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TITLE: Get Mapping
SCAMMER NAME: Abu Moses/Ntomcukwu Ubabuike
SCAMMER LOCATION: Lagos, Nigeria
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers

We've seen a few scammers send in masses of handwritten text so I think it's time we moved on to some other similar time-consuming activity for them.

Cue Mr. Abu Moses and friends:

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: January 25, 2006
Subject: Reply

FROM:MR. ABU MOSES,
ACCOUNT OFFICER.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BTCIBANK, LOME- TOGO.

Attention Please,

I am Mr. Abu, from the western part of TOGO LOME working with the above bank.

I will want to seek your assistance after my discovery during auditing in this bank, after getting your contact via the web intelligent directory then, as Account officer I discovered an abandoned sum in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in 26th of December 2004 Tsunami natural disaster where he lost his life and whole family who were on holidays in Phuket Thailand Since we got this information about his death, we have been expecting his next of Kin to come over and claim his money because we can not release it unless somebody applies for it as next of Kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in
our banking and financial policies but unfortunately we learnt that his supposed next of kin or relation died along side with him in the crash leaving no body behind to claim the money.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I as the head of this accounting department to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed bills.Do not view this as been illegal but to help people like us that have no hope in life instead of the bank converting this much money to the security funds of the bank because if you dont assist us the bank will lay hold on this money.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after long period, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.The total sum in question is:US$14 million US dollars (FOURTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS)The request for a foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and an indegine cannot stand as next of kin to the deceased family and moreover we as bankers are not allowed by law to operate foreign accounts. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged into your account, there are certain banking protocols to be followed in which I am very ready to furnish you with details and guide you accordingly.

However, note that this business is 100% risk free, and I am prepared to offer you 35% for your assistance in this business, 60% for me and 5% for transfer expence to tranfer the fund into your account. The following website shows the extent of my discovery in which I saw the deceased name and families included and the next of kin dying along with everyone, hence leaving no next of kin. The website is http://missingpersons.or.th/index.en.html http://tsunamimissingamericans.blogspot.com

The above website is for your own sighting for you to have full knowledge of the venture and partnership we are about bring together in unity and oneness of mind towards good success.

Proof if any more were needed that these scammers have no soul, no pity, and no depths to which they will not sink to steal money from people, using the tragic deaths of thousands of innocent people as a tool for their scams.

I will upon your response forward to you the 3(three) document that may required or demand by the Bank for the release of the fund.

They are:

* DEATH CERTIFICATE OF MR. JOHN CREEK SCHELPERT.
* CERTIFICATE OF INCORPORATION OF MR. JOHN CREEK SCHELPERT COMPANY
* AUTHORISATION CERTIFICATE OF MR JOHN SCHELPERT

Hence, I am waiting for your response in this respect for us to proceed while I give you ALL neccessary details, accordingly AT : mosesXXXXX@XXXemail.com

Your partner and friend,

Mr. Abu Moses.

 

 

I open up with a familiar but slightly modified routine.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: January 25, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Thank you very much for you interesting email, it was kind of you to contact me with your proposition.

Unfortunately I am not in a position to help you at this point in time as my company are conducting a very important 4 year long research project on Advanced Handwriting Recognition and Graphology systems. Our work is extremely intensive and vitally important for our clients. They have committed over eight million dollars to our project and we are nearing the final stages. After nearly 4 years of research and development we are now only three months away from the conclusion and I am afraid I can allow nothing to interfere with the project until its completion.

Just for your information we are currently looking for new employees with map drafting skills to reproduce maps by hand from copies that we provide. We are offering three-year contracts to suitable applicants:

Job Title: Map Transcribers
Office: Cartography Department
Period: 3 years with a 1 year contract extension every 12 months
Salary: US $173,000.00 per annum base with bonuses
Positions available: x5

If you know of anyone who may be suitable for such a position then please do contact me. Of course we would need to meet with them for an interview but we will be happy to pay all travel expenses in advance, along with all hotel booking fees etc.

Once again I am sorry I can not help you with your proposition.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Of course, as expected Abu knows just the people for the job!

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: January 25, 2006
Subject: God is able

Dear Sir,

I know that God is able to do Good to his people as I can see it in you.

Now that you can not promise to help me on my transfer proposal becuase you are afraid that you don't allow anything to interfere with the project you have at hand until its completion.

Job Title: Map Transcribers
Office: Cartography Department
Period: 3 years with a 1 year contract extension every 12 months
Salary: US $173,000.00 per annum base with bonuses
Positions available: x5

I know of somepeople in West-Africa who can be suitable for such position.I do not know whelther you may need people from West-Africa. Since you will pay for the travelling expenses and the hotel bills and their return ticket in Advance if the inteview did not favour all of them.

Once again I am asking you to think on how you can help me on this proposition.

Thanks.

Best Regards.

Abu Moses.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: January 25, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Thank you very much for your prompt reply, it is appreciated.

We are happy to accept people from any part of the world so long as their skills are demonstrate, so if your contacts are from West Africa then that will not present any problems at all. We already employ for people from Nairobi, Kenya, and they do extremely good work, so I would be very interested if you have people who are qualified for such work.

Let me explain what the project requires:


My company are involved in advanced handwriting recognition systems. We are a multimillion dollar company, and presently we are looking for trainee cartographers. Although most road and street map are of course these days created on computer systems, we have a requirement to create systems that can recognise hand drawn maps. Many maps have to be drawn by hand because of various reasons, such as the location is not suitable for the setting up of computerised cartography systems etc. These hand drawn maps are then brought to us and our recognition systems convert the hand drawn maps into professional computerised maps.

So, what we require are people who have the ability to draw by hand copies of street or roadmaps for us to test and train our computer recognition systems on.

We require people who are proficient at copying/drawing by hand, copies of maps. If you think you have people who are qualified to do such work then we would certainly be very interested in inviting them over to discuss various employment packages.

We would of course be willing to pay all expenses in advance including of course flight tickets etc, however before we would be willing to interview them here we would require a small sample of their work to be sent to us by email attachment. We would send you a sample streetmap my email attachment and your people would need to make a copy of the maps BY HAND in as much detail as possible and then return a scan of their work by email attachment. If the work is acceptable then we would immediately give your people an invitation to come and meet with us, and of course send your travel expenses etc. by whatever way best suits your means.

Please signal your agreement to our terms and then I will forward you a sample map to copy. Also please inform me how many people you have that would like to apply for the available positions. Currently we have 10 positions available, however I expect these positions to be filled quite quickly.

You may contact me on +44 8707 XXX XXX if you require further instructions.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: January 26, 2006
Subject: Gods given vision

Sir,

It seems like a dream,but it is a reality.It is a dream-come-true.What I thought was a lost vision,turned out to be God's directed vision. Self-trust is the first secret of success.I ask for what I want,but I am willing to take what God gives me.It may be best than what I ask for.I learn to let God run my life.

The results will be best than myself runing my life. A wise investor is one who searches for good opportunity and not just any opportunity.A man who lacks good counseling will always make mistakes in his investments.

"He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool;but who so walked wisely,he shall be delivered" (proverb 28vs26).

Back to our project: Stealing cash from unsuspecting victims!

Sir,

I have to come down to Lagos and make contact on people that I know well who are proficient at copying/drawing by hand,Copies of maps.I have Six people who are qualified to do such work for you now. You can send the samples of a street map by E-mail attachment and I will travel with it to Lagos where I have such people to discuss with them face to face. My people would need to make a copy of the maps by hand in as much details as possible and then return a scan of their work by E-mail attachment to you.So forward to me a sample map to copy.

Currently I have six and I hope when I get to Lagos the 10 positions available will be filled quite quickly by God's grace.

I am serious about wanting employment for good people of God.I will use my two weeks holidays to work for the success of this project.Please promise me that you will show gratitude for all my hard work and kind assistance and that you will help to mobilize me when I am in Lagos I will call your personal office line no:+44 8707 XXX XXX

Let me know your minimum Education Requirements,Age,Male or Female.

Thanks.

Abu Moses.


 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: January 27, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Thank you once again for your reply.

It is good to learn that you may have six people with the required skills to submit samples to us for inspection. It would suit my company very well indeed if we were able to employ a large group from the same location as this would cut down very significantly on paperwork and other matters.

However each applicant must submit a different sample, so shortly I will forward to you six different map samples for them to work on, along with further instructions.

Education, age and gender requirements are very minimal. What is most important to us is the ability to copy in as much detail as possible. Details is in the eye, not in the brain, so qualification for this particular work are unimportant. What is important is that all your applicants have a full and valid international passport as this will be required of course in order to come to my country to work.

I will forward the map data shortly.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

The next day I send Abu an email containing 6 very high resolutions scans of streetmaps and further instructions.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: January 28, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

As I promised, you will find attached the sample maps for each of the six people you have told me that are interested in our positions.

Here are the instructions for submitting the test samples:

You will find attached to this email a large detailed images of random map pages. You will be required to duplicate these map images in as much detail as you possible can BY HAND ONLY.

It is of extreme importance that the finished work is large and clear and represents the original images as closely as possible. I shall leave the size of the map you recreate to your own choice, however the bigger and more detailed you are able to make it the better for us.

Because of the size and the detail of the images you may of course require multiple sheets of paper to reproduce them, that is fine so long as the main rule that detail is kept as close to the original as possible. Depending on the size of the piece of paper you are working on of course you may require multiple pieces to recreate the entire maps. If this is the case then of course you can scan each completed piece separately and send them each by email attachment and we will ensure the scans are pasted together correctly.

You will notice the attached maps are in colour. You may if you wish reproduce the maps in black & white, however it will be looked on more favourably if you are able to reproduce the map in multiple colours. The colours DO NOT have to match the original image exactly though.

When you have completed the hand drawn version of the maps you will then need to scan the pages IN HIGH QUALITY to that the image or images you send back to us by email attachment of LARGE and CLEAR.

On receipt of the completed scans the work will be evaluated and if it is of an acceptable standard then you will be immediately invited over to our offices and offered a placement with us.

I hope that these instructions are understandable to you. Please inform me when you will be able to send us the completed samples.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

I attach the map samples (the versions below are much smaller than the actual ones sent):

Click on thumbnails above to enlarge

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: January 28, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Mr Arthur Dent,

Thanks for your E-mail.

I have received the 5 email containig the maps.As I told you that I will be traveling to Lagos,I will be leaving Lome on sunday to lagos you can call me on this line:234-804-230-XXXX from monday I will be waiting for your call.

Then you will give me one week for me and my people to sit down and work out something to present to you.

I note that qualification for this particular work are unimportant.

Also my applicants I will work to see that all of them have their valid international passport as I know that this will be required of course in order for them to come over to your country to work.When the hand drawning vision of the maps is completed and accepted by you.

Make a coment on this area. Please promise me that you will show gratitude for all my hard work and kind assistance and that you will help to mobilize me while I am in Lagos. Well, I will definitely say thank you.

Thanks.

Abu.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: January 28, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Thank you for your email below.

My company will be happy to offer you the usual agent's fee if any of your applicant's work is acceptable. Our usual payment to employees agents is $3,250 per employee.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 1, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear, Arthur Dent.

Thanks for your mail. I am in lagos with my people.

Yes there is progress by the grace of God we will come up with some thing to show before sunday.

I am runing into some cost like hotel bills becuase this people comes out from lagos state. After some extra cash eh Abu? You're backing the wrong horse here I'm afraid.

Could you please call me immediately on this line 234-804-230 XXXX

Thanks.

Abu.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: February 2, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

I was unable to get any kind of connection on the telephone number you gave me below. When I contacted the international operator I was told that there are often problem with the telephone system in Nigeria. Please feel free to contact me on my private office line of (UK) +44 8708 74X XXX

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 3, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear, Arthur Dent.

Thanks for your E-mail. Yes, Nigeria telecommunication is very bad. Also I am experencing it here.I will find time to call you tomorrow sir.

Please,I humbly request that you send us the original copies of the street maps for us to see it clearly and to do a clean work on it. For we have been having problems in printing it out from the internet in colours but we couldn't. Now we have printed it in black and white with A3 paper but we couldn't see it clear. You can send it to me through speed post like,EMS,DHL etc.

Please this will help me and my people who are already at the work.Ten people are already working but we can not get it clear becuase of the printing erros that comes out from the internet.

After getting it right I will send it back to you through speed post immediately for you to see and confirm our work.The people are willing to work with your company.

My address in Lagos is this:

ATTENTION:MR ABU MOSES
NO:57 PIPE LINE ROAD,IDIMU.
pipeline bus stop.
IDIMU, LAGOS,NIGERIA,WEST AFRICA.
Telephone:234-804-230 XXXX

Please cooperate.When you send it try and inform me with the courier service you use and the air way bill no.

Thanks.

Mr Abu Moses

 

 

Post my maps to Abu? That would involve spending money. That's not going to happen here buddy!

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: February 3, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

I am sorry but we do not send samples by mail of any kind. Unfortunately if you are unable to reproduce the sample maps from the attachments then we will be unable to do business at this time. Thank you for your offer to help however I think we have come to the end of our partnership.

I wish you much luck for the future.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 3, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear,Arthur Dent.

You said you do not send sample by mail or any kind ok.I want to know if you want us to stop or you want us to continue to make sure we reproduce it through the attachment.

Do you think that we have come to an end of our partnership god for bid We will do our best to reproduce it within short time.

Reply on this.

Thanks.
Abu

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: February 3, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

If you are still able to continue and send in acceptable samples then please do so. We are willing to continue if you are able to complete the work.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 4, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Arthur Dent.

Thanks for your E-mail.

I am still able to continue to complete the work and by the Grace of God I will send you Acceptable samples by next week.

Thanks.

Abu Moses.

 

 

Well, two weeks later Abu finally sends in the hand drawn map samples.

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 18, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Arthur Dent,

Do not assume that our delay is not that we are no longer wish to summit our samples to you.

It was due my work from monday to friday, you know from Lome, Togo to Lagos-Nigeria is almost a day journey by road.

Now you can see the two samples attached for you to empower us to continue.

You can reach me on this Number:234-802-6666906.

Thanks.

Mr Abu Moses.

Abu attaches the maps, which are less than impressive. Note these images are presented in actual size:

Crap! I think you will all agree!

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: February 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

I presume you are having a joke with me am I right?

Those images are so tiny that I cannot even see them correctly. They are far far far too small for me to view. You must either be having a joke with me or you have made some mistake. Those images are 100% totally unacceptable.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 18, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Mr.Arthur Dent.

Why do you think this way? I am doing my best to get you something good and myself. Please I am not joking. Can't you enlarge those Images? I am not having any joke with you my dear friend.

I will look for a flash drive on monday.Take it that I have made some mistake.I will do a new work and send it back to you.

Thanks.

Abu

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: February 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Those pictures are totally unacceptable. When printed out they are only ONE INCH wide! Did you not read the scanning direction in my previous email clearly. Let me quote from my email of 28th January:

"It is of extreme importance that the finished work is large and clear and represents the original images as closely as possible. I shall leave the size of the map you recreate to your own choice, however the bigger and more detailed you are able to make it the better for us."

"When you have completed the hand drawn version of the maps you will then need to scan the pages IN HIGH QUALITY to that the image or images you send back to us by email attachment of LARGE and CLEAR."


The size of the images and the size of the files are TINY. A good HIGH QUALITY scan should be at least 2 MEGABYTES in size. The physical size of the images should be at LEAST 2,000 pixels wide. Just compare the size of the picture YOU sent with the size of the ORIGINALS I sent. In fact, I have attached your image to this email, and my image to this email. It will be quite obvious to you how inadequate your image is.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 20, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Mr.Arthur Dent.

How are you today?

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail dated 18th feb,2006.

Now the problem is scanner. No it's not. The problem is the moron operating it.

I am willing to bring the finished work in a larger a clear images to your text as soon as possible.

Thanks.

Abu.

 

 

Two weeks later, Abu decides he's not up to the job.

From: Abu Moses
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 3, 2006
Subject: Re: Gods given vision

Dear Mr.Arthur Dent.

Becuase of my work,I am handing over to my close associate whom I know that his company can handle this project well as your taste.

Do not think that I am not willing to do something good for you and to myself.

Please process our Applications and do not close our application file.I would want my relationship to continue with you and your company.

Contact the Director : NTOMUBA AND PARTNERS WORLD WIDE INC.
NAME:PROPHET NTOMCHUKWU UBABUIKE.AT:ntomuba_XXXXXX@yahoo.com

I have forwarded all the Map Samples to him and he call me today and assuring me that as soon as you contact him and explain to him about this project yourself he will get into actions immediately and bring out those samples map within four days and the finished work will be sent to you.He said that if you still willing to continue with us he has men that can fill the ten positions.

Thanks for been patient with me.

Abu.

 

 

Time to give Abu a bit of a scare to prompt some action.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Abu Moses
Date: March 3, 2006

Dear Mr. Moses,

Pleaser forget this whole proposal. I am sorry but it seems I have completely wasted my time with people who are not actually interested in seeking work.

I will not under ay circumstances start chasing around people asking them if they need work. We have many dozens of real people here that would like such a position in my company, and unlike your contacts they are not intent on wasting my valuable time.

Please advise all your contacts that the positions are now no longer available.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

'Prophet' Ubabuike gets in touch.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 4, 2006
Subject: God's given vision

ATTN: MR. ARTHUR DENT.

The Director
Singlesideband Systems.

I am PROPHET NTOMCHUKWU UBABUIKE, The Director, Ntomuba And Partners,Inc.Lagos Nigeria.We are General Contractors, International Marketing Consultant,Agents.

I was first contacted by a friend MR ABU MOSES,Who works with a Bank in Lome Togo,West Africa.

Please Sir,do not feel that you are wasting time with people you want to give Employment for MR MOSES is not into this hand drawing JOB.

I have people who are interested completely to work with your company.Actually you have wasted your time in line with MR ABU MOSES without getting through what you want.Now it is through him that I got to know you and your company.Do not be annoryed with him for the time you have wasted.

The letter you sent to MR ABU MOSES he forwaded it to me to reply it to you,Please Sir,It is not that you are chasing people round asking them if they need job.I advise that we will continue from here.I hope to give you what you want exactly from Monday-Friday I will send you the samples maps which are already forward to my company for re-drawing by HAND.

My people has started drawing those maps which I will send the SIX finished Work before FRIDAY no waisting time.Give us the five working days.

Please before you say final that all the positions are no longer avalable,I advise you that my contact are avalable to fill the ten position I assure you.

I wait your response.

Best Regards.
PROPHET NTOMCHUKWU UBABUIKE.
Director, Ntomuba And Partners,Inc.

I decide to ignore this message.

 

 

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 8, 2006
Subject: The hand drawing vision maps are ready

MR ARTHUR DENT.

SIR,

I AM NOW READY TO SEND YOU THREE OF THE HAND DRAWING MAPS. ARE YOU WILLING TO RECEIVE THEM FROM ME?BEFORE I SEND THEM TO YOU.

IT WILL BE GREAT AS YOU RECEIVE IT.

THANKS.

PROPHET NTOMCHUKWU UBABUIKE.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: March 8, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Providing the scans are of HIGH quality and are LARGE and CLEAR then I shall accept them. I will trust you to inspect the scans personally to ensure that they are of large and very clear quality. If they are large and clear then yes I shall accept them. Please send them to our inspection account which is singlesideband.systems@xxxxl.com where we are able to receive large emails without affecting our business email system.

Once you have sent the three maps then please notify me at my official address and I shall get back to you as soon as possible.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Ubabuike lets me know the first set of maps are complete.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 9, 2006
Subject: The hand drawing vision maps are ready

Dear Sir,

As i promise you that i can do all thing possible to see that i send you this hand drawing revision (Three Maps).

I promise to send the remaining three on Monday

Thanks

UBABUIKE

Ubabuike attaches the maps which although are better than the last lot, are still rubbish scans!

Time to start laying the law down.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: March 9, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

The scans that you sent to me are absolutely of DISGUSTINGLY BAD size and scan quality. You are obviously the same as your partner and have ZERO seriousness in this deal. Not only are the scans TINY, but they are mostly blurred and absolutely 100% totally unacceptable. Have I waited many weeks for such rubbish?

The maps MAY be acceptable if they were scanned correctly, but it seems to me you have employed the skills of a blind man to do them for you.

These scans are an absolute joke. They are pathetic to the extreme. Do you have any idea what the words LARGE and CLEAR actually mean? You are insulting my intelligence. Please do not waste my time any further. I have SERIOUS people to deal with who want SERIOUS jobs. I have no time for your child's play.

Just take a serious look at the rubbish you sent to me which I have attached to this email. They are absolutely TINY compared to the original images that I sent to you. Tell me, do you have a monkey in charge of the scanning? I know that you are probably not responsible for the scanning yourself, but whoever he is I suggest you get rid of that imbecile as soon as possible.

Now, I have attached your three awful images and ONE sample of the SIZE & QUALITY I am expecting from your scans. If you cannot scan anything properly then do not waste my time any further.

Look at the dimensions of the map I sent to you. It is 2800 ( TWO THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED) pixels wide by 3644 (THREE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED FORTY FOUR) pixels in height. Now compare that to the scans that you send to me. Yours are TINY at just 480 pixels by 640 pixels. That is absolutely unacceptable.

If you cannot make a VAST improvement on the scan quality then I am afraid you are wasting your time and you are wasting my time.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

The prophet doesn't take kindly to my critique'.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 12, 2006
Subject: Bear with us it is our scanning machine

Dear Mr .Arthur Dent.

As I told you that I am having problems with scan here.I will look for a better scanner or company that can scan it to your tast. I have today gotten the six maps ready.But I can not send them tomorrow to you as I promised.

Please do not use this word RUBBISH! For I am not doing any rubbish, I am using my time to get what is good and not rubbish.

The six maps are very ok to best of my knowledge good scanner will prove soonest.It will cost me money but I will do it to prove to you that I am not doing any rubbish here as you think.

I think by the grace of God I would find a better scanning machine and scan those six maps and send it ti you before friday.

Ubabuike

Email is duly ignored.

 

 

Two days later, the new scans arrive.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 14, 2006
Subject: The new scans

Dear Arthur Dent ,

Sorry for all inconvenece the scans has cause you. Now i took upon myself and you can get the result ok.

You are to look on those maps from 1 to 6, and reply me.The people I have for you here are people under twenty five years after their three years training you can still employe them to work for your company for seven to ten years if you so wish.


Thanks.
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike.
Director.

This time the scans are much better quality.

Click on thumbnails above to open larger image in new window.

The images are very large so if you have a slow connection please be patient.

Pay particular attention to Map 1. In the top left and middle left of the map you will note two sets of numbers. Using A=1, B=2 etc. you will see that the top one spells out 'Shiver Metimbers' and the lower one spells out 'You are a scammer'. Also you will notice the places, "Tribble Way", "Eater Site" and "Baiting Fields". These places do not exist of course!

 

 

Time to give Ubabuike a little encouragement.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: March 15, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Thank you for at last taking a personal hand in arranging the scans. I can confirm that they have been received and are all 100% acceptable. Thank you for seeing personally to this project and you shall be rewarded for your work. All six samples have now been inspected and have been passed as completely acceptable by my board members.

What is required now is to make arrangements for these people to prepare for travel to the UK and complete a simple face-to-face verbal interview. This is nothing complicated, just a short talk to find out exactly what your people are expecting when working for us and how they think they would adapt to living in the UK.

Providing they all have no criminal records and have a full international passport then I see no reason at all why they cannot be employed by my company for the minimum required period and beyond.

What is required now is proof of their identification and official governmental identification and a signed letter from each to the effect that they are stating that there are no legal barriers preventing them from working in the UK and that they have no previous criminal record. Here in detail is what is required:

A scan of each individual's international passport.
Another form of photographic identification for our office records (this will be discussed later).
A signed letter from each of them containing their name, ages, current address and statement that there is no legal reason why they cannot enter the UK and that they have no criminal record.

Once we have received the above details then I shall authorise my board members to forward you the required advance expenses. These will include:

Flight ticket payment
clothing allowance
misc travel expenses (taxi, train etc.)
misc expenses such as food, temporary lodgings etc.

Total amount per person not to exceed US $17,435.

Please signal your agreement to the above requirements and I shall discuss with my board members what other form of photographic identification we require other than the passport scans.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 14, 2006
Subject: Re: The new scans

Dear Arthur Dent,

Sir, I received your mail with many thanks i will get back to you on Friday with a competive reply.

All gorly be given to God thanks onec Sir .

Cheif Ntomchukwu Ubabuike
Director,
Ntom-Uba and Partners
234-806-056XXXX - 234-802- 666XXXX Mobil

 

 

A few days later Ubabuike gets back in touch.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 18, 2006
Subject: It is a reality for greatness

Sir,

Thank you very much for your prompt confirmation of all the six samples as 100% acceptable.
I am seeing personally that God’s hands is in this project. It seems to me before like a dream, but it is a reality. It is a dream- come – true, to God be the glory, Amen.

The all have, no criminal records. Here is the attached international passport of one of the six.

The other five persons has not yet obtain their own NEW International passport.

My Company have applied for the five persons international passport we will get them by next week, as soon as they are ready I will sent it to you.

Proof of their identification and official Government identification and a signed letter from each to effect stating that them have no legal barriers preventing them from working in the UK, and that they have no previous criminal records as you required will be send to you by next week for my Company’s Lawyer are working on that now.

I welcome the required advance expenses of $17,435 per person my Company will add whatever expenses per person may cost on this project.

Thanks

Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

 

 

Lets see if I can get this guy to do some more work!

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: March 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Thank you for the information you have submitted for far, and I await the rest of the information when you are ready.

I do not know if you have anyone who may be interested, however we have 5 new positions coming available at the end of this month for circuit diagram transcribers. The job is basically the same as the map transcribing employment however it is for our sister company who deal in electronic goods.

If you are aware of anyone who could hand draw circuit diagrams (a small sample is attached) then please do let me know and I will supply full sized samples for any interested party to submit their work. Note: Please do not ask anyone to work on the supplied example, this has already been done for us.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 20, 2006
Subject: Re: It is a reality for greatness.

Dear Arthur Dent,

Thanks for your mail, i have some people who can be interested to work on Circuit diagram.

When you are ready you can send me the full sized samples for my interseted party to work on it and submitte to you.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks

Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: March 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Thank you for your reply and I am very pleased to learn that you may have people who are able to reproduce the circuit diagram images.

I have attached 5 samples to this email. The same instructions apply as in the map images. Please ensure once again that when your people have completed the circuit diagrams that the scans you return to us are large and clear.

I look forward to hearing from you soon and please also advise me when the previous applicants will be sending in their identification?

Kind regards,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

No reply for quite a while. I though I had lost Ubabuike but he replies just as I was about to give up on him.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 31, 2006
Subject: Re: It is a reality for greatness.

Dear Arthur Dent,

Sir, I am sorry for lack of contact over two weeks now. i was in the International passport office at Ikoyi Lagos. Please Sir, the applicants details will be send to you on Monday.

For the reproduction of the CIRCUIT DIAGRAM images will be ready by next week my people have started work on that .

I will scan it myself and send it to the address you said.

Thanks alot

Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

 

 

A few days go by and then then the identification and sworn oaths arrive.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 5, 2006
Subject: SWORN AFFIDATIVE OF PERSONAL IDENTITY

DEAR SIR,

SORRY FOR ALL THE DELAYS I WILL SEND TO INTERNATIONAL PASSPORTS ON FRIDAY.

CHIEF NTOMCHUKWU UBABUIKE

 

 

I want to know how my circuit diagrams are going.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 5, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Thank you for the email you sent to me today.

Are your people still working on the circuit diagram samples?.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Seems Ubabuike thinks he's getting his payment before I receive my new samples from him.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 6, 2006
Subject: PAYMENT

Dear Arthur Dent

Good day Sir, we are working on it and by friday. Please if you are sending the money, send it with this name:

Name: ONILOGBO HAKEEM AJIBOLA
Address: No 8, Omirinde Close Off Shobowale Street, Akowonjo, Lagos.

I will be sending the five International passport by 1pm tomorrow.


Thanks and God bless you
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike.

 

 

I'll just ignore his request and ask about my samples again.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 8, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

I asked you if your team had managed to complete the circuit diagram samples that I sent to you however I did not receive a reply to that email.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Over a week later and I finally get a reply.

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 17, 2006
Subject: sorry for the late reply

Dear Mr Arthur Dent.

This is to acknowledge your E-mail of 8th April,2006.

My late reply was becuase I traveled out of Lagos City,I have a major contract in norther part of Nigeria where internet coverage is not find so I am back this evening and I am sorry for the late reply.

Yes my people has completed the circuit diagram samples you sent to me.would I send it?

A lady is among this FIVE group that I would be sending the samples and photos to you soonest.When do we exspect the invitation letter for the VISA process or do you send us a CABLE VISA from UK.

I wait you hear from you.

Thanks.

Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike.

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

Please do forward the samples as soon as possible.

The invitation letters and contract details will be sent to you once the final samples are received. Please do send me the lady's details too.

Sincerely,

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

I think Ubabuike may be getting slightly suspicious!

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 18, 2006
Subject: Re: sorry for the late reply

Dear Mr. Arthur Dent,

I will scan the samples and forward to you before Friday.

Please, reply to my letter that ask of your Company's fill Address and your sister Company's fill Address for us to know what will are doing. Your phone all are off i am trying to get you on phone but i can get through can you give to me a new line to reach you? please do my people want to know your Company's fill Address, Telephone etc.

I am waiting for your reply in full details.

Thanks
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

 

 

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 18, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

I cannot understand why you seem to be having so much trouble contacting me. The number I gave you previously is working fine, indeed it is my office number and if it did not work then I would fast lose business. Here is my private line number, but please keep this most confidential: +44 8707 65X XXX. My cellphone number is +44 7017 00XXXX

My head office address is:

SSB Systems Ltd.
Unit 2/3
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Two days later and Ubabuike seems to be questioning my honesty. How dare he!

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 20, 2006
Subject: FULL ADDRESS

Dear Mr. Arthur Dent,

How are you ?

You said that your site is currenly undergoing reconstruction to add to a new ordering system and extra customer feature will make your online order experience more pleasurable. If anyone have an urgent inquiry, such should please contact the relevant departments;

We could not find your company’s full contact address, Telephone, Arthur Dent as one the Directors on your website. Can you explain to us? No cartography Department or as job title , Map Transcribers,3 years with a 1 year contract extension. Salary; US $173,000.00 per annum base with bonues. As trainee cartographers involved in handwriting recognition systems and a multimillion dollars company.

What you wanted is for us to drawn by hand maps CIRCUIT DIAGRAM images and sent to your company so that your recognition systems can convert, the hand drawings into Professional Computerised maps and circuit diagram images.

My people are now asking me for your Company's full invitation letters and the employment full details.

I will send the five samples as soon as I receive your Company full address, my people have completed it since, this people are separate from the people that did the maps I will scans it this way 1800 x 2644.

Thanks
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

 

 

Time to put this guy in his place.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 20, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

I sent you the office address details as you requested two days ago I know for a fact that you read that email I sent to you on the date of 29th April.

We do not, and have NEVER advertised jobs on our website. All jobs are advertised through official telecommunications magazines, you should know this because when you first contacted me MANY weeks ago in your initial email of January 25th you told me you had read about my details on a web directory. Now, is this true or were you just lying to me? Again, WE DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER ADVERTISED JOBS ON OUR WEBSITE. Our website is designed for customer ordering, NOT to secure people for employment.

All fees are paid on COMPLETION of the samples we require, not one day earlier. You may send the sample to the same address you used previously however I am quickly beginning to tire of these constant delays which are costing ME money, so if your samples are not received by Friday 21st of April as you promised me in your letter of 18th April then please do not bother to contact me again.

If you are unable to send the samples as you promised then please do not contact me again. My patience is now at an end.

Sincerely.

Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Two days later and the circuit diagrams arrive!

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 22, 2006
Subject: PLEASE REPLY

Dear Mr. Arthur Dent,

The samples have been send to you and i will be sending the rest soon.

Thanks

Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike

The chief attaches the samples. They are presented below with smaller versions of the original scans I sent on top, and the hand drawn versions underneath.


Original

Original

Original

Original

Hand Drawn

Hand Drawn

Hand Drawn

Hand Drawn
Click thumbnails to open in a new window.

 

 

The circuit diagram samples have obviously been drawn in haste and definitely not by the same people that drew the previous maps. I suspect that Ubabuike himself drew the circuit diagrams. Perhaps the map guys wanted some cash upfront before working for him again! Anyway, they are totally unacceptable, and I think it's time we let him know it. Arthur Dent is taking a short break, so step in Dirk Gently.

From: Dirk Gently
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 23, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

My name is Dirk Gently and I am the Co-Director here at SSB Systems. I am basically in charge of hiring and firing. Most people call me 'The Bastard' for short, however Mr. Gently will do. Mr. Dent is unfortunately unavailable as he is currently being sectioned under the UK Mental Health Act 1983.

Mr. Dent passed on your Circuit Diagram samples to me a short while ago so that I could pass them on to the head of our electronics division, Mr. Slarti Bartfast for examination. As soon as Mr. Bartfast had stopped laughing, he explained to me that the diagrams are without question, totally unacceptable. To quote Mr. Bartfast, "what kind of sick sick mind came up with these?".

I am afraid that it is obvious that the people who produced the diagrams have no place associating themselves with pencils and other drawing items. My advice to them would be to stand well clear of such implements so as to cause no further distress to innocent bystanders. It appears no care or time was taken over the diagrams, and indeed Slarti Bartfast pointed out that he suspects two of the diagrams may have been drawn whilst the protagonists were blindfolded. Do you have any idea why this may be the case?

The gentlemen who transcribed the previous maps appear to be of some talent however I am afraid that the people that created the Circuit Diagram images appear to be lacking even the most basic skills. In fact I need to warn you Mr. Ubabuike; We have a gentleman who visits our company about once a month who specialises in Graphology (the study of handwriting) and upon inspection of the Circuit Diagrams, he informed me that the person or persons involved may be dishonest people. Please take care Mr. Ubabuike as the graphologist told me he suspects that the people who created the diagrams maybe involved with criminal activity, and possibly even Internet fraud. I offer this advice to you as a favour. Please be careful who you are dealing with.

So, the current situation is that we can not offer the Circuit Diagram transcribing positions to these people as they are just not good enough, however with reference to the map transcribers the news is much better. I believe that for the most part they are completely acceptable, and Mr. Slarti Bartfast will be contacting you shortly to discuss the employment options for these men.

I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

In good faith,

Dirk Gently
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Dirk Gently
Date: April 24, 2006
Subject: PLEASE REPLY

Dear Dirk Gently,

Thanks for your mail, I am Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike, Director NTOMUBA AND PARTNERS.

Yes, I take your advise Circuit Diagram Samples examinations that the people that did it has filed, can I try it again with other people?

I am waiting to hear form Mr. Slarti Bartfast about employment options for those six men that did the maps transcribers.

Thanks you are blessed
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike,
Director NTOMUBA AND PARTNERS.

 

 

From: Dirk Gently
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 24, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

The problem is that there is no longer much time to be able to accept samples. The maximum time I can allow you to present us with new samples is three days, ending on Thursday 27th April.

If you think you are able to comply with that time constraint then I will be prepared to accept new submissions, but again I must stress in the strongest possible terms that Thursday evening is the very latest time that new submissions can be accepted.

I believe Mr. Bartfast will be contacting you later today or tomorrow morning.

In good faith,

Dirk Gently
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

From: Prophet Ubabuike
To: Dirk Gently
Date: April 26, 2006
Subject: PLEASE REPLY

Dear Mr. Dirk Gently,

Thanks for the grace given to us to submieeions of new samples, Please i asked for more days form todays for we can ont be able to submite it on Friday for I am geting new poeple into this project.

Please i would like to hear from Dr. Aurthur Dent.

White I am waiting for Mr. Bartfast contract.

Thanks you are blessed
Chief Ntomchukwu Ubabuike,
Director NTOMUBA AND PARTNERS.

 

 

From: Dirk Gently
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: April 26, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

I am sorry but midnight on Thursday 27th April is the deadline. I am not able to extend this any further. Please advise me immediately if you cannot do this so that I can offer the work to other people.

I will pass on your message to Mr. Dent in a few minutes.

In good faith,

Dirk Gently
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 

 

Ubabuike didn't reply to Dirk, so a few days later Arthur Dent gets in touch.

From: Arthur Dent
To: Prophet Ubabuike
Date: May 2, 2006

Dear Mr. Ubabuike,

After considering various reports from my company, and the lack of courtesy that you have shown to Mr. Dirk Gently (not replying to his emails etc.) I am afraid I have no other choice but to cancel any and all agreements we had, verbal or otherwise to accept any of your people for employment with this company.

Please consider your case closed at this office and I would appreciate it if you no longer waste any further of my time. I do not expect to hear from you again. The positions will now be given to more deserving people, both the map transcribing positions and also the circuit diagram transcribing positions.


Arthur Dent BSC. HHGTTG. PhD.
Director
Singlesideband Systems

 



I expected to here back from Ubabuike with some plea for mercy, alas I never did. I suspect he will be in touch, probably under another name and another guise, but I'm sure he will be back. I'll be waiting!

END.

 

 


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