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TITLE: Another f*#king scambait
SCAMMER NAME: Charles Bosah/Andy Uba
SCAMMER LOCATION: Lagos, Nigeria
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers

Here we have yet another bog-standard 419 scam. This time I decided to see if this scammer would accept being cursed at, so I decided to invent a new type of Tourette's Syndrome.

Please not that this scambait is in no way meant to poke fun at real sufferers, rather it is a test at the level of abuse that can be given to a scammer.

WARNING: Lots of bad language follows, so if you are easily offended then please do not read any further.

 

From: Charles Bosah
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 3, 2006
Subject: Reply

FROM THE DESK OF
DR,CHARLES BOSAH
MUTUAL TRUST BANK [P.L.C]
HEAD QUATERS BRANCH
VICTORIA ISLAND,
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
DEAR FRIEND,

My name is DR CHARLES OBOSAH, INTERNAL AUDITOR MUTUAL TRUST BANK PLC. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of our bank Mr.JONATHAN GHUNIAM with account number 14-255-2004/ASTB/123-99 who perished in an auto-crash in october 15 2003.

Since the demise of this our customer, I personally has watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$9..5m (Nine Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars), which has been with our branch for a very long time.

On this note, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin as no one has come up to be the next of kin.
The banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay more than four years, because money will be recalled to the bank treasury as unclaimed after this period. In view of this, I decided to seek through internet whom to confine in for this transaction. I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased.

So that the proceeds of this account valued at $9.5 million dollars can be paid to your account for sharing. 65% to me and 30% to you, while 5% should be for reimbursement of incidental expenses that may be incured during the transaction or tax as your government may require.

I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free safe and legal. we have to hire an attorney who will protect you legally,and for benefit of doubt position you as the next of kin and beneficiary.that you should not entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer can be finalized as soon as possible.

When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail on this mail box including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers and your address for quick communication.

Your Friend
DR CHARLES OBOSAH

 

 

The disclaimer I put at the beginning of my reply to Bosah below is included on all my email to him, however for reason of not wasting space I have only included it once here.

From: Colin Carver
To: Charles Bosah
Date: March 3, 2006

IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ THIS DISCLAIMER BEFORE YOU PROCEED
THIS WILL AVOID CONFUSION AND FALSE IMPRESSIONS

The sender of the message MR. COLIN CARVER is a sufferer of Tourette Syndrome, which is a medical condition which affects the sufferer in various ways. For more information please visit www.xxxxx.com Mr. Colin Carver, the sender of the message below is a sufferer of the more antisocial sub-strain, psyeudo monimomenemeric Tourettes (completely made up ailment!). This means that he sometimes uncontrollably inserts swear/curse words into his speech and messages. Please understand that this is NOT DELIBERATE but a medical condition. Mr. Carver is medically UNABLE to control this. Dr. Phillis Simpson BSC. HHGTTG.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Dear Mr. Bosah,

Thank you for your interesting fucking email. I have to say that I am very interested shit in your proposition however before I am prepared to proceed any faggot further I would like you to answer me some questions if you can.

1. Please can you tit-wank tell me how long this procedure will take to complete?
2. Will I be required to travel to complete this financial deal?
3. Is it completely arse legal?

Let me know the answer to the shagmenow questions above so that I can be in a better position to judge if I can help you.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

From: Charles Bosah
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 8, 2006
Subject: DETAILS

FROM THE DESK OF
DR CHARLES BOSAH
MUTUAL TRUST BANK [PLC]
HEAD QUATERS BRANCH
VICTORIA ISLAND
LAGOS- NIGERIA.



ATTN;COLIN


COMPLIMENTS AND HOW ARE YOU?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY TO MY PROPOSALS, IN REGARDS TO YOUR QUESTIONS LET ME ANSWER YOU ONE AFTER THE OTHER.
[1]HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE TO SEAL THE DEAL. IF YOU CAN GIVE THE ARTONEY I WILL HIRE FOR YOU, TO POSITION YOU LEGAL AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND IT WILL TAKE US 11 WORKING DAYS TO PERFECT YOUR PAPERS FOR THE TRANSFER.
[2]TRAVELLING, YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO GO ANY WHERE SINCE THE TRANSACTION IS BANK TO BANK.
[3] LEGALITY, YES IT IS ABSOLUTELY LEGAL AND SAFE THAT IS WHY I AM GOING TO ENGAGE THE SERVICES OF AN ARTONEY FOR YOU.

IT IS ON FORTURNATE THAT YOU HAVE DIFFERENT LAWS FOR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, HERE IN NIGERIA WHEN AN ACCOUNT IS MORE THAN 6YEARS ON SERVICED THE BANK WILL CONFISCATE THE FUND THAT NECCESITATED MY CONSULTING YOU TO STAND AS THE BENEFICIARY SINCE OUR CLIENTS DIED WITH OUT LEAVING ANY TRACE TO HIS RELATION OR NEXT OF KIN.
PLEASE IF YOUR CAPEBLE TO ASSIST ME TO TRANSFER THIS FUND REPLY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THE CARLOS BANK DIRECTORS WILL NOT CONFISCATE THIS MONEY,AFTER ALL YOU HAVE OPHANAGES,DESTITUES HOMES, AND OLD PEOPLES HOME WHO THE NEED THE FUND MORE. I TOO NEED IT.

PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR FOLLOWING DETAILS
[1]AGE AND OCCUPATION
[2]CONTACT ADDRESS
[3]PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS
[4]A COPY OF YOUR INTERNATINAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LINCENCE
[5]BANK DETAILS WHERE THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERD INTO

WHEN YOU BRING THIS I CREATE A FILE IN OUR BANK THAT THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND IN READNESS FOR TRANSFER WHEN YOUR ARTONEY WILL FILE PAPERS ON YOUR BEHALF.

BEST OF LUCK


DR CHARLES BOSAH
INTERNAL AUDITOR
MUTUAL TRUST BANK [PLC]

 

 

I send Bosah my details, all of which are false except for the fax and telephone number.

From: Colin Carver
To: Charles Bosah
Date: March 3, 2006

Dear Mr. Bosah,

Thank you for your reply arsewhacker it was interesting to read.

Eleven working days seems tickle-me-plums acceptable to me however I shall have to has assurances that it will not take too much longer than that as my time is extremely valuable and lurve-juice I cannot afford to devote my attention to other projects for too long.

It is good to know that travelling will not be required to facilitate the completion of this fucking project. This is encouraging as the need for travel would probably dissuade me from taking pissflaps part. Again I cannot be away from my company's work for too long as we are in a very busy period.

It is of paramount importance that this project is 100% legal because I cannot afford to be involved in any fucking project that may fall foul of the law and damage the good reputation of my company which has taken many years to build up. The single most important rimming thing to me is the smooth running and good name of my company.

Regarding your further questions, my details are as follows:

Name:
Colin Farquhar Carver

Contact address:
Single Systems Ltd.
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.

Telephone number:
+44 8707 65X XXX

Fax number:
+44 8701 31X XXX

Bank:
Barclays Bank Corporate Banking
Winter Hey Lane
Horwich
Bolton
BL6 7NZ

Account No:

18120007221

Sort Code:
22-17-83

Please note that I cannot presently supply you with a copy of my wanking passport as I am in my office at the moment and my passport is locked in my home sperm deposit safe. I will forward it on to you in the next few days.

I shall also require a scan of your passport/drivers license for your ugly bastard identification too.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

I get an email from Bosah's attorney Andy Uba

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 8, 2006
Subject: I WENT TO THE BANK THIS MORNING FOR ENQUIRE, MY FINDINGS

FROM THE DESK OF
BARR, ANDY UBA[S.A.N]
ADVOCATE AND SOLICITORS
OF THE SUPEREME COURT
OF NIGERIA.

ATTN;

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT DR,CHARLES OBOSAH THE AUDITOR OF MUTUAL TRUST BANK [PLC] ENGAGED MY SERVICES FOR YOU IN A BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS THAT INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF $9.5 MILLION DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. WHICH I HAVE ACCEPTED TO SERVE AS YOUR ARTONEY AND POSITION YOU LEGAL AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.
I VISITED THE BANK THIS MORNING AND I HAD A MEETING WITH THE MANAGING DIRECTOR OF MUTUAL TRUST BANK[PLC] HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE FUND AND THE BANKS REQUIREMENTS FOR THE RELEASEING OFTHE FUND IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT WHICH INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING.
[1] AFFIDAVITT OF CLAIM
[2]DEATH CERTIFICATE [OF THEIR CLIENT]
[3]LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION
[4]A COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LINCENCE

HE PROMISED ME THAT WHEN I SUBMITT ALL THIS DOCUMENTS TO THE BANK THAT THE BANK IN CONJUCTION WITH THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA BECAUSE OF THE VOLUME OF FUND WILL FREELY TRANSFER YOUR MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT, THEY TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD CALL BACK FOR CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA CONDITION FOR TRANSFER.
I WILL BE GOING TO THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT NOW TO INQUIRE HOW MUCH IT WILL COST US TO PROCURE THE DOCUMENTS, WHICH I WILL GET BACK TO YOU LATER IN THE DAY.
I ATTARCH MY FAMILY PICTURE FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

BEST OF LUCK

REGARDS

BARR, ANDY UBA[S.A.N]

Uba attaches his pictures, obviously scanned from a magazine:

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: March 8, 2006

Dear Mr. Uba,

Thank you for your fucking email. I look forward to hearing from you later suck me off today.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

Uba wastes no time in asking for money.

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 10, 2006
Subject: PLEASE HOW DO WE PAY THIS BILL FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT

FROM THE DESK OF
BARR,ANY UBA[S.A.N]
ADVOCATE AND SOLICITORS
OF THE SUPEREME COURT
OF NIGERIA.


ATTN;CARVER,

COMPLIMENTS,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE CONCLUDED THE ARRANGMENTS WITH THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND, BUT THE DELAY WILL BE HOW FAST WE CAN PROCURE THIS VITAL DOCUMENTS THAT WILL LEGALLY BACK YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.THE COURT GAVE ME THIS PRICE FOR THE DOCUMENTS TO BE OBTAINED ON YOUR BEHALF.

[1] AFFIDAVITT OF CLAIM $20,000.BECAUSE OF THE VOLUME.
[2]DEATH CERTIFICATE $20,000. FOR A FORIGNER, THAT IS FOR THE DEAD MAN WHO DEPOSITED THE MONEY.
[3]LETTER OF ADMINSTRATION $10,000. FROM THE COURT.

BANKS REQUIREMENTS.
[1] MANDOTORY $10,000.FOR MUTUAL TRUST BANK
[2] CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA PROCCESING FEE FOR YOUR VOUCHER AND $20,000
[3] MISCELLENOUS EXPENSES IS $5000,
YOU CAN SPLIT THE MONEY AND PAY IT BITS LIKE $3000 OR $4000 AND PAY IT DIFFERENTLY,SO THAT WE WILL MEET UP WITH TIME.


I AM PROUD TO TELL YOU WITH ALL SINCERERITY THAT AFTER 48HOURS OF THIS PAYMENT THAT YOUR FUND WILL BE PAID IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT.AND I AM READY TO STAKE ANY THING,EVEN MY LAWYER REGALIA.
PLEASE HOW DO WE PAY THIS MONEY?
FOR THE PAYMENT YOU CAN PAY IT EITHER WAY THROUGH MONEY GRAMME OR THE OFF SHORE ACCOUNT OF MY FRIEND.

FOR MONEY GRAMME USE THIS INFORMATION;
[1] NAME;ERNEST EGELONU
[2]TEST QUESTION-PET NAME- ANSWER [NEST]

FOR MY FRIENDS OFFSHORE ACCOUNT;
[1]FIRST COMMERCIAL BANK.
TAAN BRANCH, 30,CHUNGKING SOUTH ROAD,
SEC,1,TAIPEI TAIWAN.R,O,C.SWIFT CODE;
FCBKTWTPOBU,
ACCOUNT NUMBER;16186001092.
BENEFICIARY NAME;FORTUNE TIME INTERNATIONAL
COMPANY LIMITED.

PLEASE YOUR MAXIMUN CO-OPERATION IS NEED NOW FOR ANY CENT YOU CONTRIBUTED IN THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE ACCOUNTED AND THE RECIPT AND WILL BE BALANCED TO YOU OR WHO EVER YOU BORROWED FROM.I WILL FORWARD THE RECIPT OF ALL THE EXPENSES EVERYBODY INCURED IN THE CAUSE OF THIS TRANSFER. AND I WILL FORWARD EVERY DETAILS FOR YOUR PERUSAL, AFTER YOU HAVE PAID FOR THE PROCUREMENT OF THE VITAL DOCUMENTS FOR THE TRANSFER. PLEASE TRUST GOD AND ME FOR I AM DOING EVERY THING WITHIN MY REACH TO SEE YOUR MONEY IS TRANSFERD INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

BEST OF LUCK

REGARDS

BARR, ANDY UBA[S.A.N]

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: March 10, 2006

Dear Mr. Uba,

I have absolutely no fucking idea how we are going to pay that screw money dude. I certainly cannot pay it fart at this moment in time as my money is held in a high interest campache account, and I have to give 60 days notice before I can withdraw more than $1,000.

You can forget money fucking gram. Last time I used that I got fucking ripped off by the money gram people. I was sending $500 to a doctor in the US for pile cream and the recipient never received it and I lost all of my asscream cash.

Listen, I can pay the money but I only have access to $37,850 in cash so if that will help to speed things up then if you can get somebody to meet me I will give it to you but I will want the payment back from the fucking final fund. So the money is available but I need someone to meet me at my location to pick it up. If that cannot be dickwad done then I do not know how we can fookin proceed.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 10, 2006
Subject: PLEASE TRANSFER IT INTO THIS ACCOUNT FAST,AND SAVE ME FROM SHAME.

FROM THE DESK OF
BARR, ANDY UBA
ADVOCATE AND SOLICITORS
OF THE SUPEREME COURT
OF NIGERIA.

ATTN;CARVER.

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT I RECIEVED YOUR LETTER WITH DISPPOINTMENT, I TOLD YOU THE URGENCY I WILL LIKE TO TREAT YOUR CASE AND FACE MY LEGAL PRACTICE YOU STILL WANT TO PROLONG IT, AND IF IT TAKE MORE THAN 11 WORKING DAYS I WILL CHARGE YOU FOR IT.

YOU ARE NOT PAYING THE MONEY COMPLETE YET YOU ARE COMPLIANING IF YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT CAPEBLE FOR THE TRANSACTION YOU TELL ME?

PLEASE ASK YOUR BANK OR YOUR MANAGER TO MAKE PAYMENT TO THIS ACCOUNT.

FIRST COMMERCIAL BANK,
TAAN BRANCH, 30 CHUNGKING SOUTH ROAD,
SEC,1,TAIPEI TAIWAN, R,O,C.
SWIFT CODE;FCBKTWTPOBU.
ACCOUNT NUMBER;16186001092.
BENEFICIARY;FORTUNE TIME INTERNATIONAL
COMPANY LIMITED.

PLEASE DO IT IMMEDIATELY FOR I AM GOING TO MORTGAGE ONE OF MY PROPERTY TO COMPLETE THE MONEY SINCE YOU ARE CAN NOT PAY ALL. I WANT TO SAVE MY FACE FROM THE SHAME,FROM THE BANK DIRECTORS WHICH I TOLD THAT THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND HAS COME TO TRANSFER HIS FUND THAT I REPRESENT HIM.

PLEASE THIS IS A CRITICAL TIME IN MY CAREER AS A LAWYER I HAVE NEVER REPRESENTED UNSERIOUS PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

I WANT TO SEE YOUR PAYMENT SLIP SCANED AND SENT TO MY BOX IMMEDIATELY. BECAUSE I DONT INVOLVE MY SELF IN THIS KIND OF MESS. WESTRN UNION WORKS TO.

BEST OF LUCK

REGARDS

BARR, ANDY UBA[S.A.N]

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: March 10, 2006

Dear Mr. Uba,

Do what you want. If I can't pay in the way I fucking told you then I have no further interest in this deal.

Goodbye.

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

Uba then sends and email with no text, just the following subject line:

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 11, 2006
Subject: MY FRIEND IN LONDON WILL CALL YOU GIVE HIM THE MONEY FAST.SO THAT WE CAN MEET UP WITH TIME.

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: March 11, 2006

When you are writing to me, address me fucking PROPERLY, not just in the subject matter. If you cannot take time to fucking write me a proper email then don't fucking write to me at all.

Your friend in London had better be prepared to come to Bolton because I will NOT go to London. I want to make that fucking 100% crystal clear to you.

If you friend THINKS he can call me to convince me to meet him in London he will be 100% wasting his time. You have been warned.

Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.

 

 

Uba's representative, who is supposed to be in London gets in touch.

From: Smith Luca
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 16, 2006
Subject: Hello

Dear Mr Colin Carver

My name is Smith Luca the Business partner of Mr Andy Uba.He informed me that i should help him in collecting some money from you as i happen to be in london on a business trip.I had tried all the numbers he furnished me with but could not get you.Please i am planning on leaving london for india on the 20.03.06 and would like you to fix an arrangement of how i can meet with you to collect the said fund.better still if you can paid it into my account that will be better.

I await you response.
Mr Smith Luca.

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Smith Luca
Date: March 16, 2006

Dear Mr. Smith,

I do not understand the problems you are having contacting me. Mr. Uba has already spoken to me on the phone number that I gave him. I shall repeat the numbers for you without the international dialling codes which of course you do not need as you are also in the UK:

Office: 08707 65X XXX
Mobile: 07017 00X XXX

I am available to meet at my location any day of the week other than Friday as I am away on a contract signing.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Smith Luca
To: Colin Carver
Date: March 17, 2006
Subject: Hello

Dear Mr Carver,

I received your mail with many thanks,How are we to conclude this arrangement. I have tried to call the number but i was told by the operator that will be costly. Also i do not know how to get to your place can you pay the money into my account?

Thanks

Smith

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Smith Luca
Date: March 17, 2006

Dear Mr. Smith,

You obviously do not have a clue how to operate a telephone. The call will NOT be expensive as it is a UK inland call! I am only 300 miles away from your location! Are you REALLY in London? I doubt that VERY much.

You will not get one single penny of my money in your account boy.

Sincerely,

Colin Carver
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

I hear nothing from Luca, but eventually weeks later Andy Uba gets back to me with a very short message.

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: April 3, 2006
Subject: READY

ARE YOU NOW READY TO PAY FOR THE DOCUMENTATIONS?

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: April 3, 2006

Dear Mr. Uba,

I have been ready for your documentation for nearly a month now.

Colin Carver
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Uba now sends a blank email, with just a short instruction in the subject.

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: April 4, 2006
Subject: please use the passport information i gave you to send the money and send the control numbers to me

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: April 4, 2006

Are you too fucking STUPID to write me a proper email Mr. "Uba"? DON'T fucking order me around like a little kid. If you can't address me in a proper manner then please FUCK OFF and leave me alone. I have IMPORTANT business to be getting on with and I will not put up with having to deal with little children who know nothing about business.

Now, for the THIRD FUCKING TIME, you will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER get one single penny out of me unless you send somebody to MY LOCATION to pick it up in cash. If you cannot do that then FUCK OFF. Do NOT send that stupid motherfucker Mr. Smith Luca becasue that moron can't even use a telephone. I would not trust him with my money ever.

Colin Carver
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Uba must be frustrated. Uppercase characters appear once more!

From: Andy Uba
To: Colin Carver
Date: April 4, 2006
Subject: CONSIDER THIS OR FORGET IT

ATTN;COLLIN.

IF YOU CAN NOT SEND THE MONEY FOR THE DOCUMENTATION I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO UNLESS YOU CAN GIVE ME INVITATION LETTER AND SEND ME TICKET AND BTA TO COME TO BOLTON MY SELF,I THINK THIS IS THE FINAL SOLUTION OR WE FORGET ABOUT THE BUSINESS,

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS OPTION.

REGARDS

BARR, ANDY UBA[SAN]+

 

 

From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: April 6, 2006

Screw you, asshole.

 

 

Alas, I never heard from Andy again!

 

END.


 


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