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Title: THE TALE OF THE HOLY COW
Scammer Name: JOHN WALKER
Submitted by: SHIVER METIMBERS

No messing about. A scammer comes straight out and asks for cash. I can respect that. Doesn't mean I can't mess with the idiot though!

 

From: "John Walker" <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 05:59:28 -0700
Subject: Raising Moses's hand

Dear Brethen,

May the peace of God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit be with you all.

We are a non profit organisation resides in part of Afica. Our organisation's name is Moses's Hand Foundation.

We've decided to erased child abuse and some other things which make the youths to be idles.

Our recent research made us to realised that many youths in Africa were initiated to be a frauders, they don't have any good intention or any room for the Lord in their hearts. When you asked them, they have some reasons which might be "genuine" in their own eyes but in God's eyes there are no excuse.

This Foundation now decided to stand on it's feet believing that it will get a good support from International countries to say no to Child Abuse and change the mind of youths for Christ.

We decided to have a National Seminars for youth and som e other programmes that will make these youths to know that if they can study and work and trust God they can do good in the land by not stealing or do frauding all around.

Brethen, we need your assistance, either in monetary terms or materials. Your assistance may be some christian books that we can give these people after this program. whatsoever.

Let's join hands to say no child abuse in any form, prostitutions and stealing and frauding in any form.

Remember that our Moses needed somebody to raise his hand so that victory can be sure.

We shall be glad to read from you if you want to assist us financially or materially.

Shalom

Best Regards
Bro. John Walker

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Thank you for your letter, which has been gratefully received.

Sir, I have some good news for you, it appears you have some to the right place to get what you deserve;

I am happy to tell you that as a benefactor of many charity cases here in the UK I will be happy to send a monetary donation to you, however, there are formalities that must be adhered to before I can offer you such help.

Firstly, some information about myself; I am a man of God myself. My title is Reverend Covered Inpiss. I run my small church, and we are fundamental Christians and Animalistic Anglicans. This means that we worship Almighty God as all Christian do, but we also hold certain animals in very high regard. As in the Indian faith, we regard the cow as the holiest of God's holy creatures, hence our church is named The Church of The Holy Cow (Amen).

Every year our church donates many thousands of Dollars to worthwhile cases, and during a meeting of our councillors I discussed your cause with them. All agreed that your cause was worthy and just, so it has been decided that we will be able to donate some funds to help your Moses's Hand Foundation.

For the moment we are only able to offer a small sum of $52,000.00 (Fifty two thousand Dollars), but providing you use this amount wisely, I see no reason not to help you further at a later date. [A pitiful sum I know, but I guess a little more than John was expecting to screw out of me in the first place!]

As we are a registered charity, of course certain paperwork has to be completed to arrange this cash payment to you. Please signal your agreement to filling out the required forms and I shall forward them to you for your completion and signature. Once we have received your completed forms we will then forward the donation to you in a manner which best suits you.

I hope that meets with your Agreement?

Sincerely,

Reverend Covered Inpiss.

 

 

Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2003 08:30:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: We are ready to put our hands on the agreement form

dear Covered Inpiss

Thank you my reverend. I just came back from the outreach so decided to check my mails. All hands are on desk sir. We so much grateful for all your effort to make this worth while.

However, we agreed toi put our hand in agreement of whatsoever. Since we all believe in one faith.

I hope to see the form for the completion because the work has to be done.

My regards to all your committe sir.

Yours in His Service

John Walker

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker.

How are you this morning sir? I hope you are well? BLESS YOU.

Please find attached the agreement form which you need to complete. It is very simple; just fill in the blank areas then sign and date it.

To complete this process, and of course be awarded the $52,000.00 you will then need to provide your photograph holding our church logo. The image of our church logo will be provided on receipt of your complete agreement form. As soon as we receive a suitable photograph, you will then need to nominate your preferred payment method, and also the name that you wish the payment to be made to.

Please note that it is a requirement of the agreement that you must supply your (or a representatives) photograph holding our church logo. This will be used as proof that the payment will be going to a church nominated benefactor.

Please fill in the completed form and signal your agreement to the photograph, and then we will forward the image for you.

My best regards,

Rev. Covered Inpiss.

 

 

Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 14:55:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Agreement form/John Walker & the representatives

My lord inpiss,

How are you sir and how is everything with the church of holy cow.

Sir, I have attached by the agreement form, including the my photograph.

Sir, Would you send an Identity card to us which will bear your logo? And let me know if it will be this card that we shall use to collect the money.

However, We've decided to receive this money, by Western Money Union Transfer.[Surprise surprise] And kindly send us all
the information we shall need for the receivement.

Thanks and hope to read from you

Mr John Walker

The signed Agreement.

 

John Walker's attached pic.

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,,

Thank you for your completed form, which meets with our approval, BLESS THE LORD JESUS!

Now the last stage as described in my last email to you. Please find attached our church logo. You will need to have your photograph taken holding this logo. This is a requirement as described in the agreement (AMEN).

Please read carefully: You will need to send us a photograph of yourself, or a representative holding this logo. The photograph must be LARGE and CLEAR. Small or unsuitable images will not be accepted. Please ensure our logo is printed out as large as possible for clarity. Please ensure that the image is acceptable so that there will be no delay in forwarding the payment to you.

If you need further instructions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

GOD BLESS YOU MY SON,

Rev. Covered Inpiss.

[The church logo]

 

 

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 15:02:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Thank you sir

my lord inpiss,

Thank you once again. It is my pleasure to write you sir.

We have done it accordingly. So expect it in some hours time.

Thank you for your support.

John Walker

 

 

Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 09:34:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: pciture of representative

Rev. inpiss,

Thank you for your support. The attached picture is the picture of the representative with the logo our church of the holy cow.

Kindly find the attached picture and view if we meet the picture requirement.

Thank you and God bless you

Yours
John Walker

[John attaches what is I suspect a doctored picture!]

[The Reverend's right-hand man isn't going to be happy with this....]

 

 

From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Ref: Moses Hand Foundation - Donation No. 11423/AE/3316


Dear Sir,

My name is Phil A. Holein, and I am the head of the Church of The Holy Cow's donation committee.

Reverend Inpiss passed on your photograph to me for inspection before the $52,000.00 donation can be submitted.

It seems that you have misunderstood the instructions given to you by the good reverend. I shall explain:

The condition of being awarded the cash amount is entirely dependant on you supplying a photograph of yourself OR a trusted representative, holding a sign containing the picture of the Church of The Holy Cow. This means that you need to get the Church of The Holy Cow picture PRINTED OUT, and then have a photograph taken of yourself OR a trusted representative holding it.

I am afraid the images that you have sent this evening are entirely unacceptable, as you have just copied and pasted the church picture over the top of another picture (technically called a composite image, or more generally, a forgery). This is not the same as printing out the image and having yourself photographed holding it.

Please note that until we receive the image in the manner we described then we cannot release the funds.

Sincerely,

Phil A. Holein.
Donation Committee.

 

 

Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 16:13:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Ref: Moses Hand Foundation - Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Dear Mr Phil,

It is my pleasure once again. I quite appreciate all your effort to make our vision worthwhile.

Sir, truly speaking we technically pasted the logo of the church of holy cow and this is the reason behind this:

The film did not clear very well and the logo this not appear as it ought to be, and we now decided that since this thing did not clear then let's look for another option so that we can send the representaives picture ASAP.

However, for verification and truth of what I am saying check the original picture of our representatives that we sent to you. [They attached a pic, which did indeed look washed out, so I forgive them!]

You will discovered that the logo did not clear very well. Sir, at this point try to check the picture I am sending to you very well and let us know if you accept it, if not, then we shall look for a professional photograpy company to let us do this asap.

Thank you my good reverend

Best Regards

John Walker

 

 

From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Thank you for your email, your explanation is appreciated.

Sir, I am sorry, but you will have to try to get the photograph taken correctly. The decision is not up to only me, but a group of the church donation committee, and they are insistent that the funds cannot be released until a satisfactory image is received.

If it makes it easier for you, you may try to draw/copy the image onto a larger sign that may photograph more clearly.

I thank you again for your explanation, and I look forward to receiving a new image.

Kindest regards,

Phil A. Holein.

 

 

Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2003 12:47:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Donation No. 11423/AE/3316 Representatives Pix

Sir Holein,

It is my pleasure and I am gald to inform you that this picture is as clear and large as well.

I hope to read from you and collect the information to receive the said funds.

I hope to read from you soonest

Thank you sir

John Walker

[John attaches a huge 2600 pixel wide image, which I have resized to conserve site bandwidth!]

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Congratulations! I can confirm that Mr. Phil A. Holein has passed the image to me and it has been accepted as fulfilling our requirements. BLESS YOU MY BROTHER!

Please confirm to me both the full name, address and manner of payment you would like. I am afraid that is it is now the weekend,so it will be Monday before we can make the payment.

My congratulations again sir (AMEN).

Sincerely,

Rev. C. Inpiss.

 

 

Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2003 00:55:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fund Receiver's Information Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Good Reverend.

We thank you once again for all your support, may the good Lord bless you real good.

Sir, the the treasurer who happened to be in charge of finances and funds for the organisation is presently on outreach to Chad.

So we decided to send the information of the financial secretary as the receiver of the fund (if allowed).

The information of our financial secretary goes thus:

MR. AWONUSI OLALEKAN
FULL ADDRESS: NO.12 PRINCE BABAYALE STREET, OFF FELELE
RAB, IBADAN, Oyo State, Nigeria.

Note:we would appreciate if the fund can be sent to the closest western union transfer bank ( Ogba Branch of First Bank Nigeria, Lagos State) which is closest to our head office.

Sir, kindly send the necessary information that may be useful to the receiver.

Thank you

Yours
John Walker

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Bless you for your email with the payment details.

I will arrange for the Western Union Payment to be made tomorrow morning (Monday) and I will send you a copy of the payment receipt as well as the control number and question/answer.

I do not know if it is possible to nominate a specific W.U. office, but I shall ask and I will do it if I can.

I will contact you as soon as the [fictitious] payment has been made (AMEN).

May God bless your gonads,

Rev. C. Inpiss.

 

 

From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear John,

I am writing to let you know that the donation payment has now been made, please find attached the payment receipt.

Western Union have told me that because of the large payment, you will need to bring your passport to the collection office when collecting the funds.

Here are more details:

The control number is: 3570042100 If you are asked, the secret question is: WHAT IS IT ROBIN? The password answer is: HOLY COW BAT MAN.

If you have any problems, please get back to me. [I have a feeling John will be getting in touch rather soon!]

Sincerely,

Rev. Covered Inpiss.

 

 

Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2003 10:09:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Fund Receiver's Information Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Rev,

I received the confirmation of the payment. And I have sent to one of our member which will definetly go to the bank to receive it. [Your member will definitely not receive it!]

May the good God be with you. In fact I don't know I can appreciate this to you. But when we finish all the project at hand, I will try to copy you all the things we've done to you.

However, we will be happy if you can welcome us to your midst one of these day.

Thank you

John Walker

 

 

[Seems the bank have problems with my payment]

Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 05:24:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Payment options Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Dear Reverend,

The receiver went to the bank as directed, but unfortunately they did not pay the receiver the amount expected. Please notify the bank you sent the payment through about this.

However, they said the amount is too much to be paid at once in any of the branches here.

So they adviced if you can retrieve the money back from the bank and send it bit by bit (send $8,000 consecutively through the same receipient.)

I will like to read from you ASAP.

Can you please give me the actual time that I can call you without answering machine? Or you call me 234-1-4926527

Thank you

Mr John Walker

 

 

From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker.

This is Phil A. Holein of the Church of The Holy Cow's Donation Committee.

I am disturbed that you did not receive the payment. I was not told that there would be problems when I made the payment at my local bank, the Royal Bank of Scrotums.

I tried to call you on the number you gave, but I could not get through. I asked the operator to connect me also, but I was told there were network problems and I cold not be connected. I will contact my bank and see what I can do for you if I can be bothered.

Please telephone me on my direct UK telephone number of (United Kingdom) 044 7092 037 387 to discuss these matters.

Sincerely,

Phil A. Holein.

 

 

Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 06:19:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Thank you

But we shall be glad if you can do it ASAP so that it can meet our proposed plan.

The receiver's information still remains.

Thank you


Note:
Please make enquiries about the payment in W.U. Office ASAP

 

 

[John Walker contacts the good Reverend Covered Inpiss]

Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 11:14:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: urgent Attention Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

CC: Rev holein

Rev. Inpiss,

Sir, I have mailed Rev. Holein about the issue of non receiving the payment here.

I delibrately mailed you again because you are the one that went to pay the said amount.

There would be a National Work Boycott here this week, and we don't want this to disturb our project, so we beseech you that you should please do something ASAP.

I have contacted Rev Holein and he said he would do something about it.

here they Insisted here that $52,000.00 is too large to pay, and they said the only option is too receive this money bit by bit (which means we can only receive at most $8,000) installmentally.

i am afraid good reverend because the receiver's information have been collected, along with all necessary information e.g Security text/answer. So this bothered us so much, and we need your response. I am still expecting his mail yet. Please once again.

I would be waiting anxiously to get your reply.

thank you

John Walker

 

 

[There's trouble brewing. The Rev. Inpiss seems to have gone missing]

From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Thank you for your email, and the contents are well noted.

I am sorry, but I have been unable to get in touch with Rev. C. Inpiss for nearly two days now. I am a little worried, so I will be making a personal trip to see him tomorrow morning and I will see if I can get this situation sorted out ASAP.

Sincerely,

Phil A. Holein.
Donations Committee

 

 

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003 23:30:57 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Reminder: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Good reverend,

Good day sir and how is the family.

How's your trip to Rev Inpiss?

We hope to read from you as all member are earger to
read from you ASAp

Thank you for all your communication and assistance

 

 

From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Sorry about the delay in replying to you. There have been some worrying developments in the last few hours which I am unable to share with you at the moment because the police have advised my to keep my big mouth shut.

I will hopefully have some news for you shortly.

Sincerely,

Phil A. Holein.

 

 

[ I send some shocking news]

Dear Mr. Walker,

Sadly it seems that Reverend Covered Inpiss has deliberately gone missing. I am shocked to discover that the reverend has also taken a lover (strictly forbidden in our faith) and the police have informed us that they have taken a flight to Scotland, which is about 600 miles from our location. We have made many requests for the reverend's return, but all have gone unanswered. His story has been featured in he News of The World (newspaper clip attached) so hopefully some news will come out of this.

With regards to your donation; we are trying very hard to collect your payment from another branch of our church, and as soon as the funds have been cleared I will try to make the payment in the manner you requested.

 

Sincerely,

Rev. Phil
Donations Committee

[Inpiss makes the News of The World]

Click to enlarge (150k)

 

 

Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 12:29:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Good Reverend,

It looks strange as well. I am suprised. But may the
good God be with all of us.

Ok, I wait for your response.

[I sense John doesn't believe me!]

 

 

[With many thanks to fellow baiter 'Fred Flintstone', I find out that John Walker has tried to contact the News of The World to ask them to confirm if the news story is true - Can't go into too much detail here, but what I did was send this reply to John from The News Of The World; with a fake return address to match of course]

From: enquiries@nisyndication.com
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Sir.

I can confirm that this story did indeed appear in the Sunday edition of the News of The World 12/10/03.

Faithfully,

Enquiries Dept.

 

 

[I wait a couple of days, then send John some terrible news]

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

My name is Father Ted Crilley and I am one of the members of the Church of The Holy Cow Donation Committee, and I am also the press officer for our organisation.

It is with great sadness in my heart that I have to announce the death of the Reverend Covered Inpiss. Apparently, the reverend took your donation money and hid it away inside a cows vagina (I am told they are very capacious). Unfortunately, when the Reverend Inpiss tried to retrieve the cash, the cow suffered a vaginal spasm and Reverend Inpiss was locked permanently inside the cows vagina and suffocated to death.

Fortunately, Reverend Inpiss managed to withdraw most of the cash before he passed on, and once we have it cleaned we shall put it into the bank and forward the payment to you ASAP.

I am sorry to bring you such bad news, but hey, at least you'll get your money!

Bless you,

Father Ted Crilley.


The tragic death scene of the most holy Rev. Covered Inpiss.

 

 

[I didn't think that Mr. Walker would fall for my excuse and photo, but it looks like he did]

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 12:41:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Thank you sir,

I got your mail and I quite appreciate it. It is a pity that we still have a kind of person that is covetous among us, may God forgive him.

Father, having said this, wewould appreciate if you can tellus the specific date you will send this fund to us, since C inpiss have caused a lot of havoc to this issue and this had disturbed alot of programmes that we have ahead of time.

I would like to discuss this issue with Donationa committe and to know the next step.

Thank you

Walker

 

 

[Mr. Walker has a change of email address and emails me shortly after his previous message]

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 18:11:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Father Ted,

Good day sir. Howtings and thank God for everything.

Anyway,I am using this medium to let you know that 2 days ago we discovered that allthe message we have received from you have been hijacked by unknow person. We are yet to know who do this. [That's a complete disgrace John. I wonder what kind of a twisted person would do that?! ]

So for now, we implore you that you should please sending any messages to this new e-mal address until you hear from us that you should be using the yahoo address.

We hope that this changed does not bring any inconvenience to you sir.And we would appreciate if you can inform Re. Carson and other future people who might have love tomail us from your side.

Thanks

John Walker

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Bless you sir, and how are you this day.

I am sorry to hear of the news of your email being hijacked, this is very disturbing news indeed, and I hope you did not have too much private (nudge nudge) material in the mailbox?

I do apologise for the late reply to your previous email, but as you can imagine things have been extremely busy here. The police have been questioning everybody and this has meant a severe delay to processing your funds, however we will endeavour to have your donation sent to you ASAP. I will try to get in touch with you very soon to inform you how you can receive the payment.

My blessings.

Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.

 

 

From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
To: Father Ted Crilley
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Father Ted,

Good day sir. How far about police investigation, hope its not getting tidious? Have they been able to find any fact or details about the death of Late Rev.C. Inpiss?

We are still looking forward to hear from you and we hope everything will be settle soonest.

Regards to all other member of your loyal committee.

John Walker

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear brother Walker,

Thank you for your email, and I will try to give you some news.

I am disturbed that the police investigation is taking much longer than anticipated. It appears that the death of the reverend C. Inpiss may not have been an accident after all. The police have arrested his lover Mrs. Doyle, and are questioning her over the death of the reverend. Mrs. Doyle was arrested outside our church yesterday, and I have attached a photograph of this disturbing event.

It seems that the polices suspect Mrs. Doyle may be herself responsible for the death of the good reverend. When the donation money was counted after the tragic accident, there was $7,500.00 missing. After some investigation, the police discovered this very same amount in Mrs. Doyle's bank account.

I hope you will appreciate that this is very disturbing news to me indeed. I will try to send you more news ASAP and I do hope to get the donation to you very soon.

Bless you,

Father Ted Crilley.

[Mrs. Doyle gets taken away. I made sure the same pic of Mrs. Doyle was used as I put in the newspaper article, that way John would recognise her. Not a brilliant editing job, but it'll do!]

 

 

Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 13:51:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Dear Rev.,

Good day sir. How far about police investigation, hope its not getting tidious? Have they been able to find any fact or details about the death of Late Rev.C. Inpiss?

We are still looking forward to hear from you and we hope everything will be settle soonest.

Regards to all other member of your loyal committee.

John Walker

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear Mr. Walker.

Good news! I am happy to tell you that the full payment can now be made to you.

Unfortunately there will be a slight change of plan. Because of the police investigation, the Church of The Holy Cow has had to put a hold on all electronic banking facilities, therefore I cannot transfer the payment in the manner you require because of the modalities of the investigation.

However, the good news is that I am due to visit one of our churches in Nairobi (Kenya) on Wednesday next week, therefore, I can arrange to fly directly to Lagos first, make the payment to you in cash, and then take an inbound flight to Nairobi. This way instead of paying the donation in small amounts, I can give you the entire amount in one lump sum, I am sure you will be most happy to hear this news.

There is one last thing that will need to be done before I can come to meet with you. Because of recent tragic events, the Church of The Holy Cow has ordered me to ensure that all modalities are completed in a more secure way. The church have demanded that before I meet with you, you must write out by hand a letter to the church thanking them for the donation. Again, please note that this letter my be hand written, not typed. If you agree to this, I will forward you the details of what you will need to write in the letter.

Please signal your agreement to this and then I will forward you the letter and my flight itinerary as well as my passport photo so that you may be able to identify me at the airport. I urge you to act fast in this matter as my flight leaves early next week.

Sincerely,

Father Ted Crilley.
D.A. The Church of The Holy Cow.

 

 

[John is starting to become suspicious I think...]

Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2003 21:05:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Father Ted,

I got your mail. About your coming to Nigeria, that is great. But don't you think travel to this big amount will be dangerous? And do you think they will allow you take this in on your way coming, at least they will do checking. What do you feel about this?

If your answer is no problem, then can send the format you want it to be I mean the writing letter which will be like a letter of appreciattion. But before then I need the following information sir:

- the full address of the church of holy cow
- your personal picture and your international passport for identification
- supply me your valid phone number, so that I can call you for proer arrangement.

Thank you for all your contribution

Walker

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear John,

No need to worry about the money. I have special authority at airports and customs lounges because of my ministry. All I need from you is to ensure that there will be someone trustworthy to meet with me at the airport who can guarantee my safety on my short stay with you. I can arrange a VISA within 24 hours so this will not be a problem. The police are entirely happy with my proceeding to visit you.

My direct telephone number is (United Kingdom ) 044 7092 037 387. If I am not home to receive you message, please leave your message and details on my answer phone. I am extremely busy, so if I am not at home please leave a message to let me know you have called.

Please note that because I get a lot of time wasting calls, you will be required to leave a password phrase that will identify you as a trusted caller. The password phrase for today is HOLY COW BATT MAN. Batt is the name of my pet dog. Please repeat the password three times for clarity. Please note that no calls will be returned without the password code.

Please find attached my international passport image and a photograph of myself with some of my church helpers and donation committee.

Once you signal you are happy with my information I will forward you the text which you need to write, then scan and return to me.

Blessings,

Father Ted Crilley.

[Ted Crilley AKA as Max, from the great Phoenix Nights!]

 

 

 

Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 10:49:31 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Thanks

However, let me see the letter u are taking about

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear John,

Many thanks for your quick reply. Please write by hand the text below, then forward it to me ASAP. On receipt of your text (hand written) I will then book my flight to you and I will forward you the flight booking details. Please also confirm your full address by writing it at the top of your letter.

Blessings,

Father Ted Crilley.

[LETTER ATTACHED]

 

 

[John is asking for too much now. His suspicions will have to be stopped in their tracks]

Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 12:55:04 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Thanks for the mail. Please sorry for the inconvenience. I need a picture of wife, children and you are together.Then I will forward the said agreement to you.

Thanks

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear John,

Sorry, you are now being very incongrusive. [Don't know what that word means, I just made it up!]

It's up to you; if you do not want the donation please let me know and I will forward it to a more worthy cause.

Time is very short.

Ted Crilley.

 

 

[We're back on course]

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 11:42:08 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Dear Rev Father,

really appreciate your concern for this foundation

i pray that the lord will bless u the more.I will send the hand written letter to you immediately so that you can pls confirm our dedication to your gesture.

We the entire foundation are expecting you very soon.

Thanks.

John Walker.

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear Mr. Walker,

Thank you for your email and I will contact you again as soon as your letter is received.

Sincerely,

Father Ted Crilley

 

 

[A pathetic excuse follows]

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 12:43:08 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: tender....Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Sir,

Please sir, we beg your pardon. We would not be able to send this agreement letter (in hand written) because of our scanner that just developed a fault. We are very soory for this sir.

However, we would like to tender this letter on your arrival down to Nigeria to confirm our loyalty and appreciation to the church of holy cow.

Sir, we hope that you have accept our apology?

Moreover, we would like to know if you are still coming on Wednesday 29th Ocotber, 2003. Or there is a change in a schedule. And if you are coming, how can our representatives identify you? Tell us the airline and other relevants informations.

We awaits your response

John Walker

 

 

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear John,

I am sorry but I have spoken to my donation committee and they will not let me travel to you until this letter is received. If you cannot correct it before Wednesday then I will have to fly direct to Nairobi and on receipt of your letter I will fly to your location. I will be travelling with my laptop computer so I will be able to keep in constant touch.

Sincerely,

Father Ted.

 

 

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 13:42:02 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

Ok sir. I will try all I could to send this asap

 

 

[No reply from John for xxxx. Time to ask what's happening?]

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear Sir,

It has been many days now since your last email. Am I to presume that you no longer require this donation?

Please let me know ASAP as I have other people who would benefit from this money if you do not require it.

Sincerely,

Father Ted Crilley.

 

 

[Finally the hand written document arrives]

Date: Sat, 8 Nov 2003 01:39:05 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316

father ted,

We are sorry for the lateness in sending this.

Please get the attached document for the appreciation of what you are abou tto do

Hand written document

 

Sadly the document that John sent wasn't very clear. All my attempts to try to clear it up failed to improve it much, so here is a typed version of what john wrote:

"To the committee of The Church of The Holy Cow.

Dear Committee members,

Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316 Date: 26/10/03

My name is John Walker of the Moses Hand Foundation.

May I thank you for the gracious gift that your church is bringing to me. I am a very cretinous man, and I bless the Lord for bringing your contact to me. May the lord show you that I am a true wanker, and that the church will fill my gonads with the holy milk of the Holy Cow (Ermintrude). I promise that I will wank with this payment truthfully and to the benefit of all good men. I pledge this in the name of The Church of The Holy cow as I am a complete tosser of the highest order. My intellectual prowess would pale into insignificance compared to a holy flea.

Your generous donation will help to rid our country of Child Abuse and the badness that resides in the hearts of our youths. Indeed your money will be used very wisely, and we will trickle it to almost sod-all within a very small stretch of time. We shall create National Seminars for our youth's. We shall ensure they are fully stained by semen and sent asunder for buttock testing and sphincter probing.

Dear committee members, please be assured that your generous donation will be wisely used, and for one nine will be how you shall remember me.

My grateful thanks,

Signed,

John Walker."

Juvenile I know, but the point here is to make the scammer look like an idiot!

 

 

[I try to get a better image]

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: moseshandfoundation@totalmail.com

Dear Sir,

I am sorry but the image you have sent is far too small and it cannot be read. The writing and image is too small. Please can you scan the image again in a larger size.

Sincerely,

Father Ted Crilley.

 

UPDATE:

Sadly, weeks have gone by and I never received a reply from Mr. Walker. Either he twigged I was baiting him or he lost the will to live!

I sent a reminder to him, but I was ignored (not for the first time!).

 

END.

 

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