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TITLE: Wanted: Dead or Dead
SCAMMER NAME: Tommy Mark/Lewis Seth
SCAMMER LOCATION: Republic of Benin
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers

A change from the usual 419 type scam now. Here we have a scammer selling non existant puppies.

 

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 25, 2006
Subject: Puppy for sale

my is clement i am from barrytown(new york) but due to work presntly i was just been transfered about couple of days for a missionary purpose in west africa.right now i am still located in republic of benin where am carrying out my missionary assignment and due to tight assignment i found myself i don't have much time to take good care of my puppy like i use to,and so also the environment that the puppy found her self here in republic of benin is too harsh. therefore have decided to give out the puppy to a good caring person that would treat my puppy with a tender care and a well family interraction.

the puppy is well breed and the puppy has a current vaccination,vet exams,health certificate and 1year guarantee.the puppy has potty trained,home raise and socialized for tremendious attitude.well and excellent temparamented.the puppy has super trainability and people pleasing personality.the puppy is given a high learning a delight elegance of structure and well dewormed.the dog has C.K.C,A.K.C and F.C.I Registered.am offering the puppy out at $650 each one including the shipment.and i have attack the pics of my puppy, and i will like to attach the pic of mine self.

i will like to hear from you as soon as possible.Thanks AND GOD BLESS.

Tommy attaches (or should that be attack?!) photos of his puppy, obviously ripped from some internet site. Note that these picture are actual size:

 

 

I express an interest in Tommy's puppies, but not in the way he thinks.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 25, 2006

How much will it cost for you to kill the puppies and send the fresh meat to me?

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading

 

 

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL

I DO NOT KILL PUPPY I ONLY SELL DUE TO I ON A TRANSFER LIVE OUTSIDE UNITED STATE THAT IS WHY I WANT TO SELL OUT MINE PET FOR A CHRISTIAN PERSON THAT WILL TAKE HER AS A DAUGHTER SO ARE YOU WILLING TO BUY A LIVING PUPPY?

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 26, 2006

I only deal in dead dogs, sorry. It costs more to import them alive.

I own an exotic food importation company specialising in Klingon foodstuffs. We usually pay between $2,000 to $3,500 per kilo for fresh dog meat, antelope meat, tribble meat and also, Mogwai meat.

Thank you for your contact and I am sorry you cannot help me at this time.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading

 

 

Seems that Tommy can supply dog meat after all. What a surprise!

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale

THANKS FOR THAT

WE HAVE DOG MEAT AND THEY ARE READLY FOR SALE BUT I CAN STILL TELL YOU FLLOW WORKER THAT I HAVE SEE THE PERSON THAT IS READLY TO BUY THE MEAT BUT UT IS TOO COSTLY AND IT CAN BE SHIPPED TO YOU COUNTRY THAT IS IF YOU ARE WILL WILLING TO PAY FOR IT.

RERPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 26, 2006

Do you have dealers who also specialise in Mogwai meat? I recently lost my usual supplier and am in desperate need of a new and reliable supplier. Typically for good quality imported Mogwai meat my company pay $2,700 per kilo (that is for the smoked Mogwai meat). I would be very interested in importing regular supplies if you are able to arrange this.

Get back to me with more information and prices if possible and let me know a list of the different type of meats you can export to me.

Arthur Dent.
Director
Klingon Trading Ltd.

 

 

It seems Mogwai meat is definitely on the menu.

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale

Yes i have a dealer who specialised in Mogwai meat,i spoke to him concerning supplying your company as you request.He export the smoke and unsmoke mogwai meat at the rate of $2,550 per kilos.

He has different kind of meats he export to its customers.

Reply as soon as possible

Thanks and God Bless.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 28, 2006

Dear Mr. Clement,

My apologies for the slight delay in replying to you. I have been meeting with a prospective client in Xanadu and only returned to my office a short while ago.

I would be very interested indeed in purchasing regular supplies of Mogwai meat however as your dealer will of course know I will require an exportation certificate from the country of origin, and medical 'fit for consumption' certificate which shows the Mogwai meat is fit for human consumption. Without such certificates I will not be allowed to import them in the UK. If your supplier is able to provide me with these certificates then I see no reason why we cannot do much business together. For my first order I would be prepared to take 95 kilos.

Please get back to me as soon as possible, also please give me your prices on the puppy meat that you said you could get for me.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 1, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale

thanks for your mail,

sorry for replying your mail late.I went to femmard fod company to verity something from them and i gave them ypur information concerning mogwai meat,They did a medical checkup of the mogwai meat in order for me ,to know how good their foods are.And i was conrincd about their stuff.They are the one who will send you those certificateof exportation.

so here is the company email address(xxxfoodsupplies@xxxmail.com)

so for the puppy meat the price is 2,200 per kio

to hear from you soon

thanks and remain blessed.

 

 

Before I even contact Tommy's recommended company, they get in touch with me. Apparently his "certificate" is in the form of a couple of sentences in an email! Actually as you'll see, Tommy's company contact is actually Tommy himself. No two people could produce written language so badly!

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: The exportation certificate

REPUBLIC OF BENIN EXPORT COMMISSION
UNIT FEMMARD FOOD BENNE
BLOCK 7B BENNE ROAD REPUBLIC OF BENIN

DATE 29TH MAY 2000

DEAR CUTOMER

CERTIFICATE OF IN CORPORATION
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERD

THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT FEMMARD FOOD HAS BEEN REGISTERED AS A LIVESTOCK EXPOTER UNDER DECREE 202 OR THR REPUBLIC OF BENIN CONSTITUTION.
DATE OF ISSUANCE-29TH MAY 2000

NATURE OF OPRATION-EXPOTER(LIVESTOCK)

THIS IS THE ONLY FORM OF CERTIFICATE ISSUED BE REPUBLIC OF BENIN COMMISSION.

THIS IS THE ONLY CERTIFICATE THAT ANY BUYER OF LIVESTOCK CAN BE ISSUED WHEN BUYING FROM US IN R/BENIN.

FAMMARD
FOOD COMPANY SUPPLIES
DIRECTOR GENERAL

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your email, however a livestock importation certificate is of no use to me. I do not wish to import livestock, I wish to import deadstock.

Thank you again for your email however I shall have to search for an alternative supplier.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: Re: The exportation certificate

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL BACK SOON YOU RECEIVE THESE MESSAGE.

THERE IS NO PROMBLE WE DEAL IN BOTH LIVESTOCK AND DEADSTOCK,AND WE SHIPPED ALL OVER THE WORLD IF YOU WNAT TO BUY DEADSTOCK FROM US THAT IS OKAY AND WE WILL LIKE TO BE ONE OF OUR CUTOMER AND WE ARE TELLING YOU THAT FOR YOU FIRST ORDER WE ARE ONE THAT WILL SHIP IT TO YOUR COUNTRY DIRECT WITHOUT ANY PROMBLE BECAUSE WE HAVE DO THESE BUSINESS WITH MANY COUNTRY LIKE TURKEY,USA,CANADA.SPAIN,ITALY,JAPAN,HOLLAND AND SO MUCH COUNTRIES LIKE THAT AND WILL WE WANT YOU TO BE WITH US AT ALL TIME SO THAT YOU CAN GAIN MORE WITH US.

THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your reply and it is good to learn that you also deal with deadstock. Please do not forget to send me a list of the deadstock that you deal in. We would be interested in the following deadstock:

Antelope
Lesser Spotted Gibbon
African Squawk Deer
Camel Humps
Kangaroo
Chucklefish
Three footed horseferret
Mancunian Haggis
Mogwai
Elephant Wings
Herbian Dog Liver
Albanian Cheese Hedgehog

If you have stock of any of the above meat products I would be very interested, and also if you supply any other types of meat products then please do let me know, along with the prices per kilo.

Regarding importing your products into the UK. I will need from you a clearance/importation certificate for each meat type. The UK C&E will not allow me to import meat from a foreign country without this certificate. I cannot explain to you the exact contents of the certificate because of course each country has a different type, however the certificate will come from your country's exportation department and have the meat product named and clearance that the meat is safe for exportation and for human consumption.

I do not know if you have exported meat products to the UK before but if not then please let me know and I can show you an example of the type of import certificate we need.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: Re: The exportation certificate

hello i will like to know thetype of cetificate they need in your country so that i can ship whose meat to you in your country,

to hear from you soon.

 

 

I send Lewis a sample of a deadstock importation certificate.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006

Dear Sir,

Please find attached a copy of a standard UK deadstock importation certificate. Of course your own country's export certificates will be different but will probably contain similar information depending on the meat products that you are exporting.

Please do not forget to give me your prices for the other types of deadstock.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

Tommy Mark gets in touch. He's obviously been "talking" with Lewis!

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 3, 2006
Subject: HELLO

HELLO

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALL THE INFORMATION THAT YOU NEED FOR THE IMPORTATION AND EXPORTATION AND CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT THAT WILL PROVE THAT THE PUPPY MEAT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION,BUT AS YOUR HAVE ALREADLY KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU THAT I NOT A CITIZEN OF BENIN REPUBLIC I AMHERE ON A MISSIONARY OUTREACH.THEY HAVE GIVING ME SOME CERTIFICATE BECAUSE ALL THE PUPPY KILL HAS BEEN TEST AND THEY ARE ALL OKAY,

PLS I WILL NEED YOUR REAL FULL NAME TO FILL UP SOME DOCUMENT SO THAT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU FOR SO THAT IT CAN BE CONFIRMED,I WILL LIKE TO TO SEND ME SOME MONEY AT LIST $5,000 TO $10,000 SO THAT ALL CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT CAN BE WELL DONE AND OKAY,IT IS DUE TO I AM A FOREIGN IN THESE COUNTRY (BENIN REPUBLIC).

IF YOU CAN BE ABLE TO SEND ME THE MONEY BY THE NEXT 2DAYS ALL THE CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT WILL BE SEND TO YOU SO AS WELL FOR CONFIRMATIONFROM YOU.

THANKS

TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND GOD BLESS.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: March 3, 2006

Dear Sir,

My full details are as follows:

Arthur Dent HHGTTG
Klingon Trading Ltd
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.

Please note that my company do not send money until we have had proof of the documentation. You can either mail it to us at the address above, or send HIGH QUALITY scans of the documents by email attachment. No payment shall be made until we have proof of the quality of the meat products.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 4, 2006
Subject: HELLO BUYER

Hello

sorry for the delay in responses,thanks for the sample of the certificate,what our company need from you is your the contact address and information of your organisation and the phone number for easy conversation.the mogwai meat is medical tested and its okay for human consumption.Get to our company as soon as possible.

PHONE NUMBER...............................
COMPANY ADDRESS.........................
FAX NUMBER.............................

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 4, 2006

Dear Sir,

My contact information is as follows:

My direct telephone number: +44 8707 65X XXX
My direct FAX number: +44 8701 31X XXX

My company address:

Klingon Trading Ltd.
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.

Now please provide me with your company's full contact information also.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

A few days later it appears my certificate are ready.

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 9, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER

HELLO ALL THE CERTIFICATE YOU NEED IS READLY PLS REPLY ME BACK.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 9, 2006

Dear Sir,

I confirm receipt of your message below.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

Lewis seems to think he's getting payment up front. What a deranged fellow he is.

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 10, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER

HELLO

WE ARE THE ONE THAT CALL YOU JUST TO TELL YOU THAT ALL THE ARRANGEMENNT HAS BEEN READLY,WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO CONFIRM THAT THE MONEY FOR YOUR BUYING OF THE MEAT IS READLY SO THAT I CAN SHIP IT TO YOUR COUNTRY BUT WE ARE SORRY THAT WE WILL ONLY SELL OUT 70KIO FOR YOU JUST FOR STARTING SO IT WILL BE EASY FOR US TO DO MORE BUSINESS NEXT TIME.

FOR THE PAYMENT WILL LIKE TO SEND IT THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, SO THAT YOUR GOODS CAN BE SHIP TO YOUR COUNTRY.

THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 11, 2006

Dear Sir,

I am still waiting to see the import/export certificates. I cannot purchase anything without those certificates, so talk of payment at this stage is a waste of time.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading

 

 

A week goes by and eventually Lewis gets back in touch. I suspect he thinks I may have forgotten about the certificates? Lewis is obviously mentally retarded.

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 18, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER

hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send it in.

RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
TEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?
ADDRESS?

 

 

WARNING: Bad language alert!

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 18, 2006

I AM STILL WAITING TO SEE THE FUCKING IMPORT PAPERS YOU MORON. ARE YOU READING MY FUCKING EMAILS??????

YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE ONE SINGLE CENT UNTIL I HAVE THE IMPORT/EXPORT CERTIFICATES.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

Just as I send the above email. My phone rings:

March 18, 2006: Lewis Seth (and I presume Tommy Mark) - 1meg MP3

The guys got frustrated (as did I), putting the phone down on me twice!

 

 

Incredibly, after the call above, and after they have received my previous email, I received an exact copy of their last email.

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 18, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER

hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send it in.

RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
TEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?
ADDRESS?

 

 

I decide to give a short and sweet answer.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 18, 2006

FUCK OFF.

 

 

Quite a few days went by and I thought I'd heard the last from Tommy and Lewis, but then:

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 29, 2006
Subject: HELLO

hello i am sorry the meg is not met for you, i will soonxet send you the ceritficate.

 

 

Looks like this bait is going nowhere.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: April 3, 2006

Am I wasting my time with you or do you REALLY have meat I can purchase? If you do not have it then just say so instead of keeping me waiting. I have the full payment here of $42,744 ready to send but it seems you do not want it

Please pull your finger out of your arsehole and get back to me with your decision.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 3, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello

thanks for your mail i have dog meat only but the problem is that i have know money that i will pay to the republice of benin in africa before they can give me the importation ceritifcate so if you have any idea to give that is okay by me ,thanks and God bless.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: April 3, 2006

NO. You will not get one single penny from me until I have the importation certificates.

It is obvious I am wasting my valuable time here. I shall return the cash to the bank tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 3, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello do not worry i will get the certificate ready by the next 7 days from now.

 

 

Nine days go by and nothing to show for it. I decide to contact Tommy Mark's alter-ego, Lewis Seth.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 12, 2006

You partner told me more than a week ago now that you would have the certificates ready to send to me, however once again you have both failed to live up to your promises. Am I to assume that you have both been lying to me all this time?


Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

Amazingly, Lewis sends ANOTHER request for payment!

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 12, 2006
Subject: hello

hello i will like you to send me the sum of $242250 of 95 kilos money of the meat.

these is how to send the money visit any western union money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to republic of benin,cotonou
these is the form you will use to send it in.

RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFISTEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT ?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 13, 2006

Mr. Seth,

Are you completely BRAINLESS?

I have told you MANY TIMES that I need the IMPORTATION/EXPORTATION CERTIFICATES.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do I have to keep repeating myself to you? Do you understand SIMPLE English?

 

 

Over a week goes by and no reply from Seth. I guess he has got fed up of the abuse! Lets try to smoke him out by pretending we have sent some money to him.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 21, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

Payment has now been sent so that maybe I will at last get this meat.

I had to split the payment into 4 payments. Details are as follows:

Payment 1: $5,000 MTCN 1036284346
Payment 2: $5,000 MTCN 1036284347
Payment 3: $5,000 MTCN 1036284348
Payment 4: $5,000 MTCN 1036284349
Payment 5: $4,250 MTCN 1036284350

Test question: Payment for?
Answer: Mogwai

Sender's name: Arthur Dent. London, UK

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

The smell of money brings Seth out.

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 26, 2006
Subject: HELLO

HELLO ARE SURE THAT YOU SEND THE MONEY BEFORE I WILL GO AND COMFIMED SO IF YOU HAVE SEND IT BEFORE 3 TO 4 DAYS WE ARE GOING TO SHIP IT TO YOU AND WE WILL NEED YOU TO SEND US YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS, CITY,STATE NEARTEST AIRPORT SO THAT WE CAN BE ABLE TO SHIP IT TO YOU.

THANKS

FEMMARD FOOD SUPPIES COMPANY.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 26, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

I have put the payment on hold until I receive the export certificates you promised to me weeks ago. When I receive that then I shall authorise western union to free the payment to you.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 28, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

HELLO ARTHUR DENT

pls we are sorry for sending you a method of payment while we have not send you the export certificate it is due to some internet fraud but for now we are ready to do business with your company, that money you send was not confrimed as there is no money in it, but that is not our force for now we do not open our compamy every saturday and sunday and you know that nextday to us is weekend by monday to friday we will send you the export certificate,plsase bear with us.

Thanks

I won't be holding my breath Seth.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 29, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

The reason that the payment is not confirmed is because I have put the payment on hold until I receive the certificates that you promised to me weeks ago. I shall await the arrival of the certificates on Monday and once I have them in my possession I shall then clear the payment.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

Hurrah! The certificate finally arrives. Are you all excited? I hope not!

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 1, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello this is the certificate of exportation.so we will like you so send the money so that i can ship the mogwai meats to you.

The certificate (actual size):

Totally unacceptable, I think you will agree.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 2, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

Do you want me to send you this money or not? If you want the money THEN SEND A PROPER SIZED IMAGE. You will not get a penny until I have a LARGE, CLEAR image of the certificate.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 7, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello these is the certificate in the proper size so i will like to hear from you soonext.

Lewis gets the size right, but......

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 7, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

Deadstock certificates are valid for 6 weeks only. Your certificate is dated 2005 which makes it over a year out of date.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 8, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello

That do you mean by the certificate is dated 2005 which makes it over a year out of date.That certificate was giving to us then are just about start to export to others country but now we can ship to any country in these world with that certificate, so i will like to hear from you soonxet.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 8, 2006

Dear Mr. Seth,

The date on the certificate is February 2005. Did you know that we are now in May 2006 (TWO THOUSAND AND SIX)?

Deadstock certificates are only valid in the UK for SIX WEEKS after they have been presented.

Your certificate is totally useless to me.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 9, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO

hello it is noy useless so for the shipping i will tahe care of it, pls if you will like to buy it froom us okay to hear from you soon.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 9, 2006

No. We do bit buy food that IS NOT PROPERLY CERTIFIED.

The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written on.

The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written on.

The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written on.

The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written on.

We shall NOT be buying anything from you unless you are able to supply the correct certification. As you cannot do this I do not expect to hear from you again. I have found another supplier in Lagos who can provide what I want so I shall deal with him instead.

Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading

 

 

To be continued...?

Sadly not. This particular pair of idiots never did get back to me, which is a great pity as they were definitely comedy gold, and I was so looking forward to more sparkling telephone conversation.

END.

 

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