”

 

Hello.  I am not sending any money to anyone until I figure out who you are.  Cola wrote me today.  Cola told me that you are really his Uncle and that you want to take his money.  Cola told me that you want to make sure that he doesn’t get well.  Are you really such a bad person?  Are you really trying to steal money from Cola?  Are you really Colas uncle?

 

I have extra money and I want to help people.  I want to help people that need help, not someone who is just trying to take my money.  I want to help my friend Cola!

 

I want to believe you if you are the Real Dr. Johnson. But first you have to answer some questions.  I’m not sure about this, but are you saying someone took over your email?  Is that what you are saying happened?  Is someone pretending to be you?

 

Questions for you:

How was your email hijacked?

Are you Colas Uncle?

Are you a Real Doctor?

Can you send me anything that can show me who you are?

Can you send a picture of you with a sign saying “I am the Real Doctor Johnson”

Elvis

 

And I send another email to Cola.  I tell him what the hijacked Cola allegedly told me.  This should confuse him more…

 

I got an email today.  Cola told me that you are his Uncles wife.  Cola told me that you are his aunt.  Are you his aunt?  Are you a women?  I was told that you are a bad women and you would use any money sent to you for bad things!  Is this true?

 

Is your husband pretending to be Dr. Johnson?  Is Dr. Johnson his Uncle?  Are you really my friend Cola or are you just a greedy woman?  Are you a women pretending to be a boy?

 

I want to get this figured out and I need your help.

Elvis

 

After a few hours, I send this to him from his stolen email address

 

Re: you think you can hijack my box           

To:      "ajao sheriffdeen" <kola4001@yahoo.com>           

u tell elvis I doctr

u tell guy sen mony to me

 

And a bit later, just to keep him on the hook and make sure he doesn’t throw in the towel…

 

You have to remember that all I want to do is help my friend Cola.  I want to be sure that my friend Cola gets help and that I am helping Cola.  I do not want to help some trickster.  I want to help my good friend Cola. 

 

You have to remember that I have 2 Doctors and 2 Colas talking to me.

Elvis

 

Re: Its me, Elvis       

To:       "Elvis King" <doctorelvisking@yahoo.com>     

hello elvis

thanks for your reply i know that you really want to help cola but i am the trute Doctor my old box was dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and he has been hijacker from me on monday 3 of Janauary 2005 i used this box to sent to you  on sunday 2 of january 2005 before he was hijack on monday

Elvis please try and bear ware of scammer again they are pretending like doctor and cola. cola and i has open another box and the two box is shero4002@fatermail.com shero4001@yahoo.com please don't tell the hijackers this two mail they will also block it from us again will don't know them niether we relative they are scammer they predent like cola and doctor I am not his Uncle or aunty or brother will don't know them they are scammer they have hijack the box. please don't send any money to them if you do so they use your money for life and other enjoyments and wasterd cola life ok so bear ware of that

Thanks

John

 

Poor Cola, he doesn’t really know it, but he is trying to tell me that I took over his email and I should stop talking to the fake him which is really me and I should stop listening to the fake Doctor which is really me talking to myself and I should only be listening and talking to the real him.  As strange as all that seems!

 

I am really getting tired of him whining about this hijack thing, but it is wasting his time telling me this over and over and over.  I like driving him crazy, so I let it continue.

 

Subject:           Fwd: the pics

hello elvis

Are you Colas Uncle? No

Are you a Real Doctor? yes my name still remind John Johnson

Can you send me anything that can show me who you are?

yes this is colas picture if i am not the really Doctor  how can i see cola picture

Can you send a picture of you with a sign saying “I am the Real Doctor” I can but i Told you that i am not around i am at conference in Imo state so it is difficult for me to send.

I told cola yestarday to scan his picture again and send to me and he do so

if i am not the doctor how can i see the picture of cola

 

Question for you

Have you send any Money

Have you stop the frist transaction

Please stop the first transaction they are scammer

Note: forwarded message attached.

 

He sends me the original stupid uninformative picture…rescanned and bigger.  Gee thanks Cola.

 

How lame this guy is!  This doesn’t prove a thing.  No picture of the doctor with the sign, still at the conference excuse.  Well this is going to haunt him.

 

Subject:           Re: its me cola

hello elvis

i thank you for your reply

elvis i told you that i don't know them they are scammer they are predenting to be and Doctor I am not is Uncle wife and again i am not is aunt am not is sister or mother or any relations i am the really cola my doctor has forward my picture to you again and Dr  am your friend cola all that he wrote you his lies he his pretending to act like me and doctor i don't know him

Notice Board

elvis if you look at his words you will found out that he is not the same is the same person act like me and doctor they have see all messager you sent to doctor john and me in our box so they follow this information to decived you so you will belive with they say

ok

Question for you Elvis

Has the two of them to provide first letter you see before you mail back that you want to help

thanks  

 

He wants the Hijacker to provide the first email he sent out to scam.  No problem there.  But I'll get to that Cola, relax, I'm running things here not you!

 

Subject:           bear ware

hello elvis

if you don't bear ware he will also hijack your own box too is very good and smart. (THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!) so bear ware of him ok and he will see all information in your boxs so don't mail him again. I think you can know the trute now

 

Question for you Elvis

Ask Him the first message you in your box that you reply that you help  Huh?

 

OK, enough of this hacked email nonsense, I’m tired of hearing about  it!  Lets give Cola a serious problem to deal with.  I am going to prove his ID by mailing the Doctor a card at his conference!  This seems like a good confirmation on the legitimacy of the Doctor, but of course the problem is there is no conference and there is no such person as Doctor Johnson!  If he is at the conference, then he will get my card, and if he is not at the conference, he can send me his photo and medical certificate.  Lets see how he wiggles out of this one.

 

I am sorry that I was not able to write earlier.  I am glad that you are not a women and you are not pretending to be a women.  That would be strange.

 

Your Questions.

Have you send any Money. 

I am holding sending money out to anyone until I figure out what is going on.  I want to know who is who first.  I want my money to go to Cola, not some fake person that may use it for bad purposes.  I want my money to do good.

 

Have you stop the frist transaction

I am working on that.  I should know about this soon.

 

All the email address write and sound the same way you do.  (Retarded!)  I can not tell any difference between what you say and what they say. 

 

I have been thinking about this problem we are having.

 

I have good news for you!  I have a good way to straighten this whole thing out.  I know how to make sure who is the Real Dr. Johnson and who is the trickster.   I will send you a card in the mail at the 3 month conference you are at.  This card will have a special codeword in it, and if you get the card and tell me the codeword, then you are the real doctor.  This will tell me that you are the real doctor, and you are at the conference.  The real doctor is at the conference in Imo state, if you are in Imo State at the Conference, you are the real Doctor.  The Real Doctor told me he is in Imo State for the next 3 months. Isn’t this a great idea!  

 

This will tell me for sure that you are the real doctor.  Do you like my idea?  If you are the real doctor, then you are at the conference in Imo state, and you will get my card.  If you are the fake doctor, you are not at the conference, you will not get my card, and you will not be able to tell me the codeword.  See, this is a very easy way to tell who is telling the truth! 

 

Since you told me today you are at the conference and you are staying there for 3 months, this should not be a problem at all!  You told me today you are at the conference that is why you could not send me a picture of you and your medical degree.  I am so happy that I will finally figure out who the real Cola and real Doctor is.

Elvis

 

I guess he has about 1 hour a day to write emails because that is all that he can afford at the internet café.  So after reading this, he has less than an hour to think up something to get himself out of this jam. 

 

Subject:           your reply's

hello elvis

i know is the time to know the trute i like your Idea

i will like to do that for me.

I am not asking for money now i just want you to know the right Dr.Johnson ok

Please send me the special codeword i will reply you

Thanks

Dr.Johnson

 

Notice Board

please try and bear ware of the scammer they will hijack your box if you don't bear ware they will see all information in your box because they do the same to me they used all

information in my box to trace you

 

Question for you

have you Stop mailling dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@fastermail.com the two mail has been hijack and they are very good and smart  (Compared to you anybody is!)

 

What is with this Idiot?  I have never encountered anyone this stupid!  Can he Read?  I want to mail the card to the imaginary conference, is he expecting me to send it to his shack?  We’ll see about this.

 

I send him this from his stolen email account…this should shake him up a little.

 

From the Hijacker:

why u talk mi guy

I giv u $20 u leave elvis

u tell elvis I doctr

i pay u

u tell elvis sen mony to me

ok?

 

Now a quick email from him…

 

Subject:           i forget to ask you     

hello elvis

i forget to tell you please ask your friend dr_johnson012@yahoo.com and shero4001@fastermail.com  that they should present you the frist message you see when your reply that you will help

thanks

Dr.john

 

OK, he wants the first message to show that this Hijacker is a fake.  Lets use this against him.  Since I took over his email, I don't think he has the original letter he sent out begging for money.  So maybe he doesn't have it either.  I send him another email from his stolen account.

 

Subject:  u lose          

ha ha

u sen ur 1st letter to mi friend when u send to many

i sen ur 1st letter to mi guy

u no have ur 1st letter

i do

u lose

i no sen u midle part ur letter

ha ha, u no have midle part

i do

i sen to mi guy all part

u no have all

u have no midle to sen

i tel mi guy u no have all letter

u lose

now i ofer $0 to you

ha ha

 

 

Dear friends

How are you? And how is your work? It is my pleasure to write this shortletter to you. My name is Kola Balogun I am young boy of 20yrs old. My main purposeof writing you this letter is all about assistance towards my body diseases (Surgery). This disease started when I was 6yrs old, my parent thought that it was only a small boil. But gradually he started to increase will went to many various Hospital although they tried there best so when was 19yrs old I went toLagos teaching Hospital (LUTH) when the Doctor at the hospital stay thatthis case cannot be handle in Nige

 

***************************************************

 

      NO MIDLE For u.  u no can sen letter to mi guy.       

 

***************************************************

 

ase I am not scam, swindled or internet fraud star am just begging Forhelp for my surgical operation. Remember used shero4001@fastermail.com for your reply.

 

Now Elvis writes him and puts the squeeze on him.  I’m not happy that he didn’t get that conference address to sink in to his little brain.

 

Hello,

Why do you tell me to ignore the other Doctor then tell me to ask him for the first letter?  How can I ignore him and not write him when you want me to ask him for the first letter? I have to tell you that I did get the first email sent to me from the other Dr. Johnson earlier today.  He told me that you cannot send me the first letter sent to me.  He told me that you can not send it because you are a fake and a trickster and a liar.

 

He said that if you are the real Doctor, you should send me the letter.  He said that you do not have the whole letter.  He said that if you are missing some of the letter, it is because you are a fake and a liar and I should not listen to you.

 

So can you send me the first letter you sent me?  I will read the whole thing to see if there is anything missing.

 

The other Doctor sent me the first mail, and it was all complete.  I compared it to first one that I got and nothing was missing.  It was all there.  So you have to send me the first mail.  You have to remember that you are the one who asked me to have him send the first mail.  He did send me the first mail and now it is your turn.  You are the one who suggested the first mail.  Your turn now.

 

Also, you never did tell me where to send the card with the codeword.  I want the address of the conference in Imo State.  The address you give me must be in Imo State.  If it is in Lagos, that is not right because the conference is in Imo State.  Doctor Johnson told me that the conference is in Imo state three times and also he told me three times that he is there for 3 months. 

 

So, you have to send me

  1. Your first letter for help
  2. The Address of the Conference in Imo State

Elvis

 

To keep him off guard, I sent him this from his other stolen "Hijacked" email account:

 

To:  kola4001@yahoo.com

Subject:  why

why u no talk

 

 

He sends me the original letter begging for money about his skin and….

Notice Board 1

I am not swindling or internet fraud star am just begging for help in order to live in life try to mail.

 

Notice Board 2

i used shero4001@fatermail.com for the reply before he was hijack by the scammer so now i open another new mail for cola now is shero4002@yahoo.com

 

Notice board 3

Elvis this people are using my information in my box to trace you and decived you so that you will bilief what they are saying

 

Notice board 4

try and bear ware agin if you don't want to loose your inofrmation in your box because they are very good and smart (thank you again for the compliment!) they are scammer

 

Your last question is

Eastern Hospital in Imo State Nigeria the full name was (Imo State Teaching Hospital )

Thanks

Dr.John

 

I think Cola is getting a little paranoid.  Understandable since he sits in an internet cafe surrounded by fellow 419 scammers.

 

DAY 11 - January 6

 

Subject:           your answer

hello Elvis

i am not happy to mail you again since is difficult for you to found out the right person. i have been trying to let you understand that those peoples are scammer they are using all our information in our box to talk to you.

i said you should stop mailling them all our information is with them so it will difficult for you to know the right will are not asking for money as for now but they are asking you money all the time  All they want is your money i told you that i am cola that my old box was hijack by the scammer and Dr.johnson owns shero4001@fastermail.com

and dr_jhonson012@yahoo.com if am not cola how can will give you the picture of cola so i don't have much to say i pray for you that Almighty God will show you the right person (Amen)

Thanks

Cola

 

I send him this quick email to pep him up a little.  He has been on the defensive for too long and I want to keep him hooked.  I’m going to give him a little confidence then slam him around more of course. 

 

I must tell you that I am very impressed by what you sent me!  Thank you for sending me the original letter.  I feel much better about you.  I will be careful of anyone trying to steal my email box.  I don’t even let my wife near my computer, I keep her in the kitchen where she belongs! 

 

I am also very impressed that you are not asking me for money every 5 minutes.  I have been asked for $3200 for medicine (OXY10 medicine for his back), $1800 for a Monoculator from Stalag 13 for the doctor, and Cola asked me $600 for new road runner ACME shoes and a used tooth brush.

 

Elvis

 

DAY 12 - January 7

Subject:           the confarmation       

 

hello elvis

when i maill my old box see they reply they give me i open another box to mail the two boxs please read the

replys sent to me

Thanks

Dr.John 

 

He did a horrible job pasting what I sent him from his hacked email to me.  In the middle of all the Yahoo advertisements and text scripts, 3 pages worth (!),  I saw “mi guy elvis” and all the rest.

 

Minutes later…

 

Subject:           i want you to know

hello elvis

Do not mail them that i forward the message to you because they can also forge a mail that he comes from me. i just want you to know the trute information

Thanks

Dr. John

 

OK, time to fire back at him.  I’m going to send him what the Hacked Doctor says about him.  I used an automated complaint letter generator:

 

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

 

This complaint generator comes up with paragraphs of things that sound impressive, but nonsense to follow.  This should overwork his poor little mugu brain.  I suggest you glance at the first few sentences and the last ones where I customized it.  Even I didn’t bother to read the whole thing!  I whip this up in a few minutes and send it off…

 

Subject:  About You

This is what the other Doctor has been saying about you!

<Forwarded

 

My Dear Friend Elvis,

It is so nice to talk to you once again my dear friend.  Ignore that fool who says he is Doctor Johnson. Let's talk again about an all-too-familiar subject: Dr. John Fake Johnson and his devious ploys. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Dr. Fake Johnson himself. If nothing else, you should never forget the three most important facets of his perversions, namely their intolerant origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue.

 

If we let Dr. Fake Johnson gain a virtual stranglehold on many facets of our educational system, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. I do not wish to evaluate unilateralism here, though I think that Dr. Fake Johnson has no soul. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that a great many decent people are just as distressed as I am about his snow jobs. Well, how about this for evidence: Dr. Fake Johnson somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information), distortions (the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of Dr. Fake Johnson's own base nature"), and misplaced idealism (Dr. Fake Johnson is omnipotent). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "chromatographic".

 

Dr. Fake Johnson's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that he is a martyr for freedom and a victim of parasitism?) Dr. Fake Johnson says that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of quasi-viperine stereotypes. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely immature and gruesome lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Dr. Fake Johnson's faithfuls.

 

He demands obeisance from his acolytes. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Dr. Fake Johnson forces them to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships throughout the entire society. How can we trust him if he doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, honest people will admit that his shenanigans have reached a depth of degeneracy that was virtually unknown in the past. Concerned people are not afraid to spread the word about Dr. Fake Johnson's dodgy, ornery musings to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers. And sensible people know that by allowing Dr. Fake Johnson to do exactly the things he accuses eccentric sots of doing, we are allowing him to play puppet master. Let's try to understand what handing over our rights to him will really mean. It certainly won't mean that we'll be able to freely ring the bells of truth. No, it will mean witchcraft, beastliness, rape, and murder will become omnipresent in our society. It will mean a descent back into the jungle.

 

Dr. Fake Johnson's misguided, vainglorious effusions convince me of only one thing: that Fake Johnson asserts that his propositions are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. The great irony is that his perceptions are sophomoric to the core. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his tendentious flimflams. Curiously, when I first became aware of Dr. Fake Johnson's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why sex-crazed wastrels are intrigued and puzzled by Dr. Fake Johnson's amalgam of Pecksniffian hooliganism and paltry materialism -- a tangled web of KKK, Freudian, encounter-therapy, populist, Ayn Rand-like, and Marxist notions. My peers aver that if stated outright, Dr. Fake Johnson's cop-outs would be manifestly unpopular. While this is honestly true, I contend we must add that I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Dr. Fake Johnson want to treat people like self-aggrandizing, wanton propagandism enthusiasts. Call me larcenous if you'd like; I will still do everything in my power to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community. Then, I will announce to the world that for those of us who make our living trying to place a high value on honor and self-respect, it is important to consider that an armed revolt against him is morally justified. However, I maintain that it is not yet strategically justified.

 

Whenever there's an argument about Dr. Fake Johnson's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Dr. Fake Johnson embraces revanchism with open arms. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. He must sense his own irremediable inferiority. That's why Dr. Fake Johnson is so desperate to fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries; it's the only way for him to distinguish himself from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Dr. Fake Johnson also realized that if we are to embrace the cause of self-determination and recognize the leading role and clearer understanding of those people for whom the quintessential struggle is an encompassing liberation movement against the totality of sectarianism, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the bleeding-heart and crazy ideologies that Dr. Fake Johnson promotes. Griping about Dr. Fake Johnson will not make him stop trying to paint pictures of bitter worlds inhabited by contemptuous jackanapes. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not sullen undesirables. Dr. Fake Johnson, get a life! Just look at the bill of fare served up in recent movies and television programs, and you will hardly be able to deny that it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by his iconoclastic put-downs. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his brethren.

 

He owes us all an apology, right? Right. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Is it possible for those who defend pestiferous fogyism to make their defense look more destructive than it currently is?" I, for one, would venture the answer has something to do with neopaganism. To elaborate, Dr. Fake Johnson recently claimed that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before.

 

One thing is certain: By now, we are all more than familiar with his loud nostrums. In view of that, it is not surprising that his stories about Jacobinism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Before I leave this issue, let me share an interesting finding from a recent poll: Four out of five people surveyed feel that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which Dr. Fake Johnson has tried to construct the spectre of a terrible armed threat.

 

When he says that he can override nature, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. We can say that Dr. Fake Johnson's stratagems have led to date rape, domestic violence, pornography, and other social ills, and Dr. Fake Johnson can claim the opposite, and it won't make one bit of difference. His precepts all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. In plain, simple-to-understand English, our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to find the common ground that enables others to follow through on the critical work that has already begun, we must promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because you might say, "Society has paid a dear price for letting Dr. Fake Johnson curry favor with infantile renegades using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their 'value', their 'importance', their 'educational mission', and other unimaginative nonsense." Fine, I agree. But if Fate desired that he make a correct application of what he had read about opportunism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the deranged fool would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, his whitewash of the issue offers no real analysis of the situation that resulted in his dictatorial words in the first place. To top that off, his equivocations are based on hate. Hate, expansionism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. What I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that my dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to begin the debate about Dr. Fake Johnson's invectives. My aim is to tackle the multinational death machine that Dr. Fake Johnson is currently constructing. In fact, I have said that to Dr. Fake Johnson on many occasions, and I will keep on saying it until he stops trying to compromise the things that define us, including integrity, justice, love, and sharing.

 

Given a choice of having him reinforce the impression that malignant losers -- as opposed to Dr. Fake Johnson's sycophants -- are striving to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I, not being one of the many lewd callous-types of this world, would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Dr. Fake Johnson uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. He likes to cite poll results that "prove" that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented hastily mounted campaigns. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will indubitably find that Dr. Fake Johnson maintains that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that it's his belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to resort to underhanded tactics. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an unprincipled idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that Dr. Fake Johnson has abandoned ethics altogether. (Actually, this is no laughing matter, but that's not important now.) I can only teach the most perfidious despots you'll ever see about tolerance if Dr. Fake Johnson's army of boisterous televangelists is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anyone and everyone for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. To wrap up, I'll just hit the key elements of this letter one last time. First, there is every indication that Dr. John Fake Johnson reports the news selectively in order to advance his agenda. Second, imprudent muttonheads are unable to see that Dr. Fake Johnson is unable to see any issue in a broad perspective or from more than one side. And finally, Dr. Fake Johnson will go to almost any extreme to prevent my message of truth from getting out.

 

I want this letter to serve as an oasis of sanity in Dr. John Fake Johnson's desert of foolishness. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, I have reason to believe that Dr. Fake Johnson is about to use organized violence to suppress opposition. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that if Dr. Fake Johnson can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that his opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality -- I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Libidinous Rhetoric. In the meantime, Dr. Fake Johnson has, at times, called me "pathological" or "drugged-out". Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to control what we do and how we do it. If we are powerless to disabuse Dr. Fake Johnson of the notion that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his appalling, besotted prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers, it is because we have allowed Dr. Fake Johnson to bamboozle people into believing that laws are meant to be broken.

 

If I am correct that he attempts to sound intelligent by cramming as many big words into a sentence as possible, whether they are used correctly or not, then Bonapartism is dangerous. Dr. Fake Johnson's damnable version of it is doubly so. To malign and traduce me is Dr. Fake Johnson's objective, and cacodemonic, wild sesquipedalianism is his method. In point of fact, "Dr. Fake Johnson" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community, I tell him or her to stop "Dr. Fake Johnson-ing". He has never tried to stop fickle blockheads who sentence more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death. In fact, quite the opposite is true: Dr. Fake Johnson encourages that sort of behavior.

 

Although he has unfairly depicted me and those who share my beliefs as liars and cheats and goof-offs, we are neither. Yes, Dr. Fake Johnson uses the word "literally" when he means "metaphorically", but his faithfuls carry out orders like puppets obeying the puppeteer. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me lift the fog from his thinking. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because Dr. Fake Johnson presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures.

 

As I stated, this Doctor Fake Johnson is a fake, a fraud, a liar, and a thief.  If you send me $500 I will kick him in the nuts for you.  This should be done as soon as possible.

 

-The Real Doctor Johnson

 

Now we can’t Forget Cola!  Once again…the first few sentences and the last paragraph is mine, a little customization.  Minutes later, I send this…

 

Cola,

This is what the other Cola has been saying about you.

Elvis

 

<Forwarded

My good Friend Elvis.  It is so nice to write to you.  I am trying to do better but the pain I am in is very bad.  I need money for my surgery.  I am angry. Angry that events have transpired that lead me to write this statement about the Fake Cola.  The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter, but the conclusion's general outline is that Fake Cola will stop at nothing to dominate or intimidate others. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, once you understand Fake Cola's memoirs, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Fake Cola put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse. Your guess is as good as mine as to why he wants to gag the innocent accused from protesting careerism-motivated prosecutions. Maybe it's because he plans to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. I might be able to forgive Fake Cola, but only if he promises never again to abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and froward, prodigal calumniators. His idea of filthy alcoholism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a complacent blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, a coldhearted and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a merciless frenzy and then prompts them to play the blame game.

 

Don't be fooled: The fact of the matter is that if he thinks that laws are meant to be broken, then he's sadly mistaken. For the moment, I will concentrate on the fact that ever since Fake Cola decided to pollute the great canon of English literature with references to his disagreeable agendas, his consistent, unvarying line has been that the worst types of coldhearted Fake Cola clones there are are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive.

 

While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because he has bid adieu to objectivity. But it goes further than that; no matter how bad you think his vituperations are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Without a doubt, however, prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially Fake Cola's featherbrained form of it -- is. There is no defense against ridicule. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that his opuscula blend short-sighted racialism (manifested in a sex-crazed, rude stance) with a purported support for environmentalism, trade unionism, and the dignity of labor. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. You may be wondering why self-satisfied deviants latch onto Fake Cola's convictions. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why I honestly feel that Fake Cola has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. He obviously has none, or he wouldn't flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet.

 

Leaving aside the behavior of other selfish jerks, just because Fake Cola and his stooges don't like being labelled as "stubborn half-wits" or "uncompromising, impudent fast-buck artists" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. Who is he to say that everything is happy and fine and good? You know what? His spin doctors have discounted their brain as a useless organ. If you doubt this, just ask around.

 

Fake Cola is battening on us, and besides, if it were up to Fake Cola, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. Several things he has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. Out of the vast number of devastating evils for which slatternly chiselers are directly or indirectly responsible, I shall pick out only a single one which is most in keeping with the inner essence of Fake Cola's juvenile maneuvers: opportunism. I know more about radicalism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Fake Cola can't possibly believe that anyone who dares to lift the fog from his thinking can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. He's stupid, but he's not that stupid. While some information provided by his understrappers may be factual, other material is unsubstantiated rumor or shabby harangues.

 

By refusing to act, by refusing to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come, we are giving Fake Cola the power to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. In the past, when I complained that he was attempting to paint pictures of overweening worlds inhabited by the most vindictive carousers I've ever seen, I was told that I was just being brain-damaged. But nowadays, people realize that socially inept, spineless liars and cheats often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Fake Cola enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with his attitudes. He obviously didn't have to pass an intelligence test to get to where he is today, because his knowledge of how things work is completely off the mark. First of all, Fake Cola has a strategy. His strategy is to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him destroy the lives of good, honest people. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Fake Cola.

 

All I can tell you is what matters to me: His writings were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that name-calling and a general lack of respect for the opinions of others are a clear indication of insecurity. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: Fake Cola is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, Fake Cola throws principle to the wind. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that he is surely possessed by the devil. Of that I am certain, because this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to mock, ridicule, deprecate, and rebuke people for their religious beliefs. Not yet, at least. But perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of pompous, oppressive hoodlums. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that if Fake Cola gets his way, I might very well stampede into the abattoir. You may be surprised to learn that I was once like Fake Cola. I, too, wanted to institutionalize neopaganism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. It interfered with my judgment, my reasoning, and my ability to give you some background information about Fake Cola. Currently, he lacks the clout to toss sops to the egos of the rancorous. But quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "philoprogenitiveness", he will have enough worshippers to spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. I unmistakably don't want to have to hear his rambling streams of consciousness. Interestingly, he doesn't seem to care about that.

 

I could accept, perhaps, platitudes backed by the forces of logic and powerful reasoning. Newsgroup postings marked with hypocrisy and contradiction, however, merit none of my respect. Please don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. In fact, the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to comment on his plans for the future? For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: whenever Fake Cola finds himself confronted by the law, he insists it needs reforming. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different classes of lackluster tribalism.

 

The practical struggle which now begins, sketched in broad outlines, takes the following course: I try never to argue with him, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason. I firmly believe that Fake Cola's dupes allege, after performing shoddy research and utilizing threadbare scholarship, that a number of their enemies are planning to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that someone once said to me, "Fake Cola's priorities are inverted." This phrase struck me so forcefully that I have often used it since.

 

While the concept of broad-based peace and social justice coalitions remains desirable, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how there are lawsuits in Fake Cola's future. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. Fake Cola supports a wide variety of wheelings and dealings. Some are resentful; others are myopic. A few openly support emotionalism. To end this letter, I would like to make a bet with Mr. Fake Fake Cola. I will gladly give Fake Cola a day's salary if he can prove that he does the things he does "for the children", as he insists. If Fake Cola is unable to prove that, then his end of the bargain is to step aside while I review the basic issues at the root of the debate. So, do we have a bet, Fake Cola?

 

When I first heard about his contrivances, I dismissed them as merely dishonest. But when I later learned that Fake Cola wants me to cower before the emotions and accusations of others, I realized that if you've never seen Fake Cola condone universal oppression, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself.

 

It's my hunch that if sesquipedalianism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal. While there's no use crying over spilled milk, Fake Cola's put-downs are an abysmal carnival of propagandism. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that many people are shocked when I tell them that widespread expansionism is the price we'd pay for making "teleoroentgenography" a dirty word. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that he acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. Fake Cola's ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, his core principle has remained the same: to go to great lengths to conceal his true aims and mislead the public. If you don't believe me, then note that if Fake Cola isn't worthless, I don't know who is. Although he has never read carefully anything I've written, he is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because Fake Cola's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that his new changes will be even more infernal, because Fake Cola likes to cite poll results that "prove" that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Fake Cola claims that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. I respond that posterity will have little occasion to glorify his "heroic" existence in a new epic.

 

While it is reasonable to expect that soporific self-promoters tend to dismiss reason, science, and objective reality, it remains that if Fake Cola feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself. It is common knowledge that his recommendations are merely a stalking horse. They mask Fake Cola's secret intention to subjugate persons of culture, refinement, and learning to what I call lazy weasels. Everybody knows that Fake Cola's failure to ratchet up our level of understanding is so hate-filled that Fake Cola uses his ignorance as grounds for belligerence, but you should consider that Fake Cola's slaves tend to fall into the mistaken belief that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to Fake Cola's demands, mainly because they live inside a Fake Cola-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other.

 

I, hardheaded cynic that I am, would like to comment on his attempt to associate Fabianism with jingoism. There is no association. So, what's my take on Fake Cola's meretricious refrains? Simply this: He says that his activities are on the up-and-up. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. As for me, I have no bombs, no planes, no artillery, and no terrorist plots. But I do have weapons and tactics that are far more deadly: pure light and simple truth. If I said that Fake Cola has achieved sainthood, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being thoroughly honest if I said that what we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person -- every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility -- must concern himself with it.

 

His claim that society is screaming for his op-ed pieces is factually unsupported and politically motivated. I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner. Fake Cola's argument that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not is hopelessly flawed and utterly circuitous. What's the difference between Fake Cola's encomiasts, who are legion, and hopeless, crude extortionists? If you answered "nothing", then go to the front of the class; you're absolutely right. Unless Fake Cola could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else, it is simply wrong to conclude that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't.

 

I wish that some of his flunkies would ask themselves, "Why am I helping him pamper the worst types of macabre freebooters there are?" As a general rule, he wants to reinforce the concept of collective guilt that is the root of all prejudice. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. Fake Cola's evil excuses are an epiphenomenon of petulant tribalism. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that he ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Fake Cola can't possibly believe that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. He's stupid, but he's not that stupid.

 

Again, his revenge fantasies are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're completely abusive, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I don't care a brass farthing about what he thinks of me. Of that I am certain, because it seems clear that his sick fantasy fits neatly into his logorrheic model of society. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Fake Cola extend his 15 minutes of fame to 15 months. Fake Cola's inane prognoses can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance.

 

You may make the comment, "What does this have to do with frightful pamphleteers?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that there is a problem here. A large, morbid, stupid problem. Facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever Fake Cola dreams up. That proves that it would be charitable of me not to mention that I regret not writing this letter sooner. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that when I say that his cult followers are hardly strangers to oligarchism, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. This is a common fallacy held by harebrained hackers. He has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that if he gets his way, none of us will be able to empower the oppressed to control their own lives. Therefore, we must not let him turn bullies loose against us good citizens.

 

That other Cola is a fake.  For a mere $320 I will bang his face into his keyboard.  I wish I had new glasses so I could see his face getting smashed better instead of a being a red bloody blur.   Thank you for taking the time to hear me once again my friend.  I am the Real Cola.

 

-The Real Cola

 

A few hours later I send this.  I want to give him the impression that he is one step ahead of the Hacker….an indirect and contrived confidence builder.

 

Subject:           i giv u mony   

To:      "ajao sheriffdeen" <kola4001@yahoo.com>         

u no can sen mi guy ur 1 note

u lose

i win

u tel mi guy sen mony me

how muchs u want ?

u tel mi guy sen mony me  ok

i giv u mony

i giv u mony 1st     ok?

how muchs mony u want

u talk to me

i nic guy

 

DAY 13 - January 8

 

Subject:           your confermation     

hello elvis

i see ur last message you sent but all i want to tell you is that i have mail the hijackers of my old mails that they should pray that what happen to cola should happen to them by Almighty God becuase they want to wasterd another person soul beacuse of worldly things i know that is only God that knows everything in the earth and in the heaven; I pray to this hijackers of the two mail by the Almighty God that what happen to cola will surely happen to them (Amen) i have getting tied of mailling every time.

i told you that i am the real doctor that my old box has been hijack with kolas own but you refuse to believe me

because i usually browse at commercial cafe at the conference

Thanks

Dr.John

Notice Baord 1

elvis i want you to do this fevour for me pretending that you want to send those peoples money that you have already knows that they are hijackers and see what they will do

Notice Board 2

Elvis upon all information you have had from me and others you still don't believe me i am not asking you for a second about money but they are asking you several time can't you look at this

Notice Board 3

Elvis i know that all my information is in their hands with picture of the back of cola ask them to provide the front picture of cola but don't ask them as for now first ask them that you want to send them a lot of money and see with they will do

 

And some blah from Cola...

Subject:           cola

hello elvis

Doctor said i should stop giving you mail again that i  should hand over to him ok

thanks

cola

 

And to the Hijacker:

Subject:            i pray for you   

To:       dr_johnson012@yahoo.com    

hello guys

i want to pray for you that want heppen to cola will sure happen to you because you want to wasterd another person soul becuase you want to enjoy the money and other lifes money will wast please i want you to continue this bad job donation from the public so the boy see and you want to block it also block your way from generation to generation please continue with this Bad jod i love it from you. But remember what happen to you is from your hands

Thanks

Dr.John

 

The Hijacker writes him:

why u no work wit mi

why u do tis?

i nic guy lik i told u

u tell me trut ok

u be tru me i be ok wit u

 

He writes back to the Hijacker:

hello hijack

God will  return the diseases of cola to you or your next generation if you still insist that you will distop the donation for cola

Thanks

 

My Reply to him to keep him in the game.  Also I do this because I have a new plan for him and I am setting him up… 

 

Subject:           Agreement Offer       

To:      "ajao sheriff" <shero4001@yahoo.com>   

 

Hello.  I thank you very much for your email.  I feel that you are very sincere.  Since you are so sincere and I do get the impression that you are a good person, I want to make an agreement with you.  Hopefully this will make things easier for both you and me.  I want both you and I to have a relief from the stress of this. 

 

OK, here is what I offer to you because you are a sincere person and I really do like you:

 

A simple Agreement between YOU and ME (if you agree?):

 

I will not email these other guys at all and I will not send them any money at all for a Full 14 Days.  I will not contact anyone else but You for 14 days.  I also agree not to read or open any emails from them.  I will NOT email, read email, or reply to email from them.  I will only send and read email only from you and to you. 

 

But of course, if you agree, you have to do something!  You agree to send a picture and tell me in detail, what is going on.  No lies, nothing but the full truth.  Over the 14 days, you have to send me a picture of you and Cola together with a Sign that says “Elvis”.

 

OK, here is our agreement:

My 14 Day Agreement:

1.  Not Informing Anyone Of Our Agreement

2.  For 14 Days I Will Cut-off Email with these others

3.  No Reading Email From These Others

4.  No Sending Email To These Others

5.  Not Sending Any Money to Anyone

6.  Reading Email and Replying to Email Only From You

and To You (except emails from my wife)

 

Your 14 Day Agreement:

1.  Not Informing Anyone Of Our Agreement

2.  You Email and Contact Only Me (or to your family)

3.  Simply Tell the Truth:   

Why Your Email Was Stolen              

            Your Relationship with Cola 

            As many details of You and Cola as reasonably possible.

            You will email me as often as you reasonably can

4.Picture: 

            You and Cola together with "Elvis" Sign

 

Also, you agree, if I request, that you can and will email me another picture of both You And Cola with a sign with a different word (just to be sure that you are both the same people in the first picture and agree that I can change the word on the sign to a reasonable and respectable word and have a picture taken at a respectable and reasonable place)

 

So is it a deal?  I am a gentlemen and I agree to these terms right now.  I await your reply.

 

Elvis

 

So how about that for a deal?  Cola can’t pass this up!  I’m going to stop contacting the Hijacker and only contact him.  The reason for my plan, I want to get some documents (trophies) from him, I want to get him to get this hijacker thing off his mind so he can get working on those documents, and I have a really fun plan lined up for him after I get a few trophies.  Can you tell that I want the damn documents?

 

DAY 14 - January 9

 

Subject:           i was happy today      

hello elvis

i thank Almighty God for making you to come to an end with the thrute information and i also thank you also for bear with me since the day of hijack May God Bless all your needs (Amen) i know that you really want to help cola, so i received your message today i was very happy about it.  i agreed with you agreement i will  try and scan my picture with cola and i will send it to you. please i don't understand your Elvis signature you don't send your signature to me. please explain to me detail what you mean about your signature OK

Thanks

Dr Johnson 

Notice Board

Elvis i think you know that i am still in conference i will ask my friend to please and send his own pictures with cola and also all document you required before  doctor degree and lenience 

 

Subject:           less i forget    

hello elvis

less i forget

i need your phone number either land or mobile or you can contact me through the phone i gave you last 234-8023961808