This is one of my first attempts at Scambaiting, and my first published Scambait.  I would like to dedicate this bait and all its peculiar modalities to J.Dog, whose brilliant work will forever be the sine qua non of the cunning and timeless art of Scambaiting.  Without further ado, let the drama unfold!

 

 

Ana L. Felcher v. Mary Benson

 

A Scambaiting Farce In 3 Acts (and Epilogue)

Featuring:

Filth!

Lies!

Trophies!

 

 

Cast of Characters:

 

Ana Lucy Felcher – God-fearing widow of the late industrialist/philanderer Phisting W. Felcher

Mary Benson – Daughter of the late Dr. Benson Smith, rich gold merchant

Dr. Usman Bello – Director of Customer Service, International Bank of Africa

Richard “Dick” Lovely, Esq. – Attorney-at-law representing Mrs. Felcher

Stin K. Anis – Assistant to Mr. Lovely

 

_______________________________________

 

Act I – A Plea from Miss Mary

_______________________________________

 

 

Date           Sun, 30 May 2004

From          Mary Benson

Subject       APEAL FOR THE TRANFER OF FUND.

 

Dear Sir/Madam, I write with tears and confidence in God almighty that you will give this proposal an urgent attention. I am Miss Mary Benson daughter to the late Dr/Mrs Benson Smith who were killed by the rebel forces on their way to Abidjan,ecomomic capital of Cote D Ivoire for a business meeting.As it may interest you.My parents were rich gold merchant before their death.May their soul rest in perfect peace.Infact they were so a carering parents who we were not suppose to miss very untimely like this.But I believe God knows why it happens that way.It will be too unwise to questions him. Well my parent banked the sum of $15 Million(fifteen millionU.S Dollar) with a bank here and used my my names as the next of kin to the fund.I am still too young to manage this fund properly,and our family members are bent on me declaring my parents assets,so that they could collect it from me,and then turn me into perpectual begger.But I have blundly refuse to that.My parent before their dearth told me incase something of this nature happens I should source out a God?s fearing foreigner who will help me transfer the money abroad where I will further my education and for the investment of the fund. Based on this this,I asked your assistance in the following. (1) Could you provide for me a safe Bank Account where this fund will be transferred to in your country or another neaarby country where taxation will not takegreat toll on the money? (2) Could you be able to assist me to obtain my travelling papers after this transfer to enable me come over to meet you in your country for come over to meet you in your country for come over to meet you in your country for come over to meet you in your country for theinvestment of this money? (3) Part of the money will be used as donation to charity organisation and less privillage ones because i do not need all this money alone when i know that a lot of people need help expecially the orhan and motheless ones. 4.)You will assist me get a school so that i could further my education. For your assistance in this transaction, I have decided to offer you 20% percent commission of the total amount for what and all you will put up in this transaction. If God touches your heart to assist us,feel free to contact me so that we can give you the details and bank that is involved in this transaction. Thank you very much for your assistanse.

 

God bless you.

Amen

Mary Benson

 

 

Mrs. Felcher offers Mary a helping hand!

 

Date           Mon, 31 May 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher      

To              Mary Benson         

Subject       APEAL FOR THE TRANFER OF FUND.

 

My dearest Mary: I would like to help you. I am living on a fixed income and I could use these funds. My church will be so delighted when I donate these funds to their coffers. The Holy Church of Manass will be righteous once again with the Lord, Praise Jesus! I would like you to think of me as your dear mother. I am attaching a photo of myself for you to look at when you think of me. Please call me "Mother". How can I get these funds secured in my account so I can help you?

 

Ana Lucy Felcher

(Widow)


 

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 1 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       PLEASE SEND IT URGENTLY.MARY.

 

Dear Mother Ana Lucy Felcher, Good morning to you and thank you very much for your response.I now know that God has design something very special for me.Well like i said in my proposal,i will want you to help me in the transfer of this sum $15.000.000.000 U.S dollar into your account.The current political situation is more than hectic and i do not want to continue here. So i contacted the bank in respect to this transfer.They ask i should send your particulars to them.So you are requested to send the following to me so that i will forward same to the bank for the transfer. 1.your full name. 2.your direct telephone and fax numbers. 3.your home and office address.. 4.your bank account where you will want to money transfered to. Please mother Ana,i want you to hastern up as the rebel in our country has vowed to carry out another offensive since the government is refusing to inplement the peace agreement. I wait your urgent mail.

Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 1 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Here are my particulars, dear daughter

 

My Dearest Daughter Mary:

Oh dear, I'm sure you are mistaking me for a worldly lady who has a fax machine! Oh dear! I'm afraid I would not be able to figure out how one of those machines works. Is there a little man inside who types on the paper? How do they get the little man inside the box? And where do they find the little man? Is he a "pygmy" chap? Dear, you may call me on my line, 1-801-315-6228. But I am a little hard of hearing and may not hear the phone ringing. Here are my particulars in case you need them for the transfer of funds:

 

Ana Lucy Felcher

5972 Poppycock Ln.

Buttock Forge, NY 10078

 

Bank Account No.: 3578-9886-0334

Bank Name: Colonial United National Trust

Branch Location: Greater Teaneck, NY

 

If you could please have the funds transferred to my account as soon as possible, I would be so grateful!

 

Love in Christ Jesus,

Ana Lucy Felcher

 

 

The incomparable Dr. Usman Bello makes an appearance!

 

 

Date           Wed, 2 Jun 2004

From          Usman Bello

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       FROM INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA.

 

FROM THE OFFICE OF DR.USMAN BELLO, DIRECTOR CUSTOMER SERVICE, INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA, ABIDJAN,COTE D IVOIRE. TEL.+225 05428972. FAX.+225 2320386064. EMAIL interbankafricplc@yahoo.com ATTENTION MADAM, THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT ONE MISS MARY BENSON WHO IS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE SUM OF $15.000.000.000 U.S DOLLARS IN OUR BANK FROM HER LATE FATHER DR.BENSON SMITH INFORM AND GAVE YOUR INFORMATION TO THIS BANK FOR THE ONWARD TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.YOU ARE PLEASE REQUESTED TO COMFIRM THIS SO THAT YOU WILL BE INFORMED ON THE NECCESSARY DETAILS ON THE TRANSFER OF THIS FUND. THANKS. DR.USMAN BELLO

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 2 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       DEAREST MUMMY PLEASE DO IT FAST.

 

Dearest Mother, Good morning to you.I hope you are alright.I am fine as well.The only problem is that there is fear and tension all over the place since the rebels were droped by the present government who were members of the reconciliation government.There is fear that they might strike again.So i will please ask you to hurry up so that the money can be transfered and i will come over to join you. I have forwarded your information to the bank for the transfer of the fund.i hope they have contacted you? Please keep me informed. I will hope to hear from you. Thanks you mummy,

Yours daughter, Mary Benson.

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 2 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher      

To              Mary Benson         

Subject       DEAREST MUMMY PLEASE DO IT FAST.     

 

Dearest daughter: I received an email from the bank, but I am too old and frail to deal with banks and the like. It is too scary a proposition to deal with businessmen from halfway around the world. I would rather deal exclusively with you, my dear. Please tell me where I can send funds that will enable you to carry out this transaction. I am counting on you, dear daughter!

Ana Lucy Felcher

Widow

 

 

I’m not sure I can extract a trophy from Usman Bello, so I will attempt to keep Mary Benson in the picture!

 

 

Date           Wed, 2 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher      

To              Usman Bello            

Subject       FROM INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA.           

 

Thank you Mr. Bello, but I am dealing with Mary Benson in this transaction, and do not trust others to carry out the transaction in a manner that will help her. I do not trust bankers and the like. Thank you.

Ana Lucy Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 3 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       THE AMOUNT THE BANK REQUESTED.       

 

Dearest Mummy, Good morning to you.I receive your mail and i quikely ran the bank concerning what you said.They agreed.Well they said that before they money can be transfered into your account.That they need to get the following documents in favour of this fund.And it has to be done by their bank legal attachee. 1.NOTORIASATION LETTER. 2.RECEIEVING ORDER CERTIFICATION. They said,They need the total sum of $4200 U.S Dollars in getting this documents from the various ministries .And that as soon as they receive the money,they bank legal attachee will get the documents for us and the money will be transfered within the next 24 hours. Mummy i am not suppose to borther you with this problem,but the fact is that since the war started in our country,I manage to flee from my city that is the rebel strong hold and has spent all the physical cash i have with me.It pains me that i have to borther you,but then there is nothing i could do.I also tried to persuade them to dedute money from the account.They told me,the $15.000.000.000 is in their Escrow suspense account,and can only be transfered when this documents are obtain. Mummy,please help me in the name of God so that this money can be transfered and i quikely leave for your country without any other delay. Please mail me so that i can tell you how to send the money to me so that i will forward it to the bank for neccessary action. Thank you mummy for everything. I promise you will never regret meeting me.

God bless you. Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 3 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher      

To              Mary Benson         

Subject       THE AMOUNT THE BANK REQUESTED.       

 

Thank you dear daughter. That nasty Usman Bello fellow gave me the creeps. I find that man to be extremely distasteful, and banks in general are such disgusting institutions. As you say, you need $4,200 US dollars. I will only be able to wire you $2,100 at a time. Here is my proposal: I will wire you $2,100. You will then respond to me with a photograph of yourself holding a sign with my name written on it, so that I know who I am dealing with and am confident that you are indeed a trustworthy person. When I receive the photograph, I will then wire you the remaining $2,100. I am taking a huge risk by sending you the initial $2,100 without proof of identity. This will show how much I trust you, dear daughter. Please respond in agreement with this proposal and I will immediately wire you the first installment of $2,100. Please respond with Christ's urgency. Thank you my daughter.

Love in Christ Jesus,

Ana L. Felcher Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 4 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       YOU CAN SEND THE $2100 AS PROPOSE AND SEND THE CONTROL NUMBERS TO ME.

 

 Dearest mother, Good morning to you.Thank you very much for your response and assistance.Well as a matter of fact,i have heard you and i pray God should bless you abundantly. I have accepted your proposal and i wish to use this opportunity to say,You are such a wonderful mother. So all you need to do is go to the neasrest western union Money transfer and send the money.It is the fastest means of sending money and i will receive it immediately. The name is MARY BENSON. CITY.ABIDJAN. COUNTRY.COTE D IVOIRE. As soon as you send the $2100 today,you can send the control numbers,security question and answer to me so that i will be able to collect the money. I hope if we are able to finish these this week,first thing monday or tuesday,the money will be transfered. I wait for the control numbers.

Yours daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 4 Jun 2004

From          Usman Bello            

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       FROM INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA.

 

FROM DR.USMAN BELLO, INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA. ABIDJAN,COTE D IVOIRE. TEL.+225 05428972. FAX.+225 20 386056. ATTENTION MADAM, THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL.WE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR POSITION IS UNDERSTOOD AND YOUR INSTRUCTED NOTE.WELL WE HAVE INSTRUCTED YOUR PARTNER MISS MARY BENSON ON THE SUBJUCT AND THE BANK REQUEST. WE WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT AS SOON AS YOUR PARTNER IS ABLE TO SEND THE FUND TO THIS BANK.THE BANK ATTORNEY WILL GO TO THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND JUSTICE TO GET THIS DOCUMENTS.THEN THE TRANSFER PROPER WILL BE EFFECTED WITHOUT ANY MORE DIFFICULTY. IT IS OUR PLEASURE. THANKS AND SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOU.

DR.USMAN BELLO.

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 4 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       GOD BLESS AND GUIDE US AS WE PROCEED.

 

Dearest mother Phisting [!!!], Good evenning to you.I hope you are fine and receive my mail in good health? glory to God in the hightest.Like i said,You can transfer the money through western union money transfer because it is the fastest and safest means of sending and receiving money.I thank you for giving me the trust and the opportunity to prove it.I will assure and reaffirm my total honesty and promises never to let you down. Look for everything in life,there is always a purpose.The purpose and our existence and our meeting is design by GOd almighty.Praise him for he alone is faithful and righteous till eternty. I wait for the information to receive the money.

Thanks, Yours daughter,

Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Sat, 5 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       FROM MARY.    

 

Dearest Mother Phisting, Good morning to you.I write to know why i did not hear from you .i hope all is find? What is happenning.I am worried since i could not hear from you.Are you also sending the fund or have you sent it? I will be greatful to hear from you. Have a wonderful day and God bless.

Yours daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Sat, 5 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

To              Ana L. Felcher      

Subject       MUM I AM WORRIED.

 

Dearest mother Ana L. Felcher, Greetings again in the name of almighty God. I write again as i have not heard from you.I just hope all is well? Please mum,try and write me because i am anxious and worried since i did not hear from you. Stay blessed with the lord. I wait your mail mum.

Mary.

 

 

Time to throw a wrench into the works!

 

Date           Sat, 5 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Re: MUM I AM WORRIED.

 

Dearest Mary:

I am sorry dear, I was taken to the hospital because my heart was beating irregularly. The doctors say I need to take these funny little pills. Aren't pills funny? They're round but they don't say anything! That makes me laugh. I have forgotten what our business was. I went to Western Union earlier today and transmitted $1,000 to a "Bissman Doe" fellow about a security deposit company. I have wired so much money lately, I have forgotten who I am wiring it to. I have an appointment with my attorney next week and he says I should not be wiring any money to anyone. Dear Mary, I am afraid I am getting senile in my old age. Please remind me what our business was. I hope you are not in any distress, my dear. I would like to help you any way I can. Please God have mercy on my soul.

All Christ's Love,

from your Mother

Ana Lucy Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Sun, 6 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       MUMMY Ana GOD BLESS YOU.

 

Dearest Mother Ana Lucy Felcher, Good morning to you.I sorry for the ill health.I hope you recover soon. Mummy,my business was that i had seek your assistance in transfering the money my father will to me. The bank requested the sum of $4200 for the two documents before the transfer. you said you were going to send me the sum of $2100 first after which you will send the remaining balance if i send myself holding your name. Mummy,please in the name of God,i beg you to hurry up because the country is politically unstable now.The rebel still maintain their stance on launching another serious offensive since they were droped by the power sharing government.I want you mummy to please send the money by monday so that i can go to the bank and they obtain the documents and the money transfered into your the account you gave immediately. Bear in mind that God is good to us,and has choosen you to help me. [God does indeed work in strange ways!]  In case you forget, the name you will use in sending the money. NAME.....MARY BENSON. CITY.......ABIDJAN. COUNTRY.....COTE D IVOIRE. As soon as you send the money,you should forward all the information to me for the collection from the western union.including the control numbers and security question and anwer. God bless you. I wait your urgent response.

Yours lovely daughter,

Mary Benson.

 

 

 

 

Date           Sun, 6 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Please collect your funds

 

Dearest Mary:

I have gone to the Western Union website and obtained their latest program for securely and safely sending money through their agency. This is called WUXFER. It is all set up for you to receive a secret 10 digit Control Number. Please copy and paste this link into your web browser, press go, and wait for the connection to take place. http://hosted-sites.us/wuxfer.gif Once the connection is made type in my name “Ana Lucy Felcher” and you will receive all the information to collect the first payment of $2,100 US. This method keeps me from having to carry the $2,100 to the Western Union office and take the chance of being robbed, or worse. Please allow plenty of time for the connection to take place. The gentleman at the office said not to use the computer for any other purpose while waiting. Let me know as soon as the transfer is complete. I trust you will use these funds for godly purposes, and not waste them on illicit drugs or other such balderdash. Please Mary I am trusting in you to do the right thing by the Lord Almighty.

All my love in Christ,

Ana L. Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

 

Date           Mon, 7 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       I WAIT YOUR URGENT MAIL.MARY.

 

 Dearest mother Ana Lucy Felcher , Good morning to you.I just receive the mail you sent to me.Well i am browsing to get the information you asked of.But the connection is simple too slow.Please you could try it from your end too and give me the ten digit information. I have always promise to use this fund for this very transfer and nothing more.I know very sooon,you will know how truthful i am. Mummy i long seeing you soon,because i am beginning to imagine how kind you could be.I forgot one question. Mummy,do you have a child or children? I wait the anwser and the control numbers.

Thanks,

Your daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Mon, 7 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       MUMMY ACT NOW FAST.MARY.

 

Dear Mother Ana Lucy Felcher , I write again because of the complex nature of the information you sent to me. I have spent four good hours trying to get at the information,to no avail. I could only get at verifying transfer.Please could you call the western union and ask them for the information and pass it to me immediately. MummyYou need to hurry up as i wil want this transfer completed this week. Just contact them and tell them to give you all the information,and then you can pass it down to me. I want you to know that you are a God"s sent to be with promises that i will never let you down. Christ our witness. I hope to receive it now from you.

Yours lovely daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Mon, 7 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       I will do my best, Mary

 

Dearest Mary:

I am an old woman and am not too "up to date" with the way these computers and transfers work. My dear friend Bissman Doe of Lagos, Nigeria receives funds this way every week from me to keep his orphanage in steady repair. I send Mr. Doe $1,000 each Monday from my Western Union account using this exact same transfer method. He had some problems at first with the slowness of the transfer, but when he finally grew accustomed to it, he never complained again. I guess the world moves much faster nowadays for you young people!! Darling daughter, the secret control numbers are unknown to me, I guess I could call the office and talk to the nice gentleman and retrieve them for you. I really would like to see a photograph of you first before I do that for you. It would put my mind at ease about our transaction. Mr. Doe was kind of enough to send me a photo of himself holding my name on a sign, and I have that photo framed on my desk, Mr. Doe smiling at me every day! It makes my heart sing with gladness knowing that so many orphans in Lagos are enjoying their porridge due to my monetary contributions. Mary, please send me a photo of your smiling face, holding a sign with my name. I would be even more grateful if you would say something nice like "I love Ana L. Felcher". That would make my heart glad! Send it to me, dear Mary, and I will make sure the Western Union man forwards you all the funds today.

Yours in Christ Amen,

Ana L. Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 8 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson         

 To             Ana L. Felcher

Subject       IF YOU INSIST I WILL SEND IT TO YOU LATER IN THE DAY.

 

 Dearest Mother Ana, Good morning to you.I just receive your mail and the contents understood.Well that was not your usual proposal.You said you will send the first payment,and after you receive the photograph,you will send the second payment.Well mummy,it seems you are not trusting me any longer.I know how you feel and i understand your reasons.But i want you to understand that my words should be binding and should be the major prove to this transaction.Anyway if you insist,i will do that and send it to you later in the day. Once again,i thank you for everything.I pray the almighty God bless and guide us in Jesus name.

Yours lovely daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 8 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       IF YOU INSIST I WILL SEND IT TO YOU LATER IN THE DAY.

 

 Darling - I read your letter with sadness. Of course I trust you, Mary, but I must see some proof of who you are. This is the internet, after all, and you could be just about anyone saying they are you. I do trust YOU, Mary, I just don't trust someone else saying that they are you. Do we understand each other? I would never want to lose your love for me, darling daughter. I am waiting for the picture, and then I will send you some funds. I hope they will be enough, but a couple thousand dollars just doesn't go very far these days like it used to. I used to be able to have a very nice weekend in Florida for that amount with General Harding. Oh now there was a man for you! Mary, do you have a husband? Or do you have a boyfriend? Please tell me more about your personal life, my dear. I love you, my dear.

Love in Christ,

Ana L Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 8 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       ATTACHMENT.MY PHOTOGRAPH.               

 

Dearest Mother Ana, Good day to you again.I have receive the photograph from the photographer and hereby attach it as requested by you. Mummy,Please i want you to do all you can so that i can receive the money from the western union by tomorrow so that they transfer can be effected before friday. Please send the ten digit information and other information as you promise. I am relying wholely on you. God bless you in Jesus Name.

Amen.

Yours lovely daughter in Christ, Mary.

 

 

My very first trophy!  But not exactly what I had asked for.  Let’s try again, shall we?

 

 

Date           Tue, 8 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher

To              Mary Benson

Subject       ATTACHMENT.MY PHOTOGRAPH.

 

Dear Mary:

 

Thank you so much, I am about to wire you the funds as promised.  But I

would like you to send me another photo without the "Lucy" and just the

"L".  Lucy was my first husband's name, the scoundrel ran off with my

sister and I never heard from him again.  Lucy is a name I only use

officially, and I want to have your picture hanging above my desk so I

can look at it every day, darling.  Please have the sign say:  "I Love

Ana L Felcher"

As soon as I receive the photo I will send the money along. I love you,

my dear.

 

Love in Christ,

Ana Lucy Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 9 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       I SENT THE ATTACHMENT AT ABOUT 18 TO 18.30 G.M.T.

 

Dearest Mother Ana, Good morning again.I sent the photograph yesterday to you. So what is still keeping you from sending the fund. Your question.I do not have a boy friend now as i am a born again christain. And i am not married now.So Mother,please i want you to send the fund on time, because the government just fired at the rebel position,and they could be a kind of retaliation from the rebel side,and that could be war.I want us to make sure that this transfer do not go beyond thursday. Go through my last mail and you will find the attachment and please i am waiting for the information * to collect the fund.

Yours lovely daughter, Mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 9 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Please please dear child

 

 Please, please, dear child, send me the photo with "Ana L. Felcher", not "Ana Lucy Felcher". It just hurts my heart too much to see my late husband's name on your photograph. It hurts me to my soul, bless Christ. Please, darling child, and immediately upon receipt of photograph I will send you all the remaining funds so as to commence this transaction. Please hurry, dear child!

Love in Christ,

Ana L. Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 9 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Funds are waiting to be released

 

 Dearest Mary: Today I walked down to the Western Union office, it was very hot out and it took a lot of effort for me exert such energy. The nice gentleman at the office informed me that it would be more efficient for me to send you the money by wire and not on the internet, and so I will be sending you the first installment by Western Union in the usual method. I told the gentleman I would call him to authorize release of the first payment. As soon as I receive my photo from you my darling daughter, I will telephone the gentleman and he will release the funds. I will send you the control numbers and you can pick up the money at the office nearest you. I hope there is a Western Union office close to where you are living, the nice gentleman assured me that they are everywhere. I await your photo, my dear daughter, and then we can continue with our transaction. I am looking forward to securing the funds you promised. God bless.

Love in Christ,

Ana L. Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 10 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       ATTACHMENT.

 

 Dearest Mother, Good day to you.I receive your mail,and i know within myself that the reason you gave was not enough to justify your sending the fund,except there is another thing altogether.I wrote your full name just to make it look even more than you asked for.all the same,i have just done as you instructed. Bear in mind that you told you,you have sent the fund and with a website to get the money,but today,a different story.The truth is that i am still not sure of what is going on.Anyway,i will kep my finger crossed.If really,God touches your heart to help me,i know certainly he will. It will be wish and bold enough to tell me i you will really help me. Do as your mind tells you to.I wait for the control numbers.

Mary.

 

 

 

She has her suspicions, but in the end she delivers the goods!  Ladies and gentlemen, the anal felcher trophy is mine! Behold:


 

 

Date           Thu, 10 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Re: ATTACHMENT.

 

Darling daughter, you have pleased me with your actions, for you know that the good Lord will look upon you with gladness and his Almighty hand will stroke your bosom. This picture pleases me greatly, and I will have it framed and placed above my desk. I love you daughter with all my heart, and I am on my way to Western Union today to send you the entire amount. Was it $4,200? You will have that money today, darling daughter, and we may continue with our transaction. Thank you so much, dear daughter, you have made my heart so glad.

Love in Christ,

Mother Ana L Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 10 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       Re: ATTACHMENT.

 

My dear, how should I send this money? Should I send it to "Mary Benson"? The control question will be: "Who is bathed in the baby lamb of Jesus's blood?" And the answer will be: "Christ Amen". Hurry, my dear, I do not want this money sitting around my house much longer, I am afraid of being robbed.

Love in Christ,

Ana L. Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 11 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson                      

To              Ana L. Felcher                   

Subject       YOU SHOULD SEND THE FUNDS WITH MARY BENSON.

 

Dearest Mother Ana, Good morning to you my dear Mother.I am happy first of all that you are fine and healthy which is the most important thing to me. Yes i will want you to send the money to my name. NAME... MARY BENSON. CITY... ABIDJAN... COUNTRY....COTE D IVOIRE. I wait the information to receive the fund today. Once again I thank you very much.I pray the good Lord bless and protect you until we see in person.Amen.

Yours daughter, Mary .

 

_______________________________________

 

Act II – A Peculiar Turn of Events

_______________________________________

 

 

Date           Fri, 11 Jun 2004 4:49 PM 

From          Richard Lovely, Esq.

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Regarding Ana Lucy Felcher

 

Dear Mary Benson:

 

Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Mrs. Ana Lucy Felcher's attorney at

law, Mr. Richard "Dick" Lovely, Esq.  Mrs. Felcher will be indisposed for a good deal of time due to her incarceration in a mental institution in Greater Teaneck.  As I am sure you know from corresponding with her, the recent death of her husband from a bout of Derbyshire Neck has made her mentally unstable and unfit for normal human intercourse.  I attach hereto a newspaper clipping from the Greater Teaneck Standard Journal which should be self-explanatory regarding her situation.  I do have in my possession a draft Western Union telegram in the amount of One Thousand Dollars with "Mary Benson" named as recipient.  I have no other choice legally but to send it on to the proper beneficiary, and if that is yourself, please advise me thereof.  I would like to complete this transaction as soon as possible.  In the meantime, please advise me regarding the particularities of the financial transaction this pertains to, and what legal documents I may be called upon to draw up, as I am unable to retrieve previous e-mail messages to Mrs. Felcher regarding this transaction.  Thanking you for your prompt and courteous  attention to this email,

 

Dick Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Sat, 12 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Richard Lovely, Esq.

Subject       FROM MARY BENSON.

 

Dear Mr Richard,

Good  morning to you.Well,I am the real person,Miss Mary Benson.

Well the state of the funds now is that,the bank requested us to get

1.Notoriasation Letter.

2.Receiving orders certificate.And that is the only thing we expect to receive from the various ministries,and the funds transfered.

So you can go ahead to send the fund to me to get this documents with my name.

MARY.        BENSON.

CITY  .       .ABIDJAN.

COUNTRY.COTE D IVOIRE.

The only document i think you might only be called to draw might be an agreement letter that will be respected by the both parties.Please try and send the money by western union and give me the information to collect so that this transaction can be completed now.

Mary.

 

 

Stin K. Anis enters the picture . . . should I get greedy and try for a “Stin K. Anis” trophy?

 

 

Date           Sat, 12 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Transaction formalities

 

To Mary Benson:

 

My name is Stin K. Anis.  I am legal assistant to Dick Lovely, Esq.  I

have been assigned with the task of finalizing the documentation

regarding your assignation and receivership of Mrs. Ana Lucy Felcher’s

capital assets in the amount of $4,200, plus interest.  For your

information, interest is accruing on this principal amount at the rate of

15% per annum.  So you should feel no rush to have these funds expedited

– the rate they are collecting interest is the highest rate you could

find for an investment anywhere in the world.  The documentation Mr.

Lovely will require is very simple and should not take long to complete

and process.  Mr. Lovely will need to see a photocopy of your passport or

valid driver’s license.  Of course, the photo should match the picture

you sent Mrs. Felcher holding the sign with her name.  It is fortunate

that you sent that photo, Mrs. Benson, as without it we would not have

taken the claim seriously that you indeed were the Mrs. Benson the

capital assets were earmarked for.  Secondly, please review, sign and

date the attached Promissory Note.  Then send back the original executed

copy via email.  This Note will secure the gift for tax purposes.  Mrs.

Felcher intends these monies to transfer to you as a gift, but must for

tax purposes show the transfer as a loan. 

 

Once we have received these items, we will proceed to transfer your

monies.  Thank you very much for taking the time to complete these

formalities.  We look forward to serving you in any legal capacity in the

future.

 

Yours truly,

 

Stin K. Anis

Assistant to Richard “Dick” Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

 

Date           Mon, 14 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Richard Lovely, Esq.

Subject       PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS MAIL

 

Dear Sir,

Good morning to you.I hope you will not be embarrased by this mail. [WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I BE EMBARRASSED? YOU’RE THE ONE HOLDING THE ANAL FELCHER SIGN!] You see it is as a result of the way this issue has been going.I will be requested to send this and later the other.but i hope this will be the last.you see,i would want you to consider my plight and do attend to my need.

Anyway,i will send the copy of my passport and the promissory note after the attestation as soon as i read your mail.

thanks,

your faithfully,

Mary.

 

 

 

Oooh, if there’s anything that burns me up it’s a whining scammer!  Let’s put the fear of God into her, shall we?

 

 

Date           Mon, 14 Jun 2004

From          Richard Lovely, Esq.

To              Mary Benson

Subject       PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS MAIL.

 

Dear Mrs. Benson:

 

If I read your letter correctly, you are not interested in receiving the

funds Mrs. Felcher left aside for you.  If that is indeed the case, I am

sure our firm can locate some other worthy charity to receive these

funds.  Thank you for your frank and candid honesty in this regard.

Good luck in the future.

 

Richard "Dick" Lovely

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

Date           Tue, 15 Jun 2004 3:53 AM 

From          Mary Benson

To              Richard Lovely

Subject       ATTACHMENT.PASSPORT

 

Dear Sir,

Good day to you.I hereby attach the passport and the promissory note.

As usual,you use use the name in sending the fund.

1.name.Mary Benson.

2.City.Abidjan.

3.Country..Cote D Ivoire.

I wait your mail.

Mary

 

 



That’s more like it, Mary!

 

Date           Tue, 15 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       ATTACHMENT.PROMISSORY NOTE.

 

Dear Mrs. Benson: Mr. Lovely is presently attending a trial. I am his assistant, Mr. Stin K. Anis. I am in receipt of your signed "Balloon Payment" and passport photo. Thank you for taking the time to send said documentation. I am currently processing the information and will presently attend to wiring you said funds. I believe the total amount Mrs. Felcher had set aside for you was $4,200. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

 

Stin K. Anis

Assistant to Richard Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 16 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Stin K. Anis

Subject       FROM MARY BENSON.

 

Dear Stin, Good morning to you.I read your mail. Well let me believe God in his infinite mercy that he will manifest his will.I believe if it the will of God that i get the funds,then,let his will be done. I will wait for the control numbers and other information to receive the fund from the western union. God bless you.

Thanks, Mary.

 

 

 

Memo to God:  you need to reassess the priorities in your manifest will, big guy!

 

Date           Wed, 16 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       First installment sent today

 

Dear Mary:

Good morning. I have sent my secretary to the Western Union office and she has successfully sent 50% of your payment to you. I am attaching the scanned receipt for your convenience. Western Union is unable to transfer more than $2,000 at one time, and so we will be sending you the second installment of $2,000 before close of business tomorrow. Next week we will send you the remaining $200. Thank you for your patience in this regard. I have been reading Mrs. Felcher's transfer papers more closely, and I noticed that she was planning to provide a "Mrs. Mary Benson" with a monthly allowance of $1,000. I assume she is referring to you. Mrs. Felcher is in a coma presently, but the doctors say she should recover soon and be fit enough to return home. We cannot proceed with this allowance until we get a signed note from her in this regard. As soon as she is conscious and able to convey to us her intent in this regard, you should be receiving your monthly stipend. I am sure you will put the money to good use. Thank you for your patience in these dealings, and please contact me if there is any problem with regard to the money transfer.

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v299/AnaLucyFelcher/Mary_Benson_061504_WU_transfer.jpg

 

Sincerely,

Stin K. Anis

Assistant to Richard Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Wed, 16 Jun 2004 6:07 PM 

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Confirm, please

 

Dear Ms. Benson:

Please confirm that you have received the first installment of $2,000 via Western Union so that I can instruct my secretary to send the second installment tomorrow. Thank you.

 

Stin K. Anis

Assistant to Richard Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 17 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Richard Lovely, Esq.

Subject       AS SOON AS I COMFIRM IT I WILL MAIL YOU.

 

Dear Sir, Good day to you.I just receive the mail this morning and i am about leaving for western union,and as soon as i comfirm it,i will write you immediately.

Thanks, Mary.

 

_______________________________________

 

Act IIIThe Worm Will Turn

_______________________________________

 

 

Date           Thu, 17 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Richard Lovely, Esq.

Subject       you think you are smath.we are the same.

 

I will advice you stop writing me.you think you are smath.you think i will so foolish o send my real photograph to you idiot.the photograph belong to some one who do not know the grafity of what i am doing.so that is it.it is all a game. someday i will teach you what makes me a black African. no name like mary.

 

 

 

 

Date           Thu, 17 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       you think you are smath.we are the same.

 

Dear Mary Benson: What on God's earth are you talking about? Trust me, we do not believe we are "smath". We do not even know what "smath" means. Please clarify. We are awaiting confirmation of your receipt of $2,000 via western union. Please confirm. We are ready to send the second installment.

 

Stin K. Anis

Assistant to Richard Lovely, Esq.

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 18 Jun 2004

From          Mary Benson

To              Stin K. Anis

Subject       i hope you understand me for the last time.

 

What do you call yourself.i will advice you let me alone ans stop disturbing my peace. Good luck.

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 18 Jun 2004

From          Richard Lovely, Esq.

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Please respond IMMEDIATELY - funds await

 

Dear Mary Benson: I am holding $2,000 to send you via Western Union. Is it your intention that you do NOT want these funds to be sent to you? Please respond IMMEDIATELY.

 

Richard "Dick" Lovely

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

 

Date           Fri, 18 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       DO NOT TRUST HIM!

 

Dear Mrs. Benson:

I have just been terminated by Mr. Lovely's office because I have learned the truth about his operation. Mrs. Benson, please cease and desist from dealing with this man IMMEDIATELY! He is a fraudster and is deeply involved with money laundering his clients' trust funds. He has siphoned most of Mrs. Felcher's funds from her account to enrich himself, and was trying to put the blame on me! I beseech you, Mrs. Benson, do not have anything more to do with Richard Lovely, the bane of Buttock Forge! Mrs. Felcher will be out of the hospital any day now, and when she is safely back at home, I will see her and set her straight about Mr. Lovely's shenanigans. She will be furious! She will fire him as her lawyer, and I am sure she will want to set things straight with you. I am working for you, Mrs. Benson, as I believe you are a trustworhty person, and I will see to it that you receive your rightful funds! Mr. Lovely is a SCOUNDREL! DO NOT TRUST HIM! He is a LYING SACK OF SHIT!

 

Yours very truly,

Stin K. Anis

 

 

 

 

Date           Mon, 21 Jun 2004

From          Richard Lovely, Esq.

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Mary Benson, ANAL FELCHER

 

Dear Mary:

Hi, just wanted to let you know I have a photo of you declaring yourself to be an "ANAL FELCHER", and I have posted it on the internet for everyone to see. Right this minute there are thousands and thousands of people looking at it and laughing their asses off! Do you know what an anal felcher is, Mary? HA HA HA HA HA HA. Right now members of your family are looking at your picture on the internet and laughing their asses off. You are a despicable 419 scammer and now you are the laughing-stock of the internet! HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Love in Christ,

Richard Lovely

 

 

 

 

Date           Sun, 20 Jun 2004 4:17 PM 

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       Please respond

 

Dear Mary Benson: I have now set up my own law practice. I would like to continue our transaction and see if it can lead to a mutually satisfactory conclusion. I would like to wire you the funds necessary to complete the transaction. Please respond immediately.

 

Stin K. Anis

Attorney-at-Law

 

 

 

Some extremely unprofessional behavior on Mr. Anis’s part!

 

Date           Mon, 21 Jun 2004

From          Stin K. Anis

To              Mary Benson

Subject       I want you Dear Mary

 

I am attaching a photo of myself. I am in love with you. Your promise of anal felching has left me turgid and vibrant. Please write back!

 

 

Stin K. Anis

Attorney-at-Law

 

_______________________________________

 

Epilogue

Mrs. Benson is severely castigated for her lack of morals

by the doyenne of Buttock Forge

_______________________________________

 

 

Date           Mon, 21 Jun 2004

From          Ana L. Felcher                   

To              Mary Benson                      

Subject       My dear Mary

 

My dearest Mary: My dear child, I'm out of the hospital now, I was declared sane and my Derbyshire Neck has settled down. I was surfing on the internet and came across the photo you sent me holding a sign that says "I LOVE ANAL FELCHER". Oh dear me, do you have any idea what that means? It means you love to SUCK SEMEN OUT OF ANUSES. My dear child, that is not a godly activity, and I hope you will cease immediately your nasty felching ways! Please do not contact me again until you have reformed yourself. I will not have anything to do with a felcher.

 

Love in Christ Amen,

Ana Lucy Felcher

Widow

 

 

 

[END]

 

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